Innocent Love
by AnnabethReads
Summary: Tobias and Tris have a family. Yes, this family isn't perfect but they believe in moments. The kind of moments that they try to keep going forever only to have it end like all the moments in their lives: With a perfect calm essence that may seem unfixed but some how feels whole. (**THIS FANFIC IS COMPLETE CHECK OUT THE SEQUEL: FIRMS OF ENDEARMENT**)
1. Chapter 1- Music to My Ears

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 1  
Music to My Ears

I wouldn't say it was exact enlightenment when I saw the results. Sure, I always considered having kids, eventually, one day… maybe when I was 30 or something. I also knew that it would be with Tobias' kid, that was a no brainer. But no, here I sit on a white porcelain toilet, 18 years old and holding a pregnancy test guaranteeing that I now hold Tobias' kid. Okay sure, I'm not at an ideal age but I basically can check off my other hopes if I ever had children. Maybe that's why I have a smile working onto my face; it may also explain why I have a desperate need to tell Tobias despite me leaving initiation training early for my own sake of taking this test.

Wait, I can't tell him now. Not with all those other initiates training, I guess I'll tell him tonight in our apartment. Okay, that what I'll do, now back to training those kids.

When I re-enter the training center Tobias has all the initiates surrounding the mat as 2 of them brawl in the middle. I hardly remember most of their names but I think I almost got it. There were 18 this year, 10 Dauntless born (Jason, Nina, Paul, Olivia, Edward, Jeon, Sandra, Rachel, Ariel, Patrick) the other 8 from different factions (Raleigh, William, Roxy, George, Paulina, Jackson, Danny, Jamie). Shauna and Zeke train the 5 separately leaving Tobias and I with the other 8, which is fine by me, they're all pretty good people anyway.

I look over to the fighting board and my mind goes into hyper drive as it matches faces to names and the chances of one person beating the other.

Round 1:  
Raleigh- Candor- Blonde hair- Gray eyes- Male- Well built but poor speed  
William- Amity- Jet black hair- Pale green eyes- Male- Scrawny but quick

Rounds 2:  
Roxy- Erudite- Brown hair- Brown eyes- Female- Tall and frankly rather scary looking  
George- Candor- Brown hair- Green eyes- Male- Great tactic, VERY bad timing

Round 3:  
Paulina- Amity- Red hair- Green eyes- Female- Very sweet looking until you piss her off (Raleigh learned that one the hard way)  
Jackson- Candor- Black hair with streaks of dark red- Sea green eyes- Male- Charming but not very good at keeping his mouth shut

Round 4:  
Danny- Abnegation- Blonde hair- Brown/yellow eyes- Female- Strong, and quick but very small  
Jamie- Amity- Black hair- Gray eyes- Female- Very gothic look going on with this chick

My bets are set on William, Roxy, Paulina, and Danny. I have high hopes for these girls, the boys… not so much.

"How are things going?" I ask Tobias while sliding right next to him and crossing my arms over my chest like him.

"Pretty good, William seems to be using the tactic of tiring out your opponent and then attacking." Tobias and I both laugh but soon cringe when Raleigh body slams William with a loud SMACK! "Well that didn't seem to help." Tobias mumbles and I hit his arm.

"Hey, give him a minute. William is fast and he has a strong stamina, he'll win."

"Is that a bet Prior?" Tobias turns to me, his cute grin and arched eyebrow making me blush.

"Loser has to give the winner whatever they want." I say, extending 'whatever' to show its significance. "You're on." Tobias sticks his hand out to me and I shake it, smiling with the pride and knowledge that I have practically won me a bet within a matter of minutes. The fight goes on a little longer, William still bounding around and Raleigh losing complete momentum and motivation. A finally blow to Raleigh's jaw sent him sprawling on the mat unconscious. Tobias scowls at me angrily before looking back to the boys.

"Round one winner, William!" Tobias announces while scratching off Raleigh's name from the board.

"I win, I win, I win, I win!" I tease in a whisper so none of the initiates hear. "Get him off the mat." I finally demand William and he drags off Raleigh's limp body until blood only remains on the mat.

"Okay, up next… Roxy and George." The two meet in the middle and instantly attack; grunts and screams echoing off everything while both severely damage one another's faces.

"We both know who is likely to win." I say close to Tobias's ear.

"Roxy." We both say in unison and as though it were meant to be, Roxy knocks the wind out of George and Tobias announces her win.

Fight three goes on for a good five minutes before Paulina smacks the cocky smile off of Jackson and sends him unconscious, the entire time we all stared in absolute fear. Tobias calls for the last fight and we both know how this could end. Jamie is big, Danny is even smaller than I was, and this is basically a Tris, Peter fight all over again.

"Wow great idea sticking the giant with the shrimp." I snap at Tobias in a whisper and he smirks.

"Common, this is perfect timing for her to show off her skills and if Danny is smart enough she may just play dead before Jamie can damage her." Tobias laughs and I roll my eyes.

"Idiot." I mumble and with that I watch a possible death unravel.  
Danny dodges the first, second, and third attack but she took a pretty winded fourth attack without a second thought. Jamie straddled her and threw back and forth punches across Danny's face, blood splattering in all directions. This was even worse than I thought. Danny flails beneath Jamie and soon is giving a moment of relief before Jamie yanks Danny by her arm and a loud pop and snap echo in the room. Next a scream and heavy sobbing. I've been an initiate trainer for a little more than a year and with all three I haven't seen a fight like this. Even Tobias is panicking next to me.

"ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH!" I demand and Jamie stops, kicking Danny one last time and walking to the side. "Everyone go to lunch, Tobias help me get her to Chris." He doesn't hesitate; together we walk through he compound, Danny heavily gasping for air as Tobias holds her. We make it to the infirmary and I ask the receptionist whom I know as Laura despite her name being Lauren, working at her desk.

"LAURA CHRIS' UNIT! IS SHE BUSY!?" I demand and Laura shakes her head, shocked to see the girl bleeding in Tobias' arms.

"CHRISTINA!" I cry out as I enter her unit and watch her emerge quickly from behind a curtain.

"Dear lord what happened?" She demanded, rushing over to us.

"Fights, a bigger initiate chose to take out ALL of her anger today."

"Wow you guys are really great instructors!" Chris says sarcastically and I roll my eyes.

"Please, just help her." I finally say and Chris nods, leading us behind another curtain.  
We leave Danny in her hands and as soon as all of this adrenaline leaves my system my mind fills with the revolting images of that fight. Blood, vomit, and now I'm sure to be sick. I glance at Tobias and look at his blood soaked shirt and instantly run for a bathroom. He is quick behind me and pulls back my hair.

"Do I even have to ask for the test?" He asked with a chuckle.

"Not really." I say as I slip the test from my black jacket and hand it to him. I rinse my mouth as he gawks at the test.

"I'm… this… we… a baby… in you?!" He stutters and I nod.

"Yes Tobias, you are going to be a dad, this is all real, we are going to have a baby and it is currently inside of me." I say summing up what his splutter question probably was asking.

"Tris, this is…" His face looks strange, I've never seen him look like that before, now my stomach drops and I feel ready to cry. It never occurred to me that Tobias may not want this baby or wants to stay with me because I'm pregnant. "This is the greatest news anyone has ever told me."

Music to my ears.

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	2. Chapter 2- Admiring My Sleeping Angel

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 2  
Admiring My Sleeping Angel

Okay so maybe in the spur of the moment I didn't mind the fact I was having a child but now, at 5am while Tobias is already out and setting up for the next day of initiation, I'm here crying in our apartment at the thought of being an 18 year old mom. I would call Tobias to come back but that would be distracting him and I don't want to do that. Who else would be up at this time? Probably Will but that would be because of work. Uriah always sleeps in so that's out of the question. Christina, she's awake at this time!

I fumble to grab my phone, my need from wanting comfort from someone nearly causing me to sob. As I wait for her to answer I instantly become self-aware about my nail-biting, which only happens when I'm nervous.

"Hello?" Christina's voice sounds sleepy but something tells me she has been chugging coffee for an hour.

"Chris. It's me Tris." "Tris? Why are you calling me at 5am? You only start work at 7 or something like that. Are you crying?" Her voice sympathizes me and my tears fall faster.

"Can you come over for a few minutes? I know you have work but, I re-really need to talk to a friend at the moment and I would call Tobias but I don't want to take him away from the initiates-"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming over it's okay Tris. I'll be there in 5 minutes."

"Thank you."

_**Christina's POV**_

"Hey Lauren, can you take my shift for an hour or so. I have to go help a friend with something."

"Alright, go ahead. But you owe me later."

"My slice of cake sound good to you?" I ask.

"You got yourself a deal." She smiles to me and I run out of my unit, my black doctors coat expanding behind me. Tris never cries, okay, she does but not like that. She sounded scared but not of someone hurting her. My feet carry me faster and I dodge the very few people who roam the hallways at this time. When I make it to Tris and Four's apartment I saunter in. Between our large group of friends we tend to be comfortable walking into one another's houses, announcing our entry but still we're not to shy with each other.

"TRIS!" I call. No answer, where is she? "TRIS?" I call again, pushing into her bedroom and instantly smelling bile. I hurry over to the washroom and push open the door. Tris was sprawled by the toilet, which was filled with vomit.  
Her chest rose weakly and her body trembled.

"Tris…" I choke out as my body moves forward and falls by her side. I move her head from its side and push back some of her blonde hair. "Tris you have to wake up, come on!" I demand, tapping her cheek and shaking her body. When she doesn't I quickly run for her phone and call Four.

"FOUR!" I cry out into the speaker. "It's me Chris. Come quick! Tris passed out and I can't carry her all the way back to my unit!"

"What's going on?! Why did Tris pass out!?" He shouts into the phone, his voice crumbling with fear.

"I don't know, she called saying she needed to talk to me, I came here and she was passed out by the toilet."

"No, make her wake up. Do everything you can! I'll be there quickly."

When he hangs up I go straight into doctor mode. I touch her forehead and instantly feel the burn I receive from it. Her temperature has to be at least over 103. She's pale, there's puke in the toilet and her hands are clammy. This has to be a virus or the flu. She must be dehydrated if she passed out and if she isn't given fluids soon she could go into a healing coma. Come on Four hurry.

_**Tobias' POV **_

I was just about to go and wake the initiates when my phone buzzed in my pocket. Christina desperately called for me about Tris and now I'm sprinting through the halls, past all of the people who stare at me angrily, and bounding up the stairs to the apartments.

I burst through the apartment and my eyes jump from the surroundings. I run to the bathroom and find Christina wiping Tris' face with a wet cloth.

"Tris, sweetie." I fall to my knees and cradle her head. Her face his heated, and hangs limply between my palms.

"Four, carry her to my unit. She needs fluids she's probably dehydrated. Come on."

I do as commanded and carry Tris bridal style. Christina and I run to her unit where a group of doctors take her on a bed and rush her away from me.

"Christina I want to go with her." I demand while she holds me back.

"No Four, you have to let us take care of her. Go train the initiates and come back at lunch, she'll be here I promise." I look from Christina to the doors that just shut as my mind races with thoughts about my Tris. I can't leave her, not without knowing if she's okay. "Four, there's nothing you can do right now. Just go to work, I promise to call and update you on how she is okay?" I nod and swallow the lump in my throat.

"Okay."

"Alright initiates, Six isn't here so don't ask why!" I snap and everyone stares at me with glares of confusion. "Today you will be doing you final day of fights, after lunch we'll be starting gun work! Here re the fights today." I flip the black board and show who is going against who.

Round 1: Raleigh and George  
Round 2: Jackson and Danny  
Round 3: William and Roxy  
Round 4: Paulina and Jamie

"Yesterday there was free combat, doing what you thought was right. Today you must take what you learned and actually do the proper forms of attacks and hits. If I see anything that looks like a weak attempt to win a fight then we are going to have a few problems. I'm I understood?"

"Yes Sir!" Everyone says in unison while fixing their posture from my unnerving glare.

"Now let's get to the fighting."

~.~.~

I hardly can keep track of these fights, my mind just holds onto what is happening to Tris right now. My leg taps in anticipation for the phone in my pocket to ring.

When Raleigh elbows the back of George making him crumble to the floor I scratch out George's name and announce the victory of Raleigh.

"Round 2." I say carelessly. Jackson and a battered Danny circle the mat, watching one another for any movements and to me it looks like a boring stare down. "Start fighting now!" I say angrily and they instantly charge at one another.  
As soon as punches are thrown my phone buzzes and I fumble to grab it.

"Hello?" I say frantically.

"Four, it's me Chris. Tris is awake. She's sorta groggy, not really sure what's going on but she's awake none the less."

"Oh thank god!" I sigh while sitting on the table I stood by and watching the fight end with a triumphed victory of Jackson. I cover the speaker of my phone with my hand and call out the win and for round 3 to start. I cross off  
Danny's name and put the phone back to my ear.

"Can I see her?" I ask with anticipation.

"She needs to sleep for a little while, regain her senses and then you can come over. Like I said by lunch time she should be fine."

"Thanks Chris. Tell her I say hi and that I love her."

"Will do. Bye Four." We hang up and I look to the fight. The clock on the wall says 10:30. This fight and the last one and then I can do a few more things before releasing them for an early lunch.

It takes 15 minutes for this fight to end with a victory; Roxy looms over the passed out body of William with a triumphed smile.

"Winner of round 3, Roxy! Okay round 4!" I demand and Roxy drags away William. I scratch off William's name and watch round 4 unravel. It's slow at the start, dragging on for 10 minutes with barely any damage being done. Then the real brawl starts and all hell breaks lose. Paulina and Jamie fight for 20 minutes until Jamie gets a good kick to Paulina's side and send her sprawling to the ground. Paulina tries to stand but gives up instantly.

"Round 4 winner, Jamie!" I scratch off Paulina's name and look to the clock. 11:15, good maybe I can put these weaklings through a running test. "Okay initiates lets do a mile race. Whoever throws up first loses, fastest time wins. To make a mile you must do 20 laps around the edge of the room. Do not cut the tapped off corners otherwise you lose. Let's get started." Everyone gives an anguished look but soon go to the side of the room and line up. "Okay, GO!" I demand and they all run. If their speed was fast they should get 1 lap done in 45 seconds. Slower people might take longer than a minute but I'm mainly looking for the person who vomits first.

About 14 laps in Danny collapses to the side and gags loudly. She doesn't puke but she gasps and claws at her stomach. She gets to her feet eventually and runs again with everyone. As they make it through lap 20 I take down their times.

Jamie- 12 minutes 33 seconds  
Roxy- 14 minutes 21 seconds  
Raleigh- 14 minutes 46 seconds  
William- 14 minutes 55 seconds  
Pauline- 15 minutes 37 seconds  
Jackson- 16 minutes  
Danny- 17 minutes 47 seconds  
George- 18 minutes 22 seconds

"Lunch time. Everyone's free to go, be back here in 2 hours." With that I run out of the room and down the many hallways all the way to the infirmary. I run to Chris' unit and go straight towards the receptionist.

"Hey Rila, where's Tris?" I ask her and she looks up from her computer.

"She's behind curtain 8, I think she's still asleep though. You're free to go in if you want." I smile and thank her before jogging to curtain 8 and peaking into it. When I do the peaceful face of my girlfriend sleeping brings tears to my eyes. I sit next to her on a chair and kiss her hand.

"I love you beautiful." I say softly, a smile working onto my lips as I admire her as she sleeps.

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**Like it? Comment, follow, review :)**

**-Valentina **


	3. Chapter 3- They're Fine, I Promise

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 3  
They're Fine, I Promise

When Tris begins to stir it's nearly time for me to return to the initiates. I hold her hand a little tighter and look to her eyes, which open slowly and squint against the light. Christina comes in and dims the brightness so Tris can open her eyes entirely.

"Hey beautiful." I say with a smile that she returns weakly.

"I'm far from beautiful." She says in a croak.

"To me you are." I saw back and she blushes lightly.

"Alright Tris, the good news is you're temperature dropped to 102." Christina says turning away from Tris' monitors.

"102?" I exclaim. "How is that any better?"

"Well considering how she went from 104 to 102 there is a great difference." Christina smiles at me with her 'you're an idiot' smile before turning to Tris again.

"How you feeling Tris?" She asks with a concerned stare.

"Alright. My head hurts and everything is sort of foggy. I remember I went to throw up and then I just passed out." Tris looks to me with her eyes wild as though remembering something. She looks down to her stomach and then back to me.  
It then hits me. Tris is pregnant! What if the baby got hurt? Does Chris even know?

"You're worried about the baby?" Christina asks as she sits by Tris' feet.

"How did you know?" Tris asks as we both look at Christina with bewilderment.

"Guys when someone of our age and older passes out we have to do tests of all sorts for any possible reasons why. It was obviously the flu and dehydration but we ran the tests and I found out you were pregnant. 5 weeks to be exact. The babies are fine, in fact you're lucky to still have both of them."

"I'm sorry did you say both?" I ask with wide eyes. Christina's smile grows even larger and she nods.

"You guys are having twins!" She announces and I feel ready to pass out. Tris has the same expression as we both look to each other.  
Twins? How? One kid seems like enough, but two? How on earth are we going to raise these kids to be… I don't know… normal! We're going to screw up, oh shit, not twins, anything but TWINS!

"Tobias?" Tris asks me, her eyes grabbing mine and trying to beg me to keep her from being scared. She's scared too it's obvious. She's only 18, I'm 20, and we're not cut out to be parents. Then I look to her stomach, in there my babies are growing. In there I have my future and I can only imagine how beautiful my babies will me looking like their mommy or like me or like to two of us put together.

I nod, my smile growing like Christina's and my eyes brightening with Tris looking into them.

"We can do it." I reassure Tris as I stroke back her blonde hair. "Together, even if it gets hard." I say making her giggle. She nods in agreement and squeezes my hand.

"You'll stay with me?" She asks and I nod with furrowed eyebrows.

"Of course I will. I'll always stay with you and the twins." I kiss her forehead.

"I think you have to get going, the initiates need to be trained." Christina chimes in and I look to the clock. It's almost 2; I'm 30 minutes late.

"Yeah. Take care of her for me okay?" I ask Christina, my hand still holding Tris' as I stand up.

"Most definitely. Now don't go killing those kids. I heard several of them freaking out about you today." I nod and kiss Tris' hand once more.

"Get better Six, I need my other half to make me feel like a ten again."

"I will." And with that I let go of her hand and return to work.

|Next Day|

"Today you will be knife throwing. This is not a joke and is possibly harder then shooting a gun. For most of you it will come naturally, for others it will take years of perfecting your throw to hit the target."

"How were you the first time?" George speaks up and I saunter up to him.

"Well George, how does that apply to my knife throwing skills right at this moment?"

"Wel-well it doesn't I guess." He stammers uncomfortably.

"That's right, it doesn't. If I can hit a target now I won't be thinking back to 4 years ago when I threw my first knife!" I demand. "Now everyone grab a belt and let's get to work." I command and they all go to the table, strapping on a belt full of knives. When they return I stand feet from a target, pull out a knife and then throw it. It was so quick and the bang was loud making most of the initiates cower. "That is what I want to see. Now lets get to practice. They all take a station and begin to do the technique I taught yesterday before the session ended. Most of them use the technique of invisible knives, which I do in honor of Tris who claimed it really does work. Others go straight into holding and throwing the sharp blades.

Mentally I take notes on who seems stronger at knife throwing then the others, but I'm soon disturbed when the back door opens with a loud creak. Everyone turns to look and I scream, "DID I TELL YOU TO STOP!" They all get back to throwing and I nod in approval. When I look back to the person I see Tris walking in, my face angers and I run to her.

"Tris why are you here?!" I demand while taking her side gently. "You should be at home resting, not here training these weaklings."

"Tobias, I'm fine." She says with a small laugh. "Please, the apartment got boring without you and I felt capable of training these guys today. I promise if I don't feel good I'll go back but as of right now please let me stay!" Her eyes beg as the light blue pierce me with sadness. I sigh and shake my head but continue to hold her sad eyes.

"Fine." I moan after a moment of her sad eyes. "How are they?" I ask quickly, my hand dropping to her stomach but looking casual enough so the initiates won't notice.

"They're fine, I promise not to allow anything to happen to our babies. Now knife work, how's that going?" She smirks, pushing past me and eyeing the initiates.

"It isn't pretty. They almost seem to be taking these knives as jokes."

"Should we change that?" She asks turning back to me.

"I promise not to take another part of your ear this time." I say making Tris laugh.

"You do and I'll kill you." She threatens. "But any of these guys think they can stand where I do, maybe show them how the knife can do damage."

"Got it. ALRIGHT WEAKLINGS LISTEN UP!" All the knives stop being thrown, the last ones flying either hitting the board and sticking or clambering to the floor. "By analysis some of you seem to be a little to comfortable with these knives. Now this just doesn't seem too dauntless at all. You need to fear these weapons, be comfortable in the fact that you can use them but remember, these inflict pain, these can end your lives with a single swipe. Six has joined us so she will be my demonstration. Six." I motion for her to stand at the target. She confidently walks up to the target and stands in front of it, her small stature making a small un-noticeable smile work onto my face at the sight of her barley reaching the center of the target.

I take a knife and hold it tightly. My eyes close as I breathe in and then fly open when I breathe out and chuck the knife in Tris' direction. It sticks next to her left arm, just centimeters from her black sleeve. She doesn't even flinch, not a single blink of fear.

I chuck the next knife and it sticks next to her right ear, right where I nicked off the small part two years ago. I take my last knife and throw it so fast it shocks most of the initiates. The knife flies and sticks just above Tris' head.

"Big deal, you have an accurate aim, never would you actually hit her." George speaks, I swear the mouth of that kid. I might as well throw my knife at it. While Tris yanks out all of the knives and picks up the dropped ones I stand face to face with George.

"Should we test that with you as my target then?" I ask him in a snide tone.

"Go ahead."

_**Tris' POV **_

Tobias looms over that kid George, a familiar anger stuck on his face as he and George go back and forth. I grab the last of the knives and place them on the table, not even bothering to listen to Tobias threaten George. Apparently one of the initiates agrees because she leaves the group and comes to me.

"Hey Six?" Jamie comes up to me her spiky black hairy swinging in its ponytail. I only realized now how she is my height and seems rather nice as a person. Her eyes are the same icy blue as mine and she has small perky ears.

"What is it?" I ask her, trying to keep my height as leader.

"What happened yesterday?" She asked me and I stare daggers at her.

"What's it to you?!" I snap.

"Nothing, I just saw Four and some other girl running with someone who looked like you in Four's arms. I was just worried about you." She furrows her eyebrows and turns but I stop her.

"I'm sorry for being harsh. Yes that was me and yes, I'm fine." I say with my eyes shut as I try to release my authority voice and sound like a normal person. Jamie turns around with a small smile and glint of success in her eyes.

"You sure you can train us today? I mean I don't doubt you I just know that if Four is resistant to letting you stay and placed a hand on your stomach there is more then meets the eye."

"Jamie listen, you can't say anything to anyone about it. I don't care what you heard or saw you have to keep shut okay?"

"Got it, just promise me that if I make it through initiation you'll show me the baby when it's born." She smiles at me knowingly and I smile back before Tobias and everyone else walks over.

"JAMIE!" Tobias snaps. She turns to him and I cut in.

"She slipped a knife on her hand, I'm sending her to get it checked out." I came up with that when I noticed Jamie still had her hands behind her back. She grabs a knife and slips it on her hand, not even cringing from the gash she just embedded into the back of it.

"Yeah, I guess I wasn't paying attention." She says while bringing her hand around and showing the gash to Tobias. He stares a little lighter and nods.

"Go get that looked at, come back after lunch though." Jamie nods and runs out.

George goes to where I stood, his head actually going past the target. I circle around the table and stand next to Tobias, he leans close to my head and in quite whispers asks, "Where should I get him?"

"Don't do to much damage, maybe skim his arm, not stitches worthy but enough to make a cut."

"Got it." And then the knives get thrown. One sticking by George's ear, the next by his thigh and the last one just running over his arm and smacking the board to his right.

"YOU HIT ME!" George screamed out, pointing an accusing finger at Tobias.

"I didn't hit you," Tobias says calmly, wiping one of his blades with the hem of his black shirt. "You moved. When you get cocky about what you _think _you know you will become comfortable, do something wrong, in this case flinch, and inflict the pain someone else was trying to bring to you." George is dumb ford, his finger collapsing to his side and then head looking down to evaluate his small cut. "You should thank me, I could have thrown the knife closer to your arm thinking you'd stay still but I didn't take that risk. My decision could have prevented the knife in that wall," Tobias pointed to the knife sticking by George's arm. "From jutting out of your forearm right at this moment."

"Yeah well thanks for nothing." George says, walking away from the target and towards a stack of clean sweat towels. He cleans the blood that is falling quickly from his arm and joins the group behind Tobias and I.

"Well I guess you are all free for Lunch, be back her in 2 hours." Tobias declares and everyone leaves the room, their shoulders dropping from all their held up fear.

As soon as the door shuts Tobias turns to me dropping the knife he held on the table and placing his large palm on my stomach.

"They're fine, I promise." I say with a small smile.

"Good." Tobias smiles, leaning forward and placing his warm, pink lips on mine.

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**Like it? Comment, Follow, Review :)**

**-Valentina **


	4. Chapter 4- Aim for the Groin

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 4  
Aim For The Groin

You could say I felt better after my break down yesterday but the truth was my fear of being a young mom still haunted me. I'm thinking into the future, wondering how I would react if my kids got tattoos when they are only 15, would I even let them get tattoos? Would they be covered in piercings? What if I screw up? Screw the future, how will giving birth to them be like? I know Tobias won't be in the room, despite being in dauntless I hold strongly to the abnegation way of having a baby. The men would stay outside of the room while the doctor delivered the baby. It shows modesty and gives no selfish reasons for the woman to get comfort from her husband. After Tobias left me in the infirmary yesterday I talked to Chris and asked her if she would be able to deliver my baby but it turns out that's not her medical league. She can only deal with my development through the pregnancy but when the time comes she has to let another doctor do it. I told her about Abnegations ways and instead of calling me a 'classic stiff' she said that she would be with me during the birth, no questions asked. I'm lucky to have her as a best friend.

"Hey Tris." Christina and Will approach, a tray at hand with their other ones intertwined.

"Hi guys." I smile, watching them sit next to me.

"Where's Four?" Will asks me and I point to the line up.

"Getting him and I food."

"So Tris, how do you feel after yesterday?" Christina asks, Will nodding along making it obvious that Christina told him EVERYTHING!

"I'm fine, I trained the initiates with Tobias today."

"No." Christina butts in. "Tris you shouldn't be doing that! What if you pass out again? You got lucky once but I don't know how the," She looks around and whispers "twins" then she speaks normally again, "Would react. You could lose on of them and believe me, you seem in no shape to deal with the lose of a you know what."

"What can I do then?!" I demand angrily. "If it's not you it's Tobias telling me what to do and how I need to keep myself rested! It's been 5 weeks! That's it, what's going to happen in 8 months from now, huh? Am I going to be trapped doing nothing because it's a _risk!_" I put quotation marks around the word 'risk' and roll my eyes. "I don't want this! I don't want any of this!" Tears begin to well up in my eyes and as soon as Tobias sets down our trays of food I'm over the bench and running out of the cafeteria.

"TRIS!" Christina cries, Tobias soon doing the same as they both chase me. I sob and shake and my knees begin to tremble. I make it to the chasm where I grab the handrail and crouch down, one hand above my head, the other covering my mouth as I try to stop sobbing.

"Tris. Sweetie, tell me what's wrong." Tobias crouches to my side out of breath but stronger then I'll ever be. His hand rubs my back and I turn to him, my face falling onto his shoulder. He sits down and cradles me, whispering words of comfort that I could hardly make out but somehow making me less scared. Chris is soon crouching by Tobias, her hand rubbing my arm.

"I can't do this!" I finally sob to Tobias and he instantly says a calm no.

"You are ready for this, I know it." He encourages.

"What if the kids get screwed up? What if they hate me? Tobias I don't even know if I love them." I admit, my body racking in his arms.

"Tris, you do love them." Tobias says firmly. "We love our babies. Each of us is part of them and they are apart of us."

"No, I don't want them." I say angrily, thrashing slightly but only to have Tobias tighten his grip on me.

"Tris stop!" He demands. I do and he takes my hand, placing it on my hard stomach. "They are in here, the twins are growing and we have to accept it." He says. "I love them, I love you. We are a family now, you have to accept it."

"I'm so scared." I whisper and Tobias nods, his own tears falling now.

"Me too. I don't even think I can be called Four because this feels like my fifth fear. I'm just as worried about this as you are but as long as you and I are together, I'm ready."

"Okay."

~.~.~

Uriah sat at the table during dinner, his arms crosses as he eyed the paintball guns on Tobias, Zeke, Shauna, and my backs.

It's still not fair that you guys get to have all the fun, I want to play capture the flag too!" He whines making Marlene roll her eyes.

"Uriah, this is not just a game, this is an up close and personal mission to destroy another team while working together and proving leadership skills." Zeke says.

"Hey it's a game where people get shot with paint balls and tackle one another like there's no tomorrow. I want in."

"Sorry buddy, initiates and trainers only." Tobias says, pulling me closer to his side. I nuzzle my head into his neck and breathe his scent.

"You guys suck so bad." Uriah complains, going back to his pouting. Tobias looks to him and then sighs heavily.

"Fine. Take my gun, have fun attacking the initiates." Tobias hands the paintball gun to Uriah who is as happy as a kid on Christmas morning. As he stood up Marlene took his arm.

"I swear to God, you hit anyone of us and I will personally murder you in your sleep." She says in a growl causing Uriah to cower slightly.

"Yes ma'am." He nods vigorously making Marlene smile.

"Good, have fun." She says, releasing his arm and allowing him to run free.

"EAT MY PAINT INITIATES!" Uriah shouts as he runs through the dinning hall and shoots the colorful pistols at the angry initiates. Cries of encouragement came from older dauntless members while cries of complaints and dismay of Uriah's childlessness came from the initiates.

"He's an idiot." Shauna laughs, scooping more chicken pot pie into her mouth.

"I wonder what it would be like to get shot in the groin?" I say making everyone look to me with mischievous smiles.

"Why not test it out?" Tobias suggests and Christina nods, smiling brighter at the thought.

"Well… sorry Uriah." I say before leaning back, pulling my gun forward and aiming. He was running crazily, shooting whoever he could. Finally he came to stop on top of one of the tables, looking down at his kingdom of painted initiates. I locked my aim and fired the green paintball. Seconds later Uriah cried out, grabbing his you know what and falling off the table.

"Ohhh!" Will said, cringing from the sight. "Nice shot Tris." He laughed.

"You are so dead." Christina said in a whisper and I shake my head at the thought.

"Not if I can get away with it easily." I whisper back. It took a minute or two before Uriah started limping to the table, his legs widened slightly as his black jeans leaked the green paint.

"Who the hell did that?" He demanded between sharp breaths. Quickly I shove my gun to Tobias and innocently stare at Uriah.

"You!" Uriah shouted, pointing at Tobias who glares at me. "I'm going to-"

"INITIATES! Meet at the train tracks in 10 minutes. It's time for a friendly game of capture the flag!" Zeke shouted through the dining hall, cutting Uriah off before he could even propose his threat to Tobias.

"You are so going to repay me for that little stunt later." Tobias whispered in my ear as we walked out of the dining hall together. He wrapped his arm around my waist and squeezed me tightly, kissing my hair before pushing through the dining hall doors.

~.~.~

Making teams was easy; each team got 5 dauntless born and 4 transfers. Zeke and Shauna called their team Jupiter (I don't really know why) and Tobias and I chose Team 10(get it 6+4… ehh… no the initiates didn't like it either)

Team Jupiter: Jason, Olivia, Patrick, Jeon, Paul, Roxy, Paulina, Raleigh, George

Team 10: Nina, Edward, Sandra, Rachel, Ariel, Jamie, Danny, William, Jackson

Tobias and I agreed to get off first, our team not protesting at the thought of leaving the cart we were all packed into.

"Okay guys, start making a plan." Tobias announces.

"Wait you're not going to help us?" Edward demands.

"We'll help you guys but you have to set the plan up and run us through what to do." I say.

"Did you win, during your year Six?" Ariel asks me as she bounced on her toes lightly.

"Yes, but my plan may not work for your situation. You guys have to figure it out." I say causing the eruption of plans to hit the team. Everyone screamed an idea while trying to ridicule the other.

"Wow, great team we've got here." Tobias whispers to me sarcastically.

"If anything, their screaming is going to give away our location." I say in disdain.

"We have time, Zeke and I will use our walkie talkies when the teams are set."

"THAT'S IT!" Jamie cries loudly making everyone quiet down. "What the hell are we going to do! Our team is fighting over a damn plan and the game hasn't even officially started. We are not going to all go in and attack, we all get hit, we all lose our defense and the other team wins. I don't care who suggested it but I think our best move is through the tress."

"Paulina can climb, there's high chances that she will put it high up in a tree." William adds.

"Exactly." Jamie says. "The tress are full of leaves, we'll be hidden by the foliage and can attack from above while trying to retrieve the flag. How many here are good climbers?" Jamie asks and hands rose quickly. Danny, Nina, Jackson, and Sandra seemed to be the only ones in the group who could scale a tree with ease.

"Okay now the flag, we need 2 people. Again good climbers and not afraid of heights."

"Why heights?" Ariel asks her in a quickened voice.

"Because our flag is going up." She points to the Ferris wheel and everyone gawks at the top.

"We'll do it. Six and I will climb to the top and tie it to that spook right there." Tobias says in a strong confident voice. He hates heights, it's one of his four fears, why the heck would he suggest going up there?

"Yeah, Four and I will go." I say, taking the flag and looping it in one of the belt loops on my jeans. I could never question Tobias if he was sure he wanted to go up the Ferris wheel in front of the initiates. He would never forgive me."

"Alright the rest of us, we attack. Quietly though. Stay hidden, stay down, but intervene when someone in the trees gets spotted." Jamie says everyone nodding in agreement.

"Hey Four, you set?" Zeke asks in a robotic voice through the walkie talkie.

"All good over here, announce the start." Tobias says and then a large siren blows through the land.

"Let the games begin." Zeke replies and we were off.

* * *

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**-Valentina **


	5. Chapter 5- I Want You With Me Forever

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 5  
I Want You With Me Forever

It felt familiar, climbing the Ferris wheel with Tobias on my tail as warm wind pushed me back even though I persisted forward. I looked down every so often to see the pale face of Tobias, his eyes however screamed fury. He wasn't going to allow his fear of heights to keep him from getting to the top.

"How about this spoke? It looks good enough." Tobias suggests to the metal bar sticking out to his right. It's probably the 4th one we passed and with the last 3 he has suggested we leave it there.

"No, we're aren't high enough." I say, pulling myself up the ladder with more speed.

"Some things don't change do they?" He asks me with a small laugh.

"Just keep going, we're almost at the top anyways."

"Fine." He grunts.

We continue up, the ground below shrinking into small specks of handcrafted trees, and almost doll house worthy buildings. Once the ladder ends I begin to climb toward the highest seat, it is of coarse only hanging by a few screws and will most definitely fall if we sit on it but the flat area around it seems sturdy and since we have to guard the flag might as well stay up. With a final pull I manage to sit on the edge of the flat surface with my feet dangling to the world 200ft. below. Tobias joins me seconds later and stares with his mouth hanging open to the ground.

"We are at the highest point, isn't that cool?" I ask him in awe of the horizon.

"No-not really." He replies shakily. I turn and still see him looking to the ground.

"Hey," I take his chin between my fingers. "Don't look down, look up at me." I say and he allows my hand to move his face to see mine.

"Much better view now." He says and I laugh. I kiss him for a moment, my hand still curled under his chin and my other holding his. When we pull away Tobias leans his head onto mine, our warm breaths mixing and heating my cheeks. I can smell his scent, it's so familiar to me that when a large amount consumes me I try to cherish the memory forever. There is no way to describe Tobias' smell, it's light and pleasant with a thought of safety and home springing to mind when it hits my nose. I concluded that his smell could only be called Tobias because there is nothing in this world like it.

"You're my whole world Tris Prior." Tobias says as his thumb runs over my left hand, heating it with his warm touch. "Do you know what was the first thing I saw when we meet?" He asks me and I nod against his head making a sound of agreement. "You were a grey blur at first, I could have sworn someone picked up and dropped you over the building. But then you took my hand and I helped you out of that net and that's when I saw your eyes. Icy blue with a tint of grey in them. Nothing in that moment mattered because I was living in your eyes, reading all of your expressions and trying to find this deep meaning I could have sworn I held with you. I wanted to know more and say more but I couldn't."

"What did you want to say then?" I ask him.

"Hi, I'm Four. It's nice to meet you." He and I laugh at the thought, him being all soft and kind like he is now.

"I'm glad we came up here." I say after finding composure.

"As high up as we are I'm glad you're here holding my hand." He says making me smile.

"You know the first time I saw you I couldn't help but feel the urge to feel all of your perfectly chiseled features?" My hand lifts and I run my fingers over his cheek, around his right ear and down his jaw line where I find the end of his chin. Gently I rub my thumb over his soft lips and pull him in for another long kiss. Once again his hand holds mine and he runs his thumb over my fingers, looming over my empty ring finger.

"Tris." He breathes, cutting off our kiss. "I need to tell you something else." He says and I nod reluctantly. I don't want to end our kiss but he wants to talk so I'll let him. "I want you to stay with me forever. When I'm insecure about something I can talk to you, when I'm happy about something you make it 10 times better. Every morning I wake up to see your gorgeous blue eyes and every night I dream about them. I enjoy how your hand fits in mine and how your nose presses into my cheek when you sneak a peck as I make us coffee in the morning. Your voice as you sing in the shower makes my heart beat faster and my body freeze from the beauty. But most of all the way you show yourself as a strong woman but deep down love everyone and everything because they all mean something to you. I don't want to lose any of those things, I don't want to wake up to new eyes or feel a different set of lips on my cheek. I want you with me forever, so Tris Prior, will you marry me?"

"Tobias…" I begin to say, my words freezing in my mouth as tears roll down my cheeks. So instead of saying those 2 words 'I do', I nod vigorously and take both of his cheeks in my hands, kissing him warmly.

"I'm going to take that as a yes." He says making me laugh.

"I love you so much Tobias." I say kissing him again and running my thumbs over his wet cheeks. Yes, Tobias was crying but that only made me realize how much more this means to him.

"Here, I got you a ring." He says, scooting back a little and shoving his hand into his pocket. When he pulled out the small circle I could hardly make out the design but I knew it was silver since it was shining in the moonlight. His hand took my shaky left one and he slide the ring onto my ring finger. It fit perfectly and when he lifted my hand and kissed my ring finger, which was now occupied by the ring, I felt as though he was marking me as his own for life. When he released my hand I lifted it high into the moonlight to make a better sight out of it. What I did see was the silver ring with a small single black diamond.

"It's so beautiful Tobias." I say, my eyes not leaving the new piece of jewelry.

"I knew you'd love it." He said, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head. Gently he took my hand and placed it on my stomach, his own covering it entirely.

We sat in silence, listening to the wind and lose seats swinging below. In the distance a firework was released and a shout of joy erupted through the land.

"10!10!10!10!" Was chanted as a weight of satisfaction settled on me.

"We win." I say into Tobias' chest.

"We always do." He chimes making me laugh.

So there it was, our victorious team chanting their win, Tobias holding me as close as possible with his chin rested on my head, and the light sound of his heart beating against his warm chest in a repetitive _thump, thump._

~.~.~

His warm lips pressed on my face, peppering me with kisses. It wasn't until he kissed both of my closed eyes that I realized it was morning. However I kept my eyes shut and allowed him to kiss both of my temples and nose before snickering.

"You're awake." He said, his warm breath falling on my face.

"No I'm not." I reply sluggishly.

"Yes you are, no come on." He kissed the bridge of my nose and then in between my eyebrows. His chin stayed poised by my lips so, with my eyes closed I kissed him just under his lips. Steadily he slipped his chin down and replaced it with his lips. His hand came up to hold the back of my head as his other propped him over me. My hands lurched up his abs and stayed on his chest. Our kiss turned into a make out session and despite my want for more Tobias was right, we had to get up.

"Come on, it's 5:45." He said as we both breathed against each other's mouth.

"Tobias!" I demand, smacking his chest with the back of my hand. "How dare you wake me up before 6?" I say with a pout.

"Because I couldn't stand sleeping, all I want to do is see you." He said with a cocky grin.

"Meanie, you go shower and I'm gonna sleep." I say, shoving him back to his side.

"Okay, whatever you say Tris." He got up and started for the bathroom while I reached for his pillow and wrapped it close to my face, indulging in his scent. As I slowly fell asleep I could hear the shower turn on and soon felt the hot air heat the room nicely.

No one beside myself knows about Tobias' fears. One of which is being in confined spaces. He hates small, tight areas where he can hardly move. The bathroom is one of them. Yes, he shuts the door for basic uses but while he showers he leaves it cracked because with the steam building up in there he would feel constricted. Our bathroom isn't anything large anyways, a toilet, shower, and sink is all that fits. So while he showers in the early hours of the morning light and steam fill our room in a comforting way that I don't mind wrapping myself in the moment.

I twist my ring with my fingers, smiling at it through the dim bathroom light. On the train last night I got a better view of the outside but it was only when we got home that Tobias told me to take it off and look on the inside. I did and found IV &amp; VI engraved in the center.

I studied Roman Numerals once, Caleb had this book on his desk that he left out, and I think I was 9. I snuck it into my room and hid it under my bed only reading it whenever I could sneak it out of the house. In no way was I intellectually ready to be like Caleb and sneak books into my room to constantly read but I was content with learning about Roman times and found their numbers very interesting. I could write 1-50 in Roman Numerals and found pride in that despite having to hide that ability form everyone. So when I saw IV &amp; VI I could instantly tell that it meant 4 and 6.

"Do you like it?" Tobias asks me, emerging from the bathroom with a towel around his waist and one running through his hair.

"I love it." I say, smiling at the ring. He walks towards the dresser, sliding on a pair of boxers and then black jeans. As he did that I sat up, bringing my knees to my chest from the sudden uneasy morning sickness slurring inside of me. I haven't thrown up much but I've had a lot more motion sickness. To ease the feeling I pick at the neck hole of the shirt I was wearing and cover my nose. It was Tobias' and his smell covered it.

"Why do you do that?" He asks me, a small smirk of confusion on his face.

"Do what?" I ask my words muffled from the shirt.

"Do that, smell all of my things."

"Because you smell good." I say without hesitation.

"Oh really? And what do I smell like?" He asks me and I shrug.

"I can't describe it, it's literally impossible. All I can say is that it reminds me of safety and your love."

"Wow, I honestly thought you were going to say something like 'manly' or 'soap'." He says making me laugh.

"Yes Tobias you smell like soap but that's not the point. You have a very distinct smell that I love and I plan on taking every bit of it with me forever."

"Okay whatever you say." He says, sliding on a black shirt that showed off every chiseled muscle on his chest and arms. "Do you know what you smell like?" He asks me and I shake my head. "You smell like a meadow." I furrow my eyebrows and tilt my head slightly.

"What?" I ask with a small laugh. "How do you even know what meadow smells like?"  
"Well you know that fence. Zeke and I were training initiates together for the first time, when we were 17. We took a visit to the fence where Eric had all of the dauntless born. He wanted to try a joined training so he took our initiates back to the compound leaving Zeke and I and two friends who were the guards. Zeke asked if they were willing to sneak us through the gate and they agreed so while a truck delivering some farm fresh foods came through we snuck out and walked past the farms to an endless amount of meadows. It was glorious, the sun sparkling in the horizon and the grass blowing in the wind. It didn't smell like the compound or the outdoors after you've been trapped underground for so long. It was fresh and airy and somehow you bring back that memory."

"Maybe we should sneak out of the fence, relive that smell together." I suggest as he sits by my feet.

"That would be absolutely lovely, but first we have some initiates to deal with." He kisses me nose and I laugh.

"Fine, I'll go shower." I groan, standing up and heading to the bathroom.

"I'll be in the kitchen making coffee!" He calls and I give a moan of understanding.

As I shower my hands run over my stomach numerous times. It's almost 7 weeks and now there is a bump. Not to large but I could now see it when I wear tight clothes. If someone didn't know I was pregnant they'd think I was gaining weight.

When Tobias mentioned my singing yesterday I never really noticed that I did it, it was something that sort of happened as a pass by. Even now I'm possibly singing an incomparable song that I heard as a kid.

Singing to yourself in abnegation was a sign of selfishness but singing to someone else was shown as a sign of love. My mom would sing to me as a baby but by the time I turned 7 my dad convinced her that it was coddling and she was forced to stop. I hated that, I loved her singing and those songs but my dad refused to have me babied. So I sang to myself at night, light enough so no one but myself could hear. I miss her voice though.

"Tris?" My singing catches in my throat and I wait for Tobias to say more. "Sweetie I get that it's early but you can't stay in the shower forever. Common, I want breakfast." Tobias says behind the curtain.

"Fine, let me get rid of the conditioner in my hair." I say, letting my head fall back under the warm stream of water. When it's all rinsed out I shut off the water and reach for my large towel. I wrap it around my chest and step out so see Tobias leaning against the door frame.

"Creeping much." I laugh as I comb through my wet hair. I pull it back into a ponytail and turn to see Tobias smiling. "What?" I ask, a smile working onto my face.

"You're just so beautiful." He says and I smack his arm while walking by.

"And you're a great liar." I add, opening my drawer and pulling out my under clothes and a pain of black jeans and a tight tank top.

"No, I'm actually an awful liar. And you are truly a beautiful woman." He kisses my cheek, places my coffee on the dresser and heads out to the living room.

"We're leaving in 5." He says. I throw on my clothes, sliding on some black socks and then my black combat boots. When I walk into the living room sipping my coffee Tobias is watching the news, the only TV channel available anywhere.

"Ready." I say grabbing his attention. He smiles at me turning off the TV. I walk to the entrance mirror and eye my look, turning sideways to see how fat I look. I puff out an air of annoyment. My stomach looks annoying; I mean it's just there!

Tobias comes up behind me and slides his hands on my stomach.

"They make you look beautiful." He whispers into my ear as his hands slide up the top and push it up so I can see my bare stomach with Tobias covering it.

"And fat." I whisper, covering his hands and glaring at it.

"No, you could never look fat. They make you look amazing, and they show a whole new side to you. I love you like this. I love you no matter how you look." He kisses behind my ear and then slides my top back over my stomach.

"Common, breakfast is calling." He takes my hand and leads me out the front door, both of us sipping coffee and talking about ranking today.

* * *

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**-Valentina **


	6. Chapter 6- I'd Go Crazy Without You

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 6  
I'd Go Crazy Without You

We were almost to the cafeteria when Will, with Chris on his back, came running past us.

"Slow pokes!" Chris called, laughing loudly as her and Will turned the corner.

"Get on, we're going to beat them." Tobias says, pointing to his back. I jump on and he begins to run quickly, slowing to a jog when we catch up with Chris and Will again.

"Hi guys." Chris says casually waving at me.

"Hi." I say, waving back with a large smile. Chris face turns from happiness to utter shock.

"Tris Prior, what the hell is that on your finger!?" She demands.

"Nothing." I tease, whispering to Tobias to lose both of them. He begins to run full speed again and we lose the two within seconds.

We burst through the cafeteria with loud obnoxious laughter. Everyone turned to look at us, many of initiates smiled. Tobias continued to walk with me on his back towards our table where Zeke, Shauna, Lynn, Marlene, and Uriah sat. Zeke had a scowl on his face and was sitting cross-armed like a mad 5-year-old.

"Glad to see you're in a good mood this morning." Tobias says to Zeke as I hop off his back and sit on the bench next to Marlene.

"You guys did not deserve that win." Zeke snapped.

"I would like to contradict that," Uriah began. "From what I heard your team put the flag up in the trees and Tris and Four's team found it because it was so predictable. If you ask me all seems fair."

"I didn't ask you!" Zeke demanded. "And if anything you guys had no right to put your flag up on the old Ferris Wheel."

"Anyone from a mile away could see where it was, we didn't tuck it away in one of the seats, we literally hung it up." I remind him.

"Yeah but you guys were guarding it, what if one of our team players went after it but you shot them down?"

"We wouldn't shot anyone down from that height and if anything it shows them what it truly means to be dauntless." Tobias is quick to answer and Zeke just gives an anguished breath, shaking his head in dismay.

"You two suck so bad right now." He finally says, Tobias and I just laugh in response.

"TRIS PRIOR!" Christina bursts through the cafeteria doors, her eyes jumping on every person until they land on mine. I only notice now the giant scrape on Will's knee, a matching one on Chris' elbow.

"You better start talking!" She demands, a small smile edging on her lips.

"Well," I begin, sliding my hand into Tobias' and smiling at everyone at our table. "We're getting married." I hold up my left hand allowing the group to see it. Everyone squeals and cheers, the guys clapping Tobias on the back, the girls hugging me and demanding the story. I tell them how it happened, his sweet words, everything that made the moment special. By the time I'm finished all the guys were listening and the other table was finding a fascination in it.

"Guys," Chris squeals in a girly way. "That's so great!" She demands throwing her arms around me.

"I think this calls for a celebration." Zeke announces, his foul mood seeming almost non-existent.

"Sounds good, how about our place after initiation training?" Tobias asks and everyone agrees. We return to eating, the girls pushing Tobias away from me so they could all admire the ring.

"This is my favorite part." I say, sliding the ring off and showing the engraved 'IV &amp; VI'

"4 and 6, that's your guys' trainers names." Lynn says knowingly.

"Yeah, it makes it all the more special that he included our other personalities." I say looking up to see Tobias sitting across the table from me. I slide the ring back on and we return to our food.

~.~.~

Today we set up the rankings, the first people that we would cut. The initiates were training all together doing a little hand-to-hand combat and using the punching bags.

"Okay so we've got to cut 3 people leaving 15 for the next round of initiation." Zeke says leaning back into his seat and extending his arm around Shauna.

"Why do we even have to cut people? That was Eric's rule he isn't here. We can keep all the 18." I said in an attempt to protect these people that I have oddly become concerned about.

"Because that's the way things work now Tris. If we don't cut anyone then the initiates from the last six years will find reasons to retaliate and then what? We have to deal with the angry dauntless that lost their friends and their families because we cut them." Shauna says in a voice that is trying to ease me.

"But Shauna their good people, we can get them all jobs and-"

"That's not the problem Tris." Tobias cuts in. "Sweetie like Shauna said, we don't need people retaliating and demanding the return of the past dauntless we sent away to be dauntless. Do you want Peter to demand the return of Molly and Drew because in his fairness it will happen and I don't know what they would do to you."

"Tobias I can take care of myself." I say, crossing my arms across my chest.

"I know you can but who will take care of the babies? Molly, Drew, and Peter. Those three will avenge themselves and I don't want them to target our babies."

"I won't let them though!" I snap causing everyone at the table to look at me in shock. "Look I don't want to be the reason that these guys wake up hungry every morning, I don't want them to look back and realize that it was my fault they don't belong anywhere."

"It's not your fault though, it's the way things work." Tobias says softly.

"Well then I don't want any part of ruining someone's future. Excuse me." I stand up and place a hand on my churning stomach. Tobias stands up after me, running to where I was walking.

"Tobias, please give me a minute." I say, covering my mouth with my hand as I try to cover my attempt to swallow the bile crawling up my throat.

"Your sick, what's wrong?" He asks me, his hand falling on the small of my back as he stands in front of me.

"Nothing." I croak, my feet slowly weakening under me. "I just-" But those words hardly make it out of my mouth before I shove Tobias with as much force as possible and throw up into the garbage can by the door. Tobias, Shauna, and Zeke all run to me. Shauna picks my hair up and ties it with one of her many black hair ties.

"Should we get Christina?" Zeke asks while Tobias runs his hand over my back.

"No, it's morning sickness. She just needs to go home and rest." Tobias sighs, taking my hair from Shauna.

"But it's not morning." Zeke said, I swear that comment just made him sound like an idiot.

"Stupid!" Shauna scolded, a hard smack hitting him. "Just because it's called morning sickness doesn't mean that it can't happen at any time of the day."

"ohh." Zeke says in a confused manner. I cough once more and spit out the leftovers in my mouth.

"Here, clean your mouth." Shauna hands me a paper towel and before standing up straight I wipe my mouth clean.

"You should home, take some medicine and have a nap or something." Tobias suggests, holding my side lightly.

"No, I just want to go for a walk. You guys chose who to cut and I'll go clear my head." I say.

"Tris, I'm not comfortable with you walking around the compound in your condition."

"What condition? I just have a little morning sickness. That's all."

"Tris-" Shauna tries but I glare at her.

"If I don't feel good I'll go home." I say, pushing Tobias' hand off my hip. "Consider who you cut because they're just kids." I warn before walking out the door and turning towards the pit.

~.~.~

It could have been hours, the whole day maybe but I wouldn't have noticed or cared. All I could do is sit with my feet dangling over the pit as I rested my arms on the railing and my chin on top of them. So much happens when you take the time to look. People have stupid fights over the dumbest of things and others live through a first time experience. Their first kiss, first hand holding, first debate. It is all quite fascinating, just the way people work and how they react.

Alfred, a guy from last year's initiation crouched beside me and gave a cocky grin. "Hey Tris, I understand you must be coming up with some crazy idea or just trying spy on whoever but we need to start setting up for the rankings announcement and we sort of need to get the lighting set up where you're sitting."

"Sorry Alfred, I'll move." I say, pulling myself up to my feet and wiping my hands on the hem of my shirt.

"Anything wrong?" He asks me as he lifts a silver lamp onto the railing and begins to screw it on.

"Not really." I say watching his hands fiddle with the screwdriver.

"You sure?" He tests, the side of his mouth cocking into a grin.

"Just rankings sort of angered me."

"You didn't agree with the others on who should be cut?"

"Not that, I just didn't agree with the system."

"That seems pretty accurate." He starts unwinding the wire, slowly handing it down the pit to another girl.

"Yeah, I don't like how we have to cut everyone. I don't think it's right to exile these innocent people to a life of hunger and emptiness." Alfred's grin drops and he starts to look a little sad.

"You know Monica didn't make it after the second part of initiation?" He said in a whisper. It all hits me suddenly. Monica and Alfred were twin transfers from Amity. Monica was guaranteed a top 3 spot but Harold, a jealous low ranker, couldn't stand the thought of being factionless. One night while everyone was asleep Harold scooped up Monica and gently walked her to the chasm. When she finally got to her senses and screamed this blood-churning screech he tossed her over and walked away. No one knew about it until the end of initiation when he ranked 10th place and word got around it was his fault. He was executed for his crimes after we used some of the serum from candor and got all the truth from him. Alfred was given permission to be the executor but he refused saying it would be something to haunt him forever.

"I know Alfred, she would've been here if the accident didn't happen."

"It wasn't an accident, it was a murder. She would've been happy here if it weren't for the good for nothing Harold. She's gone though and so is that bastard."

"You know it's okay to be upset with the past." I say, addressing how he always smiles.

"We can't always dwell in the past though, otherwise we have no future." Alfred's smile returns and he clicks on the bright LED light. "See you later Tris." He winks at me and turns around, scooping up a cardboard box full of lights and heading to the next section.

~.~.~

"Hey Tris, where've you been?" Marlene asks as I slide on the bench at our table and place my tray by Tobias'.

"Oh you know, here, there, everywhere." This receives a smirk from her.

"You okay?" Tobias whispers to me, placing his fork down and leaning close.

"I'm fine." I say, poking my cup of rice.

"You know we can talk about it later." He suggests, running his hand up my back.

"Later." I assure him. "I'd rather just finish dinner for now." He nods and starts to eat his side of peas.

"So what'd you really do?" Tobias asks me, taking a piece of my chicken.

"I was just sitting under the railing by the pit, you know creeping on people and stuff." I say causing Tobias to laugh.

"Anything interesting?"

"Nah, I just realized how stupid people are because they fight over the dumbest stuff and… and I realized what we're doing wrong."

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"The system, it's all wrong. We encourage everyone to be an enemy and to fear one another. If they didn't have to worry about being factionless then they wouldn't have to hurt one another."

"Hurt one another how?"

"Remember Monica, from last year?" I ask.

"Yeah, Harold tossed her over the chasm. Alfred… he was… I'm surprised that guy can keep a smile that strong."

"Remember what happened to me during my initiation?"

"I try not to. I could've lost you to Al, Drew, and Peter." His voice cracks and he swallows heavily. He turns away slowly, as though looking at me will break him.

"Hey," I pull his chin back around to see me. "My point isn't to expose all of the wrong things that happen but I'm trying to say that if these initiates have nothing to lose then we would have less people hurting each other."

"I love that you realize that. Not many people can see that this isn't just to show your bravery but it's also to show your strength and ability to keep those people around you together. I'm not a leader though and despite Eric not being a trainer he still controls Dauntless along side Max and as hard as we try they won't let it happen."

"Sometimes I think you're the only one that can convince me not to lose my head over something like this. You seem to be the only one keeping me sane when I think I might go crazy."

"I love you, crazy or not." Tobias pulls me by my side and places a kiss on my head.

"I love you too Tobias." I say snuggling into he crook of his neck.

* * *

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**-Valentina **


	7. Chapter 7- Your Lips Will Remind Her

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 7  
Your Lips Will Remind Her

We watched the rankings, listened to Max's stupid speech and then allowed the names to come on the board. When they did appear I instantly turned into Tobias' chest so I wouldn't have to watch the 3 weak, innocent initiates gawk at the board and crumble to the floor at the thought of not belonging anywhere. Tobias ran his hand up and down my back and kissed my head repeatedly as we rocked back and forth slightly.

"She was- I- How could this happen?" I sob into Tobias' chest as the dauntless exited the room.

"I know. I'm sorry." Tobias said lightly.

"NO!" A loud screech came from the door, I turned my head lightly ultimately regretting it as I watched two men drag Danny out.

"Stop shoving." Jeon barked at the two men escorting him and Paul away.

"I want to go home." I say shakily running my head through my hair and stepping away from Tobias.

"Tris-"

"How will we do this again!? How are we going to cut 5 more people?"

"Tris we don't do it, the numbers do." Tobias says sounding rather irritable.

"I don't want to have to watch another kid being dragged away as they beg for another chance."

"Danny wasn't strong enough, she never won fights and she hardly tried."

"She sounded so scared though." I say, her shrieking still sounding in my mind. Tobias doesn't say anything though, instead he places a hand on my stomach and looks to me knowingly.

"I know where this is coming from." He says softly.

"I don't want our babies to be screaming for me if they don't make it through dauntless initiation."

"We'll work it out, now c'mere." He pulls me towards him again, my face fitting into his chest.

~.~.~

It was probably the longest dwelling week of my life. I had to help administer tests to the initiates and watch all of them lose their minds at having to deal with these terrorizing fears everyday. Their screams and sobbing would echo through my mind and by the time my head hit the pillow at night I was past exhausted. I was drained from all of my happiness and slowly sinking in my own sadness. The dreams that came with this weren't any better. Some nights it would be that I went through my own fears again, other nights it would be me watching Danny kick and sob and scream for them not to take her away. Tonight though… tonight was nothing I could ever explain.

~.~.~

"Here are the initiate rankings!" Max announces, the board illuminating with 10 names.  
The cheering began but I drained out that sound, my mind only focused on a certain crying girl. She was kicking in the arms of two men, crying for them to let her go. When she got one of the men in the throat they dropped her immediately, causing her to hit the ground hard.

"Mommy!" The girl sobbed, scrambling to her feet and to my direction. What is this? Who is this girl? "Mommy, mommy don't let them take me away!" She cried, collapsing herself around me, and sobbing into the crook of my neck.

"Shh it's okay," I try, running my finger through her loose ponytail which it allowing her brown ombered hair to fall in her face slightly. "I've got you." I say, knowing for sure I'm her mom and this is my little girl who didn't make it through initiation and needs me.

"They're going to take me away." She whispers in despair.

"I won't let them, I promise not to let you go. Ever." I say into the girl's hair, gripping her just a little tighter.

As though to prove higher power standards Eric and Max approach, I hold my daughter behind me as she continues to cry.

"You can't take her away."

"She failed initiation, we have every right to take her away from dauntless." Max says, his face not even showing a bit of emotion.

"She is not leaving, I won't allow it!"

"You may not but everyone else will. Gentlemen." It happens so quickly. Two people grab her from behind and when I turn to grab her Max and Eric take hold of me, restraining me from grabbing my daughter.

"MOM!" She cries. "MOMMY HELP ME!" She pleads, her body trembling as she was dragged away.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" I scream at Eric, trying to shake them off me.

"We already have." Max concludes, my daughter giving one final call for me and than a sob that causes me to crumble.

"I love you." Is all I can say before falling to my knees and collapsing my head on the ground.

~.~.~

"Tris. Tris honey you're having a nightmare." Tobias shakes me awake and I can instantly feel the warm tears falling down my face. "It's okay, it was just a nightmare." He assured me, wrapping his arms around my waist and sitting us up against the headboard. "Do you want tot talk about it?"

"No." I say rapidly, more tears falling down my face.

"Okay." He says as he lifts his hand to my face and wipes away the tears coating my cheeks.

"They took her away, our baby. She didn't make it through initiation and they ripped her away from me. It was like having my heart teard out of my chest." I say absently, not even considering the fact that I just told him I didn't want to talk about it.

"No one is going to take away either one of our babies." Tobias says softly, placing his hand on my stomach. "I wouldn't allow it to happen." He assures me, planting a kiss on my forehead.

"What if we can't protect them? What if they're divergent or chose another faction and we can't be there to save them from themselves?"

"We'll teach them how to take care of themselves."

"I haven't even had them yet and I feel like my life was made to protect these two tiny people."

"Maybe this," He rubs his hand in a circle on my stomach before continuing, "Is our destiny from all along."

"You think so?" I ask him.

"I know so. We didn't plan them but we sure as hell will keep them safe and love them just the same." I smile at his words and pull him in for a kiss.

"You are going to make a great dad Tobias." I say softly.

"And you an even better mother." He says back, kissing my nose and then pulling the blankets up so I'm covered once again.

"Now sleep. You need to rest." He commands and I do as told, rubbing into is chest and falling asleep with his heart beat against my cheek.

~.~.~

We finally made it to the last rankings and when I was back, leaning against Tobias and waiting to turn away so wouldn't have to see 5 initiates lose everything they've worked for I couldn't help but feel my body shaking.

"Is there an earth quake?" Tobias asks snapping me out of my trance.

"What?" I ask stunned making Tobias snicker.

"Sweetie you're shaking like crazy, calm down."

"I still hear Danny, I still hear her screaming at night." I say in a whisper. Tobias pulls my chin up so I meet his eyes.

"Hey," he says with a small grin. "It'll work out. They'll be fine, they are all strong kids who know how to take care of themselves."

"Okay." I say allowing him to kiss me before Max congratulates the passing initiates and then steps away from the board.

1\. Nina

2\. Roxy

3\. Jamie

4\. Edward

5\. William

6\. Rachel

7\. Ariel

8\. Patrick

9\. Jason

10\. Jackson

11\. Olivia

12\. Sandra

13\. Raleigh

14\. Paulina

15\. George

No one screamed or fought while leaving the compound. Just five dropped heads that were ushered away as a group and then a thunderous applause and cheering as we welcomed the 10 new dauntless members.

Somehow I managed to get through the crowd and towards the group of celebrating 16 year olds.

"Six!" Jamie said, a smile so wide it made me creak free with one myself.

"You made it." I cheer, hugging her tightly.

"Thank you so much!" She said after we pulled away.

"No, you did it all by yourself, no need to thank me." I say. "Any idea what job you're going to pick? Position 3 almost guarantees that possibility of getting what you want."

"I don't know really. What are you when you don't train the initiates?" She asks me.

"Ambassador for dauntless. Four works in the control room as intelligence. I can't really work though in a few months since, you know." I nod to my stomach making Jamie's smiles broaden.

"Well what would you do for work?" She asks.

"I talked to the tattoo and piercing parlor. They say when I'm told to stop train hopping to go and work the cashier for them."

"Wait does working as a tattoo artist count as a job?" She asks me.

"Of course. You like art?"

"Yeah, in Amity there was always paint and I would draw for days on end."

"Well consider it, you can design some awesome tattoos, I might even get one if you manage to make a cool design."

"Awesome! Thanks Six." She gives me one final hug before going to Jackson who stands a good 2 heads taller then her. She tiptoes to kiss him and he helps her by lifting her from her hips.

A first for everything and I have a feeling this is the first time I watched what Tobias and I must look like where he towers over me yet somehow makes that look like a perk in our relationship.

"Excuse me miss but have you seen my beautiful fiancé who has managed to escape once again?" Tobias comes from behind, slipping his hand I mine and spinning me in a circle before pulling me to him.

"I think she got lost in your eyes sir." I reply, allowing my legs to fall around Tobias' hips as he lifts me the same way Jackson did to Jamie.

"Oh darn it now she is gone for good. Do you mind being her replacement?" He asks and I lose it, cracking up at this charade.

"I think she will come back if you kiss her. Your lips might remind her of where she truly belongs." I suggest and Tobias smirks.

"What an excellent suggestion." He presses his lips to mine as I hold around his neck and take advantage of my higher vantage point.

"Did it work?" He asks me, his eyes still closed as we rest our foreheads on one another's.

"Open your eyes and see." I say, kissing each of is eyelids before he opens them and smiles at me.

"Yup, it's you. No one has those icy blue eyes." He laughs, kissing me once more before placing me back on the floor and taking my hand. We walk towards one of the tables and sit with our group of friends. The crowd of celebrating dauntless not dying down until nearly midnight when everyone is demanded to clear out. Tobias and I walk back to our apartment and fall asleep in each other's embrace and for the first time in 2 weeks I didn't have a nightmare and it felt as though all of those screams and sobs just flew away from my mind.

* * *

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**-Valentina **


	8. Chapter 8- Crumbling From Sadness

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 8  
Crumbling From Sadness

|4 months|

I have a stomach now, a small one but it was there and Christina was showing me how the babies looked inside. They were white faces shown in front of a black background. Rumbling left the speaker and I could instantly tell the difference in heartbeats. Christina told me the highly nourished twin had the strong consistent heartbeat and was the larger of the two.

The other one was smaller and had a weaker heartbeat, not something to be frightened about but still it was a prominent difference. I wish I could enjoy this, I really do but Tobias isn't with me, this is the 4th time he couldn't come. After initiation was over, Tobias had to be faction representor in replacement for Antony who had an accident jumping from the train. Now him and Zeke are constantly going to represent dauntless and I feel like I am doing this whole pregnancy on my own.

"They look good." Christina says chiming into my thoughts and making me smile at the screen. "Do you want to know the genders?" She asks causing me to lose my smile lightly.

"Not without Tobias." I say in a meek voice. Christina purses her lips and shuts off the screen making the heartbeats stop. She hands me a tissue behind her back and I wipe off the blue goop while she puts away the equipment. When she finishes I'm pulling my shirt down and disposing of the tissue.

"Tris," She begins to say in her 'we need to talk' voice. "I think you need to talk with Four. He can't keep leaving you like this, these babies need to two of you and if he isn't going to be there then-"

"I get it." I cut in. "Tobias is busy, I can't stop him from going to work. It scares me that he isn't going to be there at all but what can I do?"

"Talk to him. Tonight." Christina demands and I nod. I stand up and Christina follows me outside where she says goodbye, coos to my stomach and then heads to the receptionist desk. I walk back to my apartment and flop down on the couch, exhaustion getting the best of me as my eyes heavily close and my breathing settles to an even restful sound.

~.~.~

You could say it was hormones getting the best of me but when I woke up with a pounding headache and side pain like no other I was in no mood to find Tobias just entering. The clock read 3am and he smelt of faint liquor. I knew he wasn't too drunk but the fact he was out drinking instead of coming home and asking about the ultrasound sort of, no scratch that really pissed me off.

"Hi," He says cautiously as though I was an explosive that could blow at any second.

"Don't fucking hi me!" I snap, standing up from the couch and fixing my hair.

"Tris, I'm sorry for staying out later than promised-"

"No!" I demand. "It's not even the fact you stayed out! This is the 5th ultrasound you missed, you promised to be with me through all of this but so far you seem to be failing."

"Please don't be mad." Tobias pleads

"I deserve to be mad! I can't work because there are no desk jobs available so I'm stuck holding these babies and hanging around the compound. You go out for "work" but come home with the smell of liquor leaking from your body? Why the hell do you think I'm mad now? Huh?"

"Zeke and Shauna are having problems, he wanted to go and get a drink to forget about things for a while but if I can only go to work and be with you let me know so I can figure out how I will cope with these next 5 months!"

"Oh I'm so sorry if I'm to boring to be with! I'm sorry if I'm stuck holding YOUR babies, which you impregnated me with when you chose to fucking forget protection!" I scream loudly, marching to our bedroom with Tobias close behind me.

"Maybe if you didn't push so much to do it that night after I warned you about my lack for protection we wouldn't have those kids." Tobias points to my stomach and I cover it protectively.

"Do you even want these kids!?" I scream so loudly that my voice hitches at the end.

"NO, I NEVER WANTED THEM ESPECIALLY NOT IF YOU ARE GOING TO HOUND ME ABOUT WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T DO!" He screams back. "If this is what the rest of my life will be like then I absolutely hate these kids."

"Well fine then, these are no longer your kids. You are not their father and frankly I am glad about that because there is a high chance that you will be exactly like-"

"Don't you dare say that I will be like my father was!" He says in between clenched teeth, tears fighting in his eyes.

"They aren't yours anymore Tobias, and I don't think we can ever be together after what you said. I get they were an accident and believe me I sometimes question if they are going to be worth it in the end but you blaming me about it? You blaming me for taking away what you once had, that isn't fair. If you saw those images and listened to their heartbeats you'd understand why it might be worth it in the end." I pull out my black hoodie and slip in over my tank top. I turn one last time to see Tobias biting his lower lip as tears burn the edge of his eyes. As I walk to the door to leave he grabs my hand.

"Tris please." He begs and I shake away his grip.

"It's too late Tobias. I need some time." I say not even bothering to look at his eyes. "What happened to all of those promises that you'd stay with me?" I ask, knowing he is listening to me from behind. I slip the ring form my finger.

"Whatever happened to protecting one another?" I place the ring on the dresser next to me and open the door. I walk out of the room and then the apartment, slamming the door behind me with a heavy sound following.

~.~.~

I knew I was running, I could feel the hallways fly by me and heard the heaving of every breath that escaped my lungs, depriving me of oxygen until I inhaled another load of air. The world seemed rather distant at the moment, all I could think of was how I let Tobias go, I told him he wasn't these kids' father anymore and after all of this adrenaline is leaving my body I can't seem to figure out if I was just being plain stupid.

I need him I need Tobias. Despite his lack of presence I need him to hold my hand at night and to fall asleep with one hand on my stomach and the other holding me close. Why am I so stupid? He'll never take me back after I admonished him and removed his rights of being father. How could I even say that he will be like Marcus? If anything Tobias is so self conscience about being like his dad there would be no chance in hell that he would do anything remotely close to what Marcus did.  
Now I can only remember how he didn't want the babies. I understand that it's hard, I have the larger load of it but why does he have to say that? It could be that he doesn't know what seeing them is like. He hasn't heard or felt anything from these babies like I have. He can't name which baby has a stronger heartbeat and which one has a lighter.

"Chris!" I sob out, smacking the door with the palm of my hand nearly crumbling to the floor from my sadness. "Christina please open!" I beg, my knees buckling under me and now only my grip on the doorframe holding me up. I hear frantic feet walking up to the door, locks being unlocked, and the door finally opening. Christina was dressed in a pair of shorts and a large shirt I suppose is Will's. Her short hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. Her expression was tense, frightened, and rather uneasy. I chocked out another sob and nearly collapsed if she hadn't slide her arms under mine and walk me to her couch.

"Tris what's wrong?" She demands, looking deep into my eyes with her brown ones.

"Tobias." I manage to say and she looks confused.

"What? Is he hurt, did something happen?"

"I talked to him. He-he was out drinking with Zeke and I asked if he even wanted the babies… he said he wished we had never had sex the day the twins were conceived." I continue my sobbing as Christina wraps her arms around me.

"Did he say anything else?" She tries, despite my inability to make words.

"No." I whimper into her shoulder, more tears drenching her shirt.

"Chris I don't know what to do. I told Tobias he couldn't be the father anymore! I'm so stupid!"

"Shh, it's okay. You're fine, I'm here for you okay?" Christina rubs my back in a comforting manner and soon my sobs turn into light crying.

"What should I do, what do you need?" Christina asks me. Pushing my shoulders back and staring at me with her brown eyes.

"I just need to stay somewhere, for a little while at least."

"Stay with me, I don't mind at all." She says and I thank her immensely.

"Come on, we can share the bed. The couch is to uncomfortable anyway." She helps me up and we walk to her room where she goes back to her side of the bed. I take the other and warm up in the black sheets.

"Thank you so much Chris." I say before dozing off.

"Anytime Tris."

* * *

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**-Valentina **


	9. Chapter 9- Crying Eases Pain

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 9  
Crying Eases Pain

_**Christina's POV**_

I'm going to kill him. No, scratch that, I'm going to find him, demand multiple answers about why he hurt Tris, then I will kill him! It's been a week and all Tris has done is cry, sleep, and stay in the apartment. I fear leaving for work everyday because she seems so sad, like one wrong word and she'll crumble to a million pieces. I got the whole story after a while but it still doesn't seem right. Four must have been really desperate if he stayed away all day, drank some alcohol, and then returned late at night as though he didn't care about how Tris and the twins were.

"Hey Tris." I say entering the room I set up for her. It's still dark, but it's not like she would care, she's too sad to do anything. She blinked a few times and then looked to me with red, groggy eyes. "It's almost lunch time and the babies still need nutrition. Do you want to maybe get up and head out for some food?" Her expression looks dull but in her eyes I could tell she was weighing her options. She's smart, she knows when it's time to be sad and time to move a little and support those babies.

"Okay, I'll be ready in a few minutes." She finally croaks after a minute of thought. I smile to her,

"Good, call me if you need anything." I tell her before closing the door and heading back to the living room. For the time being I sit on the couch and watch the news, nothing good is broadcasted, there isn't much to show aside from the factions at work and since all the TV shows is the news then there isn't much to do.

It takes 10 minutes until Tris comes out of her room. Her hair was wet and she wore my to big clothes that I'm letting her borrow until Will can talk to Four about taking her stuff to my place. No one has really seen Four anywhere all week and Will has been putting off the whole going over and talking about the situation. I would go myself but Tris only seems comfortable with me alone so I put Will to do it.

"I'm ready." She says in a whisper. Another thing that changed was her speaking, she has brought back her stiff voice if anything and seems to scared to speak in any different forms.

"Wow you even showered." I say in a teasing manner.

"I had to eventually." She murmured and my smile fades.

"Common we can pick up Will on the way." I comment and she nods her agreement. I take her arm and walk out the door with quick strides. We walk a few apartments down, turn right and stop at Will's apartment B18. I knock push the door open (always unlocked, classic.)

"Will!" I call into the apartment bringing him out of his room and walking towards me with quick strides.

"Hey you." He mocks, pulling me into his strong embrace and kissing my forehead. My stomach aches that Tris has to see this but Will and I are together still. I can't enforce a no love rule, that would be punishment to Will and I.

"Hey Tris," Will says sweetly, using his gentle voice the same one he used when Tris was attacked by Peter, Drew and… Al.

"How do you feel?" He asks, venturing a little more into conversation.

"I'm okay." Tris says back, her voice small and quite.

"I'm glad to see that your coming with us for lunch, it's good that you get out." He says and I nod right beside him.

"Yeah, the underground air will really make you feel good." I joke and that manages to sneak a small, almost unnoticeable smile from her.

"Common smart-ass. I'm hungry." Will demands, pinching my side making me squirm.

"I'm not Erudite! Can't call me a smart-ass!" I demand, pinching him back and causing the same squirming effect like mine.

"Now come on, food doesn't last long here." I say and all three off us walk to the dining hall. Tris walked to my left and Will at my right, the usual walking line that we have been known to do when it was only the three of us. When we get to the dining hall and push the doors open I instantly catch the table where Uriah, Lynn, Marlene Shauna and Zeke sat. They were laughing until catching Tris. Their faces flush almost immediately and Zeke looks to the right of himself where I follow his stare. Four stood by the wall, his face low and body rigid with tension.

"Oh shit." Will whispers and I elbow him. Four looks up and I try to steer Tris away before either of them notice each other but it's to late. Four sees us and instantly walks to us. Tris moves to the other side of Will, her eyes avoiding Four at all costs and I push the two to the table.

"Take her to the table, make sure she eats something." I demand and he nods, taking Tris by her upper arm lightly and leading her to our friends.  
Four anguishly looks to the two as they walk away quickly and attempts to pass me but I block him.

"We need to talk." I demand, in a steady tone.

"Not until I talk to Tris." He says in a croak but I don't budge.

"No, first you have to talk to me!" I demand, taking his arm and pulling him out of the dining hall.  
Four is big enough to stand his ground and not allow my removal of him from the room but I'm guessing he is willing to let me pull him away because if I won't let him talk to Tris then there is no chance in hell that Tris will hear him out.

"Start talking." I say in a sigh once the doors shut behind us.

"I fucked up Chris." He says in a tight voice, his eyes watering with tears as he looks around the hall. "I promised Tris that I would be there for her and I haven't done anything remotely close to that. I've been jumping between factions and staying out late with Zeke because him and Lynn had that fight and I didn't even think about going back to check on Tris and ask for her permission to help Zeke… and I don't know what to do!"

"Tris said you didn't want them." I say in a whisper, my arms crossing over my chest and lips pursing at the anger welling up inside of me.

"Who?" He asked.

"The twins!" I yell in frustration. He frowns, his eyes avert to the floor and he kicks his heel hard on the wall. "That's not you denying what you said, is it?"

"I can't seem to find myself regretting those words." He says bitterly. "Well, I do want them. God I love those kids and would protect them with my own life. It's just what they do to Tris. She gets so caught up in a moment that she doesn't realize I'm hurting too, I'm scared and I can't do anything about it."

"Look we both know Tris isn't acting any different, sure she is a little more stressed and whatever but there isn't anything significantly different."

"You may not see it but I do. It's like she can have these moments if she wonders who is helping her through this and just because no one else is carrying a baby it means that she is all alone."

"That's natural Four." I say, trying to figure out what else he's angry about. "She's feeling different because no one else is going through the same bodily experiences that she is and it must be scary as fuck not being able to talk or relate to anyone we know. There has to be more to this, why did you stay out late with Zeke to drink? You knew Tris was at home."

"I already told her, Zeke and Shauna got in a fight he needed to forget about it so we went to the pit to drink a little. At least I wasn't sloppily drunk, I knew what the hell was going on around me."

"I'm not saying you were drunk." I snap back. "Is there something that Zeke said to you that made you question the babies?" I ask.

"Yes, Zeke who gets so wasted who falls over his own two feet told me to fear the babies and life so that's why Tris and I got in a fight." He replies sarcastically.

"Hey! I'm trying to help you figure this out. Tris is sick, she won't eat, she just sleeps all day and those babies aren't holding up to well. I checked them yesterday despite my checking a week ago and trust me when I tell you; one of them is slipping quickly. The stress is taking toll and it is hurting your children so why don't you help me figure this shit out so we won't have to lose these babies!" Sure maybe my eyes filled with tears and my bottom lip quivered when I yelled at him the last part but I can't stand it, these babies are dying and it's only been a week since the fight.

"Chris, I never wanted that. I never wanted any of this! I miss her I love her. God knows I need her!"

"Four I can't do all the fixing. You have to convince her." I say before turning back to the doors and walking into the cafeteria. Tris shakes her head to Uriah as he offers he some of his food and then places her half eaten roll back on Will's tray. The table looks sorrowfully at her, no one can be happy with her like this.

I head to the line up, looking at the various food options and finally catch sight of something that Tris might eat. Porridge, aka stiff food. When I walk back to the table and sit between Will and Tris she looks to me in confusion when I place the bowl in front of her.

"It's porridge, that's about as plain as you'll get here. Now eat some of it." I command, not leaving any room for argument. She takes the spoon and scopes a little into her mouth. It's obvious this is something she has to do instead of something she wants to but she's eating, that's all that truly matters at the moment.

It takes another 30 minutes until everyone has consumed their whole tray of food and Tris has eaten about ¾ of the porridge I brought her.

"Seriously Chris, I can't eat the rest of this." She says, placing the spoon down and pleading me to let her top.

"Tris-" I start but she stops me.

"I don't want anymore. I had some food, I'll take those nutrition pills you gave me. The babies will be fine."

"No!" I demand making everyone at our table stare at me in disbelief. "Tris those pills only do so much. You're eating half of what a woman in your condition should eat and you're not benefiting anyone."

"I said I was done. It's my choice what I do and don't do." She rises from the table and walks away quickly, dropping the silver bowl in the dishes box before exiting.

"Before any of you say that I shouldn't fight her you must all remember I'm a trained doctor and this isn't healthy. She and those babies are sick and I don't know how long they will last."

"No one is going to judge or blame you for what you said." Shauna assures me and I nod.

"Give her some time. She just needs to get her priorities straight at the moment and figure out what would be the best thing for herself and those kids." Lynn adds.

"Yeah but when? Her smallest baby is hardly breathing as it is. Tobias needs to talk to her now before she takes a turn for the worse."

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**-Valentina**


	10. Chapter 10- Fifteen Times Ten

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 10  
Fifteen Times Ten

_**Tobias's POV**_

I lost her, my Tris. The woman I was sure to marry and live with forever. I messed up, dear God I said awful things! Now she can't even look at me, I'm probably a monster in her eyes.

How long has it been? Nearly 2 weeks since our fight? I haven't seen her come into the cafeteria after Chris talked with me a week ago. Zeke says she's fine, just being a tad to lazy with the caring of herself and the twins. That can't be true though, Tris is far too stubborn to allow anything to happen with the babies or herself in general.

"You wanted to speak with me Four?" Max asks me, approaching the couch in his office in which I was sitting a little to straight.

"Max this is about initiation, the cuts to be more exact." I begin to say, his eyebrow cocking at the word 'cuts'. "I think we should revoke the rule Eric thought up of 3 years ago. Why must we remove these teenagers that have been brave all along?"

"Four your request to destroy the main rule we have been living off of and striving from for the last 3 years is rather astonishing. You know I have a feeling this has nothing to do with your wants at all."

"Tris isn't happy with the system and she has pointed out valid reasons as to why this is not helping us. For starters we are creating monsters. No one is born evil but once you threaten their future with someone else they will do anything and everything to beat them. We have more deaths then any other faction, mainly due to murder or suicide. If these kids have nothing to fear then they can learn to be braver and stronger as a team."

"But fear can create bravery in someone, have you forgotten that Four?"

"They need to fear themselves, not each other." I retort.

"How can someone fear themselves if there is nothing threatening their future?" Max asks quickly.

"They will fear their abilities, how they can become greater and stronger and prove themselves as great dauntless."

"The notion of cutting still stands. Besides Eric is leader along side me, unless you prove your case to him we will continue cuts." Max leaves me alone in his office and I think. How can I make Eric understand, he hates me anyways!  
With little confidence I rise to my feet and walk out of the office, my mind was set on one place. Find Eric and force him to change his mind.

~.~.~

Loud shotguns came from the training room, an inconsistent amount of hits and misses. Only Eric could have that sort of aim.

"Hold fire!" I demand, entering the room and raising my hand.

"What are you doing here Four?" Eric asks me, annoyed by my disturbing him.

"We need to talk!"

"About?" He snapped back, placing his gun down and rolling out his wrist.

"About initiation. I say we stop the cuts."

"And what thinks you have the authority to tell me what you think and don't think? I never asked for your opinion."

"Yes but I'm a stronger dauntless member then you will ever be and as much as you want to deny it my words are taken into more consideration then yours ever will."

"Four, just because you ranked higher then me during initiation does not mean that you have greater control then I do. I am a leader and you work in intelligence. So the answer is no! I will not change whatever you requested be done in initiation. All rules still apply." He sneers and then picks up his gun again.

"You shoot another bullet and I will break your nose. You're going to listen to me whether you like it or not." I stand in front of his gun, my eyes narrowing equally with his.

"Who has the loaded gun? You can break my nose but I will stop your heart. Now move Eaton, before I pull the trigger." He clicks the bullet into its chamber and smiles at me narcissistically.

"Oh so scared." I reply sarcastically, knocking the gun from his hand and kicking back to the door. "Now you will listen!" I demand grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling his face forward.

"Speak fast!" He spits at me and I tell him. I explain how cuts affect behavior and how it needs to stop. We need to work as a united group, not as individuals.

"Let me guess. Your little girlfriend Tris wanted this?"

"She was smart enough to figure out what will help improve Dauntless." I say defensively.

"She's weak, she feels sorry for the ones like her and wants what she didn't receive!"

"TRIS IS NOT WEAK!" I bark at him, twisting his collar tighter and pulling is face closer.

"You're right. She's a selfish bitch who wants to have more people like her. She will do and say anything to manipulate you into believing what is and isn't true. She has you on a leash Four, wake up a realize that the little girl card is a way to control you." Heat burned in me. My heart pounded and every part of my body tightened. No one can talk about my Tris like that; I don't care if she hates me right now. I still love her and Eric is crossing to many lines with that whole rant.

"Don't you ever say those things about my Tris again!" I whisper harshly before bringing my fist to his nose. There is a loud crunch and then he punches back, my jaw against his fist. I release his collar and he throws himself over the table, tackling me to the ground.

He sits on top of me, throwing a new punch where he hit me last. I smack his ear throwing him off balance and giving me enough time to turn us over and to have the better position. I elbow his temple and then hit at his neck. He coughs, gags and then pulls his knee back against my hip. I fall to my side, rising quickly and charging at Eric who has also gotten to his feet. I swipe his feet from under him but he kicks upwards, crashing his heel into my ribs. I kick his legs back, under his thigh and then step on his stomach.

"CONCEDE!" I shout, lifting my foot and then bringing it to his stomach.

"Never!" He spits, throwing blood onto my shoes. He grabs my ankle and twists it around, bringing me down on my back. He takes quick throws and splits my lip along with smashing my temple. "True Dauntless never ask for mercy!"

"Then what are you?" I ask, wrapping my arms around his ankles and standing up so he falls. "TRIS IS BRAVE!" I scream loudly, punching his nose again. "YOU ARE WEAK!" I throw another punch to his temple. "CHANGE THE RULES ERIC!" I demand, my fist hitting one of his teeth and splitting open my knuckle. "OR ELSE!" I finally knee his crotch and he screams to stop. He holds himself tightly and spits the mix of my blood and his blood out of his mouth.

"I'll change the rules!" He shouts over his heaving. "But you better watch your back Four."

"Change the rules now. Call Max and tell him to gather a group and go look for the initiates we have lost over the last 3 years." I poise a gun that I grabbed from the table over his body and he nods furiously. Quickly he pulls out a phone and claims that I have convinced him to change to rules. No more cuts. "Good. Now that we will have un-trained members back here in weeks time I need you to train them." I click the bullet into its chamber making Eric smirk.

"You won't shoot."

"Try me." I suggest, shooting his leg. The bullet skims his calf but he still cries out in pain.

"FINE! I'LL DO IT, I'LL TRAIN THEM!"

"Good." I sneer, placing the gun down and walking, well limping, to the door. "Nice talk Eric." I laugh making him cry foul words at me.

~.~.~

As I walk the adrenaline leaves my body and everything begins to ache. I begin to remember Tris and how she won't know about this until a week or two when we gather all the cut initiates.

"Four!?" A familiar voice shrieks behind me. I turn and see Chris, her eyes wild at the sight of my bloodied face.

"Hi Chris." I say glumly.

"What the hell happened?" She asks, taking my arm and using her hand to hold my face as she looks at the different gashes.

"I did it." I say with a small smile.

"Did what?" She asks nervously, dropping her hand and looking me dead in the eyes.

"I forced Eric to change the rules. No more cuts." I say triumphantly.

"By beating each other up!?" Her eyes grow wide.

"Yeah." I say, unsure if that was okay.

"Common, you need stitches on your hand. My God, half of your cheek is blue already."

"Nothing ice can't fix." I laugh making her roll her eyes.

"You're a huge idiot, you know that right?"

"It's come up every so often." I say casually, taking her offered arm as she helps me to the infirmary.

_**Chris's POV**_

After I stitch and ice Four's face and hands he heads home. I gather my things, and the medicine for Tris, just about to drop my shift on Darla, the girl who works over night, when I hear it. My phone buzzed violently, sounding louder then I could ever imagine. It could be my paranoid mind telling me it's loud because it's important. I pick it up and quickly glance at the caller ID. "Will" it read and then it all hits me. He never calls unless…

"What's wrong?!" I ask quickly, my heart beating at 100 beats a second.

"Tris! It's bad. Come quick." Will demands, hanging up and leaving me pale and shaking.

"Chris?" Darla asks me, her face concerned and eyebrows furrowed.

"Stay on call! Something happened to Tris and she needs help immediately. Get the other doctors." I demand, my legs already running for my apartment where I last left Tris under the care of our friends.

There's so many hallways in dauntless. To many to count, but enough to tell what great distance you've traveled underground. The last time I counted how many different hallways I take from work to my apartment, I came up with 15. Now it feels like 15 times a hundred. 1500 hallways later I made it to my door, but the doorknob jumped around, my hand never managed to close around it. Am I delusional? Have I gone crazy! No! I'm scared, Tris is in there. I'm out here. I'm scared of what I will find.

3 seconds and then I enter.

1….2….3….

The smell hits me first, intense vomit reeks through the whole apartment. The closet by the entrance is opened and there are towels that have flipped while the ones on top were taken away. The sweaters of Lynn, Will, Uriah, and Marlene lay scattered on the couch as usual.

"WHERE'S CHRIS!" Uriah screams from the bedroom and I snap back.

"I'm here! What's wrong?" I cry as I push open the bedroom door and walk to the bathroom where everyone is gathered.

"Chris help her!" Lynn cries out, tears staining her cheeks as her shaky finger points to Tris. There is vomit in the toilet, and around it on the floor. Tris has vomit in her pulled back hair and on her legs. Her nose is bleeding but not because someone hit it. More like a health reason.

The towels from the closet were in different places of the room. One was by the bed, probably where Tris threw up first. The next one was being soaked in the sink with warm water and the final one was still folded, sitting on the bathtub edge.

"Not hot water, cold." I say, flipping the tap onto the different temperature and soaking it entirely with the freezing liquid. "How long has she been vomiting?" I ask quickly, shutting off the tap and raining out the extra water from the towel.

"She stared 5 minutes before I called you. Maybe 10 minutes straight." Uriah answers. He's never this serious; it's surprising how situations change a person entirely. I nod and fall onto my knees by Tris, avoiding the pool of vomit purposely.

"Tris I need you to take deep breathes. If you hear me squeeze Will's hand once." Will takes Tris' hand and she squeezes.

"She hears you." Will says and I nod.

"Okay deep breathes, just calm yourself down." I say softly and she does, inhaling and exhaling slowly and strongly. "Good, that's a lot better. Uriah water please." I ask him, he hands it to me with a very shaky hand. "Drink a little, not to much now." I ease the glass to her lips and tilt it up so it flows into her mouth. She first spits the first sip of water into the toilet, which Will flushes and then she swallows the second.

"Okay keep calm, you're alright." I assure her, taking the wet towel I held and wiping her mouth and bloodied nose. The nosebleed continues for a few minutes, Tris leaning over the toilet when the sensation of vomiting grew to strong. After it stopped she coughed heavily, holding the towel to her mouth and then holding it away after she finished the coughing fit. Her eyes grew slightly when she saw the part of the towel she used to cough into. Blood stained it and a little alarm went off in my mind. Having a nosebleed and vomiting is common for pregnant women but coughing up blood isn't.

"Will, Uriah. Get her to the infirmary. Mar and Lynn, can you guys clean up in here a little?" I ask and they nod. I take the towel from the tub side and soak it under the tap it cold water once again. I bring it to Tris and wrap it around her stomach knowing the cooled feeling will calm the babies from the heat they've just been through.

"Careful, we don't want her to pass out." I say to Will and Uriah.

"Got it." They say in unison, picking Tris up together and placing her in Uriah's arms. Will cradled her head on Uriah's left side, holding it in place so she doesn't jostle around.

"Good, let's go." I say, leading them out the door and back to the infirmary.

~.~.~

It was hours of tests and questions but it came to the conclusion that Tris was stressed; her body needs a break but can't have one due to the twins. We put her on different machines, and medications. Her body works less since she's bed written until further notice. Now it's the waiting game, we now watch and see if she shuts down or wakes up inside. It can take weeks, maybe months, but we won't know of that for a while.

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**-Valentina **


	11. Chapter 11- He Fixed Me

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 11  
He Fixed Me

|1 MONTH LATER (5 months pregnant)|

_**Tris' POV**_

"Tris." I'm shaken awake by Will. Groggily, I look to him with my eyes only opening halfway. "I'm here to give you this pill, here let me help you up." He slid an arm around my shoulders and helped me to sit up against the headboard. "Alright easy now." He urges, releasing my back and sitting by my side. He placed the pill in my mouth and then brought the glass of water up to my lips, tilting it so it would flow into my mouth.

"Thank you." I croak after I down the pill and slide back down into the covers.

"No problem. Lynn will come back in a few hours to give you the next pill and watch over you but for now I'll be right outside if you need anything. Sleep well Tris." He places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it lightly before rising and heading for the door.

"Will?" I ask calling to him before he leaves.

"Yeah?" He turns around and looks at me with the light from the living room streaming in through the crack in the door and creating a line on his face.

"Did Chris say anything about me walking around? I mean these pills make me sleepy but I want to move around, even if it's only for 5 minutes." Chris was off in Erudite, restocking on some of the medicines they have and sneaking me a few for the babies to keep them alive.

"She'll be back tomorrow, I'm sure she could tell you then." He says, unsure if it was the right thing to say.

"Please Will. I'll stay close to the apartment, you can even come with me. Chris won't let me, I have to stay in bed until given permission to move again. I've eaten the food that has been forced upon me, I take those horrid pills that are the size of tennis balls. It's been a month, I'm tired but I need to use my feet!" I demand and he can tell I'm not kidding. He ponders over it, chewing his lower lip and deciding how much shit Chris will give him if I get hurt.

"Okay, once around the block of apartments, and then back to bed." He says, coming back to my side and helping slide the covers off. I was wearing a black pair of shorts and a dark read tank top that showed off my stomach. When I stood up and moved the feeling was odd. Of course I have had to walk to the bathroom and take a shower at some point, I did that yesterday and felt okay despite having to sit in the tub because standing made me feel dizzy.

"Here, the heating is down in the compound, it's sort of blizzard out there." He handed me his dark grey hoodie and I slipped it on gratefully. At the entrance of the apartment I slide on my convers and together, with some help from Will, we walk out the door. It's been a while since being out of that room and the smells hit me like a hurricane of excitement. It smells strong and free and it gives me energy to walk without help, without having to be connected to monitor to hear the babies or to make sure I'm alive as I sleep. It feels good and I haven't felt like this in over a month.

I'm greeted by people walking by, some I vaguely remember since the drugs kept swiping the least crucial parts of my memory, peoples names for instance if I've only talked to them once. However I say hello back and accept a hug or handshake without hesitation because I know these are good people.

"Hey, you seem strong enough to go a little further. Let's try the cafeteria maybe. I'm sure there is food you'd like." Will suggests and I nod in agreement. The longer we walk the better because the further I get from that apartment I've been stuck in forever, the better I feel. Upon entering the cafeteria I catch a glimpse of someone, it's hard to recognize the person but my stomach turns to stone at the quick flash of remembrance. It's the drugs, they're giving me images I don't want to see but in reality they don't always exist.

"Look," Will pointed to a table where few people sat, snacking on some of the food still available.

"Who are those guys?" I ask.

"Initiates who were let go from dauntless, all 3 years were called back. They're being trained and worked to be dauntless members." Will says, this brings a smile to my face.

"How? The rules…" I begin but Will laughs.

"Four wanted to fight for it, he forced Max that Eric was evil and awful and that those people were strong and with a little training could actually be great dauntless members. We got a total of 49 new dauntless members."

"Why would Tobias do that? He said it wouldn't work."

"He's been losing his mind over doing things he should've done when you and him were together. It took a lot of work but he did it, no more initiate cuts."

"I need to talk to him. Alone." I say. "Where would he be now?"

"It's almost 8pm, he'd probably be in your apartment… his apartment… the apartment."

"I have to go. Stall Lynn. Say I went for a shower or something." I demand, ready to walk away until Will grabbed the back of the hoodie.

"No, I promised a walk not a free adventure on your own. What if the medicine makes you sleepy again and no one finds you because you fell asleep somewhere?"

"I'll be fine. It's for 10 minutes. Please Will. Please!" I plead and he moans in annoyment.

"Fine." He groans and I thank him immensely before walking to the exit, smiling at Danny on the way out mouthing "See you later" before the doors shut.

~.~.~

Maybe it was sudden, I guess it needs to be discussed eventually but he did it. Tobias got Max to listen and I have to thank him. I knock lightly on the door, yes I did live there, and yes I still have a key and my things in there but I'm not barging in without him coming to me. Strong footsteps make it to the door and then I hear the familiar click of our-his three locks.

"What-!" He begins to say, snapping at me even though he doesn't know whom it is. "Tris." He says lightly, all his anger flushing from his face.

"Hi Tobias." I manage through my closed throat. It's awkward, I don't know what to say, he's not saying anything at all.

"Come in." He says quickly, stepping aside for me and shutting the door with less aggression compared to how he opened it. I smell him, despite our fight the smell still holds that strong love and safety factor and I want to keep breathing this forever.

"Will told me about the initiates." I say managing a smile.

"Yeah, it took a lot of convincing and arguing with Eric and Max but they agreed." He hesitates momentarily and then opens his mouth to say something. "I did it for you, I knew you wanted everyone to feel equal and safe. I realized that the first way to be brave is to feel safe and this is going to fix that."

"Good." I say, my smile falling slightly. "Is that new?" I ask him, pointing to the silver chain tucked into his shirt.

"No, well yeah. I don't really know." He scoffs to himself. "Here you should sit down." He takes my arm lightly and I feel it. That same spark I felt the first time he touched me, I wouldn't dare let him know that though.

"How are they? Your babies?" He asks me as we both sit on the couch.

"They're moving, especially when I sing. They also like Tori's voice." I smile, thinking about Tori taking her shift on watching over me and sitting beside me, telling the twins stories about how I do things as she placed her hand wherever a baby kicked.

Tobias looks to the floor and I see the instant stream of tears trickle down his cheek. I don't say anything, honestly I don't know what to say at all. Instead I take his hand and place it on my stomach, holding my hand over it as a soft song flows out of my mouth. One of the babies does a light thud against his palm making him laugh between the falling of his tears.

"I miss you guys." He whispers to my stomach while placing his other hand on the other half of my stomach. "God, I miss the three of you so much." He says, breaking down into a fury of sobs as he places his head on his palm. The babies kick lightly, the sound of crying probably confusing them.

"Tobias-" I start saying, my own tears falling. Before I say anything more he lifts his head lightly, still watching my stomach. His silver chain falls from his shirt and I see it. My diamond ring hanging there, shinning in the dim light of the living room.

"You kept it?" I ask him, taking the ring on my palm and looking at it with a smack of guilt.

"Yeah," He says, sitting up and wiping his cheeks with the back of his palms. "Tris, I'm an awful person who said terrible things that I meant nothing of! I want those babies, I want to be the person they call daddy and hold to when they're scared and share the most exciting things in their lives with. Please Tris, you don't have to forgive me, just let me know that I can be the daddy to them." He pleads and I wouldn't dare hesitate with my words.

"You're not an awful person. Never ever would I think of you like that."

"I just really want to know what you think."

"I think we were both caught up in the moment, angry with each other and pushing our anger into awful directions. See Tobias here's the thing we did wrong: Instead of taking the broken parts of our relationship and gluing them back together we simply brushed them under the rug and avoided each other. I hurt our babies mourning over our fight and now I want to fix it. All of it. I don't want you to hear a different voice singing in the shower every morning. I want to be the first thing you wake up to and the last thing you see before closing your eyes. I want to be the one who presses her nose into your cheek while you make us coffee in the morning. More than anything I want you and I to each hold a baby, to each comfort them and love them and teach them how to be the best we can both be. I want you Tobias." I say lightly, my tears furiously falling at the thought of him saying no.

"You mean that?" He asks me and I nod. "Do you think you can wear the ring again?" He asks me and once again I nod, my tears flowing at the same rate as his. "Okay." He smiles, reaching behind his neck and unclasping the necklace. The ring slips off the chain, which Tobias places on the coffee table. He stands up and takes my hand, pulling me to my feet next to him.

"Tris Prior," He begins, dropping to one knee and laughing slightly. "Will you marry me?" He asks and just like the first time, words were not fathomable so all I could do was nod and laugh and cry as he took my shaky hand and put the ring back on.

"I love you Tobias." I sob, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing his cheek with delight. He kisses my forehead, then the bridge of my nose, then the tip, and finally he presses his lips to mine. It felt like I have had all my breath taken from me. It was like breathing in a new life. I felt good again and he did that, it was Tobias that could fix me and he did. I was back home wrapped in his secure arms, kissing him for as long as we could, my fingers twirling the collar of his shirt. We broke apart at one point, an urge to kiss more tugging at my stomach but I hold back. Instead I run my fingers through his long hair that hasn't been cut short.

"Tobias, they're kicking again." I say, laughing at the light thuds. Our kissing seemed to excite them and now they are the doing somersaults in me.

"Does it hurt?" He asks me with his eyebrows furrowing.

"No, it just feels weird." I laugh again and curl against his chest.

"Are you sleepy?" He asks me, stroking my hair back while leaning against the armrest with me practically on top of him.

"No." I yawn, desperately trying to keep my eyes open.

"Sleep, it's fine. I'll protect you." He kisses my forehead and I allow my eyes to close, forgetting about the last month and thinking about now.

~.~.~

I knew I forgot something the instant a hand came crashing against the door.

"What's wrong?" Tobias asks me, sitting up with me still in his arms.

"Shit." I say softly, standing up on shaky feet and answering the door. Christina stood on the other side, her arms crossed and deep scowl fixed to stay.

"Tris Prior, what the actual fuck are you doing out of the apartment? You missed a whole night if nutrition pills and God knows what's going on with the babies. I mean look at you, you knees are practically shaking and you're undernourished. We have been searching for you all night!" She barges in and I shut the door allowing her to go on and on.

"Chris go easy." Tobias pleads, wrapping his arms under mine and easing me to the couch. He too saw my knees quivering from the dizziness.

"Stay out of this Four, this is practically your fault! You could have called or something while Tris slept."

"Chris, now is not the time." Tobias demands, rubbing my back and holding my wrist as if feeling my heartbeat.

"When then! The babies could be hurt and Tris knows so much better than to leave without informing someone! She promised Will 10 minutes and lookie here it's 5:30am and has been nearly 10 hours since we started looking. We knocked on your door 35 times and no one answered. Finally I had to take charge and nearly knock down that door until Tris, the person who is shaking like there's a fucking earth quake, answered the door-"

"CHRISTINA!" Tobias barks causing her stop talking. "She's weak, go get her some water and stop screaming at her!" Tobias demands. Chris looks frightened and runs to the kitchen opening a cabinet that contained the glasses.

"You okay?" He asks me. I want to say yes but now is not the time to lie. Instead I shake my head and breathe heavy breaths. "Alright just take deep breaths, focus on me and nothing else." He suggests and I do, trying to calm myself and ease the shaking.

"Here." Chris hands Tobias the water and he tilts it into my mouth. I gulp down a little and finally feel the shaking subside.

"There you go. Much better." Tobias says, handing the glass back to Chris and stroking my ponytail back.

"I'm sorry." I apologize, my throat opening up after a few minutes and allowing me to say those words.

"No, don't apologize." He says softly, kissing my cheek lightly and rubbing two fingers over where he kissed. "Just relax," He pulls me close to him, my head falling into his chest.

"Sorry for not calling Chris. I forgot to tell Tobias and the drugs made me sleepy. Please don't be mad." I beg, Tobias shushing me when I cough at the end.

"No don't worry. Sorry for freaking out, I was scared that something bad had happened to you." Chris sat by feet, which Tobias eased onto the couch a second ago.

"I'm fine, honest. I felt okay yesterday at least. Now I'm just dizzy." I say honestly another raspy cough working out of my throat.

"We should get you to the bed, I'll have Will help me bring the monitors and pills in 10 minutes. Tobias you tuck her in." Chris says and he doesn't hesitate. I'm wrapped up in his arms and lifted to our room, which stays just as neat as the rest of the house. He places me on his side while peeling the covers back on mine and then pulling me onto my side with a quick motion. He pulls the covers up to my neck and adjusts my pillow, placing his next to my arms.

"Tobias stay with me." I ask.

"Sure." He goes around to his side and crawls right up next to me wrapping his arms around my waist and cradling my stomach. "Are you still sleepy?" He asks me, I nod into his chest as a response. "Okay, rest. When Chris comes I'll make sure they don't wake you."

"Thanks Tobias." I whisper, the last thing I hear before dozing off is him saying an "I love you."

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	12. Chapter 12- Made to Near Perfection

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 12  
Made To Near Perfection

_**Tobias' POV**_

"Be gentle, I promised that we wouldn't wake her." I say to Chris and Lynn as they both try to remove Will's sweatshirt from her.

"We will, just help us out and maybe we can get this thing off her." Lynn whisper screams at me. I move them both aside and unzip the sweater, sliding it from under her and tossing it on the dresser.

"There." I say, stepping away so Chris can go back to doing what she was. She began to unwind a monitor, clipping two sliver tabs at the end and then lifting just a little of her shirt to see her abdomen. The tabs were stuck on and then Lynn helped roll Tris' shirt back down while Chris wrapped a Velcro strap around Tris' wrist. It was connected to a monitor that had green numbers. I think it was for her pulse.

"One last thing, don't worry she always sleeps through it." Chris assures me, taking a syringe and filling it with a clear vile of liquid. She took Tris' untouched but obviously prodded arm and slide the needle in, trying to keep it close to the group of needle scars. Tris flinches slightly but just as Chris promised, she didn't wake up.

"Chris when will she okay again?" I ask as we all sit in the kitchen.

"I don't know, maybe after the babies are born."

"Which will be?" I press on.

"Look her body isn't going to hold out long, naturally it should be for 9 months but she may be looking at the 7-8 month mark for the these two."

"But she's almost 6 months now, she hardly has a stomach. How on earth are those two babies going to be born in such a tiny form?"

"I really don't know Four. We'll pray that we can save them but there is only so much you can do about what's going on inside." Chris leans against her bar stool and runs a hand through her hair.

"Guys, is this us losing hope?" Lynn asks shakily. "Because if it is… We need to be strong for Tris. If we look scared then she will be too."

"I just wish she was okay again." I say with a puff of heavy air.

"Trust me, we all do." Chris says picking at the plate of cookies on the counter. A light moan came from our room and I jump.

"Is she okay?" I ask quickly, standing up straight again.

"She's fine, they're just nightmares. No one can ever seem to wake her up during one but that's normal. The injection I gave her can do that."

"I'm going to check on her." I say, walking to the bedroom and opening the door. She turns in her sleep, the wires restricting her movement but still allowing her to move her legs.

If she's dreaming then words won't pull her out, only touch. Carefully I get on my side, sliding my arms under he hips and pulling her close to my stomach. She trashes a little more and then stops, feeling my hands running up and down her stomach to ease the babies. All at once she relaxes and clamps a hand around mine. Her ring presses against my palm, her breathing lightens and she finally sleeps against me.

"I'll save you Tris." I say softly, kissing the back of her head. "I will always save you."

_**Tris' POV**_

I awaken in Tobias' arms, his mouth pressed against my head and hands wrapped around my stomach. As soon as I move slightly he's awaken, pulling back to allow me to flip over. Now we have my stomach in between us but he still manages to wrap his arms around my waist, resting both palms on my back.

"You sleep well?" He asks me, pecking my nose with his lips.

"Sort of," I admit, shrugging at the thought of my nightmare.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"Yeah." I nod and he holds me tighter.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He suggests.

"No, I can't remember it. That injection gives me so many nightmares that they start to become nothing in my mind. I can't remember anything at all."

"It's okay now right? You don't feel scared anymore?" He asks me.

"I'm perfect, your arms remind me of safety and waking up in them helps ease the dark images." I say making him laugh.  
"Good." He smirks, pressing his lips on mine and holding the back of my head.

"How long have we been asleep?" I ask as our lips brisk over each others.

"Let me check." He says, kissing me quickly once again and then flipping over to look at the digital clock. "4:30pm." He yawns, turning back to me.

"I should shower, maybe we can go for an early dinner." I suggest, sitting up just a tad to quickly for my hungry, dehydrated body.

"Woah, slow down." Tobias says obviously seeing my wobbly torso. "Let me help you." He says softly, lifting my shirt to remove the tabs and then unwrapping my velcro wrist strap. He gets up and walks to the machines, shutting each off as though he has done it a thousand times. "Alright slowly now." He says, taking both of my hands and easing me to my feet. He strips me of my shirt and shorts, doing the same with himself. He helps me to the bathroom where he flips on the shower and then removes our under clothes.

I haven't seen Tobias naked in a long time; his body is still chiseled and made to near perfection. His sides still have red burn marks from when his father hit him as a child and there is a light mark where he once had stitches on his upper arm because he and Zeke went a little crazy by the pit. But I love his imperfections, every part that seems unnatural makes him even more beautiful and here I stand, looking at this Godly figure while I'm naked and pale and rather underweight except for my 5-month stomach. Self-consciously I wrap my arms over my stomach but Tobias pushes them back to my sides.

"I like you like this." He says, leaning forward and kissing my 4 birds that lead to my heart. His is the closest to the destination as it represents Tobias' undying love. "Every part of you." He mumbles, kneeling down and kissing my stomach twice. Once for each baby.

"Now let's shower, then we can get you some food." He pulls me under the warm rain, shutting the glass door behind me but leaving a crack.

Tobias refuses to let me do anything; he thinks that even shampooing my hair will cause me to pass out. I allow him though; turning around so he can run his hands through my hair and lather it with the flower scented shampoo. He then helps rinse it out and then applies conditioner, brushing my wet hair under the water with a comb. He quickly washes out his hair using nice scented shampoo. I hand him the sponge, which he lathers in soap and then helps washes my body. He runs the sponge over my stomach for a lingering moment, smiling when one of the babies kicked.

"That's your daddy." I whisper softly, receiving another kick. Tobias laughs at this and then proceeds with showering, shutting the warm water after we are both soap free.

"Here." He says, handing me a big fluffy towel.

"Thank you." I say, wrapping it around my already shivering body and securing it on my chest. Tobias hangs his towel around his hips and then helps me from the bathroom, holding my hand securely and holding my back with tentative fingers.

"What do you want to wear?" He asks me, wrapping the third towel he was carrying around my shoulders.

"Anything's fine." I say giving a quick shake from the cold. How'd it get so cold anyways?

Tobias heads the dresser where he slides on a pair of his boxers, jeans, and then a black long sleeves.

"The heating is messed up in the compound and it's winter out there. We need to keep you warm." He insists beginning to dry my hair with his towel. Once I was nearly dry he helped slip on my underwear and then clipped the back of my bra for me. "These seem warm enough." He says out loud as he rummages through a sock drawer. When he returns to me there is a pair of his black sweat pants hanging on his shoulder and a dark red long sleeve like his on his arm. He drops all of the clothing and slides the warm socks onto my feet, they're a tad big but I think that's why he intended to grab his socks and not mine. I get the sweat pants and shirt on finally shedding of the towels.

"Okay stay here for a minute. I'm going to go and throw these in the dryer quickly." He heads out of the bedroom, returning not a minute later with my hairbrush at hand. He sits beside me and then pulls me onto his lap where he lightly brushes out my wet hair.

"Do you want a ponytail?" He asks when all the knots have been brushed through.

"Yes please." I say lightly, beginning to feel his hands drag my hair back into a ponytail.

"All good." He announces, snapping the black hair with its last ability and then standing up. "We should head out for dinner. Our friends might be there by now."

"Okay," I agree smiling up at him and taking his offered hand. We walk to the door and somehow, over my extra thick sock layer, I mange to squeeze of a pair of warm boots.

We walk to the cafeteria hand in hand, his pace working with mine despite being slow. Eventually we get to the giant doors and he pushes them open, allowing me to walk in first. Our table is where it usually is, our friends eating their dinner and laughing about something while Uriah pouts.

"Hey look who it is." Shauna announces, pointing to Tobias and I. She stands up and hugs me, walking back to the table with an arm around my waist.

"I'll go get you some food. What would you like?" Tobias asks once I am seated.

"Anything, I'll just make you eat the rest." I laugh at the thought and as he kisses my cheek, leaving my side and heading for the dinner line up.

"How are feeling?" Chris asks me, her spoon hanging mid air in her limp wrist, allowing the lentil soup drip off of it.

"I feel better, well not better but stronger. Tobias does that, he pushes me back up."

"We're glad that you two made up." Lynn says with a large smile.

"He helps you, it's evident to everyone." Marlene pipes up making me nod in absolute agreement.

"What happened to your wrist?" I ask Marlene, only now realizing the excessive cast that was covering it.

"Oh, Uriah sucks in bed!" She says at Uriah who leans away.

"Sorry if your wrists are weak, I wouldn't have pressed on it so hard if I'd had known. Besides, you're the one that kicked my in the groin when it happened."

"Ah correction!" Marlene snaps back. "You had both hands over my head and then, while making out, you pressed to hard. I heard a snap the pain was unbearable! I had to kick you in the groin as reaction." She says making him shake his head angrily.

"Whatever Mar. If you'd like to complain about me in bed go ahead!" Uriah rolled his eyes and turned his shoulder away slightly.

"Sure be mad at me, I'm the one who brought this upon us." Marlene laughs, running her fingers though Uriah's thick hair and kissing his neck.

"You know I never truly minded PDA, but seeing my brother…" Zeke gagged and went back to eating his food while everyone laughed.

It felt good, all of this. My friends finally back as one, my Tobias sitting with an arm around me and a sudden warmth building up in my stomach that is easing my babies. It all felt beautiful and I want it to stay.

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	13. Chapter 13- Are You Scared?

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 13  
Are You Scared?

|7 ½ months|

"What if they are both boys?" I ask Tobias as we each hold a bucket of paint and eye the wall in front of us.

"Then they will hate us forever." He jokes. "What's so bad with setting the two extra rooms up for two girls and two boys? You know if ones a girl she will sleep in the other room, if ones a boy he will here in a blue room."

"Tobias we can't separate them!" I demand. "Besides, it would be easier on me if they were together, then I can feed them without having to leave my new chair." I add, both of us looking to grey recliner with white trim.

"Still don't know how Zeke and Shauna fit that through the door." I nod in agreement before we both go back to eyeing the wall.

"Green?" He asks.

"It's like amity… I don't think it would work."

"So? Blue is Erudite but we can still use it for a boy?" He asks.

"It's a classic, blue for boys, pink for girls. Green is when you don't know." I say.

"But we don't know so…"

"So we can at least do something else." I supply making Tobias snicker.  
"How about a light grey?" He suggests, my head turning to look at him finally.

"Abnegation?" I ask.

"It's where you and I came from isn't it? Besides, it will be mellow, and the cribs will be nice against it since they are white."

"Okay." I smile. "Grey it is then."

"Good, now that that's decided lets get you to relax and I'll call over Zeke and Shauna."

"But Tobias…" I moan reluctantly as he walks me by my shoulders to the couch.  
"No buts, you need to relax and I'm not having you around any of that toxic stuff." He demands, sitting me down an reaching for the phone. He dials a number while I sit and pout up to him with my arms crossed. 'I love you' He mouths to me making me scowl. I give him the finger and he laughs, pressing it back down so I'm making a fist.

"Hey Zeke, do you and Shauna mind getting Will, Chris, Uriah, Lynn, and Marlene over here? We need extra hands to paint and Tris is so bored with me that she needs some girl friends to keep her entertained."

"I'm not bored!" I say loud enough for Zeke to hear. "You're just not letting me help at all!"

"Great thanks man. See you later." Tobias hangs up and places the phone back on the coffee table. "I would let you help but the fumes are strong. I'm just looking out for you." He places both of his arms on either side of me so that he is pressing up on the couch.

"Okay, sorry." I say cupping his cheek and kissing him. He leans forward so my head is tilted back and he is nearly pressed against me. I hold both sides of his face now, deepening our kiss and flattening further back on the couch. Our breathing heathens and I can feel his warm breath surrounding my mouth.

"We should." He breaths, not even finishing the statement.

"Few more minutes." I manage to say, breathing heavily into his mouth. I was taken by his mouth, being kept alive by every breath we began to share, but most importantly I was lost in time. God how I wish it lasted longer. I wish Tobias hadn't called Zeke, we would have lasted like this longer, enjoying each other's lips, holding each other closely and making use of what appreciation we have of each other's bodies.

"Cut the make out session already. She's pregnant, there's no going any further then that!" Shauna teases, Tobias and I stopping and looking to our group of friends.

"Well this is awkward." Tobias says, pushing up and fixing his freshly cut hair.

"Hi guys." I say sheepishly, my cheeks burning up as everyone laughs.

"That is what I call being hormonal." Chris jokes, sitting beside me and placing her hand on my stomach. "And how are my little hiccups?"

"Fine." I say smiling.

"Again why do all of you insist on calling them hiccups?" Tobias asks, subduing a laugh.

"Because of the ultra sound 2 weeks ago when they were having hiccups at the same time." Lynn says, sitting beside Chris and kicking her feet up on the coffee table.

"Okay, but when they are born why not try their real names?" Tobias suggests, walking towards the nursery and pushing Lynn's feet down along the way. She scowls at him but crosses her legs instead.

"So what should we do?" Shauna asks me, sitting on the single and relaxing against it.

"Tobias and I still need to buy sheets for the cribs. We can go buy them now." I suggest.

"What colour is the nursery going to be?" Lynn asks, leaning forward to look at me at me past Chris.

"Light grey, just to bring in a little of the past while decorating it."

"Classic Stiff." Chris jokes, standing up and offering me a hand. "Common, the boys will be busy for a good 3 hours."

"Alright just let me tell Tobias." I walk to the nursery and peek in to find the guys fighting over paintbrushes.

"Tobias?" I manage to call over the loud onversation.

"Yeah?" He asks, walking to me and holding my side.

"The girls and I are going to buy the crib sheets. We shouldn't be to long though. I love you." I kiss him warmly and then walk back to the girls. "All set." I announce as Chris takes my arm and practically drags me to the baby store.

~.~.~

"What colour are the cribs?" Marlene asks, sorting through a pile of yellow sheets.

"White and Tobias said he'd invite Jamie to paint something nice on the walls."

"Jamie the initate?" Lynn asks me.

"Yeah. She's really sweet if you get to know her and she is a great artist. My next tattoo is going to be a design that she made."

"Who did the ones that you and Tobias got on your wrists?" Lynn points to my left wrist.

"Tori did. Tobias and I wanted to get each others roman numerals tattoed on our left wrists."  
"That's nice." Chris smiles, looking at me with a mistivous smirk.

"Really or sarcastically?"

"Really Tris. I think it's a sweet idea." Chris assures me, going back to the group of blankets set on a table.

"Now I think this would be a nice match." Shauna says lifting up a white cover for the matress and then a vibrante blue.

"They're beautiful." I smile, taking them from her and admiring the colours. "Is there a second set?"

"Found one!" Marlene announced, handing me the second sheet and cover.

"Perfect. Let's go and buy these." I say with a large smile walking to the counter.

"These two please."

"Alright, that will be 20 points." She smiles, typing something on the computer. "Which name should I take it from?"

"Tris Prior."

"Alright Tris, type in your password on this keypad." She says handing me a clear pad with numbers and four available black boxes. I type in my four numbers, white dots fitting into the black dots. "Perfect, so that's 20 from you 1078."

"Thanks." I smile once more, taking the sheets that we packaged and walking to my friends. "All good, let's head back." I say, my hand absently falling to my side and lifting to my back where a burning pinch hit my side.

"Here let me take those." Marlene offers, taking the brown paper wrapped packages.

"Thanks." I say attempting to cover my discomfort.

"Okay?" Lynn asks as her hand falls on the small of my back. Well I'm busted.

"Yeah they just have the hiccups again." I say, that's partly true. The other part is that they're beating up each other and getting my side in the proess.

"Let's head home. Four needs to see these." Marlene finally says after everyonw gives me a doubtful glare.

"Good idea." Chris says, still eyeing my stomach but walking ahead.

~.~.~

The nursery was completed after 6 hours of fighting between the guys and the girls and I trying to dress the mattresses, which by the way is harder then perceived. Jamie finally came by after she finished her shift at the tattoo parlour and got the boys under her order, demanding the walls to be painted so she could get the design going. I showed her the sheets as requested and then she got to work, taking the wall as a giant canvas and painting away for a solid 2 hours.

It was a true masterpiece, simple yet mesmerizing. There were simple trees with blue birds either flying or sitting on the branches. The wall was stripped with different grey and a stripe of a matching blue that are the covers.

"Jamie it's beautiful!" I announce my eyes taking in the simple beauty which had enough colour to entertain the babies.

"Thank you all so much!" I say to everyone, wrapping my arm around the side of Tobias. He slung his arm over my shoulder and kissed the top of my head.

"Only the best for the little hiccups." Uriah laughs, sitting in the recliner.

"Great now Uriah ass is going to be imprinted on the seat." Shauna says in annoyed astonishment.

"Common Zeke, we should be heading home." Shauna urges, taking Zeke's arm and hugging me one last time. Everyone leaves after that leaving Tobias and I standing in the nursery.

"C'mere." Tobias whispers, pulling my hand towards the recliner and sitting down, pulling me to sit on his lap. "I've been meaning to ask you something. Something we have been avoiding but should really you know open up about."

"And that would be?" I ask, twisting one of his light curls at the end of his neck.

"Are you okay?" He finally asks after thinking over the question.

"Okay?" I ask as confusion writes over my face.

"With this, the babies." He runs a hand over my stomach and keeps it there, the babies calming down near that spot.

"Well we can't really undo anything." I say absently.

"I know but are you scared?"At this question I feel my defences cruble. All of these walls I've built around this everlasting fear has come crashing down and I know for sure I'm going to cry.

"I'm terrified." I whisper as my eyes well up with tears.

"I don't want to make you cry Tris, I never ever want to make any of this scarier then it already is. I just want to make sure that whatever fear grabs you I can somehow help you fight it off."

"I'm just scared that it's going to hurt. I can handle pain it's just every so often someone tells me that it's something you never forget and I'm not ready for that."

"That's okay, now all I need you to tell me is how I can help."

"I don't know Tobias," I choke out, rubbing my face into his shoulder.

"Well why don't I just promise you something?" He suggests, running his fingers through my light ponytail. I make a muffled sound to tell him I was listening.

"I promise you that I will hold your hand, I will do ANYTHING you ask but most importantly I will not lie to you. I won't say that I understand and that it could be worse. I will just be there for you, holding you when it hurts to much and doing everything in my ability to make you comfortable."

"Promise?" I ask shakily, looking up to him.

"I promise with every fiber of my being." He says as his thumb glides under my eye.

"Thank you Tobias." I whisper, kissing him for a wonderful moment.

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	14. Chapter 14- Two Thumping Heartbeats

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 14  
Two Thumping Heartbeats

I was 8 months… almost. Just a week away. My strength returned a few weeks ago and Chris was nearly certain that I would make it to at least 8 and half months. I began to believe it until I felt it.  
A warm flow, so warm I thought it was burning my thighs as I lay in bed with Tobias holding my hand. He turned during the night, separating his body from mine but still kept a hold to me.  
I didn't want to move, what if my moving hurt the babies? Instead I squeeze Tobias' hand.

"Tobias wake up!" I demand quietly, my voice pleading for him to do something since I'm too scared to. "Tobias please!"

"What?" He asks slowly, opening his eyes and seeing my tear filled ones. "Tris what's wrong?" He asks, releasing my hand and wiping my tears.

"The babies, I think they are coming. I don't know!"

"Okay, okay just calm down! We'll get you to Chris." Tobias sits up and turns on the lamp to look at me.

"Chris won't deliver the babies. I'm scared, it burns. What do I do?" I sob.

"Just relax. We can get you to the infirmary, come on I'll carry you." He urges, flipping my sheets off and tucking his arms under my legs and behind my shoulders. I'm lifted only to have Tobias make a sound that is between shock and absalout despair.

"What? What's wrong?" I ask him.

"Tris that wasn't your water." He says in a tight voice. I look to where I laid and feel my whole body go rigid. Blood drenched my sheets and when I look to my shorts they are darkened by the burning substance.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! You have to take me to Chris, maybe she can save them!" I sob loudly, shaking Tobias's arm slightly. "THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!" I scream loudly as my body trembles in his arms.

"I'll get you to Chris." He says in a monotone voice, obviously too shocked and frightened to bring anything out of his tone.

The whole way I sobbed, clinging to Tobias as the blood burnt my thighs. It was my fault, every last bit of this was my fault.

I put that alchol in my body the night the twins were conceved.

I was to drunk to ask Tobias about protection.

I got mad at him the one night he wanted to be free for a few hours.

I refused to eat for days after our fight.

I didn't give my babies what they needed because I was sad.

This is all my fault… I killed someone who wasn't even alive.

"Joshua call Chris! Tell her Tris is bleeding. get as many doctors over here! PLEASE SAVE MY BABIES!" Tobias screams to Joshua, a secretary that works the late night shifts. As if on cue he pressed a button and doctors came through the door, he dialed something on the infiramary phone and then helped with getting me ona bed.

"Okay we've got heavy blood lose, losing of consciousness, we need immediate checking over her babies, blood transfussions. Let's move people come on!" One of the doctors instruct, holding back Tobias who held to my hand for dear life. I continued to sob even when a mand in blue scrubs pulled my eyelids opened to see my eyes.

"Tris squeeze 's hand if you hear me." The same man asked and I did as commanded, squeezing the hand that has been slipped in mine.

"Okay good, let's get her into immediate surgery we must stop the bleeding."

"Where is ?" One of the doctors screams to Joshua.

"I called her, she'll be here soon." He said back as another set of doors opened and then I'm ushered into a small surgery room.

"Okay Tris I'm going to give you some pain medication something to numb your lower half but we can't put you under." said as he took my arm.

"No, it hurts. I want Tobias!" I plead, sobbing as a syringe is pushed into my left arm.

"He can't be in here right now, you're friend Chris will be here shortly to help though okay?"

"No, please I want him. I'm scared, I need Tobias." I continue to sob smoothing back my hair and saying that it will be okay. He goes to where they are preparing my blood transfusion.

"I'm here, what's the damage?" Chris says, entering swiftly with black a black doctors coat and clean gloves.

"Heavy bleeding caused from abdominal pressure, possible miscarriage, we might stil be able to save one of the babies." Chris looks to me with eyes full of sadness. Had she been here as support she would have cried with me but she has a doctor's mindset so instead she gives me a look of apology and then went straight for the ultrasound machine.

"Okay lets get the blood and IV going, Somone check if she is in early labour." Chris commanded, sitting beside me and taking my hand.

"Chris you have to save them." I choke out, her eyes welling up with tears like mine.

"I'm going to see what's going on okay?" She asks, her own voice constricted as she flips on the machine and releases my hand. She lifts my shirt to show my belly and applies the blue gel on my abdomen. I force myself to keep my eyes open despite the blood lose pushing me under.

_Stay awake! _I keep thinking. _Your babies are dead, and it's your fault! Sleep will ease the pain. _My other voice pressited. _Stay awake for them. The children that you so despertaly need to hope are alive._

Just as my eyes shut Chris pressed the monitor on the gel spreading it around until the sound of two heartbeats thumped through the room.

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	15. Chapter 15- The Nameless Ones

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 15  
The Nameless Ones

"Why isn't she awake?" Tobias' voice filled my head.

"Her body is tired, she lost a lot of blood. I won't be surprised if she slept through all of tomorrow as well." Chris answered, her chair skidding on the floor as though she was standing up.

"Come on, we haven't had any food all day. You've been up since 2am. Let's go get some food for a few minutes."

"I can't leave her." He insists.

"She won't go anywhere, I promise. You need to take care of yourself Four, let's go." She commands and then another chair is pushed back. 4 feet exit the room and I'm alone. The only sounds accompanying me is my heart monitor making a consistent _beep, beep, beep _and a light murmured sound of the ultrasound echoing not one but two heart beats. They're alive, my little angels are still inside me and have they're same light heartbeats.

I open my eyes slowly, the same dim light I like keeping the room with a lesser hospital feel. My body aches slightly as I push myself up to sitting position and look around myself. Just as suspected I was hooked up to various machines and could slowly feel the pain in my bottom half increase. My abdomen clenched and I could feel every pain in my stomach hold me in place as I groaned. If breathed through it, the contraction lasting for only a few seconds. When it passed I reached for my folder, which sat on my nightstand. I flipped it open and skimmed the information.

"bloodlose, suspected miscarriage." I read under my breathe. "triplets…" I finally come across the word. "third undeveloped fetus, 1 pound 2 ounces, possible male/ gender probably unknown. Birth: March 27th 2:47am/ Death: March 27th 2:48am"

I had three babies? Three little people that Tobias and I made. But one of them is dead, I killed one of them... My little boy, he didn't make it. It's all of my fault.

Everything I do from there I watch from outside my body. I force all myself to leave that retchet body that has cost the life of an unborn child. He breathed for a single minute and then his little lungs gave up. He was in pain for that single minute.

My body rises from the bed. _I can't feel anything anymore_. I reach for the medical scissors laying on the counter. _I need to get away from this person I once knew. _I walk to the bathroom and stand in front of the mirror , which my shoulders hardly show past. _Something needs to change, anything, just lose this person who killed your baby. _My hands run through my straight blonde hair. _Cut it. _I take the first strand closest to my face and snip the hair, leaving it just a little above my shoulders. _Perfect, more, it all has to go! _The next strand, it doesn't have to look good, just cut. _You don't know this Tris, she never existed._

_This Tris is gone forever, you must reposes her as a none murder. As someone who never harmed her babies. _

The rest of my blonde hair hits the tile floor of the infirmary bathroom. I place the sciessors on the sink edge and look at my hair. It's a short as Chris' now, cut poorly due to the medical sciessors lack of ability to cut through hair. My eyes well up with tears and fall slowly. I just keep looking at myself, at this new body I have reposesed. I don't want to remember what I have done but it haunts me like the ghost I was while watching this hair cutting unveil.

"Tris?" Tobias' voice comes into my mind again, his footsteps leading to where I stoof. He doesn't speak when he sees me. He just stands there and watches as my tears fall from my cheeks and land on my shirt.

"I killed him Tobias, I killed our son." I whisper finally, breaking our everlasting silence.

"No you didn't." He says in a whisper as his arms fall over my shoulders and hug me into him.

"Yes I did." I say with anger and sadness leaking from each word.

"He wasn't going to make it, he was an undeveloped fetus that was months behind the other two. He wouldn't be alive whether you gave birth at 9 months or not." He tries to convince me but I shake my head.

"What about the other two? I'm in early labour. What will happen to them now that they are less then 8 months and probably going to be born by tomorrow night?"

"They made it through those scary months while you were sick. What makes you think they can't do it now?" He asks me, I shrug as a response. I don't know what else to say, words aren't even fathomable at this point.

"Look at my hair." I finally laugh through the tears. "God I must look so stupid to you."

"You look beautiful, long or short hair." He says, running four fingers through my short hair.

"That's a lie." I insist, turning around ot see his face.

"Why would I lie to you?" He asks me as his lips connect with mine. "If we have a little girl, I want her to grow up exactly like you."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because you are brave, and loving, and one of the most amazing friends any girl, guy or fiancé could ask for." He says kissing me again.

"I can't wait for the day that I can be called ."

"It will be soon, I promise. Let's just get these little hiccups healthy and happy and then we can plan our weeding."

"Did you just call our babies hiccups Tobias?" I ask him, a smirk working onto my lips.

"That's what everyone calls them right?"

"Of course. Our little hiccups will be amazing people despite having no names."

"The nameless ones." Tobias jokes, making me laugh.

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**-Valentina**


	16. Chapter 16- A Mountain and Meadow

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 16  
A Mountain And Meadow

"Tobias." I whimper as I clutch his hand with such force that my knuckles turn white.

"I'm right here Tris, shh. I'm right beside you." He calms me, running his fingers through my hair over and over. The pain persists for nearly 2 minutes until it finally starts to release my weak body. "Do you want some water?" Tobias asks me after I've relaxed and breathed my exhaustion loudly.

"Yes please." I say with a tight voice. Tobias reached for the pitcher and glass by my bed returning to me with half a glass of water. I took a few gulps and then went back to my whimpering.

It hurt, all if it! These babies aren't willing to come into this world without a large appearance.

"Good news Tris, you are 8 centimeters dilated. The first baby needs to get you to 10 and then we can start pushing. You're doing wonderfully, just keep it up a little longer." Dr. Quin rubbed my ankle quickly, gave me a smile, and then left the room.

"See, you're almost there." Tobias smiles, my smile hardly convincing him that I'm trying. "Do you want to try walking again? That really moved things along before." He suggested.

"Sure, slowly though. Everything burns right now." I tell him. He agrees and eases me up to my feet, pulling my hands up and around his neck so we are facing each other. He steps backwards and I follow, our steps reenacting the ones of a toddler learning how to walk for the first time.

It doesn't take long for the next contraction to hit and for me to freeze, my head falling on Tobias' chest and body locking so it's only him holding me up.

"Shh, just breathe through it. You're doing so good." His hand begins rubbing my lower back and even though the pain is still there I find it calming and have the need for him to continue. "Does this help?" He asks into my hair as a moan of pain escapes me. I am physically unable to answer so I just nod into him and his hand continues the same motion.  
"You know you shouldn't hold in any pain. It'll only make it worse if you try to stay quiet. Besides its not like we're going to judge you." Chris walks away before I can reply and I moan louder, releasing every bit of pain. Finally the pain slides and Tobias pulls me forward once again.  
The sounds that find a way from my throat consist of moaning, groaning, and humming. It's almost like I'm singing under my breath and all anyone can hear is my tune but no words.  
"I don't want to do this." I whisper to Tobias as I clutch to him for dear life.  
"You're so close you can't give up now. The Tris I know wouldn't give up, not when she is so close to holding her precious little angels." He says close to my ear, rocking us lightly as I moan.

"It hurts though." I sob into his shirt. He doesn't respond, he only rubs my back a little more and then proceeds with the walking because my contraction passed. I'm glad he kept to his promise of not lying. He could've said something like "I know it does." But he doesn't know how it feels so he's sticking to what he vowed and is just trying to ease me through this labor.

How long have I been at it anyways? 14 hours? 16? I remember Chris said something along those lines but between this strenuous pain and constant urge to get rid of what's inside me, I have forgotten.

"Tris, we'd like to check you once more." Dr. Quin says, entering the room in some scrubs with Chris following him in an identical outfit.

"I thought you said you couldn't deliver babies." I said to Chris as Tobias led me to the bed.

"I can't deliver them yet but Dr. Pomel and I will each be taking a baby after they are born for cleaning and check ups. For now I'm support." She says, winking with a smirk and coming to my other side.

"Alright we have hit 9 centimeters. Tris, you will be hitting the final stage of birthing in a few moments. This is called transition. It is painful, and feels like a contraction that goes on for 10 or more minutes. This is basically going from 9 centimeters to 10 centimeters. Just breath through it, try not to push and then we can get those babies out. 17 hours of labor is a lot, I'm very proud of how well you are doing." He concludes with a toothy grin and stands up again, walking over to the small corner set up with two exam tables with bright lights over head. Chris follows and they begin to make the metal tables comfy. They add towels and 4 different sides so the babies won't fall. Different machines are started up and a new doctor walks in, I'm guessing she is Dr. Pomel.

"Hello Tris, I am Dr. Pomel. I will be assisting Dr. Draho with the care of your little babies." She gives me a sweet grin, which I attempt to return before a sudden pain hits me.

~.~.~

Transition sucks!

"Tobias!" I cry out in agony, gripping his arm and crying into his shoulder.

"I've got you." He eases, running his hand over my hair like before and trying to think of something to do. "Tris, sweetie I don't know what to do. How can I help you?" He pleads as I cry louder.

"Tell me a story!" I finally cry out with the knowledge that stories can take you away from any situation.

"Okay umm… I know." He declares, smiling quickly and then starting.

"There's a mountain, it's far away from here. Past the gate and the meadows and the oceans that surround us. Sometimes, if you're lucky, you can see it, just the peak of the mountain that glistens with snow in the winter and sprouts bright green in the summer. When I was a little boy I would climb to the top of the hub, despite hating the height I would stand there, the sun setting and showing me just a little bit of what that mountain is. It's glorious it's extraordinary. Just like the meadow, I think of you when I look back to that mountain. I think about how subtle, and hidden you are, thinking that no one should look at you. But I think everyone should look at you, everyone should see the person who's eyes aren't just icy blue but have grey tints in them. Who's hair doesn't just look like a bright sun but feels like silk. They should see the little scar of behind your ear that you got when you were 6 because you, being such a natural dauntless, choose to climb your house. Everyone should look at you and get a feeling of freedom, the same freedom I get when I dream about the meadow or the mountain or even your beautiful face." Tobias finishes, but no one speaks. No one dares to destroy the words that have brought me serenity and peace. Somehow I was taken away from everything, my heart being enveloped by his as he gave this story of beauty and what I am to him. My tears aren't pain they are happiness.

I'm happy I chose him and he chose me.

I'm happy that I get to kiss his lips and twirl his hair.

I know everything about him and he knows everything about me.

That's all we ever truly needed to be together, that we loved each other with such a passion everyone could notice it.

Tobias is mine, but that day on the Ferris wheel not 6 months ago has locked my heart to his.

"That's a good story." I say softly, holding his chin between my fingers and pulling him forward. "That was the greatest story ever told." I say before kissing him.

"I'm glad you liked it." He laughs, wrapping an arm over my shoulders and placing his other on my stomach.

"They are going to be our meadow and mountain." He says in a whisper. "Our very own meadow and mountain that no one can ever take away." He promises, kissing me behind my ear and then waiting for the doctor to say something.

"Well Tris, it's time to get this going. Let's meet your first baby." He smiles, looking to the clock and then to me. "This is on your own time. Push when you feel like you have to push. Don't over do it though, okay?"

"Okay." I say, grabbing Tobias' hand and looking to him.

"Let's do it." He says, kissing my temple and then clutching my hand as I pushed.

~.~.~

If this is what dying feels like then I'd rather be immortal!

"Good Tris, take deep breathes now." Dr. Quin recommends. I want to spit back a nasty comment but it seems like even making noise hurts too much. I push again, my knuckles turning white as I grip Tobias' red hand. I would feel bad if he wasn't such a strong guy.

"I can see the first baby's head. Come on 2 more pushes and then it's out."

I push again, tears escaping my eyes involuntarily as I groan in a not so pleasant way.

"Good one more." He urges, his tone bothering me slightly.

"You're almost there. One more for hiccup number 1. Just for our little angel." Tobias whispers in a softer tone to my ear. Of course he could tell using a mean tone bothered me.

I put all I had into this push, leaning forward just a little more and sobbing loudly when I felt release.

"It's a boy." Dr. Quin says brightly, holding up a blood-dripping baby who was no bigger then half of Tobias' forearm. "Date of Birth: March 29th 5:43pm. Dr. Pomel please take the baby for cleanup." Dr. Pomel does as instructed and takes my baby into her hands, smiling at that wailing baby.

"Alright Tris, just one more baby." I nod and begin to push, again tears falling without my own knowledge and sweat blotting on my forehead and neck. "Good, breathe." He said, Tobias began to dab my head with a wet washcloth from Chris.

"I'm sure it's a girl," Tobias whispers. I relax against his arm momentarily and manage to say, "You'd spoil her rotten."

"Okay Tris I can see the head." I took a deep inhale and pushed, giving it my very little energy and praying that the baby would come quickly.

"Few more." Dr. Quin pushed, Tobias whispering sweet nothings into my ear as I tried again.

I pushed for another 10 minutes at least until I began sobbing. My body not even willing to try anymore as Tobias held my shoulders.

"Why won't it come out!?" I cry, pain burning in my bottom half.

"Please Tris. One more push." Tobias pleads. "Do it for the sake of our meadow."

I nod, breathing in a sharp breathe and then pressing forward.

It was fast, a sudden release and then a light cheer from Dr. Quin.

"A girl, a tiny girl." He said with a smile holding her up. I looked for those 7 seconds, her little hands opening and closing as she wiggled in his hands.

"Dr. Draho." She was handed to Chris who had tears in her eyes.

"You did so well." Tobias said, his own tears soaking my hair as he kissed me repeatedly.

"Thank you." I say, grabbing the side of his face and kissing him with my last little bit of energy before slipping into a dark slumber.

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**-Valentina **


	17. Chapter 17- Red and Blond Hair

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 17  
Red and Blond Hair

When I awoken Tobias was sitting beside me, his arms cradling a small blue bundle with light blonde hair peaking through his hat.

"Hey." Tobias smiled, noticing I've awoken.

"Hi." I smile back, looking between Tobias and the baby. His expression is new, something that beams his proudness over what he made, his own little son.

"This is our son Tris." Tobias laughed, standing up and allowing me to sit up in bed. It hurt slightly but the pain slide away quickly.

"He weighs 5 pounds 8 ounces."

"He's so small." I comment when the bundle was placed into my arms. He scrunched his face slightly from the new arms he encountered, opening his squinty eyes to see me.

"Hi baby. It's me, it's your mommy." I say, admiring his grey eyes that hardly open. "That's how you open your eyes in the morning." I say to Tobias. "They don't widen until you've showered." I add.

"You should see our daughter." Tobias says.

"How is she?" I ask, suddenly realizing she wasn't in the room.

"Fine, it took a while to get her to cry but she did eventually. Right now she's getting fluid removed from her lungs. It's quick, nothing to fear really."

"How big is she?" I ask, a smile growing onto my lips.

"A solid 5 pounds, and she is just about as big as my hand." He holds up his hand, the size bigger then mine but small for a baby.

"I didn't really get a good look at her, she's been in and out for different preemie tests. All are negative so far."

"That's good. And he's healthy."

"Healthier then most babies born at this time." Tobias says, looking to the baby. "He needs a name."

"Yeah, what do you think?" I ask. "I mean you've been with him for a while."

"Well, there was this one name. It was my favorite fairy tail as a kid about a brave knight who didn't save a princess but instead saved his sister. His name was Damien."

"Damien? I like that. It suits him." I say smiling at my grey eyed baby. He slowly closed his squinted eyes once again and fell asleep within seconds. "How about Damien James Eaton?" I suggest after kissing his little nose.

"It's perfect," Tobias says without hesitation, kissing the top of my head and sitting on the bed beside me. We take turns admiring Damien, time dwelling on until Dr. Pomel comes into the room.

"Oh Tris, it's good to see you have awaken. Your daughter is doing fine, Dr. Draho is just running a blood sample and doing as heart scan so for the time being we should maybe learn how to feed these little ones." My hearts begins to race. Feeding them had never really you know… make an appearance in my thoughts. I knew they needed to be feed but the way it was to happen just didn't occur to me.

"Don't you worry one bit about it. Babies can either take a few seconds or a few hours to figure it out, there is no control we have over how they take it. All you can do is analyze the way you think they like best. Now Four if you could hold him for a minute, Tris lets get you seated just a little better." Dr. Pomel began to raise the bed slightly stopping it so I was at a 70 degree angle.

"Okay now this part is not that hard at all." She says, taking the baby and waiting for me to unbutton my gown. "Just hold him, coax him to latch on. If he sucks then he's got it but if he puts it out then try again. Sometimes they just don't know what to do with it." She says with a laugh, placing Damien in my arms and arranging his head close to his food source. I helped him latch on as instructed and waited for his response. He began to suck slowly, and then at a moderate pace, understanding that this is food and that this was the way to get it.

"Perfect! Okay Four if you could come with me over to that desk. We can get the birth certificate filled out for him and wait for your daughter to do her's." Tobias nodded to her request, sliding his arm from behind me and walking with Dr. Pomel to the desk and writing down something's on a piece of paper.

I feed Damien for a while longer until he let go and tried to go back to sleep.

"I think he's done." I speak up, shutting my gown and propping him up a little.

"Alright, well now daddy gets to help." Dr. Pomel chirps, leading Tobias back to the bed and draping a white cloth over his shoulder. "Support his bum and rub his back. He needs to release any gas that he got while drinking so burping him is the way to go. Forget to do this and they can get colic which is the stomach expanding and creating discomfort." Tobias places Damien over his shoulder and looks rather freaked out as he holds this tiny person. His hand rubs circles over Damien's back and within a minute he smiles, probably hearing the small burp of our son.

"Perfect, now he might need a diaper change in a few minutes but for now you to can relax until your daughter is done with her testing." Dr. Pomel flutters off and Tobias began to laugh.

"What's so funny?" I ask him as he tries to find composure.

"God, she's like an airy character from a fairy tail. It's so humorous!" He says, making me laugh as well.

"Don't be so mean Tobias." I scold despite my light laughter.

"Damien looks like you." Tobias recognizes after we both stop laughing. "Your pointed nose, thin lips, blonde hair, even the grey in your eyes matches his. The only thing from me is his squinting eyes from when he wakes up."

"He has your light amount of hair." I tease, stroking the little hair that covers my son's head.

"Funny." Tobias fake laughs making me snicker.

"I swear this kid acts nothing like you. You're so fussy he's so simple. I have a strong feeling our little girl and Damien are going to be polar opposites."

"You can count on it, the one thing I could tell was the amount of fussing she was doing while you slept and they checked her over in here."

"Well that's just great." I say with a laugh.

"Tris, Tobias." Chris walks into the room, a small pink bundle in her arms. "Guys, this is your little girl and I think she's been waiting for a while to meet you two." She says quietly, trying not to wake the sleeping babies. "Here little girl, lets see your daddy." She suggests, placing her in Tobias' arms and smiling at the image before her.

"Oh Tris look at her." Tobias says to me, holding the baby close to my sights and allowing me to see Tobias' mirroring image. She has his hooked nose, full bottom lip and spare upper lip. Her hair is thick with light curls and is a deep shade of red.

"She is most definitely your baby." Chris says, addressing how Tobias and her look alike.

"My God Tobias. Damien looks a little like me but this little girl right here is a spitting image of you." I say in astonishment, his smile growing as he stares intently at our daughter.

"Your turn to pick the name. I chose Damien, you chose her name now." He says, as I begin to ponder.

"Phoenix." I finally say, a smile edging my lips at how it would fit my daughter. "It's a bird, I remember them from when we were in school. The name sounds really… unique."

"I love it." Tobias grins, kissing the little girl on her forehead and rocking her back and forth. "Phoenix Emma Eaton." He concludes, choosing her middle name.

"Our perfect children." I beam, looking at Damien who's chest rises and falls at a slow, easy rate.

"We'll now's my time to be a doctor." Chris says in a disturbed way.

"What's wrong?" Tobias asks, his body going rigid.

"Damien has an undeveloped lung. It's like one of his is perfectly healthy but the other is almost none existent. We can arrange to get the lung out since it is of course with no use but we would have to wait until he was much older to give him a transplant. Having one lung as a baby can be challenging, feeding, sleep patterns, overall ability to gain proper oxygen are amongst that list. Now he won't die, his lung is strong on it's own and he can cope but what I'm concerned about is the future procedure. The oldest he must be is 5, we can slowly watch him progress and go from there."

"If he chose dauntless in the future, would he be able to keep up in initiation?" Tobias asks, all of my words managing to disappear from my tongue.

"Sure, if he has the energy and natural physic like you and Tris. He can lead a completely normal life, it really depends on the person."

"When would he have the lung removed?" I finally ask.

"Soon, we don't want him growing up and having the lung there to create habits. It gives him little air but the more he gets used to it, the harder it will be to deal the transition."

"Soon as in tomorrow, next week, next month?" I push for more, but my stomach feels like stone and all I want to do is keep my baby from being in pain.

"Whenever you guys want by the end of April." Chris sits by my feet and sympathizes me with her eyes. "It's scary and it's hard but he's fine, a healthy baby if you ask me."

"How about Phoenix?" I ask immediately after.

"Her immune system is weak, she'll be prone to getting colds and the flu. If you keep her under healthy habits, washing hands, eating right, stuff like that then she should be fine but she can get sick and it can get bad. Just take as much care of the two of them as you can."

"We will guard them with our lives." Tobias promises, Phoenix starting to whimper in his arms. "Now I think this is mommy's job." He says, addressing her hunger.

"So this can be yours." I say, smelling the stench of my son's diaper.

"Great." Tobias fake cheers, taking Damien and slipping Phoenix into my arms.

"They're really beautiful babies Tris." Chris says, looking to where Tobias was in case he needed help. "My hiccups look great." She laughs.

"Well hopefully the hiccups won't last to long." I laugh with her. Phoenix begins to fuss some more so I get her ready to feed. After fixing my top and getting her on I was just watching her contently fill up her hunger. Tobias made a retching sound and Chris went to his side, her noise sounding similar to his.

"God Tris! Great kid, but disgusting shit." Tobias says as he plugs his nose.

"See Phoenix that's daddy's job. He gets to do the dirty work while you and I can relax." I tell her, stroking her thick curls.

I wonder where she got the red from, Tobias has a dark shade of brown while I have blonde it makes no sense.

"All done?" I ask her when she unlatches and tries to sleep. I close my top and burp her quickly, looking back down at her now open eyes. They were wide, and a dark shade or blue with tints of icy blue like mine.

"Oh daddy is going to spoil you rotten with a face like that." I joke to her, kissing her forehead and waiting for my little angel to fall asleep.

"All done?" I ask Tobias as he comes back with Damien who is close to tears.

"Yup, but he is- oh there it is." Tobias says, Damien screeching loudly and flailing his arms and legs.

"Give him here." I say lightly, handing Phoenix to Chris and taking a very loud, and red Damien.

"Hey little man, you making a fuss now?" I ask him as he wails loudly.

"Uh Tris." Tobias suddenly worries, Phoenix squirming at the sound of her brother crying and beginning to follow in his lead. She starts with whimpers but soon is screaming louder then Damien.

"Damien shh, mommy's here!" I try urging but he keeps on wailing.

"Dear Lord." Tobias sighs, rocking phoenix with desperation to keep her quite.

"Hey Uncle Zeke has arrived!" Zeke declares loudly while entering the room with a trail of people behind him. "What the hell is going on!?" He cries, clamping his hands over his ears and cringing.

"They won't stop crying!" I say loud enough for our other friends.

"Maybe they're still traumatized from their birth. You know squeezing through a small-" Uriah can't even finish his sentence because Marlene smacked him upside the head.

"Shut up idiot!" She scolds as he rubs the back of his head.

"Umm guys, still screaming babies over here." Tobias says.

"Right let me at em'" Shauna says, scooping the small baby from Tobias and into her arms. "Hey, you must be the little sister Chris was talking about." She coos, running a finger over Phoenix's cheeks and kissing her forehead. "There you go, look at that." She laughs, watching as the baby calmed down and nuzzled closely to her arms.

"I wonder if it worked with me." Uriah smiles, walking to me and reaching for Damien who screeches at the new person trying to reach him.

"How about no?" Suggests Chris who pushes him back by the shoulders and returns to me.

"Tris you need to give me Damien so I can make sure he's okay." Chris suggests I hand him over without any hesitation. Chris stands quickly and walks over to the same examination table he laid on less then a day ago. His cries subdue a few minutes later and soon he is returned to Tobias who asks if everything was okay.

"Just some clogged fluids, nothing a little suction won't fix." She dismisses, running back Damien's blonde hair.

"So what are their names?" Lynn asks in a voice softer then her original as she runs her finger over Phoenix's hair.

"Well the boy is Damien, and the girl is Phoenix." I say, my words just showing how proud I am that those are my babies.

"And Phoenix has red hair?" Lynn smirks, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Hey I don't know where she got it from, it's a true mystery." I laugh. Tobias slid beside me on the bed so I could play with Damien's tiny toes. They are tiny, not even a full centimeter long. He also has very light skin compared to Phoenix who is darker like Tobias.

"So what can we do with the little hiccups?" Uriah asks, looking at the babies skeptically.

"Nothing much, they're babies, they won't be able to really do anything for another few months." Chris says, discouraging Uriah.

"Hey Mar." I call, receiving her attention immediately. "You live in the C apartments right?" I ask her.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Have you seen the initiate Jamie? She's a tattoo artist now."

"Oh yeah I know her. She lives next to me." She smiles.

"Great, when all of you guys head back do you mind sending her here? I promised to show her the babies after they were born."

"Sure thing, but only if I get to hold little Damien." She smirks, her arms stretching out to me as I hand her Damien. "Alright I promise to send her here." Marlene says once the baby is staring at her with intense eyes. Damien was interested in her braid and seemed to enjoy its vibrant ombre tips. Phoenix had opened her eyes and was furrowing her eyebrows at the sight of Lynn whose hair was shoulder length but shaved across the left side and Shauna whose eyebrow was pierced, and nose had a hoop through the center.

"I think she's scared." Will notes, looking to Phoenix with a laugh.

"She's dauntless, this is natural." Lynn snaps back.

"Fair enough." Will responds as he joins Marlene and Damien.

The room falls into an ominous silence, no one speaks, they just smile. Smiles so bright that you'd believe all could stay the same. That is until a little hiccup echoed in the room.

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**-Valentina**


	18. Chapter 18- The Freedom I Love

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 18  
The Freedom I Love

The babies came home after a week of staying at the infirmary. We had a set the date of Damien's lung removal for 3 weeks from now, Chris promised it wouldn't be dangerous, and hardly invasive since the lung was so small.

"Phoenix you have so much hair." I whisper to her as my hand ran the light baby shampoo through her red locks.

"Hey, I've got Damien dressed, should we finish up with Phoenix and head off to the cafeteria for some of our own lunch?" He asks at he rubs his hand over Damien's back.

"Sure, why don't you put Damien on his moon shaped pillow and set up a bag with like 2 diapers per baby and 4 bottles." I suggest, removing the plug from the drain and picking up Phoenix who instantly begins to whimper from the cold.

"The bottles are already made right? I just have to place them in a pot of boiling water?" He asks as Phoenix starts crying.

"Yup, just heat up the water on the stove and drop the bottles in. When they are done wrap a cloth over each and put them away in the bag." I instruct, finally placing Phoenix on the changing table and wrapping the pre-laid towel around her body.

"Alright, say bye to mommy. You are going to chill in the living room while I get your food ready." Tobias talks to Damien as he walked out of the room and I proceeded to dress Phoenix.

"You like being warm, don't you?" I ask her as she cuddles into the towel. "I can't believe you already have a cold." I exasperate as I wipe the runny nose Phoenix has been having. She made a light coughing noise and continued the gnawing of her knuckles. I wipe her hand away from her mouth and unwrap the towel, quickly wrapping a diaper on her bottom and applying some baby powder. I take the matching black jumper that Damien has and place it over her head, messing up her hair slightly. When I brush her hair out and put on some matching black socks Tobias is walking in and asking if we were ready.

"All done." I announce, handing him Phoenix. He extended his arms out and read the jumper, "Itty Bitty Dauntless." He read out loud, chuckling at the phrase. "Just like Damien."

"Correction, Damien's says Tenie Wenie Dauntless." I say kissing his cheek and leaving the room.

"Hey that wasn't much of a kiss." He says, turning me around and placing his lips on mine despite having a baby between us. I deepen the kiss, holding his collar and helping to support Phoenix who sleeps carelessly.

"Can't stay here forever." I chime, as we break apart.

"Fine," Tobias moans as he takes the diaper bag and heads for the door. I scoop up Damien and follow him.

We walk to the cafeteria, each holding a sleeping baby as they suck on a pacifier.

"I have an idea." Tobias speaks up after we stay in silence for a while.

"What would that idea be?" I ask as I snuggle into his arm.

You'd think I was crazy but instead of lunch let's head for the train tracks, we have the baby carriers in the bag and I've been waiting to show you something for a long time."

"Tobias how on earth are we going to get on and off a train with two babies?" I say, stopping in my tracks to eye him.

"We can do it, we cant be confined to the compound until they learn to do it on their own." He points out, taking my hand back in his and urging me down a different path. "Besides, they need air, real air."

"Okay, let's get them on now, make sure everything works. I'd rather not have a baby, especially ours, die because they fall off of a moving train."

"Fair enough." He says, pulling me off to the side and unzipping the diaper bag with one hand. He hands me a baby carrier and takes one himself, dropping the bag by his feet and starting to maneuver Phoniex into the black holder. I do the same with Damien and finally click the final buckle behind my back, his sleepy eyes looking up to me as though questioning what we were doing.

"You'll be fine." I whisper, pecking his forehead and sliding a black cap over it since we were heading outside.

"All set?" Tobias asks as he slings the diaper bag back on and supports Phoenix slightly.

"Yup. You sure this is safe?" I ask, my eyes flooding with concern and not so wonderful thoughts about the "what ifs?" in this situation.

"I would never put you or our babies in danger, this is something I've seen hundreds of dauntless mother's do. Besides the train stops where were going. All we have to do is jump on." He holds both of my cheeks and kisses me softly on the lips. "Do you trust me?" He asks as our breaths mix and heat my face.

"I trust you." I reply, taking his hand and walking with him to the train tracks. The late spring breeze hit us as we emerged from the compound; the babies suddenly were very intrigued by the new perspective of the colour surrounding them.

The train was heard by the rumbling on the tracks, Tobias looked to me suddenly.

"We only do this if you are willing to jump." He says as his hand tucks a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.

"You and I jump together, remember?" I say, giving him my bravest smile and running ahead as the train came with full speed towards us. Tobias jumped on the back, smacking the button on the side and climbing in.

"This is how things around here work Damien. You just have to be brave." I tell the startled baby. "I'll protect you though." I assure him as I grab the end car and step in. Tobias grabbed my hand and pulled me to him.

"That wasn't so bad." I laugh as I push back my crazy hair.

"Not at all." He agrees, pecking my forehead and pulling us against the wall of the cart.

~.~.~

We sat in silence for a whole 15 minutes, the train running over the tracks and the sound of our children breathing lulling us to an easy mind state.

By the time we came to a stop we were at the gate and a man with a gun and ammo strapped along his chest stood there waiting.

"Tobias." He said we a gleeful grunt.

"Bernard." Tobias smiled giving each other a tight handshake.

"The next load from Amity should be coming through in the next 5 minutes, you two can sneak through then. Remember keep low, stay hidden and have a good time. Also be back in less then 3 hours otherwise I'll go searching for you two and will be forced to report your disappearance." Tobias nodded and thanked Bernard before taking me towards the gate entrance. Just as told, a truck came through the gate allowing Tobias and I to slip out, we ran for a little and then walked, our hands intertwined and bodies only inches apart.

"This right here is our meadow, this is where we will claim the spot that Phoenix will one day run freely and be able to see her brother's mountain miles away." When I looked away from Tobias the scene in front of me was glorious. The soft grass blew high off the ground and tall trees scattered the forest edges. "This is they place you remind me off, this is the freedom that I've loved all along." He whispers, pulling me into the grass, which grazed my legs softly.

"It's extraordinary." I say in utter shock.

"Just like you." Tobias says, kissing my head.

"Our family is extraordinary." I say, taking his face in my hands and kissing him so deeply I felt like it was the first time my lips ever grazed his. When we pulled apart my head turned to look to the distance.

"The mountain that glistened with snow in the winter and blossomed with green in the summer. That is our Damien." I said.

"Our one and only." He clarified sitting in the field and taking Phoenix from her baby carrier. I did the same and laid back. My hair made a small main around my head and Damien slept on my stomach, mimicking the belly I once had there.

"Tobias I want our weeding to be here. I want our closest friends to sneak out with us and watch us exchange rings with one another."

"Me too." He says, taking my hand and grazing his fingers over my diamond ring. "We should do it tomorrow. Zeke could be our justice of the peace and we can invite all of our friends."

"I would love that." Is all I could say before closing my eyes and embracing the feel of the sun on my face and warm grass wrapping around my skin.

* * *

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**-Valentina **


	19. Chapter 19- We Will Be United As One

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 19  
We Will Be United As One

"Tris you don't even have a dress!" Exclaimed Chris who walked with the train of girls behind her and Phoenix in her arms. Tobias was with the other guys buying a tux and things for tomorrow while I was attempting to buy a dress for both Phoenix and I.

"What do you think we're doing here Chris?" I snicker at her, pulling the side of a dress to get a better look at it.

"Well you're doing it wrong!" She puffs in astonishment, handing Phoenix to Shauna and moving me aside from the dresses.

"Are we going for big and puffy or small and simple."

"Simple, it has to be easy enough for me to get on a train and to sneak past the gate."

"Well that really narrows it down to NOTHING!" She snaps back, ruffling the dress and moving to a new rack.

"She's crazy." Lynn mouths. I laugh and follow my persistent friend. No one disturbs Chris while she shops that would just be a death wish.

"Oh this is so cute!" Cried Shauna from the other end of the shop, holding up a white baby dress that seemed a little too big for Phoenix. "Come on Hiccup, your best girlfriend, Shauna is going to give you a whole new look." And with that Shauna whisked away my baby and I went back to watching Chris.

"Nope… nope… nope." She kept whispering under her breathe, turning every now and then to eye me. I started to believe she'd forgotten how I look and needed a reminder.

"Here we go." She finally smiled, holding a long white dress that seemed to hug your ribs and flow down your legs in lose silk waves. "This is the one for you Tris." She said in a very sure voice. I took the dress and eyed the look for a moment, then turned and headed off for a changing room where I heard a very chirpy Shauna talking to Phoenix on how to fit in well at Dauntless.

"She doesn't have enough hair to shave off the side Shauna." I say with a laugh, sliding my curtain shut and striping of my black skinny jeans (They fit as soon as the babies were born, who knew!) and red tank top. The dress stayed on it's hook, I didn't know if I wanted to put it on. My mind kept telling me that I should wear the one and only dress that is perfect. I don't want to try on a million different ones; I want to try on the one and only dress for me.

"Tris." Lynn calls from outside, I peek past the curtain, covering my body so only my head shows. "You don't like the dress, do you?"

"It's beautiful honest, I just don't want to try on a million different dresses, I want to put on the one and only dress I will wear in front of Tobias tomorrow."

"Thought so. Chris knew that, so she asked me to take that back and to give you this." Lynn handed me a dress with a similar design, flowing fabric and a soft touch. "She said something about it reminding you of Four." Lynn shrugs and walks away with the dress I handed back to her.

I slide the new dress on, the fabric lightly surrounding my body as I fix the top. I turn around to see myself in the mirror my heart stops. I wasn't sure how Chris thought Tobias would come to my mind when I saw the dress but her did. Maybe it was the simplicity, or the gentle touch. It could have also been the strength that surged through the fabric despite not being there at all.

This dress was made for me, it was made for Tobias and I.

"Tris, come on out we want to see it!" Squealed Marlene. I must've lost track of time admiring the dress because when I stepped out all of the girls were wearing knee height black dresses, Phoenix included.

"Dauntless enough for you Stiff?" Chris asks jokingly.

"You guys look amazing." I say with a laugh.

"You look even better! Oh just look at these two." Shauna walks Phoenix to my side and holds her up by my arm. "The perfect mommy and daughter." She concludes, kissing Phoenix's head and then handing her to me.

"Tobias is going to fall in love with you all over again when he sees you." Tori insists, playing the sides of her dress.

"So we buy these dresses and tomorrow the guys all head out to the location first, and we take the second train after them so then Tobias won't get to see you until you two say your vows." Lynn runs through the list, I nod along with all of the steps.

"Who's marrying us?" I ask abruptly.

"Zeke. He's done it before, it's all good." Shauna says.

"Good. Now let's buy these dresses, Phoenix seems to be missing Tobias." I say, addressing the whimpering baby.

"I'll change her!" Shauna declares excitedly, scooping the baby back into her arms and walking into her room before anyone can say otherwise.

"She's in love with that girl." Lynn whispers to me, I nod with a large smile.

"So much." I add when we hear Shauna whisper little jokes to Phoenix.

~.~.~

After we purchased the dresses we stopped by all of the apartments to leave our bags, hidden of course so the guys won't see them.

"I suggest we look for the guys and head off to the cafeteria for dinner." Lynn suggests as I quickly change Phoenix's diaper.

"Sure, just let me finish this little girl off." I say, strapping on a new diaper and clipping her jumper on from underneath. When she was happily sucking a pacifier I gave her to a very eager Shauna and quickly washed my hands.

"Dinner time." I say after turning the bathroom light off.

"Finally." Lynn says in desperation. We head out, and walk to the cafeteria.

"Tris, someone wants their mommy." Shauna says as Phoenix starts to cry.

"Hey baby, mommy's got you." I say in a comforting manner as I holding her close to my neck. "Mommy's here." I whisper as her whimpers subside.

~.~.~

"Well look who finally chose to join us." Zeke announces as we all sit down at our usual spots.

"How're my girls?" Tobias asks, wrapping his arm around my waist and sliding his tray with two plates of food on it to me.

"Where's Damien?" I ask, noticing we're missing a baby."

"Will wanted to try holding him." He answers, nodding to Chris and Will who coo at Damien.

"I missed you." I say, kissing Tobias under the ear. "So much." I add, kissing him on his earlobe.

"I will never leave you again." He assured, turning his face and connecting his lips to mine. I smile between our kiss, making Tobias snicker.

"Here eat, I already had some of my food." He urges the tray a little more and I look at the mash potatoes and roast beef.

"Thank you." I say, handing him Phoenix and taking my fork. The fact that I've missed lunch and ate only a piece of toast for breakfast I wasn't surprised to feel my stomach rumble.

I begin to fork mash potatoes into my mouth, hunger taking over everything I know. "Slow down there, you're going to swallow the fork." Tobias laughs, Phoenix sucking his finger intently.

"Sorry, I'm just so hungry." I exasperate, slowing my pace down and trying the roast beef.

~.~.~

That night Tobias and I stood side by side at our bed, each fitting a baby into their footie pajamas.

"Should I feed them once more before we put them in bed?" I ask, picking up Phoenix after buttoning the front of her pajamas.

"Sure, we can go to the living room so I can burp them after." Tobias suggests clipping the final button at the top of Damien.

"Who's hungry?" I ask Phoenix who looked to the fire light with a flicker of excitement. She seems to enjoy things that looked exciting or dangerous, Damien likes airy things with safety intended.

I plop myself next to the armrest, fixing my shirt so I can get Phoenix to eat.

She latches on immediately, her hand resting by my collarbone like always. When feeding she enjoys keeping her eyes closed the sensation probably lulling her to sleep.

Her hair messily sticks up in crazy curls. I love its vibrant colour, and the way that it is just like Tobias' when he grows it longer then usual. I can brush through it a thousand times and it will still stay messy.

"Is she asleep?" Tobias asked.

"No, just pretending" I say, laughing slightly.

We sit for a while longer, Phoenix falling asleep slowly and then releasing.

"Here she needs to be burped." I say, placing her in his free arm and taking Damien.

He takes longer to eat, becoming to pre-occupied with what surrounds him. He likes to look at the beauty marks on my arms and chest, his eyes sometimes catching mine as he gives a faint attempt to smile. His hand likes to hold my thumb as I hold him up.

"Should we use a little of that medicine Chris gave us for Phoenix?" Tobias asks, rubbing Phoenix's back as she has a small coughing fit.

"She said that we should only use it if she is throwing up." I say, eyeing the coughing baby.

"Hopefully she isn't like this tomorrow." He sighs, kissing her head and leaning against the armrest of the couch.

Damien finally unlatches and I burp him efficiently, rising from the couch and leading Tobias to the nursery. We place the babies into their appropriate cribs before shutting their doors and sighing in satisfaction at another easy bedtime.

"All good." Tobias whispers, taking my hand and leading me to our bedroom.

~.~.~

"Tomorrow you will be Mrs. Prior Eaton." He reminds me as I lay with my head on his chest.

"Tomorrow we will be united as one." I whisper, kissing his empty ring finger.

"We've been united since that moment you chose to take my hand out of the many others when you were in that net." He says, kissing the back of my head and pulling me towards him a little tighter.

* * *

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**-Valentina **


	20. Chapter 20- Silver Rings

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 20  
Silver Rings

"You know I never thought changing behind a tree could be suck a hassle." I laugh, emerging from behind the large Willow tree we each took turns behind.

"Better then getting on and off a train with them on." Chris supplies, holding Phoenix who looks up intently.

"Imagine how many problems we would've have." Tori exasperates, smoothening out the front of her dress.

"I'm so sure Chris would've been able to get on that train with her heels." Lynn comments making everyone laugh.

"Sorry if I've become accustomed to these bad boys." Chris kicks her toe up to show her black heel.

"Come one beauty queen, the bride needs to get married." Shauna says, taking Phoenix in a swift motion.

"Alright let's get going." I say, shoving the last bag in the hollow log and dusting off my white dress.

We walk as a group to the beginning of the meadow where in the fading light I can see the guys standing in a beaming way. Tobias has yet to look up.

_**Tobias' POV**_

I want to look up, I want to see where my Tris and daughter stand but I can't. I'm paralyzed looking at the ground. My mind is screaming that if I look they will disappear, I don't want to look until I'm sure my heart will guaranty she will stay.

"She looks great Tobias." Zeke whispers as he pats my shoulder. I smile at the thought of her face. Her icy blue eyes with tints of grey, her small nose and thin lips. The way her new blonde locks stop at her shoulders but still sway with every light step. She is a glorious goddess and I know that my life is devoted to her and our babies. My heart is locked in her's and it is safest where I've left it.

She's also compassionate, never once talking about the scars of my sides and lower back, which I'm not able to cover with tattoos. She does however appreciate them, kissing them and idling them like they make me better even though I felt worse with them.

She does small things that people never notice but I do. She taps her left foot when she is impatient and chews the inside of her mouth when she lies. Her body shakes when she is scared, her eyes can flood with tears as quick as she can get rid of them. My favourite habit is her singing, whenever she is happiest or just trying to make one of the twins smile her voice is all I allow myself to hear in our apartment.

_When you look up she will be standing there, your whole world will be standing there._

Listening to my head I look up and there is my beautiful Tris. Her smile is light and her hands hold the small bouquet of white flowers from the meadow. We stand in front of each other, my hand closing around her's as I feel the engagement ring I gave her.

"We are gathered here for the wedding of Tris Prior and Tobias Eaton. Is it cool if I use your real name?" Zeke asks me, I nod in response. I would say something but I'm to captivated by the beauty of Tris.

"Are you, Tris here of your own free will, and do you intend to marry Tobias Eaton?"

"I do." She says, her smile and overall look glowing in the sunlight.

"Are you, Tobias here of your own free will, and do you intend to marry Tris Prior?"

"I do." I say, giving Tris' hand a small squeeze.

"Alright you guys can tell each other whatever you want." Zeke offers, stepping back slightly and leaving me to the sight of Tris.

"Tobias, I knew you were mine from the start. When your hand grabbed mine it was instant electricity. When you lifted me from the net and I saw your eyes it was ultimate want. But the moment that I knew we were meant to be was the night that you climbed up that ferries wheel with me. I was breaking away from what I was supposed to do and you followed, saving me when I almost fell and questioning if I was even human. Maybe it was that sporadic action of mine that made you realize that I was more than a Stiff from Abnegation." This received a few laughs from everyone despite her eyes welling up with tears.

"I almost lost you, we were broken but you fixed us. You always fix us and you always know what to say. Sometimes I feel like you're the only thing keeping me together when I feel like falling apart.

So Tobias, today when we officially become one I want you to know that out of all the decisions I've made in my life, this was probably the best one." Tears were falling from both our eyes, words seemed almost unfathomable. But I still owed her a declaration of my love.

"Tris, my love. If words were comprehendible at the moment I would have flooded you with a million reasons why you are perfect but after what you said I seem to be speechless. Instead I'm going to tell you a story from a few days ago. To many it would slide away with ease but I think it should be kept alive because I know why I truly love you from this story.

I was 2 days after the twins came home, Phoenix caught a cold and she was screaming all night, remember?" She nod. "Well Damien was irritable as well from his sister and so you had me hold him in the living room while you stressed over Phoenix a 4am. I honestly thought we were going to die! The screaming and the coughing and just fear itself took over until you began to sing. It was so sweet the way your words flowed freely through the apartment. Phoenix became silent immediately, Damien was lulled to sleep. I was brought to tears. You Tris Prior show me different sides of myself I didn't know existed. You're the only you can make me cry in happiness instead of fear, you're the only who can draw a smile this bright from my lips. My heart feels empty without you and I know that today means I won't have to feel that ever again. I love you Tris, more than words can describe and I hope that you and I will live the best years of our lives together with our family."

We exchange rings, smiling at each other as our shaky hands try to put the silver rings on one another's left ring finger.

"I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Zeke declares loudly, my hands falling on Tris' cheeks as I pull her in for a kiss like no other. Her hands fall over mine and she cries as we kiss.

"I love you Tobias." She whispers when we pull away and my thumbs wipe under her eyes.

"I love you too Tris."I whisper, kissing her once more and then looking to our friends. They all have tears in their eyes and our babies smile their first real smiles. Tris takes Damien while I take Phoenix and together we stand as a family in our meadow under our willow tree, close to our mountain.

* * *

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**-Valentina **


	21. Chapter 21- You're Such a Good Mom

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 21  
You're Such A Good Mom

**_Tris' POV_**

I was whole again that night. I was deprived of Tobias' body for 9 months and it was magical feeling this way again. He seemed almost robotic to me when I first met him, but after being with him I feel like he is more human than anyone in the world.

We were a jungle of limbs afterwards, my face tucked by his neck as he rested his chin on my head. I would kiss the hollow of his neck every so often because sleep seemed almost impossible and I wanted to spend every waking minute admiring his body. My hand was tracing his abs while the other ran over the markings on his side. He seemed Godly, glistening beside me as his breathing tried to even out, I was in heaven.

After what felt like the most amazing moments of my life we fell asleep. My body was tucked into his sweet smelling chest, time stopped for what felt like forever.

But of course in the life of Tobias and Tris Eaton, nothing perfect lasts forever… we heard a loud cry from the nursery.

I shot up in bed, Tobias following quickly. I threw on my underwear and shorts along with Tobias' red shirt leaving the room as fast as possible. When we entered the nursery Damien was crying with such furiosity I thought the whole compound would hear him. I approached his crib side; looking quickly to find Phoenix staring at the ceiling with such fear her body shook.

"Buddy, what's the matter?" I ask, placing my hand on his stomach only to find it firmly swollen. I look to Tobias fearfully as my mind racks to figure out what Dr. Pomel told me the first time I breast-feed Damien.

_Be sure to burp them otherwise gas fills their stomachs and they can get colic._

COLIC! That's it.

"Tobias did you burp him after we feed him?" I ask quickly.

"No I thought you did." He says, picking up Phoenix who began to cry.

"Oh boy, we need to get a better handle on this!" I exasperate, picking up Damien and walking to the living room. I press the switch to start a fire and place him on his moon shaped pillow.

"Tobias go grab me his blanket." I say lightly, while lying next to Damien and running my hand over his stomach.

Tobias returns with the blue knit blanket. I take it as his hand falls over Phoenix's ear to block out the sound.

"Can you take her to our room? Try to put her back to bed and slip her on top of the covers with her moon pillow around her." I suggest scooting the moon pillow towards him and going back to rubbing Damien's stomach.

"Okay, do you need anything?" He asks while scooping up the pillow.

"No, just try to put her bed, and get some sleep yourself. You have to go back to the control room in the morning anyways. Don't worry about me, I'll take care of Damien." I shoo him off and he walks into our room quickly, shutting the door and calming Phoenix immediately.

"Shh Damien. It's all right mommy's right here. Your tummy hurts, I know baby." My voice soothes him as his continues thrashing his arms and legs. I proceed to whisper sweet nothings and run my hand over his stomach for the next 6 hours straight. Soon enough his eyes become droopy and despite his stomach still being swollen his sobs subside and he is whimpering in a light sleep.

I don't stop my hand however, I know it's keeping him asleep.

My eyes feel heavy, my head in spinning slightly but I will not sleep until Damien's stomach has become soft once again and he is sleeping without pain.

My hand reaches to his forehead momentarily, touching both his cheeks in case he has fever like Phoenix. It stayed cool though, just as I had hoped and I return to rubbing his stomach. From outside I begin to hear the first people leave their apartments indicating the start of a new day.

When I watch Damien in the firelight a pang of remembrance hits.

The day my mom fell and broke her wrist I cried, it was supposedly selfish of me since I wasn't the injured person but I was young and fearful. That night while dad was still out working mom sat on the couch with me. The both of us watched the fire as she stroked my blonde hair with good her hand and whispered sweet words. She was different from other Abnegation mother's. She wasn't someone who abolished Caleb or I when we did something a little selfish like cry when it was someone else's pain or pout when someone got something we didn't. Instead she told us how emotion is something incomparable and even though we live under certain faction rules it's okay to feel certain ways. She told us the proper way to act though, adjusting our ways so we'd be better children. Caleb learned quickly, I've always been stubborn.

"Tris?" Tobias whispers as our room door creaks open. He approaches me with a blanket and pillow, placing the pillow under my head and tossing the blanket over Damien and I.

"Thank you." I whisper sleepily. He strokes back my hair and kisses me on the lips.

"I'm going to take Phoenix to Shauna and Zeke. They can babysit for us." He assures.

"Okay, there's some milk in the fridge, tell them how to prepare it and remind them to burp her. I'll probably pick her up at lunch time."

"Zeke and Shauna said they will be back from work at 12pm . I'll keep Phoenix for the time being at the control room. Max said she can stay all day but I think it may get a little difficult juggling work and a baby." He says.

"I'll see how Damien does then." I say thoughtfully, Tobias nodding.

"You're such a good mom." He comments, kissing me once again and then standing up. I watch him walk to the bedroom and hear the tap of the shower turn on. The sound of water against the shower floor echo's lightly for 5 minutes before Tobias shuts it off. The drawers creak open and shut with a little _click. _

When he emerges from the room he is dressed in jeans and a black shirt, his arms cradling a still sleeping Phoenix. He walks to the nursery and begins to pack a baby bag. I can see him go from one side of the room to the next through the crack in the door. Phoenix is changed into a footie outfit and then placed into a carrier that Tobias straps to his chest.

"All ready." Tobias whispers to Phoenix, crouching to grab the diaper bag he packed and heading to my side again.

"Call me if you need anything!" He demands, placing a kiss by my ear and then on my lips.

"Okay, love you." I whisper, kissing Phoenix's head and then allowing them to stand up.

"Love you too."

And with those words he left, Damien continuing the light whimpering in his sleep as his stomach staying rock hard.

~.~.~

My eyes feel heavier, as the hours go by. I need sleep, coffee, a shower! Something that can wake me up just a little bit more then I am right now.

Damien's earsplitting cries start again, his face turning red faster then I thought and his little fists flailing in agony. I get to my feet and pick him up, my hand still rubbing his tummy.

I don't know what to do, I'm alone, and it's only 7am. Tobias is at work and the only way I can call him is by lunchtime. Until then I'm stuck trying to calm down my baby.

"Do you want a bath? Is that what you need? Maybe water will help you fix your tummy ache." I sooth him quickly and carry him to the bathroom. I flip the tap of the shower on and wait for a small amount of water to flood the bottom. I place Damien on the small changing table we built in as he continues his angry kicking while rocking back and forth, the small fences around the sides keeping him from falling out. While his cries persist I grab the baby shampoo and soap from under the table and place them by the tub.

"It's okay, you'll be fine." I promise him, removing his pajamas and still clean diaper. He was never the kind of baby to soil himself at night.

I lift him from the table and place him in the tub, the warm water stopping his crying almost immediately.

"You see it's not so bad." I whisper, scooping water with a cup and lightly splashing his stomach. His eyes go back to closing so I continue with my splashing.

The water stays warm for a good 10 minutes before I feel it cool slightly. His hair gets a quick washing and rinse before I run a hand over his slick stomach to find it has become softer. It isn't completely normal but it's loosening up.

I unclog the drain and take Damien for a quick dry and change into new pajamas. Too cold and tired to do anything else I take him back to the living room and place him on his pillow. My head lays on the one Tobias brought me and with a few rubs of Damien's tummy I'm out like a light.

_**Tobias' POV**_

I handed Phoenix off to Shauna and Zeke at the beginning of lunch, excusing myself so I could go and check on Tris and Damien. I felt awful leaving her especially since she's been up all night but I was requested to start work again today and I need to keep this job to provide for the family.

I shove my hand into my right pocket extracting the apartment key, which I push into the lock and open the door with. When I enter the whole room is silent, I drop my keys with a _clink _on the entrance table and head over to the living room. The fire is a light yellow; Tris must've changed the temperature to keep Damien from over heating.

They were both sleeping, Damien actually snoring instead of whimpering. I reconsider waking up Tris, I know she hardly slept last night due to her soothing Damien. But concern gets the better of me so I crouch down beside her body and stroke back her short hair.

Her eyes flutter open to reveal her red eyes.

"Hey sweetheart, I know you're tired but I was wondering if you wanted anything. I can go and get you some food or make you something to drink."

"I'm just really not feeling to good. Do you mind taking Damien to his crib while I go to our bed? His stomach seems fine now."

"Okay," I nod, taking Damien and placing him in his crib with his blanket back on the end like Phoenix's.

Back in the living room Tris is sitting up, her hands are rubbing her tired face before she gives off a very heavy cough. It seemed to have shocked her as much as it did me because she placed a hand over her chest as though it hurt a lot.

"Tris," I say with concern as I rush to her side and place my hand over her forehead and cheeks.

"I'm fine." She decides, pushing my hand back and trying to stand up. I look at her in dismay as she sways all the way to our room. Her body gives way when the bed is close enough and with her little energy she covers herself with the blankets.

"Tris," I say again, not caring that she pushed my concern away last time. I sit on my side of the bed and run a careful hand through her hair. "Honey I know something is wrong." I test, trying to make her confess how she is feeling.

"I'm just really tired Tobias. If you can just let me sleep that'd be great. I'll see you after your shift is over. Bring Phoenix home as well, Damien is okay now." Her voice is raspy and it seems to pain her to speak.

"I don't want to leave you because I know you're getting sick." I demand.

"Tobias, please!" She begs, flipping over and pulling the blankets tighter around herself.

"Okay, call me if you need me here though." I say, kissing the back of her head and getting to my feet. She says nothing so I head out the door saying a quick, "I love you."

~.~.~

I watch the many screens in the control room. A few surround the pit and chasm, others stay in the cafeteria and hallways of the compound.

"How's Tris?" Danny, the past initiate who was cut from Dauntless but was brought back upon my request, asks.

"Damien had colic last night, she stayed with him the whole time. By lunch time he was better I guess so she's finally getting some sleep."

"My little brother used to get colic a lot, he'd cry all night so my mom had to stay with him. If it happens again try heating up warm water with honey and mint. It's a light tea that helps sooth stomachs. Cured his colic in less time."

"Thanks Danny." I smile at her quickly and then look back to the screen.

In the cafeteria Drew, Molly, and Peter sat at a table. Their ugly faces kept contorting with laughter and as much as I'd like not to know what's it's about part of me knows that it isn't funny to anyone else but them.

At the pit Myra and Edward sit together by the railing while Shauna and Chris play with Phoenix. They promised to stay in view of a camera so I can see my little girl.

"That's Phoenix isn't it?" Danny asks, transfixed by the screen showing my little baby.

"Yeah, here I have pictures." I say, digging into my pocket and pulling out my phone. I unclip the back of my case and pull out two small pictures. One is of Damien holding the finger of Tris. The other one is of Phoenix hugging her black bear and sleeping as usual.

"They're beautiful." She comments, smiling at the two small pictures.

"Thanks." I say, tucking the pictures away and going back to watching the compound.

I began to notice the excessive fanning of hands from people trying to cool off.

"Danny, turn up the air conditioning." I say, she does as told and people begin to relax in the pit.

"Much better." She laughs, leaning back in her chair and changing the music that plays in the compound.

The day stays like this until Max comes in to tell us our shift is over.

~.~.~

"So where are you off to?" Danny asks as I punch in the code to my locker door.

"I'm going to get some food for Tris and pick up Phoenix in the cafeteria."

"Alright, see you tomorrow." She gives off one more smile and then heads out the door, I follow her once my walkie talkie and control key are tucked in the small locker.

In the cafeteria I stand in line and request for the food to be for me to take home.

"Hey Four." Lynn calls from our usual table, everyone is there except for Tris.

"Hi guys." I say, walking over to them with a brown bag full of food.

"Where's Tris?" Chris asks with her eyebrows furrowed.

"At home with Damien, I supposed Shauna told you all about his colic. She was up all night. I'm just getting food and picking up Phoe." I say gesturing to the baby in Uriah's arms as he awkwardly tries to hold her with Marlene's assistance.

"Take her, she's too tiny I think I might break her!" Uriah exasperates. I take Phoenix who begins to squeal with happiness. I kiss her nose and wipe the drool that leaks from the edge of her lip.

"Thank you so much for taking care of her." I say to everyone, giving one last smile and then leaving for my apartment.

~.~.~

Upon entering I can hear the heavy cough I heard after tucking Damien into his crib.

The sound carried all the way from our bedroom so I quickly deposit the bag of food on the counter and then Phoenix on her moon pillow by the yellow firelight.

"Tris?" I whisper as I open the room door.

"What do you want Tobias?" Her tone is scratchy and rather hostile.

"I want to check on you, please don't be mad at me." I beg, running a careful hand over her arm. She turns away and coughs a very chesty cough.

"I'm fine, just feed the babies with formula and burp them please." I would fight her until she gives up and admits she's sick but I'd rather not anger her even more.

"Fine, I'll be in the living room. I brought some food back from the cafeteria for us incase you're hungry." I kiss her boiling forehead and leave the room with quite footsteps.


	22. Chapter 22- Hold Me Closer

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 22  
Hold Me Closer

Damien was refusing the bottle; I guess he hates not having Tris. All he could do was turn his head back and forth and whimper when the bottle tip got close to his lips.

"Come on Damien, you've got to eat." I stress, tapping his bottom lip with the bottle.

"Look it tastes fine!" I promise him, taking a sip of the warm milk. I never knew formula tasted this bad! I force down the gross milk and fake a smile. "See." I slur slightly, the gross liquid mixing poorly in my stomach.

He must be a smart baby because he knew very well that I did not enjoy his food but he must have also been a very sympathetic baby because he took the bottle and began to down the liquid.

As the light sound of suckling surrounded me I heard the bedroom door click open. Tris had herself wrapped in a blanket and she had a rather green shade to her face.

"Hi," I say as she approaches the brown bag on the counter. "The food might still be warm." I say with a weak smile.

"Thanks." She croaks, peaking into the bag and pulling out the brown box full of fries.

I watch as she eats about 10 fries and then clutch her stomach in pain.

Shakily she places the box back in the bag and walks back to our room. I burp Damien and then scoop up Phoenix with my free arm. Both babies fall asleep instantly, which is amazing to me.

"Sleep tight hiccups." I whisper before I shut their door.

_**Tris' POV**_

I had a migraine; going to get those fries wasn't helping me at all. Not only did the firelight make my eyes burn but the fries are making my stomach do summersaults.

I can't even admit to Tobias that I'm sick because I know the babies need more care than I do.

"They're asleep." Tobias' voice rings through my ears as the stream of light from the door burn through my brain. I don't reply because everything hurts so I just turn away from him and pull the covers over my head.

"Honey you need to let me help you." He finally says, sitting behind my back and running gentle fingers over my spine. My throat feels so dry that all I can manage is another heavy cough.

"Have you showered at all today?" He asks me, I shake my head. "Okay why don't we try that, maybe the water will help you." He eases my covers off of me and scoops me up. I don't want to shower but I guess I do need one.

"Here, I'll fill up the tub and get you some medicine." He places me on the toilet like a child and flips on the tap, plugging the drain so water builds up.

I guess it was the mix of lighting and my uneasy stomach that pushed me over the edge. I stood up swiftly and pushed the toilet seat up, falling by the brim and throwing up the fries I ate not 20 minutes ago.

Tobias' hand pulls back my hair and he runs a hand over my back. I think I began to cry because my hot cheeks began to cool down with a stream of liquid.

"Just get it all out." He encourages, his voice soothing my tense body.

I vomit for another 10 minutes until sitting back and crying a little harder.

Tobias flushes the toilet and turns off the bathtub, soaking a towel under the tap before going next to my shaking body.

"Are you going to let me help you now?" He asks me as the towel wipes under my eyes and around my mouth.

"Yeah." I nod reluctantly, sipping the water Tobias handed me. I took the pile he was offering me and began to feel my stomach settle again.

"We should get you cleaned up a little." He suggests, throwing the towel in the sink and helping me to my feet. I'm to tired now so he does everything for me, from removing my clothing to placing me in the tub.

"Close your eyes." He instructs, dumping a cup of water over my hair and starting to lather it in shampoo. He rinses again and then conditions.

Soon I'm being wrapped in a giant towel and carried back to our room. He helps me dry and dress in a big shirt of his.

"Tomorrow you should feel a little better." He promises, tucking me into our bed again and kissing my forehead.

"Why did you do this?" I ask him sleepily as his fingers comb through my wet hair.

"Because we promised to take care of each other." He answers simply.

"But I was being mean to you." I say, remembering how I would snap at him.

"You just didn't want to draw the attention away from the babies."

"I'm sorry for being mean though." I cough again and settle back next to Tobias' thigh.

"You can never be mean, just brave." He places a gentle kiss on my forehead and is about to rise until I grab his hand.

"Stay?" I ask him with a tremor in my voice.

"Always." He promises, moving me up a little and placing me right next to his side once again. I indulge in his smell as he wraps his warm arms around my freezing body. "You're shaking like a leaf."

"Then you have to hold me closer." I say, his grip tightening.

"I love you." He whispers, kissing my forehead.

"I love you too." I say back, kissing the hollow under his neck.

|3 Weeks Later|

I clutched Damien close to my chest, my hands refusing to release him as Tobias and I walked to the infirmary. Today is the day of his lung removal and I haven't slept at all. My heart was pounding, I was about to release my baby to some doctors so they can cut him open for crying out loud! He's going to be in pain, I'm allowing him to be in pain. I must be an awful mother.

"Tris, you need to hand Damien over to Chris." Tobias draws me from my daze.

"He's going to cry." I argue, holding him closer.

"It's just for a quick checkup to make sure that we can go forth with the surgery." Chris says sweetly.

"No," I shake my head a little harder. "Please you can't-"

"Tris he needs to go." Tobias warns, his eyes telling me how he won't allow anything to happen to Damien.

"He won't get hurt, he just needs some looking over." My hands loosen enough for Chris to take him.

"I'll give him back in 10 minutes." She promised, leaving the room with quick stride.

"He will be fine." Tobias wrapped his arm around me and placed a kiss on my head, pulling me close to his side.

That was when the crying in the hallway began.

He wailed.

He sobbed.

I could envision his red face as he kicked his little legs.

He's tiny, nothing more then 6 pounds and he was screaming for help.

He was screaming for Tobias or I, one of us has to save him.

~.~.~

Chris returned with a whimpering Damien and an IV following in suit. His hand had a white tap surrounding it, holding it was a needle, which flowed into the IV bag.

"Just a little sleeping and pain medicine should get him ready for the procedure in a few minutes. Just give him a few kisses and Dr. Renigan should be here shortly to collect him." Chris leaves once again. This time Damien is in Tobias' arms as I examine his small white covered hand.

"He's fine, it's just a needle." Tobias fusses over my worry.

"Be brave Damien." I whisper, kissing his head and stroking down his blond hair.

Dr. Reigan came for Damien, carrying him to a clear basinet and then walking out of the room.

~.~.~

"He's going to be in pain." I demand, my eyes watering with tears.

"He won't be awake to feel it." Tobias contradicts, kissing my forehead.

"But he will be in pain afterwards!" I continue to fight.

"Tris, listen to me." Tobias took both of my shoulders and narrowed his eyes on mine. "What was the one thing I promised you and the twins?" He asked.

"To keep us safe." I whisper as I fail to stop crying.

"Exactly, I won't let Damien get hurt and I will do anything and everything in my power to protect him and make him as comfortable after this procedure." His hands move to my cheeks and he wipes away my tears with his thumbs.

"I just can't stand the thought of not being with him. He needs me when there is someone trying to put a mask over his face and is removing a vital organ from his chest. I just don't want to be a bad mother."

"You can never be a bad mother." Tobias promises. "Now let's just wait, it's all we can do for now." He takes me to sit down; our long wait starting the moment our butts hit the chairs.

~.~.~

Dr. Renigan came to fetch us, a tired smile working onto his face. Before waking Tobias who fell asleep on my shoulder I run my hands over my jeans trying to clear the sweat that has built up on them.

"Tobias wake up." I nudge him in the ribs with my elbow and rise quickly, meeting Dr. Renigan halfway.

"Tris, Tobias. The procedure went very well. Damien's lung has been removed and he is on oxygen for now. We are keeping him over night so we can ease him off of the oxygen so then by tomorrow he will be an independent breather. Expect some struggling for the first week, his chest will feel tight and all though the lung we removed was doing nothing for him, he is used to receiving a certain amount of oxygen, that has changed so he'll be confused. You can come see him now." I can't say anything except a tight "thank you."

We walk towards the recovery room, my hand clutching to the shirt of Tobias.

"Room 2." Dr. Renigan goes another direction leaving Tobias and I on our on. He begins to walk forward, my hand being pulled so I'm being forced after him.

"Hey guys." Chris whispers as she rocks Damien in a soothing fashion. He has nubbins in his nose and the same tube coming from his right hand. There is a new monitor attacked, this one wrapped around his small foot and connecting to a heart monitor.

"How is he?" I choke out, releasing Tobias' shirt and walking towards my son. His hair is everywhere and his little whimpers remind me of how he was half asleep, half awake with his colic.

"He's perfectly fine. Dr. Renigan informed me that I have to tell you how to bathe him and dress him. Follow me here." Chris walked towards a dimly lite part of the room, a small bed under the light.

"He will need to be washed with a wet cloth, avoid using soap on his body, wash his hair over a sink and do not rub his stitches. When you clean his stitches take a different clean cloth and soak it in warm water." She began to pull off the thin hospital gown leaving Damien in a diaper and a red line down the left side of his chest. There was a little blood leaking from it and he had about 4 large stitches.

Chris pulled out 2 wash clothes and walked toward the sink, soaking both towels and coming back to us.

"Who usually washes the babies?" She asks, I step forward.

"Tobias dresses and does their diapers."

"Okay, here first just wipe down his body and face." She hands me one towel and I do as instructed, wiping Damien and avoiding his tender chest.

"Good now with this you are going to lightly dab his stitches. Do not press down to hard and no rubbing just gentle dabs." I take the second towels and dab his chest. Damien stirs and begins to cry loudly making me back up and release the small towel next to his body.

"It's okay, it just hurts for now. Here Tobias why don't you dress him again?" Chris suggests, I step away for Tobias to dress Damien again.

My hands continue to shake so Chris comes to my side. "I can't do it, I'll hurt him." I tensely say.

"Tris, it's okay that he cried, you were doing what was best for him and sure it hurt him but he won't remember that later."

"Okay." I whisper as Damien's crying subsides and Tobias finished dressing him.

* * *

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**-Valentina**


	23. Chapter 23- Kicking Feet and Peas

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 23  
Kicking Feet and Peas

"TOBIAS!" I cry loudly, fumbling to grab my phone from my pocket and calling for my husband who was showering.

"TOBIAS YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME IF YOU MISS THIS!" I call out loudly finally pulling up the camera from my phone and focusing the video on the twins.

There was a loud thud and then our door opened to reveal Tobias dripping water everywhere and holding a towel to his drenched hair as his jeans hang onto his hips due to the lack of a belt.

"What's the matter?" He breathes loudly, eyes frantic as he caught sight of the twins. "Oh my god!" He said with an excited chirp, dropping next to me, water from his hair hitting my bare shoulder. "Are they really doing this?" He asks in near shock as his eyes stick to our children.

"I turn around to grab Phoe's bear and next thing I know she's dragging her legs behind her, Damien following in suit." I laugh loudly as Damien flops back to his belly but persists on kicking with his legs.

"Come on guys, keep coming to us. Phoe do you want your bear?" Tobias lifts the bear I dropped next to be and wiggles it for the babies. I toss his a giraffe from Damien while steadying the camera and quickly show Tobias shaking the two stuffies.

"Come on babies, come to mommy and daddy." I encourage, laughing as Phoenix now takes a small tumble. They begin to crawl side by side one another. Damien looking to Phoenix for instructions, Phoenix looking to Damien for reassurance. They finally crawl to Tobias' lap and accept the award of their favourite toys.

I cut the camera and scoop up Phoenix.

"Our babies can crawl!" I announce loudly, standing up and holding Phoenix high above me. I was so proud of them; our little 8-month-old son and daughter have come across a huge milestone. I hug Phoenix to my chest and kiss her head profusely as she giggles into my neck.

They know Tobias and I are proud, they are taking in this celebration with glee.

"I think we should show this new ability off, don't you agree Tris?" Tobias asks with a bright smile as Damien tugs at his daddy's bottom lip.

"I do think so." I say in agreeance as Phoenix's hand holds onto my hair.

"How does dinner and cake sound?" Tobias asks, the twins perking at the sound of cake.

"You kids are just like your father." I exasperate, walking to the kitchen and pulling out two green containers filled with mashed peas.

"Hand me their bag Tobias?" I ask, placing the food on the counter and grabbing their little spoons. Tobias gives me their black baby bag with spare diapers and blankets inside at all times. I tuck the food and spoons in, adding two empty bottles for their milk that the cafeteria workers gladly give to us.

"Alright, let's go and show your family what you can do." I cheer to the babies, taking the bag on my shoulder and heading for the door. Tobias got a shirt on and was already kicking on his convers, my feet sliding into my own pair. I push the spaghetti strap from Phoenix's dark red dress up her shoulder and try to fix her untamable hair. Tobias on the other hand spikes Damien's hair slightly and adjusts the buttons of his polo shirt.

"All set." I announced as Phoenix continued her grabbing of my lip just like Damien did to Tobias.

"Let's go." Tobias takes my hand in his and together we walk to the cafeteria, the twins squealing as they realize our destination (a.k.a where they can eat)

When we open the double doors Damien instantly goes crazy, he obviously spotted Uriah, his funny man. Damien enjoys Uriah's annoyance and takes pride that he can tug at his earlobes and lip making him irritable.

"My princess!" Shauna cried loudly, most of the cafeteria turning to look. Phoenix shook her legs excitedly as though she could run to Shauna.

"You won't believe what they learned to do." I announce, Tobias and I stopping at the head of the table. Before us sat a group of people we didn't really know and then our group.

"Hey Phoe go see Shauna." I encourage, placing her on the table as she crawled to our group. Damien was placed inches behind her and due to the sudden cheering from our friends the whole cafeteria whooped and cheered on our children. They kept chanting for them to continue and I laughed at the excitement on their small faces.

"GO HICCUPS!" Will called loudly, Phoenix making it past the first group of cheering people and to our friends. She sits promptly in the center of the table, Damien sitting next to her since she was blocking the way. The cheering broke into loud applause and then back to the rowdy, usual talk.

"I'll get our food." Tobias tells me as I sit down and take Phoenix off the table. She usually enjoys me feeding her while Damien prefers Tobias.

"Oh my god when did they learn that?" Chris asks as she puts her hand up for Damien. He gave her a high five and a small squeak of happiness. She laughed at his cuteness.

"A few minutes before we came. Tobias was showering and then they just did it. I managed to get a video." I hand my phone off to the other side of the table, Marlene and Uriah jumping up and running to the other side to see the video as well. Awws came from our friends, Tobias placing a single tray down in front of me as it held two plates. He took the bottles from the bag and promised to be back quickly. I think they restarted the video because Tobias managed to get the bottles filled while I opened both baby foods and got bibs around both of the twins.

"That's a great video. I'm sending that to me." Marlene announces, taking the phone from Zeke and pressing the buttons on the screen.

Everyone returned to their food while Marlene and Uriah came back to our side of the table. I got my phone back and began to prop Phoenix on my lap for easier feeding.

Damien was already munching away at his peas while I scooped a small spoonful and offered it to Phoenix. As usual she was withdrew from my hand, smashed into me before she had no more ability to get any further from her dinner.

"Phoenix!" I whine, knowing how this would end. She never liked her food, Tobias and I have tried different mashed food and offered her different ways of preparation, all of which she turns down.

Her pickiness was the most pronounced thing as Damien and her got older. He loves to eat anything from mashed carrots to those soft baby sausages, which I for once understood why Phoenix hated. The smell was horrid.

"Phoe you can't keep up with this. We were told that your to sensitive for our food." I try to reason with an 8 month old!

The only food she does accept is the one that Tobias and I get to eat. Dr. Quin said it wasn't all to healthy to feed her it however because she and Damien have sensitive stomachs and it can either make her vomit or have awful diarrhea (It's happened before)

To this lack of food and nutrients she stayed tiny, Damien becoming larger than her within weeks of changing them from milk to solids.

"Just give her some from our plates, she needs to eat." Tobias relinquishes.

I close the food and move the tray closer to me, looking at the arrangement of cut steak and peas.

"Huh, well that's ironic." I say, Phoenix's blue eyes looking up to me as if requesting to be feed to food. "I'm only giving you peas." I tell her, taking the round vegetable and offering it to her mouth. She eyes it and then closes her small lips around the ends of my three fingers. I release the pea in her mouth and my fingers away as she chews.

"Why won't she just eat the peas mashed?" Zeke asks me with a chuckle.

"Because she's like her mother," Tobias suddenly starts. "Stubborn and always wanting to do it her way." He winks at me as I smack his firm upper arm. I take another pea and slowly feed Phoenix, one pea at a time.

"Can she eat meat?" Uriah asks through a mouthful of what seems to be chicken and rice.

"She likes to gnaw at it." I say taking a piece and holding it. Phoenix puts it in her mouth and begins to chew, I don't let the end that's not in her mouth go because I know she can choke.

Tobias closed the empty container from Damien and grabbed his fork. He took a piece of meat and held it in front of me. I took the meat into my mouth and gave a sheepish smile. We usually do this, when the first person finished feeding one of the twins we help the other one eat so the food won't get too cold.

We somehow manage to eat and clear our table, the twins too full to be crazy.

"Do you guys wanna go to the pit or are they in need of going to bed?" Chris asks, Tobias answers by showing her Damien who lies knocked out on his shoulder.

"Well, see you guys tomorrow." She waves us off and Tobias and I head back to our apartment, not even thinking twice when receiving the gift of a night's rest.

* * *

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**-Valentina**


	24. Chapter 24- Attention for Two?

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 24  
Attention For Two?

|2 and half years old|

"Mommy," A sleepy voice echoed in the apartment, my head turning around from my place on the couch to see Damien emerge from his room with a rather large cow lick and sleepy eyes.

"Hi baby." I smile, standing up and meeting him halfway.

"Mommy my chest hurt." He complains in a very jumbled wordly fashion while heaving a very strong looking breath. This happens often, the single lung being over worked therefore Damien feeling pressure in his chest.

"Did you have some water?" I ask him, his head shaking in response. I take him from under his armpits and place him on my hip. He rests his head on my shoulder and continues his tight breathing. I walk to the kitchen and place him on the counter, opening the cabinet near him and pulling out a blue sippy cup. I fill it with cold water and hand it to Damien, my hand holding his knees as he drinks some water.

"Where daddy?" He asks me with a confused look. It was quite early for him, not even 7am, Tobias left for work at 6am and I was sitting in the living room reading before Damien came to me. The twins usually aren't up until 8 or 9 leaving me some time to unload the dishwasher and fold yesterday's dry laundry.

"He's at work, do you want to go back to bed or help mommy with some things?"

"Help you." He decides with a small smile, the water obviously did the trick. I smile back and take him off the counter, placing him by the dishwasher and opening the metallic machine. Steam lifted around us making Damien giggle. I pull out the bottom drawer of clean dishes and begin to pull them out, Damien following in suit. He would pull them off the rack and either tiptoe to put the on the counter of hand them to me. We hardly have anything in there except for the sippy cups and extra bowls the kids use for snakes in the apartment. We only run a load every 2 days so the dishwasher can load up a bit and then be used again.

"All done!" Damien announces, taking the last bowl out and handing it to me. He slid the rack in with his one hand, the other holding his sippy cup. Then he shut the dishwasher with a click.

"Good boy. Thanks for helping." I smile, stroking his hair back. He jumps a little and walks to the living rooms, I put away the stuff he placed on the counter.

When I get to the living room Damien had began to stack blocks in the blue firelight. Heating and cooling has been malfunctioning in the compound so it was pretty hot out right now. The fire was blue to help cool down the room while illuminating it nicely.

"Do you want a bath before Phoe wakes up?" I ask him, crouching by his tower.

"Okie." He agrees, standing up and sliding his hand into mine. I walk with him to his room, whispering him to be quiet for Phoenix who was still sleeping in her bed.

Tobias switched them from their cribs last weeks because they kept climbing out and almost dying each time.

"Can you grab your towel?" I ask him, pointing to the cabinet once we were in the bathroom. He proudly walks away from me and begins to rummage in the cabinet while I turn on the bath and allow semi warm water to fill it. Halfway to the top I stop the water and help Damien remove his clothes and pull up.

"I used toilet." He said to me, addressing the clean pull up.

"Good boy, soon you won't be needing this." I said with a smile as I disposed of the nighttime pull up. Damien quickly stepped up on the small stool and sat on the seat that is to help them use the toilet. It's smaller so they won't fall in but they can still flush and not have to worry about having a plastic container to do their business in.

When he flushed and got into the tub I began to scoop water and cup and bathe him. He played was a small sailboat and kept trying to hold it under water, each time it would pop back up with a giant water bubble.

I used a sponge to wash off his body and out of habit dabbed the scar on the left side of his chest. I know it doesn't hurt anymore but I remember all of his crying and Tobias having to take over because I would start crying myself.

"Close your eyes." I tell him, rinsing his shampooed hair and then unplugging the drain. He stood up and shivered slightly until I wrapped the towel around him. I picked him up and carried him back to the room where Phoenix began to turn slightly.

"Alright let's get you dressed." I say, drying him off and leaving the towel draped over his head. I pick out a new pull-up along with a pair of shorts and black print shirt. He knew the drill: Leg, leg. Arms up. And then you're done. He shook his head a little, and I ran my fingers through his hair. It would lie smoothly later but for now it stayed in wet spikes. "Okay you can go back to your blocks." I say when he was dressed. He obediently walked out of the room leaving me with his laundry. I tossed the clothes in the hamper in the hall and refolded the towel, placing back under the cabinet. As I left the bathroom Phoenix moaned. This can't be good.

Her body shock, she made an incredulous noise of fear and then sat up quickly, sweat covering her forehead as tears streaked her face.

Her tears became sobs and she was soon crying for me to hold her. I scooped her up and kissed her forehead profusely, rocking her back and forth as I sat where she laid. Her sobs continues and Damien must have heard because he came in to see his sister.

"What happened?" He asked me with a tremor in his voice.

"She just had a nightmare Damien, it's alright. Why don't you go and watch TV?" I suggest, he gave her a quick kiss on the head and left. My arms loosened their grip so I could see Phoenix's face. She was really shaken up about something, I just couldn't figure out what.

"He take me." She finally said, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Who took you baby?" I ask her, smoothing her curls out and feeling the warmth of her head.

"Big man." She told me her eyes were wild with fear.

"It's okay. I'm here. No man will get you." I promise her, hugging her close to me again and then wrapping a blanket around her shaking body. I rose from her bed and walked to the living room.

Damien was content with his blocks. My heart ached for him, he was so used to being behind the scenes due to Phoenix's constant health issues. She was always sick, always tiny, and always underweight. We had weekly doctor visits for her and Tobias and I tended to focus on feeding her. Damien was so independent that it hurt. It was obvious that he was faking it this morning, I knew very well the difference between his breathing issues and fake attempt to having one. He may be two but he knows how to act. He woke up early to have my full attention, he was showing me all he could do hoping I would be proud. I am proud, he's such a great kid, he's my kid.

"Damien," I say, getting his grey eyes on mine. "Do you want to go for breakfast soon? You can eat whatever you like." I tell him, a smile working onto his face.

"Okie." He says, standing up and walking to me.

"Let me help Phoenix bathe and then we can go." I say his smile died immediately.

He nodded in agreeanca and returned to his blocks, I feel awful.

~.~.~

Phoenix continued to shake even in the warm water and her eyes were still wild. I got her washed quickly and then dressed her in a skirt and black print shirt. She lifted her arms up to me. I picked her up and left her hair alone all together.

"Come one D Man, time for breakfast." I tell him, turning off the fire place and offering him my hand. He took it and we walked to the entrance together.

I got both of them with their sandals on and only now realized the pink blanket Phoenix still help.

"Phoe do you think you can leave that here?" I ask her. She shook her head quickly and grasped my neck. I took her back on my hip and took Damien's hand.

"Do you want to bring a toy?" I ask him, he nodded and ran back inside, returning with a dinosaur.

"Uriah gave it to me." He declared as he fixed the limps of the hard toy.

"That was nice of him. Do you know what it's called?" I ask him.

"A T-Rex." He said in a very deep tone, roaring right after as he tried to sound like the toy.

I laughed at him and quickly eyed my trembling daughter. She had her face tucked in my neck and was trying to curl up into me as well as possible.

Do you think daddy wants to join us?" I ask Damien, his eyes went wide with excitement.

"YAY!" He cried loudly, running around the hall like a silly man. I lead him to a different are of the compound, also known as the training facility. Tobias was training the initiates with Jamie this year since having the twins around would be to hard to deal with. When we entered the large room an echoing thud and groan came from the middle of the room. More groaning and then a crunch. Soon applause was heard and Tobias declared a name.

"Winner, Evon. Round 7, Haden and Ambry." I rounded the corner, taking Damien's hand and standing to watch this years group. It was large, with almost 17 transfers.

Tobias caught me eyes and gave a smile, winking to Damien who waved his hand, well actually waved the T-Rex at him.

Haden knocked out Ambry after a while, both seemed to put up a strong fight. This time Jamie declared the winner and called round 8.

I watched as two boys, both of which I missed the names of, fought aggressively. It wasn't something Damien hadn't seen before, he has been in the pit multiple times and he play fought with Phoenix on many occasions. The fight ended with two bloody males and the bell for breakfast ringing in the room. Everyone stood and waited to be sent off.

One of the girls questioned who I was, catching Tobias off guard.

"I'm Six, Four's wife." I snap at her when I realize the flicker of her eyelashes and odd flirting she was doing with Tobias. I know she's only 16 and Tobias is 24 but he's mine.

"And who are they? 5 and 7? No wait let me guess? One and Two!" One of the boys cackled with laughter, others joined in at the not so funny joke.

"Those are my children and no, those are not their names." Tobias barks loudly, everyone flinched.

"Then what are their names?" One of the kids challenged.

"Damien and Phoenix." Tobias spat loudly the girl lost her smirk.

"So you got to bang her? I bet I would be better." A boy about Tobias' size made the worst comment of his life.

"Excuse me?" Tobias asks, I had covered the ears of Damien by pressing his head into my thigh.

"I would like to remind ALL OF YOU that Six is not just my wife but she is also of high authority around here. You not only listen to me and Jamie but you listen to her and the other dauntless that are in this compound because one stupid, loose tonged comment can end your life." Tobias now eyes the boy. "Am I understood." He seethed, the boy nodded and apologized quietly.

"Leave, all of you!" Jamie demanded, walking away with the group.

"I'm sorry!" I say to Tobias knowing that it was my fault.

"They had to know." He said in his light tone.

"How are you?" I asked him. He shrugged and gave me a grin.

"Fine, you?" He asked me, moving away my hair.

"Well Phoenix had a nightmare and hasn't stopped clinging to me and I'm worried that Damien is being left out." I say quickly.

"Like now?" Tobias asks, addressing our son who stood silently next to Tobias, waiting for his hello.

"Exactly like now." I tell him, pushing him to focus on Damien.

"Hey D Man, what's up?" Tobias crouches in front of Damien and finally manages to make our son smile again.

"Look, I have T-Rex." Damien said proudly showing the toy to Tobias.

"Wow! This is so cool." Tobias said, taking the toy and playing with the moving arms. "Uh-oh, look he ate your nose!" Tobias cried, tapping Damien's nose with the toy's. Damien laughed and wiped at his nose.

"You're silly daddy." Damien laughed, holding Tobias's hand.

"So are you buddy." Tobias handed to toy back to him and then scooped him into the air.

"Look mommy. I flying!" Damien cried, his arms opening wide like a bird.

"You're even taller than daddy." I tell him, he smiled at me.

Tobias dropped Damien down on his shoulders and piggy backed him out of the room, I was close behind.

~.~.~

When we arrived the cafeteria people jumbled around, the usual morning chatter was flying around. I was sure Phoenix was asleep, she wasn't going to wake up until lunch time at the most. We stood in line for food and scanned the area for our friends. Shauna and Zeke approached, Damien calling to them loudly.

"I'm taller than daddy." Damien told Shauna as Zeke cut in behind me.

"What's up?" He asked me, nodding to Phoenix.

"I don't really know anymore." I said, trying not to shift my arm even though it has fallen asleep. Phoenix was a very light load but I've been carrying her for almost 30 minutes, my arm was tired.

"Hey can you hold her for a minute?" I ask Zeke, he nodded and offered his arms to me. I shook Phoenix from my shoulder carefully, dropping her into Zeke's arms.

I could have sworn she was asleep.

She had to be asleep.

I didn't know how but she let out a blood curling scream the moment my arms left her body.

The whole cafeteria became silent.

Phoenix began to sob between cries for help.

She was in fact asleep, but she was still in her nightmare.

* * *

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	25. Chapter 25- The Speaking Men

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 25  
The Speaking Men

Zeke nearly threw Phoenix back to me out of fear for what she was doing. I began to rock her as she screamed into the crook of my neck.

"Give her to me." Tobias demanded, I released her to him. Once again she screamed loudly. I took her out and headed for the door, the cafeteria still watching me with careful eyes. I heard a voice call after me as I swerved around different people and made it to the pit. I hoped the music would drown the noise of her sobs, they didn't.

"Tris," Chris came after me, her body shaking at the sight. "What's wrong with her?" She asks me while stroking Phoenix's hair and trying to see her face.

"I don't know! She said she had a nightmare and hasn't let me put her down since. My arm began to ache so when I thought she was asleep I gave her to Zeke. She went crazy!"

"Was that the screaming? Will and I heard it form across the hall. We thought someone was hurt." Chris continued stroking Phoenix's hair. Suddenly she arched her eyebrow and went behind me. Phoenix must have been facing past my back because Chris was asking small questions to my trembling daughter.

"Tris can you come with me back to the infirmary?" Chris asks, I obliged and together we hurried away form the pit and towards the hallways.

We climbed a set of stairs and finally made it to the brightly lite, medicine scented room. There was one of the initiates getting stitches across her forehead while her friends hung around, picking at the different materials.

We took a turn at the end of the hall and then Chris opened the door to a room I didn't know existed. There was simple chair like the ones used for simulations and a few clear cabinets full of brightly coloured vials. Chris patted the chair and told me to sit with Phoenix on my lap. I did and felt Phoenix's fingers press into my hand.

"I scared." She whimpered while Chris opened and closed cabinets. She came back to me with a green liquid, a laptop, and few wires with sticky ends.

With quick hands she began assembling the laptop, pressing in the wires on one end and making them spark red or blue on the other. She typed in a few codes and finally opened up a black monitor. There was no picture, not yet that is.

"Hold her for a minute." Chris says, I wrapped Phoenix with my arms to keep her from moving. Chris pressed two wires onto Phoenix's temples, then one on the back side of her left hand. The final wire was clipped behind her ear causing a beep to echo in the room.

"Here Phoe, drink some of this." Chris handed Phoenix a small paper cup of what looks like water. The yellow vial was empty when I looked. Phoenix drank the "water" not even tasting the difference.

"Alright let me do one last thing." Chris flashed a small light in both of Phoenix's eyes when I saw the screen again I say the brightness Phoenix must have been seeing. Chris looked to the computer as well and moved away from where she stood and image of a dark shadow staying in her place.

The water made Phoenix fall asleep but she clenched her whole body. The figure glitches and gets closer. Phoenix began to sob again, squeezing my hand as she tried to back up further into me.

"It's okay." A voice whispered from the computer. "I won't hurt you." Phoenix cried louder.

The man, the voice, neither one of them was real. Phoenix was the only one who was able to hear them and see them. She couldn't tell that it wasn't real. We were seeing things from her eyes, we were hearing what she heard.

Chris turned off the monitor immediately. She unplugged the wires and take them off of Phoenix's skin.

"Chris what was that about?!" I demand, hugging Phoenix close to me as she grips around my neck.

"Phoenix is having hallucinations. She's being haunted by these men that don't exist." Chris tells me.

"Like ghosts?" I asked.

"No, nothing like ghosts. They are figments of her imagination. Phoenix has obvious symptoms of schizophrenia. Mild schizophrenia that causes her to see things that aren't there and hear sounds that no one else can. It's treatable, there's medication but she needs it for the rest of her life because this won't go away. None of those figures will leave her mind, she's trapped in this mind-state. I'm calling Four over to tell you guys everything." She stepped off to the side, dialing a number on her phone.

~.~.~

Tobias was at the infirmary so fast I could have sworn he flew. He ran up to me stroking Phoenix's hair and offering to hold her. She extended her arms out to him and he wrapped her with his large arms, telling her she will be fine.

Chris emerged from the room we were in a few minutes after Tobias arrived. I had enough time to tell him about Phoenix and what Chris guesses she has. He was lost at first but then immediately flushed in colour.

"What?" I asked him.

"Do you remember how I told you about my friend, Lucas?" He asked, trying to swallow as though there was a lump in his throat.

"Yeah, you guys were 14 when he…." I began to trail with my works.

"When he killed himself. He had schizophrenia, he would be happy one minute, sad the next. He always complained about the voices, that there was someone bad in his head. One day after school I went to my house and he went to his, next thing I hear is him screaming "shut up" and then falling from the top of his house. He killed himself over the voices."

"Chris said it was mild." I try to convince myself. "Phoenix won't have to deal with these images or voices as long s she takes mediation." I add.

"I know I just don't want her… you know. Lucas had so much to offer but those voices broke him."

"We won't let them break her. We will give her the medicine and pray that it works." I demand, turning when Chrisn walked from behind the counter of medication.

"Lutuda. It's a medication that should help with the sounds and images. It also keeps her mood in tact, no sudden change in attitude. There was some side affects: heart attacks, strokes, migraines, and increasing of symptoms brought on by schizophrenia. I'm sure it will work for her, from the images and voice waves I got I was able to narrow it down. If it doesn't work I want to try blood-work and see what we can make out of it. I don't want you guys stressing over this, it's a mental condition that people can have, she'll be fine as long as you give her half of a pill, smashed up and mixed in water everyday. There are 100 pills in here, when she needs a refill we will see if we need to adjust the amount she uses. Half a pill will be plenty to help her though."

"How long until it works?" I ask, eyeing the bottle of pills.

"Usual a day after taking the first dose, she should feel perfectly normal unless she has a negative reaction. Just keep an eye and call me if something goes wrong."

"Okay, thanks Chris." I give her a hug and take the bottle from her.

"Oh and give it to her at 7pm, everyday." Chris adds quickly.

"Alright, see you at dinner." I say waving to her as she walks away to her new patient. I walk with Tobias out of the infirmary, Phoenix sleeping in his large arms.

"Where's Damien?" I ask, reading over the pill bottle.

"I left him with Shauna since her shift was done. He began to cry saying he wanted me to stay with him. He kept telling me how he needed to show me something but Phoenix needed me, I had to tell him no."

"Like always." I sigh.

"We can't help it, Tris. Phoenix is sick, if we don't help her she can get hospitalized." He said with a little shake of his head.

"How do you think Damien feels?" I suddenly ask him, stopping in my tracks and causing Tobias to turn around to look at me. "How do you think our 2 year old son is feeling knowing that every minute of everyday his sister needs to be looked after? He forced himself to wake up early just so he could have an hour with me and my full attention. He never once speaks up or disturbs anyone to gloat about what he can and can't do. Didn't you see him today? You were talking to me and he just stood there waiting for us to finish. He could have jumped and screamed and demanded your attention like any normal 2 year old but instead he just waited. He's always waiting." I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. "All he ever wants is to make us proud but we can never reward him for that." I choke out, a tear tumbling down my cheek.

"Tris, he'll be fine." Tobias tells me, his hand falling on my cheek as he wipes away the fallen tear. "Look, I understand where you are coming from. He is always trying to show us something in a desecrate way but we never acknowledge it until hours later when we feel sorry that we didn't. We just have to be patient and put more attention to him. He will understand when he is older, he always does." Tobias kisses my forehead, wrapping his free arm around me. Together we walked forward as our hips pressed together.

I needed to find my boy, and I needed to give him a big kiss because he needed to know that his mom loves him.

"Hey did you notice something about Chris today?" I ask Tobias, suddenly re-evaluating the look of my friend.

"Such as?" Tobias looks to me.

"Like the way she looked. Her stomach wasn't flat it seemed bigger."

"So maybe she gained some weight." Tobias suggests but I shake my head.

"No not like fat but like firm. Like a baby bump." And this was only the beginning.

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**-Valentina**


	26. Chapter 26- No Parachute? No Problem

**DISCLAIME****R: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 26  
No Parachute? No Problem.

"You're what?" I demand to Chris, my smile growing even larger as the predictions I had from earlier today were confirmed. Will had looped his arm around Chris and kissed her head while the rest of our friends laughed and congratulated them.

"How far along are you?" I ask, my voice shaking with excitement.

"1 and a half months." She smiled, looking to Will with a twinkle in her eyes. "It was a good surprise to find a few weeks ago." She assured us, my eyes now taking in the sight of the small bump on my best friends stomach.

"Hope you guys don't mind sharing a little family love for the new baby." Chris says to Damien and Phoenix. They seemed rather confused but continued to smile. Phoenix seemed better after the medication and was back to her crazy self.

"Baby?" Damien asks as he taps Chris's stomach lightly.

"Yeah little man, she has a baby in there." Will tells my son, he lite up with this discovery.

"Did she eat it?" Phoenix ask with furrowed eyebrows.  
"No sweetie, Chrisy didn't eat the baby." Shauna promised my daughter relaxed immensely.

"Smart kids, I hope this one will be like them." Will says, his hand falling on Chris' stomach.

"I'm so happy for you guys." I say, hugging Chris closely and then looking at her twinkling eyes.

"I'm going to need you most." She said as her long lashes flickered in an attempt to hide tears.

"I'll always be here. Besides if I can have twins at 18 I'm sure you can do the same at 20." I wipe away her slipped tear and she laughs at the thought.

"God it better be a single baby." She exasperates, I now laugh at her worry.

"You'll be a great mother." I tell her, finally releasing her shoulders and going back to Tobias.

"Wait how bad is the… you know giving birth part?" She asks. I look at Tobias and he does what I do. Both of us cover one of the twins ears and then I tell her.

"It's hell, everything hurts and you might think you're dying. Don't worry you'll be fine though."

"Great." She says, we release the kids ears and watch at Phoenix brawls with her brother.

"Well they can always use another punching bag." I say, Chris covers her face in utter fear.

"You all suck." She mumbles.

|9 months later|

"YOU'RE ALL GOING TO BURN IN HELL!"

"Yeah you mentioned that already." I say, dabbing Chris' sweat blotted forehead.

"Where's Will?" She cried.

"Tobias went to go and find him. You know he left to Erudite last night for business. Besides I'm surprised you let him leave despite being almost 2 weeks overdue." I shake my head as she gives me the middle finger. "Save that for the actual pushing." I say, closing her finger back into a fist.

"Ow, ow it's happening again!" She whimpers, squeezing my hand and trying to curl up. She sobbed as I dabbed her forehead again and stroked back her dark hair.

"It's almost over." I tell her out of encouragement.

"How did you do this for 17 hours?" She asked between raged breaths.

"I don't know, I just did. Be glad you're only 5 hours in and are already 9 centimeters." I say looking at the clock to double check.

"I just want her out!" She demanded, I'm sure it was an ill-fated attempt to make her daughter come out faster.

"Save your energy fro when you actually have to push." I suggest, she crumbles against my arm in defeat.

"I hate all of this." She begins to cry, I wipe away her tears.

"Just think about her, think about your little girl." I say in whisper. "Think about how she will hold you hand and look at you like you're the greatest person ever." I began to think about my own kids who were probably waking up to find Shauna and Zeke instead of Tobias and I. Will left yesterday for an overnight business meeting and at 3 in the morning I received the frantic call from Chris telling me her water has broken and she was in labor. I forced Tobias to call Shauna and Zeke, and then to go and find Will while I went to help Chris walk to the infirmary. It was a grueling task considering how she lived 5 minutes away and was bigger than me. I tried to support her but her contractions were coming every minute, she was in very fast labor according to .

"Chris, you are 10 centimeters and must start pushing now." informed Chris. She became frantic.

"No, not without Will." She cried. "I need him!" She pleaded; I could only look to her sympathetically.

"Dear you must start now, the baby can't wait." looked at Chris for a long time before she turned her gaze to me.

"Please stay with me!" She begged, I squeezed her hand a little tighter.

"I wouldn't leave you even if someone paid me." I promised, she gave a weak smile.

"Okay Chris, start pushing as soon as you feel the next contraction." And so Chris did. She clenched her teeth, bared forward and began to push with all her might.

"Good job Chris, keep going." I encourage, wiping her forehead with the towel. She released the pressure but was soon back up and pushing, determination taking over everything else.

As she moaned loudly I watched as Will walked in. He ran to Chris' other side and took her hand.

"I'm right here sweetheart. I've got you." He says close to Chris' ear. She released and looked to Will.

"Oh thank God." She whispered, Will kissing her before Dr. Quin broke them up.

"One more Chris." He said and so with a finale push and squeeze of my hand Chris released the little screaming baby.

She was very dirty, very large, but very sweet.

~.~.~

"Piper Willow Blagrove. She weighs 8 pounds." Chris announces, rocking her small daughter. Piper has dark skin and hair like Chris. Her eyes seem to match Will's, green, like celery that glinted with mischief. I instantly knew that my daughter and Chris' daughter were going to run Dauntless to ruins with their look of danger and excitement. It was only a matter of time before the both of them would be playing and fighting each other.

"She's pretty." Damien decided while Will crouched in front of him and Phoenix, holding Piper. "I like her." He added.

"I'm glad to hear that." Chris said to him.

"Your new girlfriend." Uriah suggested to Damien, this only made Damien happier.

"Bye-bye Piper." He waved as Will stood up and went back to Chris.

"Here Tris, why don't you hold her?" Chris suggest, handing the baby to me.

I fell in love instantly and knew that I was not done having children. There was still room in our family for one more.

~.~.~

|4 YEARS LATER|

My stomach churned at the sight of my bowl of beef stew. Phoenix and Damien were racing to see who could get their bowl down first while Tobias told them over and over how they were going to throw up.

Piper was making a fuss over the stew as Chris encouraged her to take just one more bite despite her hatred of the liquid and chunks of meat.

"I don't want any!" Piper demanded loudly, Will finally taking over Chris' place and telling her how it is not polite to push your food away.

"Come on Pipes, look at Phoe and Damien. They love their stew." Will encouraged, Piper crossing her arms over her chest and shaking her brown piggy tails.

"Trust me this is far from fun. They are going to lose their load later because they're eating too fast." Tobias watches our children in dismay.

Phoenix placed her tilted bowl down again once it's contents was emptied into her stuffed mouth.

"Wipe your mouth sweetheart." I say in a tight tone, handing her a white napkin so she can wipe up her brown covered chin.

"I WIN!" She cries once she swallows her soup and wipes off her mouth, still leaving a smudge by her lip. Tobias licks his thumb and cleans it off for her, her face contorting in disapproval of her daddy helping her.

"That's my girl." Shauna says from behind, ruffling Phoenix's red curls and taking an empty seat beside her. Zeke follows her and sits by Shauna's side.

"Did you see me win Shauna?" Phoenix asked in delight of her win and getting to see her best girl friend Shauna.

"I saw that mouth full of soup if that's what you mean." Shauna laughs and helps clean the extra soup on the side of her lip.

"Where's Izabel?" Damien asks, his grey eyes trying to find she small baby from Zeke and Shauna.

"Marlene and Uriah wanted to babysit." Zeke informs Damien, the bags under his and Shauna's eyes telling everyone else that they were exhausted and needed and all day nap away from their 3-month-old daughter.

"Can I hold Izabel later?" He asks in a small whisper.

"Sure buddy." Zeke gives Damien a smile before starting on his own bowl.

"Daddy I can't finish it. My tummy is starting to hurt." Damien gives a light push to his bowl so then it moves closer to Tobias.

"What did I tell you?" Tobias shakes his head while taking away the kids bowls.

"Sorry-daddy." Phoenix says, a hiccup cutting between her words.

"Yeah, sorry daddy." Damien agrees. Phoenix continued to hiccup, chugging water between the sounds.

"You've been awfully quiet." Chris addressed me.

"Sorry, just a little sick, that's all." I say as my stomach did a summersault. "Tobias, do you mind if I head back to the apartment?" I whisper to him, his hand falling on my thigh.

"You sure you're okay, we can all go back if you like." He suggests, trying to catch my wandering eyes.

"No, that's okay. Damien wants to hold Izabel and I'm sure Mar and Uriah will be here soon. I'll see you three later." Without another word from Tobias I kiss him and rise, heading for the door, my mind anticipating to see the test results of the stick I left on the sink edge.

~.~.~

"So what did you do after I left?" I ask Tobias as I undo my ponytail and fix my hair in front of the mirror. He was sitting against the headboard of our bed in his usual shirtless, black pajama pant sleepwear. I approached our bed and slipped off my clothes from today, replacing them with one of his too big shirts and a pair of shorts.

"The kids begged for cake, I had to tell them no because they ate way to quickly and I didn't want them vomiting all night. Mar and Uriah came by with Izabel so Damein got to hold her. Piper and Phoenix did a little crazy dance on one of the free tables after watching two people fight on it. It was truly eventful." I laugh at the thought of my daughter holding hands with her best friend as they twirled on a tabletop.

"Well that's our daughter, silly and determined." I crawl onto the bed, sitting cross-legged by his side as he cups my face with a single hand and runs it down my neck and over my back.

"What did you do?" He asked me, his hand resting on the small of my back.

"Well I was thinking," I say with a weak smile.

"Uh oh, about what?" He asked with a raise of his eyebrow.

"About maybe having another baby…" My words trail at the end and Tobias' eyebrow fell back down.

"A…a…baby?" He spluttered in utter shock.

"Yeah a baby, you know the ones that require 3 in the morning feedings and diaper changes every 3 hours. The tiny ones." I supply.

"Oh those ones." Tobias laughs, his hand falling from my back as he limply stared at the wall ahead.

"Yeah, those ones." I say, searching for any signs of resentment in his eyes.

"Did you want one?" He asked after a minute of thinking.

I shrug my shoulders, "Maybe." I say with a small smile.

"Tris why are you asking me this now? I mean not to sound mean or anything it's just you haven't had the slightest interest in having more children over these 5 years."

"I used a test before leaving for dinner. I thought that the condom broke last time because I was having some of the symptoms like when I was pregnant with the twins." I admit, his brain obviously reeling to take in all of this information.

"What did it say?" He asked.

"What did what say?" I ask, still scared from telling him about possibly holding his child.

"The test, Tris." He says to be with a small cock of his head.

"Oh, right the test! It was negative." I say, my smile dropping exponentially. Tobias seemed to sadden at the news, looking away from my eyes and looking to the blankets. "Are you sad?" I ask him, he shakes his head lightly, it was far from convincing.

"Tris, when you took the test what result were you expecting?" He asked me after a moment of awkward silence.

"I don't know, maybe I was a little excited. I began to imagine Damien and Phoenix having their own little brother or sister you know?"

"We jump together and I don't know whether you're ready or not but I feel like it's a better time than any."

"Why so?" I ask, my eyebrows now furrowing.

"Because the kids go to school next September. It's already January so give it 9 months you will be having a baby before they leave. It makes all the sense. No need to worry about being pregnant and dealing with Damien and Phoenix going to school each day." Tobias cocks a grin and I laugh.

"You've really thought this over." I say with a raise of my eyebrows.

"I guess I have. I mean I do wonder it would be like to have another little baby in the house."

"Well you are about to be a very busy man." I say, going on my knees and crawling over his body towards his face. "We jump together." I say, waiting for him to reply.

"Even if one of us doesn't have a parachute." He whispers, closing the space between us.

My hands hold his face as he pulls my hips closer. I'm soon straddling him as he deepens our kiss. When my sitting satisfies him his hands rise and slide under my shirt. I shiver as his warm hands roam my stomach. He pulls my top off after a minute and then reaches for my shorts. I oblige and rise, losing my shorts and panties. He laughs at my confidence, puling me back into bed and posing himself on top of me.

"I love you." I whisper, breaking our kiss momentarily. "I'm so glad you're mine." I add on.

"I'm so glad you chose me." He whispers, kissing my nose. I laugh and stroke his side. I can feel all of the little bumps from his scars caused by his own father's hand.

"Every last bit of you." I reassure him, kissing him once again and allowing him to take us away from everything else for a few splendorous minutes.

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**-Valentina **


	27. Chapter 27- I Can Take It

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 27  
I Can Take It

|5 months pregnant|

I was enjoying this pregnancy, for starters it was less exhausting. I felt this baby moving in a soothing fashion within me. It's small body not tiring me out like the twins did. Phoenix has taken great interest in the way his foot would push against my stomach or the way my singing would ease the most sudden of "somersaults" from the baby.

"Mommy I want toast!" Phoenix demanded from the kitchen where her and Damien were finding a snack.

"Sweetheart, mommy has a headache right now. Why don't you and Damien grab a cookie from the counter and read one of your new books?"

These were one of those days were it wasn't all to perfect. I had a migraine and could hardly open my eyes, the kids have been hanging out in their room all day upon Tobias' request for them to be easy for me while he was at work.

"I can't reach it." Phoenix groaned to her brother. Whispers were returned between each other and then I heard nothing. A chair moaned against the floor and Phoenix giggled about something. I should be concerned but I remember the cookies being on the edge of the counter and if they have to climb a chair then I'm sure they are capable.

"How do I get down?"

"I don't know." Damien said back in a rush.

"Move out of the way, I'll jump." Phoenix demanded, I was on my feet as fast as a pregnant woman can be.

"Phoe no jumping from the-!" And then came the crash. I rushed to the kitchen, my heart beating at a million miles a minute. Damien was looking to his sister with a tilt of his head and I began to panic.

"Phoenix! Honey, are you okay?" I ask, picking my daughter off of the ground and sitting her on the counter.

"My arm hurts." She whimpers, tears welling up in her eyes but not falling.

"Which one?" I ask, my headache dissipating from the mini heart attack my daughter just gave me.

"My left one!" She demands, holding up her right arm.

"That's your right arm." I correct, her stubborn glare snapping me back to my concerned worry. "Can I see it?" I ask her, she offered her arm. I moved up her black long sleeve causing her to whimper and attempt to pull away.

"Sorry." I say, finally seeing the bruising arm of my child. "Wow, I need you to be honest. How bad does it hurt?" I ask her, she doesn't speak, only looks at me with her painful eyes. She never expresses her pain, her eyes do all of the talking and I know this was true pain for her.

"Hey Damien, do you mind getting your shoes on?" I ask him.

"Why?"

"Because we are going to visit Chrisy." I say, Phoenix looking at her arm with a scowl.

~.~.~

When we entered the infirmary Chris' face was the first I noticed. She placed her hands on her hips and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Who is it this time?" She asked with a smirk.

"This one." I say, pointing to Phoenix who was holding an ice bag to her arm.

"Come here hiccup, let me fix you." Chris said, opening the door to an empty room and ushering the twins and I inside.

"So how did this one happen?" Chris asked Phoenix who instinctively climbed onto the crinkly sheet bed.

"I wanted a cookie so I climbed the counter and fell." She said with an innocent bat of her long eyelashes. Classic suck up from Phoenix so then no one will get mad at her.

"Well you did some nice work there. Definitely broken, yet I see no tears." Chris looked to Phoenix expectantly. She shrugged her small shoulders and then looked back at Chris.

"It hurts." She defends herself.

"Okay sweetheart, let me get the cast molding and you can pick the colour you like from this drawer." Chris kicked open the bottom drawer and left the room. Phoenix hopped off the bed and ran and to see the colours with Damien.

"Get the dark red." Damien supplied, pointing to his requested colour.

"But I like the black one. Oh! What if I get both in a spiral?" She and Damien whooped at the agreement and came back holding the coloured bandage.

"Did you call daddy?" Damien asks as he sits on my lap and looks up to me with his inquisitive grey eyes.

"Yes, he's busy right now keeping the control room under watch but he said he will come as soon as Danny returns." I answer, running my finger through his blond hair.

Chris returned with a rolling table assorted with a paste like substance, a syringe, and a few other things I don't know the name of. A young woman followed her wearing the same coat as Chris.

"Okay Phoe, we have to set that arm of yours back into place. It's going to hurt but this should help with the pain." Chris pressing the syringe into the upper arm of Phoenix making her flinch but not cry.

"Okay just lie back and relax your arm." Chris says, Phoenix laying on the bed and extending her arm toward Chris.

"Mommy, I want to hold your hand." Phoenix suddenly says, her voice shaking with fear. I stand up and place Damien where I once sat. Then I stepped towards the bed and took my daughters free hand.

"On 3 okay?" Chris asks, her assistant holding Phoenix's upper arm and covering the place of dislocation.

"1, 2, 3." There was a snap and then Phoenix began to sob loudly, trying to bring her arm back to herself but the lady we still have no name for, holds it in place.

"Shh, it's okay." I whisper, stroking my little girl's hair back and locking my eyes with her deep blue ones. She continued to cry, tears running down her face and sliding under her chin.

"Damien, do you want to grab a tissue for your sister?" I ask. Damien agrees and stands up from his chair, walking over to a box of tissues in the corner and handing it to me.

"Thank you buddy." I say, taking the box and extracting a single tissue. I wipe Phoenix's eyes and nose in an attempt to calm her but soon there is a mess of water on her cheeks once again.

"The numbing medication should work now. You won't feel anything but a little tugging, some cracks and then more tugging." Chris promised, flicking a light on above the two and wiping down Phoenix's arm with a brown like cream.

We stayed in this position for almost 30 minutes, I kept peeking past the assistant to see some blood and clamp like metals.

Phoenix still cried, her eyes not drying out any time soon.

"Okay this is the end. Only tugging like I promised." Chris says, pulling up a needle and thread. She stitches up something and then shuts off the light. Her assistance releases Phoenix's arm and steps out of the room with the rolling table, which now holds a bloodied scalpel and pliers.

"Okay Phoe, I'm going to tell you what happened." Chris says, snapping off her gloves and throwing them away. "Your bone cracked in a place where it can't mend properly with just a cast. I had to cut it open, put in these bone holder," Chris shows a shiny silver clamp. "And then close you back up." Chris points to the 7 stitches.

"I didn't feel it." Phoenix says, eyeing her arm suspiciously.

"That was the numbing medicine. It's good that you didn't feel it." Chris looks at me to continue explaining.

"The stitches will disappear by themselves so by the time her cast comes off they should be almost gone. We're going to wait an hour, see the reaction she has to the stitches and then wrap her up." I nod and place a hand on my stomach because I felt a kick.

"How's the little one?" She asks, looking to my stomach. I gave a small smile, "Sweet, this baby is the sweetest little thing next to Damien an Phoenix."

Chris returns the smile and then whispers something about relaxing to Phoenix before leaving the room. As she slips away the door opens again to reveal Tobias.

He had a lopsided smile and messy hair from running here.

"I heard someone had a accident." Tobias breathes, his eyes jumping to Phoenix who is still holding my hand.

"Daddy, Phoenix broke her arm." Damien says walking up to Tobias with a mirroring smile.

"So I've heard." Tobias laughs, crouching in front of Damien and attempting to spike his naturally perfect hair.

"I don't think we were being easy for mommy like you made us promise." Damien admits, eyeing his shoes.

"Accidents happen. I'm sure your mommy is just glad everyone is okay." Tobias stands up and walks over to me.

"Hey Phoenix." He whispers. She looks at him with her red eyes and simply offers her hurt arm. "Wow, you did some great work here, didn't you?" Tobias gives a small laugh but Phoenix still isn't pleased.

"They had to put in bone holders to keep the crack in place. She has stitches now." I inform him, stroking back Phoenix's curls.

"Daddy my arm hurts." Phoenix says, putting her good arm up as indication to be carried. Tobias takes her into his arms and she rests her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." I say finally, once Phoenix has fallen asleep and Damien is sitting on my lap once again.

"For what?" Tobias asks me.

"I should have been watching them better. I was being a bad mother."

"No you weren't. They were being kids and they got reckless. Things happen." Tobias kisses my cheek and goes back to rocking Phoenix.

"It's going to be a sad moment when you can't rock her like that anymore." I whisper, admiring his strong arms holding her fragile body.

"I'm pretty sure I can take it for a while longer." He laughs, kissing the side of Phoenix's head.

* * *

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**-Valentina**


	28. Chapter 28- We're All Okay

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 28  
We're All Okay

|2 Weeks Later|

We were all in the pit. Music jumped around the room and our kids were having the time of their lives fighting like the older Dauntless.

Phoenix's cast was becoming warred down on the sides and she seemed almost fully healed. Another weeks and we can pop that cast right off.

"Uncle Uri, we want to go flying!" Damien, Phoenix, and Piper all demand raising their arms up and allowing Uriah to lift them above his head and swing them in a circle.

Piper screeched in excitement as she soared high above the other Dauntless. She was perfect mix of Chris and Will. She looked like a mini Chris but with those green eyes that sparkled.

Damien is a kind soul. He loves people and puts others before himself. He loves to make people laugh instead of cry.

Phoenix is wild. She can jump from the highest edge and twirl on the tables as if no one was watching. She is fearless.

"They will make great older siblings." Tobias says behind me, his hands wrapping over my swollen stomach and chin resting on my shoulder.

"4 more months," I sigh happily, leaning my head back and covering his large hands with my small ones. We began rocking slowly, Tobias' breathing filling my ears as his heart beat against my back. "We should think of names for him." I whisper.

"I do agree with you. Names would be a good asset this time." Tobias agrees, kissing the spot behind my ear that I love.

"Any ideas?" I ask looking at him through my limited vision.

"How about Jonah, Ezra, or Finley?" He asks me, a feeling of warmth consuming me at the calm names.

"Those are perfect." I say, kissing Tobias once more before looking back to the kids.

"Ow." Phoenix giggled, rubbing her already bruised forehead. She kept whacking herself with the rock hard cast at night therefore causing a bruise to appear.

Tobias and I tried to only put her good arm through the arm hole of her pajama shirt so then her cast wouldn't hit her head at night but that only made a bigger mess. Luckily Damien had a small enough belt for us to wrap a blanket around the top of her head.

"Phoenix." Tobias sighs, releasing me and scooping the small girl off the floor.

"I hit my head with the cast again daddy." Phoenix laughs, her giggles causing a smile to break on Tobias' face.

"I can see that. You've got to be careful silly, otherwise you can really get hurt."

"Okie daddy." Phoenix kissed Tobias' nose and squirmed her way down his side.

"Our third child is being born into a perfect family." I mention once Tobias returns to me and is holding my stomach.

"With a great mom." He adds.

"And an amazing dad." I kiss his pink lips and lean my forehead with his, my hand caresses his soft cheek.

"Tobias I want to see my parents again." I say softly, the topic being brought up after nights of realizing I haven't shown them my children. They don't know I'm married and expecting our third child.

Tobias' breath hitches, he isn't thinking of my parents, he's thinking of his dad, the man who destroyed him, beat him, took every shred of happiness a young Tobias had. Running into Marcus would end poorly and we have our own children to protect.

"Tris, you know…" He stops speaking for a moment, flipping the words through his mouth. "He's going to hurt them." He finally decides, sighing in disdain at the thought

"Please Tobias, just think about it. I don't want my parents feeling betrayed that I can't even tell them I'm married." I plea but not forcefully, it's Tobias' past that is the demon, he must find out what to do with it.

~.~.~

That night I sleep in Tobias' arms, nuzzled in his warmth and scent. He wanted to drop the topic of seeing my parents back in the pit but he said he'll do his best to get over what Marcus can do.

It's obviously petrifying because I feel the way Tobias squirms in his sleep. Every bad thought coming together and making a nightmare that he doesn't want to live.

Suddenly, at 2 in the morning Tobias sits up quickly, shaking the bed in the process.

I sit up with him, looking around for what caused him to be scared. When my eyes caught sight of his face it was like my stomach was stone. He was crying, tears rolling down each cheek and falling to his chest.

"Tobias," I whisper, running my fingers through his hairs and hugging him from behind.

He began to sob slightly, his hands collapsing over his eyes as his back shook with each breath. I crawled closer to his front and pulled him in so his head was resting on my shoulder.

"He hurt them. He hurt them like he hurt me." Tobias finally says after 5 minutes of sobs.

"He didn't touch them. They're asleep in their beds right now, safe and sound." I promise, kissing his hair and continuing to run my fingers through it.

We are both silent for a while longer, Tobias not crying anymore but still resting his head on my shoulder.

"Come on." I say, taking his hand and pulling him up from the bed. We silently creep across the hallway going through the first door on our left. It creeks slightly but doesn't awaken the sleeping child in the corner of the room.

"Damien is okay, you see?" I look at Tobias and he nods, understanding that the snores our son makes indicate his deep sleep. I close the door again and walk Tobias to the next room. This time no snores fill the room, only light breathing from our daughter.

"See she's also okay with my thumbs and then move my hands down his arm and to his hands. Lightly I take his two hands and place them on my swollen stomach.

I sang the soft tune I know makes the baby stir and then feel the first bump. Soft and almost unnoticeable but still there making Tobias smile.

"He's also okay." I say, placing my head on Tobias' shoulder and embracing this warmth. "We're all okay." I finally say, holding Tobias close to me despite my large stomach.

He waits a moment and then hugs me tighter, not wanting to let go until all of this fear passes.

"I love you." He says into my hair.

"I love you too, Tobias" I kiss the hollow under his neck and smile at our position.

"We should see your parents." He tells me, stroking my hair.

"No Tobias, I don't want you to have to worry about Marcus." I say watching his eyes for any sign of fear.

"And I don't want you having to keep away from your parents. We can head out tomorrow morning, if anything Marcus might be at Erudite with the other faction leaders." I wait a moment and then kiss him.

"Thank you." I say kissing him once more and then leading him back to our room.

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**-Valentina**


	29. Chapter 29- I Love Flowers

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 29  
I Love Flowers

We were catching the earliest train possible, which means early wake up call.

"Tris, Sweetie we should get the kids up now." Tobias has himself poised over me, his fingers brushing my hair back as his lips landed on my forehead. "Come on beautiful, the sooner we get there the better." He kisses both of my closed eyes and snickers at my stubbornness. He doesn't speak anymore, only rubs circles over my stomach and kisses my cheekbones and temples.

"The baby likes that." I tell him after a few minutes. He laughs again and kisses my lips.

"Good, we should get the others up now that baby three has started to stir." He climbs out of the warm bed and pulls the sheets from my body.

"You're mean." I say in a moan as I attempt to bring the non-existent blanket back to my cold body.

"I'm mean because I love you." He answers back, the bathroom light flicking on and a faucet following in suit.

I groaned at the early hours but sat up anyways. My fingers drew my hair up into a ponytail and then I groggily walked to the first door on my left.

"Morning D Man." I whispered into the room, Damien's snores stopping and his eyes opening. "We're leaving for breakfast soon, why don't you hop into the shower?" I suggest, he yawns and climbs from his bed.

"Okay." He says, walking past me, toward the bathroom next to Phoenix's door.

"Good boy." I say, stroking his hair and kissing his forehead. He gave me a kiss on my cheek and then padded away.

I walked into his room and pulled the sheets around so they lay perfectly on his bed, finally laying the two pillows next to the head of the bed. I opened his drawers and pulled out a pair of dark denim jeans along with a black short sleeves and a pair of tiny boxers.

I leave the room satisfied by the organization and head for Phoenix's door. When I open the door she lays in her bed, her casted hand hanging over the edge as her tank top wrapped around her in an amuck way.

"Hey Phoe, time to wake up baby girl." I say lightly, helping my daughter sit up in her bed and stroking back her red curls.

"Hi Mommmy." Phoenix replied yawning in the process. I pulled open her nightstand's bottom drawer and pulled out the orange pill bottle. Many pills sat in the childproof container, my hands opening it up and taking a single white tablet.

"Here you go." I hand her the pill and take the glass of water on her nightstand. "Swallow, don't chew." I warn her, she takes a large gulp in return and swallows the small pill.

"Good girl. I think your brother is out of the shower. Why don't you go and get ready?" I suggest, she nods and hands me back the glass. She leaves the room with a rub of her eyes but small smile brimming her lips. I fix her bed like I did with Damien's and then chose her outfit consisting off black leggings and a dark red shirt.

Once again I leave the room and head for my own now.

When I enter the room Tobias his running his fingers through his short wet hair.

"The kids up?" Tobias asks when he turns to find me.

"Yes they are." I reply, kissing his cheek and heading for our bathroom.

"Good, I'll make our bed and unload the dishwasher while you're I there." He says, giving me a grin before I disappear behind the door.

"Love you." I call past the door.

"Love you more lovely!" He replies, the drawer closing and the sheets of our bed being shuffled.

I flip the tap on and strip of my pajamas, my appearance in the mirror showing a different woman from 6 months ago.

I was still short and thin like always but my stomach bulged out and my hair was once again skimming my shoulders in light curls. I cut it again because I felt like it suited me better but my plan is to grow it out just a little longer then my shoulders.

The baby kicked me slightly, dragging me out of my self-evaluation but making me smile.

"Yes baby, mommy will be getting into the shower now." I say, getting into the warm stream of water.

I washed off and paid attention to my stomach most, embracing the thought of my baby lying inside. My singing was causing him to stir and run against my stomach.

"Just like your brother and sister." I tell him once my singing ends, remembering how the twins would move like this baby while I sang.

I went through one more song before shutting off the warm water and stepping out of the shower. I wrapped my towel around my chest and headed out off the bathroom to see the bed made and the sound of Tobias and kids cleaning out the dishwasher and probably folding the laundry.

I pull on a pair of black leggings and a tank top, finally fitting my leather jacket around my shoulders. My fingers brush through my short curls and then I leave the room.

"The laundry is done!" Phoenix announced loudly, running to me with open arms. I take her up on my hip and kiss her nose.

"Thank you guys. Are you ready to go for some early morning breakfast?" I ask, quickly glancing at the clock to read 6:02am.

"Why are we up so early anyways?" Damien asks me, standing up from the rug and grabbing his shoes.

"Because daddy and I decided to go and visit someone very special to me." I tell him, placing Phoenix on the floor and taking the hair tie from around her wrist. I pull her hair up into a long ponytail and snap the hair tie on.

"Who?" Damien asks me, tying his shoelaces.

"They are my parents. Your grandma and grandpa." I tell him, slipping on my combat boots and tightening the laces on both of the kids' shoes.

Tobias comes back from putting away the folded laundry and throws on his sweatshirt.

"Here kids, we don't want you getting to cold." Tobias hands the kids their hoodies.

"Thanks daddy." Both kids reply in unison, throwing on the hoodies and racing each other for the doorknob.

I take Tobias' hand in mine giving him a quick smile before we head out for the door.

He takes his hand out of mine but quickly pulls me into his side, his arm holding me as close at possible. I snuggle into him and inhale his familiar smell.

"Even after waking up at 5:30 they are full of energy." Tobias tells me, snickering as our kids run ahead of us.

"Trust me, they'll be knocked out during the train ride." I say, kissing his neck.

"Hopefully, otherwise we will have to lug them through Abnegation." He returns the kiss on my forehead. "I'm going to sound crazy saying this but you always smell like Lavender while you are pregnant." I look up at him with an arch of my eyebrow. "What?" He laughs shrugging at my expression. "It's just something I realized now, lavender while you're pregnant and lilies when you're not."

"So either way I smell like a flower." I laugh, my smile growing.

"I love flowers." He promises, kissing me softly before we continued towards the cafeteria.

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**-Valentina**


	30. Chapter 30- Illuminated Grey Houses

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 30  
Illuminated Grey Houses

Tobias and I sat next to one another on the train, both kids laid on the floor with their heads on our legs as they caught up on lost sleep.

"We're going to be there soon." Tobias tells me, his kisses along my neck stopping momentarily as his warm breath hits my neck. I could only laugh as he trailed down my shoulder and back up again with those delicate butterfly kisses.

"I love it when you do this." I tell him as my fingers tangle in his hair.

"Good." He whispers next to my ear. I close my eyes momentarily, the outside morning light being covered by darkness. When I open them again I see the rising sun illuminate grey houses, memories began to flood me as I remember those streets I walked through as a little girl in my too tight bun and over sized grey dresses.

"Come on guys, we've got to jump soon." Tobias shakes his legs lightly; I follow his lead and then help both kids stand with the extra wind blowing through the open door. The kids distinctly grab the edge of the door and look ahead for clear grass.

"On Three." Damien says, Phoenix nodding in agreement.

"1, 2, 3" They launch themselves from the door and roll through the grass between heavy laughs. Tobias and I jump next, landing not to far away from the kids.

"You okay?" Tobias asks me, running a hand over my stomach.

"Perfectly fine." I promise, kissing him quickly and heading towards the kids.

"Daddy I want to sit on your shoulders please." Phoenix lifts her hands in the air towards Tobias. He lifts her up and sits her on his shoulders. "Thank you." She says, holding his head for balance.

"Come on Damien." I say, giving him my hand, which he holds to gleefully.

We walk for a few minutes, past many people dressed in grey who stare at our strange appearances. I guess it was weird to see Dauntless members not screaming and jumping one another. We would pass for a normal Abnegation family aside from the clothing, piercings on mine and Phoenix's ears and Tobias and my tattoos.

I guess we do look out of place by a long shot. Phoenix and I both have our earlobes pierced and she's got a matching helix piercing like mine upon request but that's about it.

"Do you know the way?" Tobias asks me, sticking close to me suddenly. I know that Marcus' house is close by, so I turn a different path to my house, cutting through the alleyway.

It takes us another 5 minutes but we finally arrives at my doorstep, my fingers curling into a fist as I prepare to knock on my childhood door.

"They should know." Tobias says, kissing the back of my head. I nod to myself and then tap the door. It was almost 9am. Both my parents would be up by now, enjoying their day off work.

I hear the shuffling of light footsteps inside and then a click form the only lock on the door. My father's face is the first thing I see.

~.~.~

"Beatrice." My father's voice is heavy with shock and I can hardly reply because I'm busy looking at his face. His hair is mostly grey now, but I can still see the dark brown. His face has wrinkles but not the kind that grow from smiling, the ones that grow from scowling.

"Hi dad." I offer a weak smile as tears brim my eyes. "Kids say hi to your grandpa." I suggest in a tight voice as Tobias places Phoenix on the floor.

Damien approaches him first, looking to the hands of my father. He carefully takes his right hand and shakes it like a gentleman.

"Hi grandpa." Damien smiles, my dad giving him one back. "I'm Damien."

"Hi." Phoenix says behind Damien who still holds the hand of my dad. "I'm Phoenix."

"Dad these are your grandchildren, they turned 5 two weeks ago."

"They're 5?" My dad looks at me suddenly, counting in his head. "You had them when you were 18?" He asks, his eyes furrowing in disturbance.

"Yes, and they were the best things that have happened." I say defensively, knowing my being a young mom doesn't please him.

"Andrew? Who's at the door Darling?" My mother comes from the kitchen, wiping her hands with a washcloth but stopping suddenly.

"Beatrice." She sighs, her hands releasing the towel.

"Mom," I smile and my tears actually fall this time. Dad moves out of the way and I run to hug mom. I hear Tobias thank my dad for welcoming us inside and the door shutting.

I wrap my arms around my mom and she doesn't hesitate a moment before hugging back. I cry into the crook of her neck as she cries into my hair.

"My girl, what are you doing here?" She asks me, pushing me back slightly and stroking my blonde hair.

"I wanted to see you guys. To show you my family." I say with a small laugh. "Those are your grandchildren Damien and Phoenix and baby 3 is still hanging out in here." I stroke my stomach, my mom looks down and smiles at my swollen stomach. She runs a hand over it and begins to cry again.

"How far along are you?" She asks, meeting my eyes again.

"6 months." I tell her.

"And the Damien and Phoenix?"

"They're 5 now."

"Twins?" She asks, I nod with a smile. "Are you and Tobias married?"

"Yeah, we got married after the twins were born." I say, smiling at Tobias who sits with my dad.

"You have to tell us more." My mom exasperates, walking me to the couch and offering me to sit next to Tobias. The kids both introduce themselves to my mom but instead of taking the handshake my mom embraces them.

"Are you guys hungry?" She asks the two but they shake their heads and reply with a "No thank you."

"I know what you can do." Mom finally decides, standing up and heading for a shelf in the corner of the room. She opens up the door and pulls out a box, walking back to the kids and handing it to them.

"Your mom and uncle would play with this game for hours when they were your age."

"Thank you." Phoenix says, taking the board game and going to the kitchen table to play with it. Damien follows her, leaving the 4 of us to talk.

"They're beautiful." My mom says, a whisper of a smile spreading on her lips.

"Beatrice was young when they were born." Dad sighs while mom catches his eyes and glares at him.

"Look I- we may have been young but they are great kids. Tobias is the best dad any child can ask for and we got married. We are a family." I say, my hands running over my stomach.

"That still doesn't excuse you from doing what you did at your age with a guy that you hardly knew." My dad throws back.

"I do know Tobias, he and I have been together for 7 years now. Yes we were young, and yes it was sudden but we love each other."

"Sir, if I may," Tobias starts, my dad nodding for him to continue. "Tris and I, we have a lot to deal with at times. I mean the kids may seem healthy but they were born at 7 months, Tris was having triplets but the 3rd was nothing but stuck at 2 months. Phoenix sees things; she can hear voices that aren't there. She has schizophrenia; she takes medication for the hallucinations every morning. Damien was born with an undeveloped lung, he had surgery at only 3 weeks and we have our names on a waiting list for a lung transplant that can take years to get on the top off. Our house is clean our children are well mannered. Tris does that, everyday she is there with them while I'm working. You can say we were to young but we know what we are doing, we may not always know but we get through that together."

My parents stare at us with speechless awes.

"Do you know what gender the baby is?" My mom asks me, her words not fitting in with what Tobias just said.

"A boy, he's due before September." I smile.

"Do you have any names?" She ventures into the conversation.

"Tobias suggested the names Jonah, Finley, and Ezra."

"Those are beautiful." My dad says suddenly, fixing his hair with two fingers.

"Thanks." Tobias smiles, rubbing my back.

"Look I know you guys probably aren't proud about this but I'm happy. Those kids are my whole world."

"Like you and Caleb were ours." Dad chokes out, tears brimming his eyes.

"I now understand how much it must have hurt you guys to lose the both of us. I mean I would be devastated if Phoenix or Damien left Tobias and I forever but it was a good choice for me to pick Dauntless. I feel normal there apposed to here." I say, gesturing to the grey room.

"Won't you guys get in trouble for breaking faction loyalty?" My mother asks.

"No, we left in the early hours of the morning. Returning would only look like we have been training the kids to jump the train." Tobias answers, leaning back in the couch with me.

"Can they do that?" Dad asks. "Jump the train on their own?" He adds.

"Sometimes," I start. "Phoenix sometimes goes on Tobias's back when she's not up to it but I think Damien has gotten it down." I say with a faint smile.

"They seem like great kids." Mom looks to the kitchen where Phoenix is accusing Damien of cheating.

"They are." I promise, smiling at her.

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**-Valentina**


	31. Chapter 31- Reminds Me of Home

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 31  
Reminds Me Of Home

"Mommy, Phoenix keeps winning." Damien says sadly as they enter the living room an hour later.

"That's okay, you'll get it eventually. Maybe Phoe can teach you how she wins." I suggest, Phoenix entering close behind.

"We got bored." She complies, placing the board game back into the shelf neatly.

"I wish I could see Piper and Izzy." Damien sighs, sitting on the rug.

"Who are Piper and Izzy?" Dad asks, trying to indulge the kids into a conversation.

"They are our best friends." Phoenix smiles proudly.

"Yeah. Piper is 3 and Izzy is just a baby but they are really fun to be with." Damien continues.

"And mommy and daddy are friends with their mommies and daddies." Phoenix elaborates.

"Chrisy and Will are Piper's parents. Zeke and Shauna are Izzy's. Her real name is Izabel though." Damien explains.

"What do they look like?" Mom dwells forward the conversation, enjoying their rapid speaking and happy smiles.

"Piper looks like Chrisy. She has brown hair like Chrisy and green eyes like Will." Phoenix describes.

"And Izzy has blonde hair like Shauna and big hazel eyes like Zeke." Damien giggles.

"They sound like beautiful young ladies." Dad says, offering a smile. I notice Phoenix furrow her eyebrows. Never has she been the one to worry about her appearance, her hair can fly amuck and she could be dirt covered for hours on end and not care, just like any normal 5 year old but she suddenly noticed something odd. Many people claim she is a beautiful little girl but she never paid attention to it. She said thank you and proceeded to roll in the dirt. But now standing here and listing to her grandpa call two other girls he has never seen pretty, I believe she has become self-conscious.

With two careful hands, she adjusts her red curls and attempts to cover the scratch on her forehead and then steps towards my parents.

"Am I beautiful Grandpa?" She tests, looking into his eyes with her innocent stare. He takes her upper arms gently and brings her forward, closer to him.

"Phoenix, my dear you and your brother are the most beautiful children I have ever seen. Just a perfect mix of your mommy and daddy." He promises, kissing her forehead. She laughs a little and wraps her arms around his neck.

"You're pretty too Grandpa." She compliments, making him laugh as he sits her on his lap. Damien settles beside my mom, laying into her and she runs her fingers up and down his arm the way she did to me as a child.

"How'd this happen?" Dad asks Phoenix, pointing to her cast.  
"Damien and me wanted cookies so we climbed the table but I fell down and broke it,"

"In half!" Damien adds.

"Like a twig." Phoenix finishes with a shrug, my parents laugh at their joke. They decided to explain the cast to people that way after a night of whispers through the wall.

"And let me guess, this was from whacking your head with it." Dad points to the red scrape and bruise across her forehead.

"Yup. I can't trust myself at night. Mommy and daddy say it's because I move to much." She sighs, rubbing her forehead slightly.

"You should take a peek at Damien's incredible scar." Tobias suggests, motioning to Damien's chest.

"Oh yeah!" Damien remembers, hoping off the couch and lifting his shirt. "It was from when I was a baby. The doctors say it will make a good outline for my transplant." At this my parents frown.

"How high up on the list are you?" Mom asks, running a tentative finger over the scar.

"We don't know. So far there are no signs of difficulties except for a few chest pains. Doctors said that the only way to judge his oxygen levels is when he's at least 10. That's when they adjust his standing on the list and figure out if he needs an oxygen tank or not." I explain.

"What about training in Dauntless?" Mom asks, welcoming Damien back next to her.

"He should be fine, I mean with Phoenix around the two are active 24/7. It's a good for him to use his lung to his highest capacity at all times." Tobias answers.

"That's good, I guess." Dad smiles weakly.

"So mom," I start, witching the conversation. "How's Susan?" I ask, remembering how I ran into Robert during my initiation after he left for Amity.

"Fine. She married Patrick a year ago. Do you remember him? He was the boy who teased you when you guys were in kindergarten." She laughs at the thought of my petty childhood problems.

"Yes, I do remember Patrick. That meanie loved to pull my pig tails." I exasperate.

"Yes well they got married and now have triplets." She smiles. My stomach churns at the though of my miscarried baby. I would have had three babies had the third been developing at a normal rate. Instead of allowing the sadness consume me, I smile brightly and speak.

"Triplets? That's so sweet!"

"Yes, three identical little girls. All have Roberts black hair and her grey eyes."

"When were they born?" Tobias asks.

"3 weeks ago. Susan is still adjusting but I think all is well." Dad says.

"You know what? I think it is almost lunch time. If Tobias and the kids would like to help us make the food you can head over to see her. She's in house twenty- four." Mom suggests as we all rise.

"Alright. I'll see you all soon." I wave and exit the house, jumping the porch steps despite that being inappropriate behavior. I head down the block and knock on the door of Susan and Patrick's house. A man with black hair and green eyes gets the door, he has aged from the young boy that pulled my hair but none-the-less he looks the same.

"Patrick," I smile.

"Beatrice?" He questions, trying to figure out if it is truly me.

"Yup, came by for a visit with my parents and thought about swinging by to say hi to you, Susan, and the girls." I smiles, rocking on my toes and heals.

"Sure, come in. Do you mind keeping Susan occupied while I quickly go and buy more milk and butter. I'll only take like 15 minutes." He points behind himself at the stairs and I nod.

"Go ahead. I'll take care of them." I promise. He thanks me and leaves I look around the grey house.

"Patrick? Dear, who was at the door?" A voice calls from the room upstairs. I walk upstairs and peek my head through the door.

"Surprise." I say quietly, noticing a crib in the corner.

"Beatrice? You look so different." Susan exasperates, I walk to her as she lays in bed and give her hug.

"I heard you had some pretty babies." I say with a smile. "Thought I drop by and see all of you."

"Three little girls, asleep in their crib as we speak. Delilah, Katherine, and Julia. You can sneak a peek if you'd like." I walk to the crib with my lightest steps and look to the three black haired girls. I gasp and look to Susan.

"Beautiful!" I mouth to her, admiring the babies a second longer and then going back to the bed. I sit at Susan's feet.

"Patrick went to buy Milk and Butter by the way. I'm here for all of your needs." I say, crossing my legs.

"Well why don't you tell me about yourself since I don't need anything but someone to talk to."

"Well I'm married, have two kids and another on the way." I say with a smile and rub of my stomach. Susan's eyes widen at the realization of my stomach.

"Wow Beatrice, three kids?" She asks, and I nod.

"Damien and Phoenix, they're five." I say.

"But that would mean-"

"Yes I'm a young mom." I say quickly. "It was an accident but a good one because they are great kids." We drop my young mother topic immediately.

"How far along are you?" She ask, nodding to my stomach.

"6 months. It's a boy." I smile.

"Congrats." Just then a baby begins to whimper in the crib. Susan starts to rise but I settle her back down. I walk to the crib and pick up the baby crying on the right.

"Hi little girl," I whisper, rocking the baby in an up/down left/right motion. She instantly begins to calm herself, watching my eyes with great caution.

"That's Katherine." Susan says as I continue rocking.

"Hey baby, you're as cute as a button." I say, taping her nose and making a faint smile grow on her lips. "How on earth do your mommy and daddy tell you three apart?" I ask her. "I'm sure they know."

"In fact they all have some beauty mark we use for identification purposes." Susan laughs. I do the same. "Delilah has a birth mark on the back of her leg, Katherine has one on her neck and Julia has one by her belly button."

"Wow, nice imprints." I say, running my finger over the dark mark.

"Special touch." Susan says, I laugh once again and place the now sleeping Katherine back next to her sisters.

"They're precious." I say, sitting on the bed once again.

"So, you may have noticed my being married to Patrick. What about you, who's the lucky guy?"

"Tobias. He was my initiation instructor and now my husband and father of my kids." I smile spinning my ring and wedding band. We hear the door downstairs open and close, my instincts telling me it's time to leave. "It was good seeing you Susan. Take care of those little girls." I hug her once more.

"Thanks Beatrice. You come visit again, it was nice seeing you." I smile and leave the room, shutting the door and creeping down the stairs.

"Good seeing you again Patrick." I give him a hug and he returns it.

"You too Tris. Have a good one." He waves me out the door and I head back to my parents home. When I enter lunch is ready and as a family we sit and eat the warm soup and home made bread I once had taken for granted but now what to eat forever because it reminds me of home.

* * *

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**-Valentina**


	32. Chapter 32- Brown Curls

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 32  
Brown Curls

|2 months later|

I felt this surge of pain while lying on the couch and watching the faction news with Tobias. His hand was already working on my back, trying to release these knots that have formed because I'm getting so large. Instantly I shift in discomfort and his hand stops.

"You okay?" He asks me, trying to keep his voice low for the children who are fast asleep. It was almost 12am and I could hardly sleep so Tobias carried me out here, turned on the TV for distraction and began massaging my back with his strong hands.

"Yeah, he just kicked." I disregard, going back to where I was and allowing Tobias' hand to massage my back again. He started on my spine, going up and down, the lower area feeling better as he went.

Once again I felt the pain and moved away, Tobias didn't seem to take this as the baby kicking again.

"Tris," He says, my eyes meeting his. "Do we need to go to the infirmary?" He asks me probably noticing how my eyes fill with tears.

"No," I decide, shaking my head and shifting closer to him. "It's probably just another false alarm, like last week." I tell him. He's silent for a moment, working over what I just said and then realizing there is no need to fight me. So once again he works on my back until my eyes finally get heavy and my breathing lightens. Soon everything around me becomes oblivious and then I'm asleep.

~.~.~

I awaken with his arms around me and another on my back. He probably carried me to bed and continued massaging. I removed his arm from around me and stood up from the bed, walking straight for the bathroom only to stop short because water began to fall from my leg. I did have to pee but I don't think this is that kind of bodily fluid.

"Tobias." I whisper, still standing in place. He opens his eyes and looks at me with those two squinted orbs.

"Tris, sweetie what's wrong?" He asks, probably unable to notice what surrounds my feet.

"My water broke." I tell him calmly, still frozen where I stand. He however gets to his feet immediately and looks at the mess on the floor. He heads out to the entrance and pulls towels from the entrance closet, coming back to me to clean up the mess and help me to the bathroom.

"Undress, I'll throw these in the wash." He leaves me momentarily; I get my clothes off before her returns. He flips the tap on and undresses himself, following me inside the shower. From there he proceeds to help me shower while the contractions are ten minutes apart and only last for twenty seconds. I allow him to lather my hair and scrub down my body, kissing my stomach and whispering something about seeing him soon. I smile at his sweetness and then rinse off, allowing Tobias to quickly shower before we both get out. I wrap a towel around me and waddle out of the bathroom, pulling a new pair of underwear on along with Tobias's sweat pants and shirt. He wears jeans and a loose black shirt, shaking his hair dry and then sitting me on the edge of the bed. He brushes my hair out and then helps me to the living room where I'm left for a few minutes so he can make the bed and call us a babysitter.

"Chris is at the infirmary but Will is going to come over with Piper to watch the kids in a few minutes. He said give him half an hour." Tobias says, emerging through the bedroom once I feel a familiar pain like last nights.

"Good, Tobias it's starting to hurt again." I say lightly, closing my eyes in pain.

"I'm sorry sweetie." He comes to me and runs a calming hand over my stomach. It passes quickly leaving me with an agonized stare at Tobias. He shuffles onto the couch behind me, placing me between his legs so then I can lie back on his chest. I take his hand and allow the other one to run up and down my side. I feel the next contraction not 10 minutes later, this time lasting longer can causing me more pain. I grip Tobias' hand and he whispers into my ear some words I can't understand through my haze.

"Good job Tris. You're doing just fine." With those words the phone on the coffee table rings and my eyes fly to the door in hopes that Will is here.

"Hello." Tobias answers, his hand staying on my side.

"Will, I don't understand. How can the infirmary be closed?" Tobias' voice rings in my head and I nearly flip trying to hear in on the conversation.

"All patients are being sent to the apartment of Dr. Quin. The infirmary had a gas leakage. Just take Tris to apartment A31, Chris is getting one of the bedrooms set up for her." Will's voice is distant but I can only think of one thing.

"Ask if they have any medication." I tell Tobias rapidly.

"Will there be any medicine for the pain? Come on man giving birth must require something."

"Listen Four, gas leakage means damages to all medical products. A new shipment is coming from Amity and Erudite but that's going to take 3 days. Not to mention the disposal and sorting of the new medicine, no one is getting any form of pill or liquid in them for at least a week." My heart begins to pound. The pain is already strenuous enough and it will only get worse. I NEED PAIN MEDICATION!  
"How busy is Dr. Quin's place?" Tobias asks with a sigh.

"Pretty busy. Chris managed to get a room but Dr. Quin has been everywhere trying to help everyone."

"Can Chris leave?" Tobias ventures forward.  
"I don't know it was her day off but Quin called her back. Why?" Will responds.

"Can she deliver a baby?"

"Pretty much."

"Okay, tell her to get over here and to help Tris have this baby because we aren't going to wait for Dr. Quin to do it." Tobias' voice leaves no room for argument.

"I'll do what I can. I'm sure Chris can go to you guys. I'll take the kids to my place." With that the phone runs silent and I look to Tobias fearfully.

"I don't want to do this." I say finally.

"You'll be fine. Chris will help you and I will be here with you the whole time." Tobias kisses my head and holds my hand again just as another contraction hits.

~.~.~

I managed to fall asleep, remembering how the pain will increase and there will be no room for rest afterwards. It was a light sleep, my mind clouded but managing to stay secluded to this world of sleep despite pain tearing through my abdomen.

After what I thought was only 10 minutes but turned out to be 6 hours I awaken on my bed once again. A plastic layer was under me, a light blanket draped over my naked bottom. I could hear voices from outside the room, Tobias and Chris being the most prominent but I could hear hints of Marlene, Shauna, and Lynn.

Suddenly my mind jumps back to my baby, a pain emerged from no where causing me to cry out and clutch to my belly. The door opens and the first to me is Tobias, followed by Chris while the others stay at the doorway.

"It hurts." I sob loudly, trying to curl up as best as possible.

"Shh, I'm here baby. The pain won't last much longer." Tobias kisses my forehead and runs his fingers through my hair. I continue to sob, taking in heavy gulps of air every so often because my breathing was uneven.

"Just breathe." Chris told me, realizing this abnormality in air take in.

"It hurts." I say again, turning my head so it's pressed against Tobias' thigh. Chris heads to the corner of the room and pulls up a small tank, a mask following the cord connecting the two. She returns to me and tells Tobias to prop me up. He fixes the pillows behind me and pulls me up against his chest again, my body resting between his legs. I try to curl up again but Chris presses my legs back down and holds my head straight, slipping on a mask over my mouth and nose. The tank is opened allowing air to be forced in and out of my lungs.

"Breathe Tris, just breathe." She whispers in a calm voice, stroking my hair back. I continue to cry after the pain lightens but still exists.

"I thought the gas leakage meant not medicine." Tobias says, looking at the tank.

"It's oxygen and Dr. Quin had a few tanks at his place, which I managed to sneak past him. I knew that pain would lead to lack of oxygen so I brought it for this case. She has enough oxygen for about 7-10 hours." Chris explains, fixing the black strap around my head so it's tucked behind my ear.

"How far am I?" I croak out, trying to talk past the mask.

"Almost 6 centimeters. You're moving pretty fast, which is good and bad. Good because it will be over soon and bad because it hurts more and can cause vaginal damage. Since you already had 2 babies though I think you will be fine." I nod and squeeze Tobias' hand as another contraction hits.

"Good girl, just breathe. Almost there." Chris encourages, reading her watch for the length of my contractions. "Two minutes." She concludes once my knuckles flush with blood once again and I release my death grip on Tobias' hand. "I hope you don't mind but I needed extra hands so I called Marlene, Shauna, and Lynn. The guys are caring for the kids."

"Hey sweet cheeks." Shauna says, climbing onto the bed next to Tobias and I and wiping my cheek. I give her a weak smile once she cracks one herself. "I'm in charge of holding one of your legs while you push that football outta ya, oh and taking care of your every need and want." She states.

"Well you can give birth to the baby for me." I laugh painfully, she laughs as well and scoots closer.

"Here, lets get your hair up." She moves my head to the side and pulls my hair back, snapping an elastic in and allowing me to place my head back on Tobias' chest.

"I get to clean up the baby after you have him." Marlene says, folding a few large towels I don't remember owning.

"And lucky me, I get your other leg." Lynn fake whoops and plops down on top of the dresser.

"Thanks guys." I say hazily, right before the pain increases and my hands clench Tobias'.

"I'm here to hold you. I promise to never let go." Tobias says as I cry into his bicep.

"Still two minutes long." Chris sighs, standing up from the edge of the bed and searching through her black medical bag. She pulls out a box and removes two gloves. "Legs up." She commands I do as told. She looks and then nods at me. "You jumped a whole two centimeters. I'd say three more contractions and then we should be able to have this baby." She snaps her gloves off and tosses them in the garbage. I put my legs down and hastily try to get comfortable. To no avail I sit up, crunching forward so then my back is available for Tobias to rub. He needs no command, naturally his hands get to work, focusing on my lower back since I find that the most tight.

Three more contractions passed and just like Chris suspected: I was ready to push.

"Alright Shauna take her left leg and pull back. Lynn you get her right. Marlene stood behind Lynn, ready with a towel and gloves on. Chris told Tobias to remove my mask since it will get in the way.

Shauna and Lynn drew my legs back as Tobias sat us up to an 50o angle.

"Next contraction Tris, you're going to have to push." Chris commands, I nod and feel a familiar tingle in my abdomen. Then the pain rushed in, causing me to bear forward. I pushed and yelped in pain before falling back.

"Good job." Chris said, Tobias pressed my hair back and wiped my forehead with a small, cold towel.

"That's it Tris. You're being to brave." Tobias whispers to me, kissing my ear. I bear forward again and clench both hands with Tobias' praying not to break any of his fingers.

"It hurts too much." I say, falling back and realizing I've only been pushing for 6 seconds.

"Take your time. Whatever feels right to you." Chris says calmly, I thank her every second for not sounding above me like Dr. Quin did while I delivered the twins.

I start again, counting up to 10 before releasing.

"His head is almost halfway out. Keep going." Chris cheers me on. I push again and feel more pressure as his head works its way out.

"His head's out." Chris says with a laugh. "Two more and then you're done." I hold her to that as I push again, and feel his shoulders slide free. My last push, Chris tugs slightly and then blissful release.

I begin to cry as I hear my baby's loud whimpers. Marlene places the towel on my chest and Chris places him over it.

Tobias begins to cry himself as we work together to wipe the fluid and blood from his trembling body. Once cleaned, I pull the towel around him and lean back with his head against my neck.

"Our baby," I say softly, tears of happiness still falling from my eyes.

"He's so beautiful." Tobias says, stroking back our boy's brown curls. "Thank you Tris." He sobs, kissing my head and pulling me tighter in him.

Together we admire our boy as Chris cuts the cord and deals with the after brith. From there she takes a quick weigh in and examination of him, scribbling down her notes.

36 weeks, 18.6 inches long, 6.3 pounds. The notes read, I smiled at how perfect he was.

"Alright why don't you go and help Tris shower? I can bathe the baby and dress him in something new before you feed him." Chris suggests, taking him off the bed and into her arms.

"Okay." I say, watching her exit and allowing Tobias to slip from behind me.

"You did so good." He promises, scooping me up and helping me to the bathroom.

"He needs a name." I say, after I'm bathed and being helped into a large pair of sweatpants.

"Yes he does." Tobias agrees, placing me on the plastic free bad and pulling the covers up to my now flat stomach.

"I like Ezra." I say, remembering the name from when Tobias suggested it.

"Ezra." Tobias tries it out, looking away for a moment before looking back at me. "Very unique." He says with a nod.

"We have a kid named Phoenix. This is nothing compared to her name." I say with a laugh.

"I like it a lot. Ezra Andrew Eaton. Our brave boy."

* * *

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**-Valentina**


	33. Chapter 33- Tomorrow Will Be Better

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 33  
Tomorrow Will Be Better

|2 Quick Shots|

I hold to Ezra as his grey-green eyes catch the sight of his sister making goofy faces at him. His back was pressed against my chest thanks to the baby carrier. The kids were waiting for the train, two men with few tattoos were trying to gather the group that was heading off to school. Older kids had yet to arrive while the younger dauntless have been left early. I stay to watch them get on the train, hoping that they get off at the proper stop and listen to their teachers rules.

"You guys be good okay?" I ask, both of them nod and plant kisses on Ezra's head and my cheek.

Just as they look at the tracks we hear a familiar clicking and watch the large cart come barreling our way.

"Love you!" I call, waving as they run for the train and hop on with perfect balance. That was all Tobias, he was the one to teach them how to jump while I watched form inside the cart.

"Hey Tris," Shauna approaches with her almost 2 year old daughter clinging to her hand.

"Hi guys." I say, walking back inside with her.

"How's Ezra?" She asks, scooping Izzy into her arms and walking down the stairs.

"Getting bigger. Almost 2 months old now and just loves to eat." I laugh as he sticks out his tongue. "He just discovered that licking his lips and covering them in saliva is a fun pass–by." I inform her, wiping the drool on his lips with a small towel. "How's Izzy?"

"She can finally reach the cabinet handles. I had to redecorate." She said, pointing the ring of duct-tape that Izabel has been clinging to. "After taping the cabinets shut she took great interest in the roll and will give me that sad look every time I try to take it." We laugh at her daughter while she gnaws on the roll.

"I can't believe they are already starting school." I exasperate as we round the corner and head for the pit. Today was not only the first day of school for my children but it was also the first day of initiation with the new dauntless. This year we got a good group of 18 transfers and 23 dauntless born.

"So are you helping train today?" I ask, watching as Zeke exited the training room of the dauntless born with the large group behind him. He orders 10 laps around the compound.

"That's my duty. If anyone questions the baby then they will be getting a good old fist to the face. You helping Four?"

"Yes I am. Little Ezra gets full coverage." I say, wiggling his little feet. Shauna laughs and waves at us.

"See you at lunch." She says, walking to Zeke. I round the next corner and enter the training room where Tobias must be situated.

"Ah finally. My wife and your trainer Six has joined us. She and I share the same power so respect that." I stand beside Tobias and give a good look over the large group. Solid looking, thank god we don't have to cut them anymore.

"Who's the baby?" Someone called, must be one of the Candor.

"Our son, Ezra. He also has more power than you." I say making everyone laugh.

"Alright what do you say to letting them warm up?" Tobias whispers to me.

"10 laps around the compound?" I suggest.

"Sure."

"Okay 10 laps around the compound everyone. Let's go." We lead the group out and watch as they begin the run under the sun.

"I'm glad you're helping me train the transfers." Tobias says to me, looking at the sun.

"I'm glad I'm able to come back. I missed being Six the trainer." I say, stroking the soft curls of Ezra.

"Soon he will be doing this." Tobias decides, holding my hand.

"Oh really?" I ask.

"Yeah, I think all of our kids will make good Dauntless." He smiles.

"Me too." I agree, smiling back.

~.~.~

Winter came without mercy. Tobias was back in the control room and I was back at home caring for Ezra and sending the kids off to school each morning. We reached new lows this year, reaching nearly -15 degrees Celsius. Of course with this weather the kids were bound to get sick.

It all went a-wire from there.

Gagging, heaving, crying. Those were the sounds I came to at 4 in the morning. Tobias stayed in bed sleeping because he had work at 5.

"Shh, good girl. Just get it out." I tell Phoenix, running my hand over her back. She heaved another load and sniffled back her tears.

"Are you done?" I ask as she gripped the brim of the toilet in my bathroom. She shrugged in response. "Here let's clean your nose." I suggest, she tilts her head up and I wipe the snot leaking down her nasal passages. I drop the tissue in the toilet and get a new one for her mouth. I clean away the vomit traces and flush the toilet.

Her body trembled as she sweats through her pajamas. After deciding whether I should bathe her now or after she finished vomiting I picked her off my bathroom floor and crept across the hall to her bathroom. In there I left her by the toilet in case and brought in a pillow and blanket.

"Sleep on the rug, if you have to throw up you can get to the toilet easier." I tell her lying her down on the pillow and covering her body with the blanket. She coughed heavily and curled into herself, crying lightly but not looking as green. I run my fingers through her hair and turn off the lights, easing her back to sleep as I try to stay awake.

An hour passes and I hear Tobias leave for work. And so it begins.

Damien awakens next, he looks pale, and stumbles as he walks through the hallway. He probably went for me.

"Damien?" I ask, turning him around and crouching to meet his droopy eyes.

"I don't feel good." He tells me, continuing to sway as I attempt to hold him.

"Do you have to throw up?" I ask him, feeling the burning forehead of my son. He nods and closes his eyes. I carry him to my bathroom and situate him by the toilet. He lazily looks around and then hurls into the porcelain.

"I rub his back like I did with Phoenix until he stops and wipes his nose and mouth with the tissue I offer.

I grab his pillow and blanket and set him up on the floor, shutting the bathroom lights off and checking on Ezra quickly.

He still slept calmly, disease not consuming his little body.

I run between bathrooms all day, cleaning up vomit from the faces of my crying children while trying to feed Ezra who did not stop fussing from the moment he awoken.

"Tobias Eaton answer the damn phone!" I demand into the receiver for the billionth time. Apparently he has a filter ringtone that only blocks out the most important phone calls.

"You've reached Four. Leave a message." I shut my phone off and slam it hard on the counter, making Ezra cry louder.

"I'm sorry Ezra, please don't cry!" I beg, trying to get him to latch onto the bottle once again.

"MOMMY!" Damien sobs. At this point I want my mommy as well.

"Coming Damien!" I call back, placing Ezra on his moon pillow in the living room and running to the bathroom. Damien was at it again, vomiting the soda crackers I fed him along with a ton of water. He finally stops but not for a good reason. His body slumps forward and had I not been holding his chest in an attempt to release the pressures, I'm sure his head would be in the toilet.

"Damien?" I say rapidly, placing his limp body on the ground and wiping his nose and mouth with many tissues. I feel for a heartbeat, trying to focus on my son and not the crying baby in the kitchen.

"Damien!" I demand louder, tapping his cheek and rubbing his chest. To no avail does he wake.

I run for the phone and call the infirmary, demanding for someone to come and help my son.

2 minutes later two men enter and carry his body into the hallway of the apartments. They slip a tube down his throat causing a sound of suction and place him on a stretcher and run back to the infirmary. I begin to cry heavily as I grab Ezra and Phoenix. She's still pale and dizzy leaving me no choice but to carry her there while Ezra cries in my other arm.

When we arrive Chris stands at the desk. She holds me back.

"Tris he's fine. Give them a minute to clear his system from the fluid." Chris says, taking Phoenix from me and placing her on one of the chairs.

"Fluid?" I sob, trying once more to get past her.

"He was throwing up liquid phlegm. It clogged his only lung passage causing him to pass out due to lack of oxygen. It was a close call but he's fine. I would never lie to you about that. Just give the doctor 2 hours and then he can go home." I cry a little harder and begin to pace. Ezra persists on sobbing. Chris slips him from my hands and walks to where Phoenix sits.

"Is mommy okay?" Phoenix asks her.

"She's just scared, wait for your daddy okay? Will is going to find him." She promises. My sadness suddenly turns to rage. How dare he not answer my many phone calls. He left me with the kids and didn't even think of saying goodbye when he noticed I wasn't in bed.

When he enters I don't look at his face, in fact I turn away.

""It's okay." Tobias whispers to Phoenix as he kisses her forehead and asks Chris to watch the kids for a moment. I hear him come up behind me but before he can touch my shoulder I walk out of the infirmary.

"Tris," Tobias calls, he grabs me halfway down the hallway.

"He could have died!" I say angrily, turning around to meet his stunned eyes. "His throat clogged up, and I didn't know what to do with three kids!" I scream at him. "He could have died and it was all of your fault."

"I was at work! You should have told me to stay home if the kids were sick." He snapped back.

"I was busy dealing with Phoenix vomiting. I called you afterwards to ask you to come home."

"I left my phone in the control room over night. The whole system froze along with my phone."

"That's not my problem! What is, is the fact that our son is in there having fluids drained from his body and you're not even realizing how bad it got. All 3 kids were crying from 5am to now! That's almost 14 hours of me trying to clean up, feed the baby, change his diaper, change their pajamas, give the kids a bath because they threw up on themselves. I'm tired Tobias and it takes someone to track you down to get to us!" I scream the last part.

"HE ISN'T DEAD!" He demands angrily, pointing to the infirmary.

"WHAT IF HE DID DIE? YOU CAN'T GET MAD AT ME FOR BEING OVERWHELMED!" I yell back. His nostrils flare and his eyes lift to the ceiling and then back to mine. He only does that when he is really angry.

Reality kicks in and after trying to convince Tobias about our son's possible death my heart does a sudden drop.

My baby could have died.

I was taking care of him and he could have died.

I limply walk to the wall and lean against it, I slide down it and tuck my legs up to my chest.

"Tris?" Tobias asks, no more anger engraving his words.

"Just, give me a minute Tobias." I breathe in frustration while attempting not to cry. I failed of course.

"Tris." Tobias says again, stepping closer. I cringe further into the wall. Suddenly my head buries into my legs and I begin to sob.

"I almost let him die." I say, angry with myself.

"No you didn't." Tobias insists, crouching by me.

"I should have run him to the infirmary immediately! Why didn't I run him to the infirmary immediately?"

"Because Phoenix and Ezra couldn't be left alone. Tris please don't do this to yourself. It was my fault!" He attempts to diverge the pointed finger back to himself.

"I almost let him die!" I cry out, standing up and breathing heavily.

"Tris. Stop!" Tobias demands, taking my wrists and looking into my eyes. He releases my arm and holds my face instead. "He's okay. Everyone is okay." He promised, cleaning my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry for blaming you." I say with a shake of my head.

"It just wasn't our day. Tomorrow will be better." He promised kissing my nose and then my lips.

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**-Valentina**


	34. Chapter 34- Excuse Me! No One Owns Me!

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 34  
Excuse Me! No One Owns Me!

Today was Ezra's first train jumping. Tobias had helped him on and off since he was a baby but now after turning 4 Ezra needed to do it on his own.

"Come on Ezra!" Damien shouted, his hair flicking out of his eyes due to the wind.

"Do what we do!" Phoenix told him as her ponytail did the same dance as Damien's hair.

Ezra picked at his basketball shorts and then looked to Tobias.

"You've got it little man." Tobias promised. Ezra nodded and removed his shirt. Damien did the same his first time since he feared it getting caught on the wheel. Obviously some wise brotherly advice.

"We're right behind you buddy." I tell him, watching the train approach. Damien is off first, racing for the car door and jumping up to hit the open pad. The doors slide open and he slides in. Phoenix isn't far behind, her little feet carrying her faster than any child I've meet. She swung in like her brother and peered out to Ezra.

"You got it Ezra! Just jump!" She called, he ran faster and caught the handle. I picked up my speed so I was behind him as he swung in and laughed loudly. I jumped on followed by Tobias who gave the shirt back to Ezra.

"I DID IT!" Ezra shouted loudly. We all cheered and sat in the car, waiting for the first patch of grass to appear.

"You ready?" I ask him, he nods his head causing his curls to unravel. "Alright Damien and Phoenix, you first." I urge, they count to three and jump, somersaulting back to their feet and laughing at their fresh scrapes.

"Alright Ezra. On three." Tobias and I take opposite sides of him and count. At three we all launch out of the car. Tobias and I stayed on our feet as Ezra barrel-rolled and landed 3 feet away.

"That was awesome!" He demanded, standing up and dusting off his arms and legs.

"You did great!" I reward, messing up his hair and leading the family back to the other side of the tracks for the train back to Dauntless.

"Can we get dinner when we get back?" Damien asks. I swear that kid is always hungry! He's skinny thought so I guess he needs more food.

"Sure buddy." Tobias says, taking my hand in his.

"I'm going to tell everyone that I can get on and off the train by myself." Ezra says with glee.

"I'm sure this will deserve some dauntless cake." At this 4 children look at me with gleaming eyes.

"Really?" Tobias asks excitedly making me roll my eyes.

"Yes, we can have cake." I promise kissing him on the chin and allowing myself a laugh.

"YAY!" All the kids cry, this time excluding Tobias from the list.

"So Ezra, ready for kindergarten?" Damien asks, jumping the train tracks despite my warning about trains hitting him.

"I guess." Ezra replies, scoping the ground for a cool rock.

"Only 1 more year. Izzy starts school with us in a month." Phoenix warns, throwing a few stones against a large rock hoping to have them rebound. "I mean Damien and I are on summer break now so this is technically your last summer as a free child. SCORE!" She screams, the rock she last threw rebounding and pelting the poor Damien on the neck.

"Okay Phoenix quit terrorizing your brother and pelting your other one with rocks." Tobias says, she drops the rocks instantly and gets onto the track herself.

"I wish I had a sister." She said finally, laying on the track and looking up and the pink sky. It was almost dark, also known as her favourite time of the day.

"You have Piper." Damien suggests.

"No I mean my own sister. Someone I can share a room with." She says with a small smile. "You have Ezra and I have no one."

"Excuse me!" Ezra said loudly. "No one owns me!"

At this Tobias and I laugh, watching carefully for a train so we can save our children from it.

"Either way, I just wish I could have one." She concludes.

"Okay kids off the tracks, the train is coming." Tobias commands. The kids move out of the way and start forward. They jump in once again with Tobias coming in last.

"Tobias we can't have anymore children." I whisper to him as we sit in the train car and watch the kids peer out the door.

"I know, it would be too much. She'll get over it." Tobias says, stroking my hair.

"Like Damien said: she has Piper and Izabel. Those girls will make good sister figures." I say holding his other hand.

"Exactly, no need on putting ourselves through another 9 months of health scares." He says, remembering the moments that the baby(ies) and I could've died.

"Yeah, I think our family is perfect the way it is." I conclude, kissing the stumble on his chin and standing up. We watch the kids jump and follow in suit.

We all head to the cafeteria where stew was being served.

"I refuse to eat this." Piper said, I remember that same attitude toward the soup 4 years ago.

"Fine then, eat a few rolls." Will offered her a basket of bread and she gladly munched on it.

"So what were your 5 up to?" Marlene asks, slipping into her seat next to Uriah.

"I learned how to get on and off the train on my own!" Ezra says as everyone congratulates him.

"That means you're all set for school then." Zeke says, giving Ezra a high five. Izabel jumps into the seat next to Ezra and they begin to go off about different strength abilities.

"I am much stronger because I'm a year older!" Izabel fights back.

"Ahh but I am taller!" Ezra contradicts. From there all I heard were mixed up words and playful shoves between the two.

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**-Valentina **


	35. Chapter 35- That Calming Essence

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 35  
That Calming Essence

|KIDS AGES: Phoenix/Damien: 10 Ezra: 5|

"I just don't get it!" Damien said angrily, pointing to the screen that showed his single lung. "How can this not be enough? I can breathe just fine!" He said, angry at the discomforting news we just received.

"Damien you just don't understand. Your track record had lead us to this moment. You're body is weak, we need to help support it." Dr. Quin explains, looking into my son's watering eyes sympathetically.

"I don't want another surgery." He finally admits, wiping his soaking eyes.

"It won't be that bad, it's a quick opening and addition of a lung valve. It will open up your lung and create a better chance of not needing a transplant sooner." Dr. Quin says.

"I don't want a new scar, I don't want to be in pain anymore!" Damien says angrily.

"Look, the procedure is only 7 hours long. It will release pressure in your chest. I'm sorry Damien but it's our only option." Dr. Quin concludes, no room left for argument.

"I want to go home." Damien says, hopping off the bed and heading out the door.

"The procedure will be on Friday, here's a note for him to miss the next 2 weeks. You know the drill: no food or water 12 hours before the procedure. It will take place at 8:30 so be here at 7:30am." With that we all leave the room, Tobias running ahead to Damien while I get the new prescription for Phoenix's meds.

"We'll see you at dinner." Chris says sadly, looking past me at Damien who is screaming something at Tobias.

"Yeah," I say in the same tone, walking to my husband and son.

"I'M TIRED OF BEING HERE ONCE A MONTH FOR THEM TO CUT ME OPEN AND DRAIN MY LUNG!" Damien screams, Tobias flinching at our son's pained anger. "No one has this stupid hole by their ribcage except for me!" Damien lifts the side of his shirt to reveal the black O shaped plastic hole that is currently closed until next time he needs drainage. Tobias stays silent so I go in to help.

"Damien," I say, trying to get is eyes to look at mine.

"What?" He asks me angrily.

"Look at me." I say in a gentle tone, turning his head to mine. The instant he sees me he begins to tremble, tears start following afterwards.

"I'm tired mom." He tells me as I wipe his cheeks. After having his lung drained I'm sure he feels flushed, not to mention hearing that he needs a new surgery.

"That's okay, you can be tired, and sad, and angry but please baby, realize that we aren't doing this to hurt you. We want you to get better, so if that means another surgery then that means we are one step closer to healthy." I kiss his cheek and he nods his head.

"Okay." He agrees, wiping the tears with the back of his hands and taking my extended hand. We walk back to the apartment where I already had the couch set up for him to sleep in all day.

"Go and change into something comfortable, I'll get you something to drink." Tobias says, walking to the kitchen while I walked him to his shared bedroom.

Damien slips his jeans and shirt off, shaking on a pair of sweatpants that cling to his hips. He doesn't like to wear shirts after days like today because his rib-cage and chest are so sensitive. I fold his clothes and place them back into their respective drawers while he takes the old sock monkey Tobias and I gave him a while ago and heads off to the living room.

"Here, eat a few crackers." Tobias says as I watch from the doorway.

"I'm not hungry." Damien says back, lying on the couch.

"Damien you weren't allowed breakfast today, you need some food." Tobias urges, Damien takes a single cracker and chews it reluctantly.

"Done." He says, swallowing the last bite and taking a sip of water. Tobias gives up trying to feed him so he simply pulls the blanket up to his shoulders and comes to me.

"He doesn't deserve this." I say to Tobias, looking at the firelight.

"No kid deserves this." He replies, tucking my hair behind my ears.

"What's even worse is that he still doesn't understand the meaning of any of this. He probably just thinks we are hurting him."

"No, I don't think he believes we are hurting as much as we are allowing him to be in pain. Each month we allow doctors to fit a tube into his side causing him to be tired for almost 3 days afterwards. He misses school and as he gets older it will only get harder. One day it will all be good, his lung will be stronger or he will get a transplant. Either way it will get better." Tobias says, turning one last time to see our son.

"I'm going to go and get the kids from the train tracks." I say. "Try to make him comfortable and give him an aspirin." I quickly kiss Tobias and walk out the door, heading for outside where the train tracks rumble and my children should arrive in 10 minutes.

I stand and wait, my mind reeling over Damien and how my heart will never feel the same with him like this.

"Hey Tris." Will approaches and my head snaps up to meet his eyes. Shauna isn't far behind him, running a hand through her hair and waving at us.

"How's Damien?" Will asks. "Chris told me he had a rough appointment."

"What happened?" Shauna asks, suddenly into the conversation.

"Damien was told he needs a valve added into his lung. He wasn't all to pleased with the whole affair and walked out. Tobias and I aren't sure what to do anymore." I play with my wedding ring out of pure habit.

"How do they add the valve?" Shauna asks.

"They need to make an incision and then they basically puncture the lung so then it creates a fluid extractor. It will lessen the amount of fluid that collects in his lungs over the month." I explain, looking at my feet.

"That's ruff. He's strong, he should be fine." Will says, rubbing my shoulder supportively.

The train comes, our kids jumping out along with the other kids.

"How's Damien?" Ezra asks, his sweet concern being extra prominent today.

"He's okay. Just tired. When we get home you guys have to be extra quite for him." I say, Phoenix nodding and adjusting the strap of her backpack.

"Is it bad this time?" She asks me, understanding very well the amount of depression this brings her twin. I kneel down and tuck her hair behind her ears.

"He's just sad and a little angry. Let him rest for a few days okay?" I ask. She nods with a weak smile.

"I have his homework. Maybe after he wakes up I'll try to help him." She suggests.

"That would be very helpful. Thank you Phoe. Now come on daddy's waiting for us." I walk with the kids back to our apartment and allow them inside. Tobias is settling Damien back down after I shut the door, he kisses his forehead and comes to me.

"I just gave him the aspirin. We should wake him up for dinner later."

"Okay," I say, walking past Damien to our bedroom and collapsing back on the bed. Tobias joins me and takes my hand into his.

"When was the last time we were together?" He asks me abruptly, I turn my head to see if he is serious.

"You mean intimate?" I question he nods in response. "I don't know, it's been a while." I say.

"I miss being with you." He says, pulling me into his side and running his hand up and down my side.

"I do too but we are never alone anymore."

"I don't have work all of next week." He remembers, looking to me with that young mischievous spark. The same spark that landed us with the twins. The same spark that made me his and he mine.

"The kids have school all of next week." I add with a smirk.

"You Tris Eaton will be all for me next week." He peeks my nose and then kisses me passionately. We both leave the room after the call of our son needing an ice pack.

~.~.~

He kisses my cheek, then my nose, and then my next cheeks. His lips trail up to my forehead, pressing onto each temple and then jumping to my neck. I indulge in these kisses, inhaling with each press of his lips and exhaling when they leave my skin.

I run my fingers through his hair, my hands tracing each chiseled ab and bicep on his upper body. He sucks behind my ear making me giggle.

"Tobias." I say as my hands reach for his hips. I run a hand over each scar and count the number on each side. 14 whip marks on his right side, 23 on his left.

He pushes my shirt up and throws it to the ground with his.

"Nice tattoo." He laughs, kissing the IV tattoo just under my ear.

"You have a nice one too." I say, stroking the VI that is located on the same place as mine.

"Tobias," I say, making the kisses cease and loom in the air. "Make me remember why we feel in love." I say. Tobias grins, the right corner of his mouth rising before the left follows.

"Like this." He presses his lips to mine, my hand coming up to hold his cheek as I embrace this contact. He doesn't stop kissing me until we are both air deprived.

~.~.~

We make love to one another, so passionate, and fresh it was like our first time all over again. My hands would graze his perfect body as his did the same. We went slow, trying to keep this moment going on forever only to have it end like all the moments in our lives: With a perfect calm essences that may seem unfixed but some how feels whole.

Afterwards we lay in bed, my hands running over his side as he drew out the outline of each raven on my coller-bone.

"7 Ravens, all leading to your heart" He concludes.

"They have all reached it." I promise, kissing the hollow of his neck.

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**-Valentina**


	36. Chapter 36- A Good Kind of Crazy

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 36  
A Good Kind Of Crazy

|Fourteen Years Old|

_**Phoenix's POV**_

My mind seemed lost as I attempted to listen to my history teacher. She was talking about a war? A tyrant maybe? Something was being mentioned about the earth shaking and the sky turning to fire. No that can't be right, the earth has an atmosphere that won't turn to flames.

Wait why is she talking about death being my fault? What did I do?

"Phoenix!" Her voice cracked like a whip and suddenly all sound came to a halt. Damien stared at me from across the room with concern. "What did I say?" She asks me, I hardly have time to filter my words when I say:

"That I was the tyrant that started the war and killed all of the innocent souls." Everyone stares with disbelief.

"I did not say that Phoenix." Ms. Farna states with a voice mocking one of a creeped out person.

"You're saying that I forced people against walls, that I lifted my gun to their heads, that I shot them all dead… even the children. You're telling me that I shouldn't be here, that I'm the reason the world is in ashes. It was me! I need to go, someone is taking me!" I demand, rising from my table suddenly and scaring half of my classmates. I notice the skittish jump back somewhat and Ms. Farna was far from pleased.

"Miss. Eaton take your seat immediately. This isn't a joke. Real people died and it shall not be taken with this form of humor."

"I killed them! Now they're going to kill me!" I scream, my breathing intensifying as I notice the new people in the room. All men, dressed in clothing form different factions but something was weird…. They had no faces.

"Take your seat now!" Ms. Farna yells.

"I'm sorry." I demand to no one, my hands clenching in on themselves and gashing into my palms. Before the men approach I run, slamming the door to my history room with a great sound and heading for the outdoors.

"Please stop." I beg the voices in my head once I'm outside, my body shaking vigorously. "Please stop." I repeat clutching to my ears and shutting my eyes. "Please!" I beg, before collapsing on the floor and screaming. My screams block out the conversation of the approaching men. My screams also alert the school of my location.

I lose consciousness as soon as the door of the school open and the padding of hundreds of feet come with it.

~.~.~

"Phoenix?" My mom's voice fills my head and brings me back to reality. I open my eyes slowly but shut them from the light leaking in from the window.

"Tobias shut the curtains." Mom says, dad walks around and I hear the shuffle of cloth on a metal rod.

"What happened?" I ask groggily, finally looking to mom and dad.

"Did you take your medicine yesterday?" Dad asks me, sitting on my right side since mom has my left. I remember yesterday, before the voices and men consumed me.

"I don't think so." I finally whisper, looking to my white covered hands and wrists. "What happened?" I ask again, flinching when I flip my arms over to see blood staining the gauze.

"You heard those voices and freaked out. You walked out of history and exited the school where they found you screaming and clawing at your wrists. You kept repeating, "I'm sorry."" Mom explains.

"Ms. Farna was telling me I was a tyrant, that I caused the war and killed everyone." I explain, the urge to scream rising in my throat.

"No sweetie, that was just your mind. Ms. Farna was talking about the war but when she tried to get your attention you went off about being the tyrant and killing everyone." Dad answers.

"I'm sorry. I should have taken the medicine and I shouldn't have done this." I raise my arms.

"That's okay. It was an accident that helped the doctors realize we need to fix your prescription. They want you to take Lutuda everyday and Quetiapine every other day."

"What does Quetiapine do?" I ask warily.

"It prevents these episodes." Dad explains, I nod.

"How long was I out?" Was my next question.

"For almost a whole day. You had you're episode yesterday." Mom says.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Almost dinner time, you should sleep a while longer. I'll wake you up so you can shower and come out for dinner." Mom promises, kissing my forehead and easing me back onto my pillows. Mom and dad leave me to sleep, which doesn't take long to fall under.

_**Damien's POV**_

"Is she okay?" I ask, my hands slipping through my hair to shake off the water left over in my shower.

"A little dazed, her hands are still bleeding but I think she's fine." Mom says, fixing my hair for me even though I can do it myself.

"Piper called and offered to bring new gauze for her hands." I mention, slipping my top on and walking with my parents to the kitchen.

"That'd be helpful, she's going to shower so she'll need a new wrap anyways." Dad says, pulling out 3 glasses and turning on the tap. He fills them all and hands them two to us, keeping the third for himself and taking a large gulp. I hastily sip from the glass despite not feeling in the mood of drinking it.

"What's wrong Damien. You only give that look when something is bothering you." Mom says. She is always on top of my emotions, being able to pinpoint how I feel before I can even realize it.

"I just feel like I should've done something. You know go after her before she deliberately clawed at herself and screamed bloody-murder. I saw her freak out in the room and now everyone is talking about That Crazy Dauntless Girl. One day and they are already picking on her." My fingers go back and forth with my agitation, having a personal thumb-war despite that being blocked out entirely.

"Damien," Mom snaps me back, her hand gently covering my thumbs. "They will forget. She's a brave girl with a good head on her shoulders. She will figure out what worth worrying about or not." I nod and she removes her hand standing up straight once again and moving to the sink. "Call Piper, tell her that she should bring the gauze over. I'm going to go and help your sister." Mom places the cup down, kisses dad's cheek and then mine before leaving to Phoenix's room.

"Where's Ezra?" I ask dad, plopping myself on the counter and drawing my phone from my pocket.

"With Izabel. Shauna agreed to watch them after school. Make that call, I'll go find some pain medication for Phoenix." Dad walks to his bedroom, probably looking through their medicine cabinet.

I press Piper's House contact and lift the phone to my ear, hearing it ring twice before someone answers.

"Hello?" The voice of my friend flies through the receiver.

"Hey Piper. Do you mind bringing over that gauze? Phoenix is about to shower and needs to re-wrap." I say, swinging my leg back and forth.

"Sure. Let me call my dad to tell him I'm leaving to get the gauze from my mom. I'll see you in like 15 minutes." She decides, a hesitation in her voice indicating there was more she wanted to say. "You know I stayed later after school right?" She starts.

"Yeah, detention for punching that stupid big-mouth candor. What's new?"

"Some guys were talking in the room. They said Phoenix was… that someone raped her and that's why she was screaming how sorry she was."

"That's stupid. Phoenix wasn't raped, you told them that right?"

"Of course, I told them that they were idiots for starting those lies." She says.

"Good," I sigh, sliding from the counter and walking to the living room. "I should let you go, you know so you can call your dad." I say as I plop down on the couch and switch the TV on.

"Okay. See you later." She shuffles around and then shuts off the phone leaving me with the buzz of a dead line.

_**Phoenix's POV**_

Mom awakens me a few minutes later, her face soft and young, a small smile edging her lips.

"Do you want to shower and maybe get some food?" She asks, her hands running over my face.

"Sure." I smile to show her I'm okay, I don't know if she fully believes me though.

"Here, let me help you." She says, moving my blankets back and helping me sit up.

"Your hands might burn a little but washing them out should be good. It isn't t pleasant looking." She warns, picking out the tap and unwrapping my left wrist first. It was a bright shade of red, flesh still leaking blood but not showing any signs of nerve damage. She unwraps my right hand and I cringe slightly at the sight. This time there was 3 different rows of 3+ stitches, Other parts were deep but I guess not stitch worthy. "Avoid straining the stitches." Mom suggests, crumpling the bloodied gauze and tossing it in the trash bin, turning to see me eyeing my wrists still.

"Baby it wasn't your fault." Her voice feels distant, but I can see her kneeling in front of me.

"How'd I do this to myself?" I ask.

"You were scared and felt guilty for something you didn't do. It's fine though, you're fine." She kisses my forehead and lifts my chin so my blue eyes meet her's.

I feel like I need to be in a straight jacket or something." I joke, a laugh appearing from my speech.

Mom laughs as well and presses my hair back. "You're crazy but not that kind of crazy. A good kind that your dad always claimed was in me." We both laugh and she kisses my forehead once more. "I love you sweetie."

"I love you too mom."

"Now go shower stinky. We both know how your brother gets when he is hungry." We both laugh at this while I rise from the bed and head into my bathroom.

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**-Valentina**


	37. Chapter 37- The Flu?

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 37  
The Flu?

_**Third Person Point of View**_

15-year-old Phoenix walked against the wall of her high school. This was an unusual look for the red hair, dark eyed girl as she is one of the jumpy Dauntless that wants to sit on the lockers and create a ruckus alongside her brother's group of friends with her own. But today she walked behind her friends, her brother hardly noticing her disappearance because he knew how off she could get at times. He made a loud whoop somewhere in the hallway and something came crashing down along with it but she thought nothing of it, her head was spinning after her last class, algebra.

Why do they need all of those subjects if they're going to be done with school in less then a year anyways? It was useless to Phoenix, all of it. She knew that she was going to be Dauntless. Both her and her brother Damien were going to fight to be the top Dauntless of their year.

"DAMIEN YOU IDIOT!" 13 year old Piper cried out in both agony and pure hatred. When Phoenix managed to make the seen out through her hazy mind she saw Piper clutching her hand as Damien apologized immensely.

"Aww Pipes please don't tell Chris! She'd kill me, tell my mom and then have her kill me as well."

"Sure Damien, but what do I tell them! That you broke my fucking hand!" Intense language for a girl her age, thought Phoenix.

"Just say you slammed it in the locker." He said coolly.

"But YOU slammed it in the locker." Piper snapped back. "Whatever just help me get to the nurse, it's starting to bleed." Damien obliged, taking Piper by her shoulders and calling out the Candor that made unwelcoming comments.

Phoenix knew that Piper would make up some lie to convince her mom that it wasn't Damien, especially since they were best friends. The three teens have been buddies for as long as they could remember and they were all shoe ins for Dauntless by the time their year came.

"Phoenix!" A girl with jet-black hair called, running up to a swaying Phoenix. "The office wants to talk to you, apparently your mom's been calling.

"Can you tell them that I'm fine?" Phoenix managed to croak out as she placed her back to the wall and shut her eyes.

"You don't look to good."

"I didn't ask you Jackie!" Phoenix snapped back, her body beginning to shake.

"You need to head home, you look like you're getting a fever." Jackie commented, forgetting about what Phoenix screamed at her.

"I'm fine," Phoenix whispered almost to herself. Her hand fell to the left side of her hip, damn cramps have been bothering her all day. Not happy with a fast coming fever, she was also getting her monthly visit soon.

"I'm going to get Damien. Stay here." Jackie demands, running through the crowd and giving the finger to angry Candor kids.

Phoenix suddenly felt all the noise around her disappear, all of the people staring and pointing her direction hardly made it past her fogged vision. It wasn't until 4 legs stopped in front of her did she focus on the two faces looming over her. The girl was holding a blood soaked towel over her broken left hand while the boy furrowed his eyebrows and knelt to her side. How'd she even get to the floor? Did she just slip down the wall suddenly?

"Phoe." Piper whispered, her good hand falling on the forehead of her best friend. "Damien she's burning up, we need to get her home!"

"How? We have to jump on a train and everything, I can't carry her on and off."

"Damien she's sick! Get your priorities straight. I'd better see you and her outside by the time I have our backpacks." With that Piper stood up and ran to the other end of the hallway.

"Phoe, what's wrong?" Damien finally asks.

"I'm sick you idiot." She says through the pain in her throat.

"Well I got that part, but is this like every other time or-?"

"I don't know." She says before he can finish the sentence.

"We should get you home I guess. Mom and dad will understand." Damien said, trying to believe it himself. "Come on." He helped his sister back to her feet and looped her arm over his shoulders. She clenched her teeth at the cramps on her sides but kept walking ignoring the stares.

"Party to hard Dauntless?" An Erudite smart-ass asked with a snicker.

"Shut it," Damien said loud enough for the guy to hear. He knew Phoenix was irritable and whoozy, she did not need anymore screaming.

By the time they were outside Phoenix was shivering like crazy even though her skin was boiling hot.

"PIPER!" Damien called, getting the attention of their friend. Piper began to run towards them, stopping as soon as Phoenix doubled over and vomited just inches for her and Damien feet. Piper stepped around the mess and pulled back Phoenix's short curls, snapping a black hair tie around it. "She needs to see your mom." Damien says urgently as they walked forward.

"Okay, I'll climb on, open the doors, and help pull her into the cart. Sounds good?"

"Just fine, now hurry." Damien began to move faster, Phoenix's feet hardly being able to move at his pace.

Piper climbed onto the train and grabbed the arm of Phoenix as Damien nearly threw her in.

Once all three of them were on Phoenix began to cry lightly. She never cried. Not when she broke her arm or cut her leg with such severity that she needed nearly 22 stitches. But loth and behold, she was crying now because of a stupid fever.

"Hey, it's okay. We're going to get you to my mom." Piper whispered, tucking a loose curl behind her friend's ear and wiping the tears away with her thumbs.

"Uh Pipes, it's your dad." Damien said with pure fear as he handed the buzzing phone off to Piper.

"Hello?" Piper said without a hint of worry.

"Piper Willow Blagrove why the hell did you leave school?!" Will cried into the phone. "You know better then to do that! What if you got hurt or lost or something! What will your mother say when she hears about this! You know she is already busy as it is with work and what not. How dare you be so disobedient-"

"Dad! Phoenix got sick; Damien and I are taking her home. Can you go and find Four and Tris? We are taking her to mom right away." Piper was never one to interrupt, especially her own dad who she respected more then anyone else.

"What's wrong with her?" Will's voice suddenly asks, unsure if this is her normal cold or something worse.

"She's burning up but shivering like crazy, and she threw up once already. I think it's a fever but I can't be sure."

"Okay, I'll send Tris and Four to the infirmary and meet you kids at the entrance of the compound." There was no goodbye, Will hung up immediately and left Piper dropping the phone down to her side.

Phoenix was about to ask something but her mouth was flooded with vomit before words were possible. She leaned over the train edge and threw up, Piper once again rubbing her back and trying to calm her down.

"I'm sorry." Phoenix said after sitting up and wiping her tear streaked cheeks with the back of her hand.

"It's okay, my dad is going to help us get you to the infirmary, just take deep breaths." Piper coaxed, looking to Damien who was to worried to say anything.

They road on the train for another 5 minutes before standing up and jumping in front of the entrance to the compound. Will came running out just as Phoenix threw up, yet again.

"Oh goodness. Come on sweetie lets get you to your parents." Will said to Phoenix as he picked her up and held her like a baby. Feeling to weak and sick to fight against being helped, Phoenix held onto Will and drowsily attempted to stay awake.

"Did she look like this, this morning?" Will asked Damien as they ran down the stairs.

"No, she was telling our mom how she was feeling sort of sick but that's it." Damien breathed heavily, his body probably reacting to the lack of fluids he's been deprived of. Usually Damien needed to drink a lot but since he was so worried with Phoenix he forgot.

"Alright, Piper, get the door." Will prompted, his daughter running ahead and swinging the door open. They went through a few more hallways and finally made it to the infirmary.

"Phoenix!" Both Tris and Tobias ran to their daughter and instantly noticed her pale ghostly look. Tobias took his daughter in his arms and felt her boiling skin.

"Chris she's here!" Tris called loudly, grabbing her friend's attention from another room. Chris came running out with 3 male doctors pushing a bed behind her.

"Place her here." Chris demanded, moving aside for Tobias who reluctantly placed his daughter down. "Okay let's get her examined, Tris or Four, one of you may join her."

"You go," Tobias says to Tris, walking to Damien's side before she can say otherwise.

"Okay let's go." Chris says, leading the bed to an empty room.

"Let's get some fluids running, get her hooked up to and IV and heart monitor. Tris tell me how she was this morning before sending her to school." Chris placed a thermometer into Phoenix's ear.

"She was complaining about being sick and said something about her period coming. That's about it. There was nothing really different." Tris said, her eyes leaving Chris to look at her daughter.

"106, we need to break this fever. Can we get some cold water and a wash cloth over here?" A doctor handed the cool water a cloth over. Chris drenched the cloth and reined it out, wiping Phoenix's face and then soaking it again.

"I hurts." Phoenix finally cried lightly, Tris looking up from her place at her feet, untying her daughter's boots.

"What hurts honey?" Chris asks, glad to finally get some answers.

"My side! Ow, Chris make it stop!" She pleaded, trying to curl up but only to be straightened by the doctors.

"Which side? This one?" Chris placed her hand on the left side of Phoenix's hip.

"Yes- OW!" Phoenix groaned and began to cry again.

"Okay lets get an immediate ultrasound of her right side, lets focus on her spleen and appendix."

A doctor ushered over the machine Tris recognized from when she was pregnant.

"Tris do you mind helping me to get a gown on her? Gentlemen I ask that you step out for a minute." The men gladly left, sliding the curtain behind them. Tris helped remove her daughter's jacket and top leaving her bra on. A light blue gown was slid on and buttoned in the back.

"Okay let's see what we've got." Chris lifted the side of the gown and squirted the blue liquid near Phoenix's rib cage. "Tris, let the doctors back in," Chris instructed, pressing the monitor on Phoenix's side and looking at the screen. "Uh-oh." She whispered under her breath, moving the monitor higher and not encountering the part she was hoping to find.

"What's the damage?" A young doctor asked behind Chris making her jump a little.

"We may have a bursted appendix on our hands, go set up immediate surgery, I'll perform it but I need assistance. Set up emergency 4 and make sure all of the utensils are sanitized and set properly. We need to move quickly before an infection spreads." The young man ran and began to set everything up, pressing an emergency button and helping to set up the requested room.

"Tris, Phoenix has a bursted appendix. She needs immediate surgery." Chris says urgently, shutting the monitor off and starting to get different tubs through Phoenix's arm.

"Chris please help me!" Phoenix finally sobbed, her breathing becoming heavy from the lack of oxygen she has.

"I will honey but you need to calm down. Deep breathes. I understand that it hurts but it will only hurt more if you continue sobbing." Phoenix did as instructed and went back to light crying, her breathing soon evened out. Tris removed the pants of her daughter and folded it along with the sweater and shirt.

"Okay sweetie, you'll be just fine. Chris is with you in there and she will make sure nothing bad happens. Mommy will be there when you wake up." Tris tried to calm her daughter, kissing her hot forehead profusely before allowing them to roll her into surgery.

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**-Valentina **


	38. Chapter 38- Very Brave

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 38  
Very Brave

_**Phoenix's POV**_

My insides felt like they were exploding, I guess it's true. My appendix essentially exploded inside of me and now I'm headed for surgery. I wish mom or dad could be here. I'm in pain and I'm so scared. _Not very Dauntless now, are you? _My mind seethes as I continue to cry. _You'll never make it into Dauntless by crying. _Damn thoughts!

"Okay Phoe, I'm going to put you under. Just consider this a dreamless sleep. You'll be awake in no time." Chris placed a mask over my mouth I instantly felt drowsy. The room was spinning, my side burnt more then ever before. I wanted to throw up but couldn't, this gas was practically suffocating me. Suddenly all the noises around me became distant.

I saw the lights grow brighter.

My body felt like it went into over drive.

My heart was pounding.

And then

Nothing.

_**Tris' POV **_

Tobias and I sat in the waiting room together, his knee bouncing with anticipation to see Phoenix. I was biting my nails once again, hardly noticing the habit's return. Damien sat with Piper, a protective arm over her shoulder as she cried lightly about how bad a bursted appendix could be. I only noticed her hand that was practically dripping blood and was an awkward colour of blue and purple.

Turns out I wasn't the only one because a nurse came over slowly, concern written on her face. She crouched down by Piper and run a hand over her knee in a comforting manner probably asking if she could take a look at her hand. Piper nodded and stood up with Damien, the three heading to a room and returning 30 minutes later with stiches running from the start of her wrist to the end her knuckle.

Will stood up, I almost forgot he was sitting next to me.

"Is she okay?" He asked, addressing Piper's hand.

"15 stitches, a bone cracked. I'm going to get a cast on it in a few minutes. For now I must return to the surgery of Miss. Eaton."

"How is she?" I suddenly ask, my voice cracking.

"We are trying to control the infection. It's too early to tell though. She's a brave girl, a strong one too. She'll come through, I'm sure of it." Her words were supportive but smile was unconvincing.

"Thank you." Tobias said for me, pulling me back down next to him and wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm so scared." I whisper to Tobias as tears streak down my face.

"I am too." He says back, kissing my head and holding me tighter. "She's so small, and can be brave when she tries but we both know she is physically venerable. Her body… God I'm so scared." He himself begins to cry, clutching to me like I'm the only thing keeping him together.

We sat like this for almost 5 hours, Damien and Piper falling asleep in their chair, their heads resting on one another's. Will was getting us coffee when Chris walked out in blood spotted scrubs, her mask being pulled down to reveal a tired smile.

"Chris, how is she?" Tobias suddenly asks, the both of us jumping to our feet.

"Tired, her body is exhausted and needs to rest so she can heal. No school for the rest of this month and keep her in bed for the next 2 weeks. She's a fighter, the infection was bad, and few could make it through something like that. For now she's sleeping but when she awakens do not be surprised if she is vomiting, I gave her some ipecac to clear the infection that may have spread to her stomach. Another thing that she should experience is a high fever, completely normal. Just try to give her lots of fluids, avoid food for a little while. You guys can go to recovery 6, I'll take care of Piper's hand." Chris went towards our sleeping son and her sleeping daughter while Tobias and I ran for recovery 6.

Upon entering we heard gagging and wet coughs. Phoenix was leaned over the bed, vomiting into a bucket being held by a nurse. She looked up to us with red eyes for a moment before allowing her tears to fall. Tobias went to relieve the nurse from holding the bucket while I went to her other side and ran my hand over her back.

"It hurts." Phoenix sobbed, clutching her side.

"I know baby, we're here though." Tobias said as he ran a hand through her red hair.

She made an awful retching noise and then sat up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Here," I say, grabbing the soaked towel and wiping her mouth and hand.

"How do you feel Phoe?" Tobias asks her as he runs his fingers through her hair.

"Awful, my side is killing me." She says between clenched teeth.

"Can I see?" I asked her skeptically, her nodding to my question. I easily moved the gown away and saw the still bloodied line that covered my daughter's side.

"That's some mighty fine job Chris did there." Tobias comments, trying to lighten the mood. "It's going to leave an awesome scar." Phoenix didn't seem to care however, she just cried a little more.

"Baby, what can we do for you?" I ask her.

"Hold me." She begged, her sobs racking her body. She didn't need to ask twice, Tobias sat on the bed and scooped her up like a baby, rocking her lighting and kissing her head.

"I'll go get you some water." I say, satisfied that Tobias is holding her and keeping her as safe as possible. I go the bathroom and get some tap water, returning to Phoenix and helping her to get the liquid down I small gulps.

"Where's Ezra?" She croaks after calming down.

"He's with Mar and Uriah. Damien is sleeping in the waiting room with Piper. I think Will is going to take them back to his place though. Chris promised to stay here all night to make sure everything is okay with the surgery." I answer, taking her hand. "You know every doctor was telling us how brave you were, how they haven't seen someone fight an infection of such proportions with such determination."

"I wasn't even awake, my body did it." She replied, taking in another sharp breath.

"It was still very brave." Tobias whispered continuing his soothing rocking.

We stay in silence for a few more minutes before Phoenix dozed off and Tobias placed her back on the bed.

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**-Valentina **


	39. Chapter 39- Icing Tyrant

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 39  
Icing Tyrant

The day came, the same one that made my life the way it is. The choice between faction and blood only this time I wasn't choosing, I was watching my children. Both Damien and Phoenix, proud looking Dauntless about to show their true mentalities and how they want to live forever.

All Tobias and I can do is hope that their faces are amongst those of the initiates we train. We have been assigned the dauntless born this year, therefore they can either join us or start a new-endeavor forever. One that won't include their family.

~.~.~

"Damien James Eaton." The name rings through the room, Tobias squeezing my hand as our son rises and confidently walks up to the five bowls. He eyes the different elements. Lit coals for Dauntless, gray stone for Abnegation, water for Erudite, earth for Amity, and finally glass for Candor. He nods with a sly smile and then grabs the knife, pressing into his palm and stretching it over the bowl on the left. He gives a squeeze and with a sizzle of blood on fire the announcer declares his faction. "Dauntless." Tobias releases the grip and we cheer for our son, his proud smile running over the faces of our "extended" family.

"Phoenix Emma Eaton." The next name is called and this time I hold the death grip on Tobias.

Our daughter stands and walks up to the bowls warily, apposed to her brother. She hastily grabs the knife and cuts her hand, looking at the bowls and without hesitation throwing it over her faction bowl.

"Dauntless." The man declares, once again Tobias and I cheering, this time with relief because it is our children who chose to stay.

~.~.~

"Alright you lead the jumping, I'll be at the bottom to catch them." Tobias tells me, kissing me tenderly before we notice the first few Dauntless jumping from the train.

"I'll see you soon." I peek his lips once more before backing up and launching myself onto the roof, landing securely on my two feet. I turn and watch the many people dressed in black, few varying in colour, make the jump and roll on the floor with a disgruntle noise.

"First year someone didn't fall off the roof." I say to myself, a few Erudite widening their eyes when they catch my comment.

"Initiates!" I call, the crowd following me to the roof edge where I stand with ease. Shauna joins me and gives a wicked smile to the group. "This is your 3rd step in initiation." I declare, eyeing the group. "Steps 1, and 2 were getting on and off the train alive, congrats if you're still breathing." This earns a few laughs from the Dauntless born.

"Down there is where the real fun starts, but you need to prove your bravery and trust by taking one step off the roof." I motion behind myself, the silence becoming even more deathly because a new fear arose in the crowd.

"Who wants to go first?" Shauna asks, a small laugh leaving her speech.

"See ya later friends." Damien laughs loudly, running towards me and throwing himself off the roof. That's my boy.

"Alright keep moving people." I say, looking to see if Damien has moved. Another Dauntless born jumps, his whoops remaining in the air as he falls.

"Guess I can't be the last jumper. 3rd place will have to do." Phoenix climbs next to me, turns around so she is also facing the crowd. She gives a solider salute and trust falls backwards, laughter following close behind.

"Next," I say, the people keep jumping until we are left with no one.

"See you down there." I smile, throwing myself off the edge where I've been standing WAY to long.

At the bottom the net is pressed down causing me to roll. I grab the familiar hands of Tobias and peer over the edge at him.

"Well doesn't this bring back memories?" I laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I'm sure you can jump out." He says, not moving from where he stands.

"Four!" I whine with a pout. I would say his real name had these initiates not been present.

"Six!" He whines back, a sly smile perking the right side of his mouth up.

"Please?" I whisper, kissing his lips and giving him my best glare.

"Okay." He grunts, pulling backwards and carrying me out, swinging me in a circle before my feet meet the ground.

We turn when Shauna hits the net, Zeke pulls her out this time kissing her as well but obviously not causing a scene like I made.

"Transfers with Shauna and I, Dauntless Born with Four and Six." Zeke demands, the different colours following the other couple while the rest come with Tobias and I.

"Only 12 this year?" Tobias asks, confusion running over his face.

"Hey, at least we have our kids." I reason, he nods and declares the rules.

"You know the way around, you all have families to sleep with. Be in the training room at 6 am each morning, be alert for any announcements and work your hardest. We'll see you all tomorrow." The group breaks and we get to our kids.

"Proud yet?" Damien asks I shove his arm.

"We're always proud." I promise, looking up at him. He has now reached Tobias in growth, muscle still needed improvement but he's always been stick thin. Phoenix was a few inches taller than me, not much though. Her hair was cut short like mine but instead of blonde curls, her's rested in red.

"Anyone hungry? I think we should collect your brother from Will and get some cake." Tobias suggests, the kids nod like they were 5.

"Okay, let's go." I laugh, urging the kids forward. We walk to apartment B13 and knock on the door. Piper answered the door between spurs of laughter but stops at the sight of her friends.

"Oh thank the lord!" She cries, wrapping both of them in a hug and squeezing the life out of them. "I thought I'd lose you guys." She says once they've pulled away.

"Couldn't leave you forever." Damien says, ruffling the hair of Piper.

"Pansycake." She demands, Tobias and I laughing.

"Uriah?" Tobias asks.

"Uriah." I guarantee, composing myself and walking into the apartment.

"WILL WE'RE RAIDING YOUR HOME!" I yell into the apartment, plopping down on the couch and throwing my feet up on the coffee table.

"Oh yeah, total anarchists you guys are." He states, entering the room with a pudgy baby babbling about something.

"Come here Will's Squirt." I say, standing up and taking the baby.

"You know calling her that is absolutely disgusting right?"

"You called my kids Hiccups. I call yours Will's Squirt." This causes the teenagers to laugh while Izabel and Ezra raise suspicious eyebrows.

"At least try using her name every once in a while." He suggest.

"Fine Thalia," I say to the baby, giving her goofy eyes to which she giggles. "Do you want cake? Oh yes you do!" I say, kissing her precious nose. "But first your daddy needs to fix you because you smell." I put her back in Will's arms, he sighs and heads back to the nursery.

"So where exactly did the name Will's Squirt come from?" Tobias asks me as Piper, Phoenix, and Damien lean in to hear better.

"What. They had an "accident" and ended up with the baby. I just use it because it makes the story sound better."

"What story?" Damien asks me.

"You know "Oh yeah we were just so into it, something slipped and we ended up with our little angel." Only this time you say, "Something slipped and we ended up with Will's Squirt."

"Officially Disturbed." Piper demands, leaving the group.

"I'm with her, that's disgusting. Funny but disgusting." Damien laughs, dragging Phoenix away with him.

"You're very unique. You know that?" Tobias asks, pulling me into him.

"So I've been told." I kiss him and then call for everyone to come for cake.

We get to the cafeteria and eat together, laughing as Thalia mashes her hands in the brown food.

"Oh look you have something on your nose." Tobias says, running a finger over the spot of supposed dirt. I can feel the icing immediately.

"Tobias, you didn't." I seethed. He shrugs and licks his thumb.

"Ass." I laugh, will taking two fingers and running the icing over his cheek. "Looks like I'm not the only person who can't get the food in their mouths." Tobias laughs and wipes my nose with his clean finger.

"Sorry." He says, kissing the place of attack. "Now you're pretty again." To this I smack his upper arm.

"Here let me." I say, pretending to clean his face only to quickly lean forward and lick his cheek.

"Sweet." I say with and giggle.

"You're so getting it tonight!" He demands, using a napkin to clean the icing/ saliva mix.

"Oh what am I going to do!" I fake freak out over his punishment.

"Just kiss me you icing Tyrant." And that is what I do. I kiss him with a sweet smile causing us to both laugh in between.

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**-Valentina **


	40. Chapter 40- The Way He Talks

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 40  
The Way He Talks

"Alright we are starting fights today!" I declare with a smile, most of the beat up initiates groan in discomfort.

"Look rules are simple. You fight until the other person is out or until one of you conceded. You can only concede after fighting for 2 minutes." Tobias decides, flipping the black board and presenting the list of fighters.

"Max has matched one Dauntless Born to fight one Transfer. Since there is 6 more Transfers you guys will be paired together." Zeke says.

"Let's get round 1." Shauna finally announces, crossing her arms and waiting for the first two go up and fight. There will be 15 fights today, 3 of which are from transfers alone. Damien will be fighting a boy from Erudite. Phoenix a guy from Candor.

For now we watch two guys fight, one of them originating from Amity.

It's a back and forth sort of fight. Fists meeting the faces of one another and knees connecting to groins.

"Come on, fight back!" Zach (the dauntless born) snaps, connecting his foot to shin of Kyle. Kyle groans but then presses Zach to the ground, punching him in the throat before Zach passes out.

"Round 1 winner: Kyle." Shauna announces, crossing off Zach's name and announcing round 2.

We watch the next 3 rounds and then Tobias calls for Damien and Oliver. Damien stands still, watching Oliver hop on both feet.

"Someone's jumpy." He laughs, lifting both fists and cracking his neck back. Oliver lunges and attempts to throw a punch. Damien blocks it and punches him in the abdomen. Oliver tries again, this time kicking Damien in the knee and throwing the punch at his eye. Damien seems dazed for a moment before throwing back the punch and hitting Oliver square in the jaw. From there they tackle each other to the ground and brawl back and forth until we've reached nearly 10 minutes of back and forth.

"That's enough!" I demand, calling the fight to an end. "It's a tie." I decide, both of the boys rising and shaking hands.

"Get some ice boys." I say, pointing to the cooler by the board.

The next 2 rounds go by and then it's Phoenix's fight. She's small compared to the Candor transfer Alex but fast so I know that she may be able to out wit him.

"Go on." Zeke says, offering the two to fight. Phoenix makes the first move, kicking for his stomach only to have her foot pulled and her back hit the ground. She rolls away before his foot can catch her hip.

"On your feet!" A girl encourages, Phoenix does as told and runs in for her second attack. This time her first meets his neck and he doubles over, gasping for air.

She takes this opportunity to knock into his side and pin him on the floor.

"Not bad." He decides, noticing the girl sitting on his chest, pining his arms over his head. She makes a disgusted sound and punches him near the eye. He lifts his knee and gets her back, she cringes and falls over, gasping for air. He takes this opportunity to sit on her, punching her in the jaw. He pulls back for another swing but she freed her arm, stopping the fist and turning his wrist so it's at its breaking point. She eyes him suspiciously before flipping him off her and declaring her ownership over the victory.

"I give." He says, cringing at his wrist that is probably damaged.

"Round 8 winner: Phoenix." Zeke declares, running the chalk over Alex's name. Phoenix steps off the mat and heads for some ice. She takes a pack and gingerly placed it on her back, taking the second one and icing her already bruising jaw.

"Why don't you go to the infirmary for that wrist Alex?" Tobias suggests, watching as he attempts to bend it.

"Phoenix go with him." Zeke adds, I turn to him in shock.

"Zeke!" I spit angrily, no one in the crowd hearing me.

"What?" He laughs. "Oh come on he wants to talk with her. His eyes were falling in love with that face."

"Fuck you man." Tobias says, dismissing the group for lunch.

"I swear to God, if she falls in love with this boy and he hurts her you'll be leaving Dauntless in a body bag." I seethed, walking out of the room with Tobias.

_**Phoenix's POV**_

"So are those your parents?" Alex asks me after a minute of silence.

"Yeah, they trained the initiates every year. Damien is my twin brother." I add finally looking at his eyes. They are blue, not the type that seem hollow but the bright kind. His hair seems black but after closer inspection looks to be a very dark shade of brown.

"How's the wrist?" I ask, pointing the bruised skin.

"Hurts but I guess that's what I get for challenging such a scary looking person like yourself."

"Oh yeah, I'm a total monster." I laugh, a coy smile playing on his lips.

"Got anymore siblings?" He asks me, still looking at the halls ahead.

"Yeah, I've got an 11 year old brother. His name is Ezra."

"You guys have cool names."

"Our parents were young." To this he laughs and readjusts the ice pack on his wrist.

"What was your family like?" I ask, his smile falling slightly.

"Small I guess. It was my mom, and sister. My dad died after getting pneumonia when I was 4." I stop walking.

"I'm sorry." I say, a clenching feeling gripping my stomach.

"You didn't make him sick. It's fine I guess. I mean my mom was really supportive and my sister, Avery, was always witty." His smile returns and he proceeds on walking, I follow.

"Why'd you switch?" Was my next question.

"Because I am a very good liar and hated being honest."

"You should teach me how to lie because I suck!" I exasperate.

"Well next time you talk to me try throwing in a lie, maybe then I can decide what is your telltale." He suggests.

"My family friend Chris was a Candor transfer. She told my mom that her telltale was biting the inside of her cheek."

"That's the easiest sign because we watch people talk. It's about as obvious as wandering eyes or stuttering." I realize that I enjoy the way he talks, the little wisdom that linger in each phrase.

"How old is Avery?" I ask, dismissing our previous topic.

"Turning 8 this October 2nd." He says.

"That's funny, Ezra turned 11 about 2 weeks ago, the 2nd of September."

"Well, a month apart in birthdays." Alex shakes his head and then looks around suspiciously.

"How do you know where we are going?" He asks me, confused by the many hallways.

"I spent a lot of my childhood in the infirmary. If I didn't break something I was probably getting stitches."

"True Dauntless from the start I guess."

"You will have to find out." I give him a wink and push open the door.

"Chris emergency!" I call into the empty wing.

"WHAT DID YOU DO NOW!?" She calls back, probably dealing with a patient.

"I didn't do anything for once." I say with a laugh, plopping myself on her desk and picking up a small frame with the image of Piper holding Thalia. Another one had Will kissing her cheek.

"Piper, and Thalia. They're the best." I say, pointing to each girl. Alex smiles and looks back at me.

"Avery looked like Thalia." He says, I giggle and put down the frame, lifting the second one.

"Will and Chris. The girls got Chris' looks but Will's eyes." I mention, admiring the picture a second longer until Chris walks out of her room.

"What's up buttercup?" She asks me, plucking the frame from my hands and placing it on her desk once again.

"My friend, Alex, here broke his wrist trying to knock me out." I say, pointing to Alex who smiles warily at Chris.

"Well let's see it." She urges, he extends his wrist and bits his lip while she prods two fingers in different angles.

"Not broken," Chris starts "But it is sprained. I'll get you a temporary cast to hold it in place. I'd say a week before it feels normal." She leans over and pops the bottom drawer of her desk to find the casting material. She pulls out a black velcro thing and covers Alex's wrist.

"You guys did some nice damage to yourselves." She said, taking my chin in her hand and taping my lip with her thumb. I cringe and swat her hand off.

"And it hurts if you touch." I say, watching her snicker.

"At least stop the bleeding." She suggests, handing me a tissue, which I press to my lip and pull away from the burn.

"Don't put a dry tissue on a dry lip genius!" She demands, taking back the tissue and walking to the sink. She soaks it and gives it back. "Geez, I thought you'd be smart enough to figure that one out yourself." She shakes her head while I press the now cool cloth to my lip.

"Sorry if I was to busy discovering how to put two and two together." I snap back, Alex gives a small snicker.

"Alright move on to lunch, my desk will break one day at the rate you kids sit on it." I stand up and hug her quickly before dragging Alex to the cafeteria.

"Want to eat lunch with my friends and I?" I ask as we both grab a tray.

"Sure." He agrees, grabbing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I do the same and place a large piece of cake on his tray. "That's huge!" He laughs while widening his eyes at the slice.

"Who said you were eating it alone?" I ask, pulling up two forks and motioning him to follow me.

"Hey guys." I smile at my brothers, Piper, and Izabel. "This is Alex, the guy I broke the wrist off." I announce proudly.

"You didn't break it. It was only a sprain." He contradicts placing his tray next to mine and sitting down.

"Oh same difference!" I demand, taking a bite from the cake.

"So Alex that is Damien, Ezra, Piper, and Izabel. Izabel is Shauna and Zeke's daughter also Ezra's bestest friend!" I say with a higher voice just like the two always use.

"Oh shut up Phoenix!" Ezra demands, I stick my tongue out at him and he gladly returns it.

"Nice to meet you all." Alex says with a small smile, he seems like the shy type I guess.

"So Alex, you did some nice work on Phoe over there." Piper laughs, pointing to my lip.

"I didn't really want to, I sort of had to."

"Oh and what an honor it was to have my lip split by you!" I say dramatically shoving him with my shoulder as he laughs again.

We continue eating, talking mainly about Thalia who sits at the next table with our parents, chewing on small chunks of peanut butter and jelly.

"Initiates, back to the training." Zeke calls after we get through most of our food.

I shove a mouthful of cake into my mouth and stand up, taking my tray with me to the disposal.

"Just take a bite and keep moving." Piper tells Alex, shoving a bit of our cake into her mouth as well. Damien does the same and finally Alex follows, throwing the leftover into the bin.

"That was good." He says as I swallow my last bit of cake.

"Oh yeah." I say satisfied.

"And just to let you know. I'll kick your ass next fight." He promises playfully.

"Are you saying you went easy on me?" I demand, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't." He shrugs so I punch him in the arm.

_**Tris' POV**_

We get the next few fights going, my eyes watching as Damien, Piper and Alex all watch the rounds go by together.

"Round-"

"Zeke, Max needs to talk to you." A man interrupts Shauna, the door opening suddenly therefore spooking everyone.

"Proceed, I'll be back shortly." Zeke leaves so Shauna calls Round 12, Sabrina and Farah. The round passes before Zeke returns, his face is flushed and he seems drained. "Four and Six, Max needs to tell you something…it's urgent." My heart sinks.

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**-Valentina **


	41. Chapter 41- Mara Rose

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 41  
Mara Rose

I clench Tobias' hand, fear over-riding every other feeling in me right now.

"Max," Tobias says, entering the room of highest power. "You wanted to see us?" He asks to which Max nods with a grim stare.

"Listen there has been an accident." He starts, running a firm hand over the back of his neck.

"What type of accident?" I ask shakily.

"A fire. In Abnegation. Several houses got destroyed during the process but the key burning started in the Prior household." I feel the tears working into my eyes.

"My parents?" I ask, biting my lip with great severity.

"They both perished in the flames, unable to make it out." I begin crying after those words leave his lips. Tobias pulls me to him and presses my head in his shoulder. My cries turn to sobs my tears begin to soak through Tobias' shirt but he doesn't release me. He holds me closer and kisses my head over and over.

"It is being speculated that the fire was caused by someone intentionally." Max blurts out after a few minutes. I look at him in shock.

"What?" I choke out, anger now getting the better of me.

"This is why I brought you here. I'm not just telling you what happened to your parents, I'm telling you why it all started."

"Then tell us because the sick bastard who murdered them needs to be found!" I spit.

"Your parents three years ago witnessed a murder. Some crazy factionless murdered this mother and ran, a toddler was left by the body. Your parents took the little girl and I guess chose to raise her with the inability to leave her there to die. They were receiving accusations of breaking the rules of the factions but they wouldn't put the girl back on the streets. A few days ago some angry faction member started the fire in hopes of killing the girl, your parents died in the mess of it all."

"What happened to her?" Tobias asks, looking to Max with pained eyes.

"Someone managed to get her out. Her cheek was burnt up along with her left arm and she inhaled a plentiful amount of smoke but she was alive none-the-less. Your brother, being the oldest sibling of you two, was offered the raise the girl, he refused. So now she is here, in Dauntless. You guys can take her or we can send her out on the streets."

"Won't the members be angry about faction rules?" I snap.

"Not after the trauma the girl went through. 3 deaths, all of which were against the people that loved her. They decided to break the rules for her." Max explains.

"Where is she?" I ask.

"I'll take you to her, but you have to be certain that you want to raise her."

"Of course we want to raise her!" Tobias says with disbelief. "What's her name?" He asks.

"Mara, she's five years old. Mara Rose is her full name, but if you sign to be her legal guardians it will be Mara Rose Eaton."

"We'll raise her, just please don't leave the poor girl alone. Take us to her so she won't be in that office any longer." I beg.

"Alright follow me." He says, gesturing us to follow him through the door and up four flights of stairs.

I've never been in this wing of the compound, nor have I seen this door with the name "Social Worker Georgina".

Max knocks and the door is opened revealing a quaint office with large filing cabinets and different faction names above. I guess this is where they keep the documents of the transfers. A lady sat at the desk, her black hair in a tight ponytail and clothing looking rather decent for a Dauntless.

"Georgina." Max says, shaking her hand and beckoning us inside. When we walk in I set the small girl. She stares at her feet as they swing back and forth beneath her. Her arm is wrapped, and she wears a large grey dress that is burnt at the ends.

She wears her hair in a black ponytail that has loose pieces hanging everywhere. She still doesn't look up.

"Four and Tris, I'm Georgina, Faction Social Worker for Dauntless. I'm sorry for your lose." She shakes my hand and then Tobias'. "Listen Mara has been through a lot. She is healthy aside from the burns but those should heal in at least a month. I suppose Max has told you everything?"

"He did." I say weakly, wanting to turn and look at the girl again.

"Well then you'd understand when I tell you she suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She has frequent nightmares and wets the bed every now and then. She's having some trust problems, which is understandable but I think once you make her your own daughter she will open up a lot more. While coming here and talking with me she had a break down once surprisingly. Most kids would never stop crying but she did well. She didn't talk very much but she's a good kid. A sad kid but a good kid." Georgina concludes. "If you guys are sure about this I have her papers ready."

"We're ready. We would never leave this girl." Tobias says, going up to the desk and taking the pen.

"Four sign here, and here. Tris you sign here and here." Tobias signs first and then I follow. As I sign my name I skim over her description. Black curls and light blue eyes. My heart flutters with the thought of seeing her eyes.

"Alright, take good care of her. She's still little, things can become good for her with you guys." Georgina shakes our hands once again and places the folder away, quickly talking to Max while I walk to Mara.

Carefully I crouch down by her chair and attempt to put on a gentle smile. Her feet stop swinging when she notices me and she lifts her head. The burn on her cheek is covered by a patch of white gauze and tape.

"Hi Mara," I say quietly her eyes deciding whether I'm trustworthy or not.

"Are you going to be my new family?" She asks in the smallest voice I've ever heard. Phoenix, Damien and Ezra all had strong voices that demanded to be heard while growing up, this girl seems like a polar opposite.

"Of course. Do you want to come with us back to our palace?" Tobias asks, crouching down to her height and tenderly stroking her hair back behind her ear.

"I don't know." She admits, looking back at her feet.

"Well we don't have to go back to our home right away. Do you want to go around the compound?" I ask, she looks at me again and gives a gentle nod. "Alright, come on." I say, standing up and offering my hand. She lifts her's and withdraws before deciding to slip it into mine.

We walk out of the room and down the four flights of stairs, Mara was already pressing back in hesitation.

"Hey, it's alright." Tobias promises, crouching on the floor and looking into the wet eyes of Mara. "Who's this?" He asks, pointing to her bunny.

"His name is Cloud." She says, holding the bunny up higher.

"Why'd you name him Cloud?" Tobias ventures on.

"Because clouds are white and fluffy, just like him." She explains. Tobias pets the toy's head and nods.

"He is very soft."

"Clouds can also be grey. That's why he's part grey now." She says, releasing my hand and pointing to the scorch mark on the bunny's foot.

"It makes him special." Tobias informs her with a small smile. "Come on, maybe we can get you a new dress." He stands and puts out both hands, offering to carry her. She looks at me for a moment and I give a nod of encouragement. She lifts up her arms finally and allows Tobias to carry her up on his hip.

We walk into the hectic compound where music blares and people jump around like it's first nature, Mara becomes curious by the commotion.

"Why are they fighting?" She points to the two men brawling in a group of people.

"People around here fight for a lot of reasons. For fun, to bet on something, to make a point, or sometimes when they are angry. It isn't right to fight when you're angry but it's okay if you just want to have fun." I explain. She nods and places her head back down on Tobias' shoulder. We walk into the children's clothing store, the colors mainly being dark red and black.

"Mara, do you like dresses or pants? Our daughter Phoenix liked pants when she was your age but that was because her brothers weren't wearing dresses." Tobias tells her, this gets a small giggle out of her.

"I like both." She says.

"Well we have a bunch of clothes from Phoenix the you can use but we want to get you an outfit for yourself." I say. "Pick anything." Tobias places her on the ground, we both follow her as she sheepishly runs a hands over all the outfits. She walks past the clothing and comes in contact with a blanket. It was black, sewed on the edges with pink thread and looked like the same texture as her bunny.

"Do you like that?" I ask her, she gives a quaint nod.

"Here, why don't we buy it for you?" I suggest, grabbing the blanket from the shelf and offering my hand to her. Again she takes it and walks with us to the cashier.

"5 points." The lady informs us. I tell her my name and she hands me the pad for my password. I press in the four numbers and take the blanket.

"Thank you." I tell the sales woman, exiting the store with Mara and Tobias.

"Here sweetie." I say, handing the blanket to her. She takes it and hugs it close with her free hand.

"Thank you." She whispers, lifting both arms for Tobias. He picks her up and asks how she felt about going to our house.

"Okay." She agrees, we head home from there with our new daughter.

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**-Valentina **


	42. Chapter 42- She Smells Like Lavender

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 42  
She Smells Like Lavender

"Alright Mara this is your new home." Tobias says, placing her on the floor while I shut the door. "Why don't you help her bathe while I get the old clothes out of the closet?" Tobias suggest to me, I nod and offer my hand to Mara.

"Come on princess, let's go get you cleaned up." I tell her, grabbing a towel from the entrance closet and walking to my bedroom and heading straight for the bathroom.

I flip the tap on and plug the drain, turning back to see Mara intently fixing her bunny's ears.

"Here, why don't we leave Cloud and your blanket right here?" I suggest, placing the cover of the toilet down and tapping the seat. She hands me the items and I sit them down carefully, knowing they are precious to her. I begin to unwrap her burns so they can get cleaned in the process, her arm being revealed first as I see the bright pink skin that glistens in the bathroom light. I reach for her face and pick the tape off lightly, pulling off the bandage to see her cheek, which is the same colour and shininess as her arm. After all the bandage comes off I toss the gauze away and begin to unbutton the front of her dress. She starts to help by going from the bottom. I take off the final grey button and slide the dress off to reveal her grey turtleneck. The arm of her left side is burnt to the elbow but her right is complete. I lift the shirt up and delicately slip her left arm out, finally having her pull her right from the sleeve.

She pulls off her underwear and throws it in the pile of clothes while I turn the tap off and test the temperature with my hand. It was just warm enough to keep her comfortable. I turn back around and stand up, picking Mara off the ground and placing her in the water.

"Is it warm enough?" I ask as she moves the water with the fingers of her left hand.

"Yes. Thank you." She says, continuing the swishing noises.

"Alright let's try to avoid mixing water with those burns." I suggest, placing a towel in the water and then reining it out. She extends her left arm to me and I wrap it, placing it on the tub edge as if it were an armrest.

"Good girl. Tip you head back and close your eyes." I say, taking the cup and filling it with water. She does as told so I cover her eyes and slowly soak her ink black hair. I take another cup full of water and then uncover her eyes.

"Were they your mommy and daddy to?" Mara asks me slowly as I reach for the shampoo bottle. I hesitate to turn back and see her face but I do and give a weak smile.

"They were. I loved them a lot." I say, beginning to lather the shampoo into her hair.

"Are you my new mommy now?" She asks, her eyes attempting to catch me in her limited vision. I stop my lathering of her hair and smile for real. With still soapy hands I cup her chin and turn her head to see me.

"I love you so much Mara. Even if you have only been mine for an hour I love you with all my heart." I tell her, kissing her little nose. "I promise never to leave my precious girl."

"Really?" She asks me skeptically, probably remembering her mom and my mom.

"Nothing will be able to take you away from me." I say, my eyes watering with tears. "Even if it means fighting off the scariest monster or searching to the ends of the earth to find you, I will do it."

"I love you too…. Mommy." She says kissing my nose. I laugh and go back to scrubbing her hair.

"Close your eyes." I say tipping her head back and soaking the lather with water. Once she is shampoo free I take the sponge and soap and wash her body from leftover ash and dirt.

"Here Tris and Mara. I managed to fin the pajama box, hopefully this will suffice for today." Tobias says, placing the stack of fresh underwear and black pajama pants and short-sleeve on the sink edge.

"Thanks, we are just about done here. Do you mind finding the gauze, tape, and antiseptic cream?" I ask, he nods and heads over to medicine cabinet, sorting through the different bottles and Band-Aids.

"Alright little girl, let's get you dried up." I say, wrapping the large towel around her small frame and taking her into my arms. I step around Tobias and place Mara down outside of the bathroom, unwrapping the towel and drying her hair with it. She shakes her hair lightly and then pulls the towel around her shoulders, shivering from the cold air of the room. Tobias comes out of the bathroom with a stack of clothes, gauze and a bunny and blanket.

"Well let's sort through this pile. Shall we?" Tobias gives a chuckle and I smile, taking the clothes and beginning to dress Mara. She slips the shirt on and then her pants taking her blanket around her shoulder.

"Is it going to hurt?" Mara asks Tobias as he opens the cream.

"I'll be as gentle as possible. You tell me if it hurts okay?" Tobias suggests, she nods and extends her arm out. Tobias takes her hand with his free arm and begins to gently apply the ointment.

"Owie." She says after a moment, attempting to withdraw her arm.

"Sorry baby, here try blowing on it." Tobias demonstrates by blowing a small stream of air on her arm, she relaxes slightly and then does what Tobias is doing. He finally gets both her cheek and arm covered with the ointment and gauze, adding the final piece of tape to secure it.

"Good job brave girl." Tobias says, standing up and handing me a hairbrush. I brush through her wet hair, admiring its natural bounce and ability to curl back into sweet ringlets. It was silky both wet and dry and she smelled of lavender despite me not using any lavender scents on her.

"All done." I announce, standing up and taking her into my arms. She places her head on my shoulder and holds her bunny closely. I walk out of the room and into the kitchen where Tobias is at work opening a jar of peanut butter and grabbing a bag of bread.

"Thought you might be hungry since you didn't have any lunch." Tobias tells Mara, covering both pieces of bread with peanut butter and jelly.

"Thank you." Mara smiles as I place her on the edge of the counter and stand in front of her, playing with one of the bouncy ringlets.

"I am the master at making peanut butter and jelly's. I've had 3 kids to test with." Tobias says, handing her the first half of her triangle cut sandwich.

"Thank you." She says, taking a bite and smiling at the delightful taste. "It's very yummy." She laughs, taking another bite and then another. Hunger was obviously getting the better of her.

"Are you thirsty?" I ask, she nods. I leave my place in front of her and retrieve a cup, filling it up with chilled water and returning to the hungry girl.

"Thank you." She says, taking a sip with my assistance since she can't use her left hand.

"Uh, daddy?" She asks, getting Tobias' immediate attention.

"Yes sweetie?" He asks her, turning to meet her eyes.

"I don't like to eat the crust." She explains, handing over the leftover from her first half. Tobias laughs and take the crust, taking a bite from it and grabbing a knife to cut the crust from the other half.

"Crust free, so now the little gross edges can't get to you." Tobias says, wiggling the crust at her and making her laugh.

"Crust is yucky!" She demands.

"No it is not!" Tobias says back in a sassy tone, taking a bite from the bread he just wiggled. "It is just as good as the middle." He adds. Mara shakes her head with a laugh and continues to eat her sandwich.

"Don't worry I never liked the crust either." I say to her tucking back a lose hair from her head. "Daddy's just crazy." This makes Mara laugh harder. Tobias tickles one of her toes before washing the plate and knife he used. Just as Mara swallowed her last bite she yawned, blinking her sleep deprived eyes.

"Come on sweetie. Dinner isn't for another few hours. Sleep and I promise to be here." I say, sitting on the couch and holding Mara on my lap so she is leaning on me. Tobias throws a blanket over us and kisses our foreheads before disappearing to find more of Phoenix's old things. I stroke back Mara's hair soothingly until I hear the light breathing that indicates rest. I fall asleep as well, indulged in her natural lavender scent and feel of her silk hair under my fingers.

~.~.~

I slept for an hour and awoken to see Mara has turned in her sleep so our chests are pressed together and her cheek laid on my collarbone, the same one with a missing raven now. I didn't dare move, she was tired and needed to rest so instead I began to run my fingers through her hair again and hum a lullaby.

"She still knocked out?" Tobias asks me while carrying a few boxes.

"Yeah." I say back quietly, he placed the boxes down on the counter top and came to my side, lifting Mara into his arms lightly and walking to our room. I stood up and folded the blanket, readjusting the cushions on the couch until Tobias returned empty handed.

"She's sleeping on our bed. I managed to get one of the kids old beds up, she now has a place to sleep across from Phoenix tonight." At this I smile.

"Remember not to long ago when Phoenix sprawled herself out on the train track and mentioned how she wanted a baby sister. We're a little late on that request but now she has one." Tobias laughs and comes to me, taking my hips and pulling me into him.

"This is going to be a good change in our lives. A scary change but a good change." He says, kissing my nose and then lips.

"I lost my parents to get her." I realized, sadness over taking my happiness.

"I know, but it's our job to protect the little girl they gave their lives for." He reminds me, wiping his thumbs under both of my eyes. "I'm not saying that you will get over it quickly but I'm telling you now that it gets easier to bare. My mom died when I was four, I was young but it still hurts to think about sometimes."

"I can't even believe Caleb would say no!" I change the topic quickly, anger breaking my sadness.

"He probably has a good reason." Tobias encourages but I shake my head.

"No one has an excuse to abandon a child like that." I abolish.

"She isn't abandoned though. We have her and we will never allow any harm to come to her." He promises, taking my hand and wrapping me in a hug with the other.

"Okay." I say, relaxing against his chest and allowing him to rock us back to a calming essence.

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**-Valentina**


	43. Chapter 43- I Want to Cut Out the Bad

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 43  
I Want To Cut Out The Bad

The kids came home an hour before dinner would be ready, Mara still slept in our bedroom, her head resting on my pillow as her hair sprawled against Tobias'.

"What happened to you guys? Zeke and Shauna were all flustered today while training us. We even got released early." Phoenix exasperated to us, Damien and Ezra following their sister.

"Look guys, we need to talk okay? Can you just sit down and listen for a minute?" Tobias asks, the both of us rise from the couch and motion for them to take our place.

"Fine, but we want answers. No broken disconnected words that you will trick us with." Damien says with a snicker, I push him down on the couch and join Tobias.

"There has been an accident involving my parents, your grandparents." I say, my throat tightened instantly.

"What happened?" Ezra asks worriedly.

"Well buddy, someone was very angry with them for breaking a faction rule." Tobias starts.

"That rule being?" Damien asks.

"They brought a factionless child into their home to raise her." I answer. "Some people didn't like that so they tried to burn down their house in hopes of killing Mara."

"Mara?" Phoenix asks.

"The girl my parents took in." I say. "Instead my parents burned to death." I say, tears threatening to appear.

"What happened to Mara?" Damien asks skeptically.

"She was managed to be taken out from the house, her arm and left cheek were burnt but she's alive none the less." I say. "My brother, Caleb, he's older so the social worker of Erudite offered him to raise her, he declined. Mara came here and your dad and I were in no position to deny this girl of a home. Especially after having her mother killed and then new family burned to death."

"So she's here?" Phoenix asks, pointing to the apartment.

"Yes, she is." Tobias informs them. "She's asleep in our room right now, she hasn't gotten much sleep or food in a few days so we are letting her catch up before dinner."

"How old is she?" Ezra asks.

"Five years old." I tell him, looking to our bedroom door expectantly. "Phoenix we are using some of your old clothes if that's okay?"

"Sure, yeah. Where is she sleeping?" I can see the spark of joy in her eyes.

"We hope you don't mind a new sleeping buddy because she sort of needs a room." I state, Phoenix's smile widens at the thought.

"Sure," She nods excitedly.

"There is a few problems though. She's a healthy girl but there has been a lot of trauma in her life. She suffers from PTSD, which is post traumatic stress disorder. She has a tendency to have nightmares and to occasionally wet the bed. If those ever occur in the night then come tell us, we'll deal with her and always allow her to sleep in our room." Tobias looks to Phoenix for the last bit, her eyes giving him an even stare as he tried to convince her of the severity.

"Okay." She agrees, throwing her feet up on the coffee table and relaxing against the couch. Ezra rises and comes to me.

"Sorry about your mom and dad." He says to me, wrapping careful arms around my waist.

"Thank you baby." I kiss his head and release his body from our hug.

"Yeah sorry mom." Damien hugs me and then Tobias leaving Phoenix sitting on the couch.

"Phoenix." Tobias says evenly, though you can hear the faint warning in his voice.

"Look I don't like to address... death." She says tightly, not looking at us. "It brings back those voices and I was hoping we can forget about what happened and focus on Mara. I'm sorry you lost your parents but I'd rather not think about it."

"That's okay." I say, taking a seat beside her and fixing her hair. "I don't want to make you go back into the scary place, I know what happened isn't comfortable for you," I take both her arms and flip them so the scars that formed from her clawing at them during an episode were exposed. "These are healed, I don't want to reopen something that is closed." I say, releasing her arms and taking her face in my hands.

"Thanks mom." She says, I kiss her forehead and pull her in for a hug. "I love you." She says.

"I love you more." I promise, kissing her forehead once more and rising from the couch.

"Get your brothers, we should probably go for dinner soon." I tell her.

"Wait mom." She grabs my hand.

"Yes baby?" I look at her from above, the same way we saw each other when she was just six years old.

"Alex asked me out after dinner. He wants to go and explore the compound some more." I instantly notice the rosie pink colour flood her cheeks.

"You should go." I tell her, my eyes looking to Tobias who is back at the counter, unpacking boxes.

"Really think so?" She asks me skeptically.

"Of course. I think he really likes you." I tell her with a wink. She laughs and releases my hand. I walk into my room and kneel down by the bed.

"Her baby, do you want some dinner?" I ask Mara as I stroke back her hair. She slowly opens her eyes and gives a yawn.

"Okay." She agrees sleepily. I smile and pull the blanket off her, offering my hand once she is on her feet. Together we walk out to the living room where she sits on the couch and holds Cloud on her lap.

"Hey pretty girl," Tobias comes behind the couch and crouches in front of Mara. "I found the clothes from Phoenix. Do you want to change or go to dinner like that?" He asks her, running a hand over her silk pajama pants.

"Can I go like this?" She asks, moving her leg back and forth.

"Sure baby, let me get you some shoes." Tobias rose and grabbed a pair of socks from the coffee table, walking back to the boxes and withdrawing a pair of black sneakers. Tobias helps get the shoes on her feet, they are a tad big but her feet seem to fit just fine.

"Mara these are your new siblings." I say upon the entrance of Phoenix, Damien, and Ezra. "Damien and Phoenix are twins, they're 16 and Ezra is 11." I introduce them, Damien plopping down on the single chair and Ezra plopping down on the coffee table in front of Mara. Phoenix approaches Mara, crouching by her and offering a very welcoming smile.

"You know I've always wanted a little sister? Having more boys than girls in the house was always annoying, you managed to even out the numbers." Mara giggles and tucks her hair behind her ear. She looks up and down her new sister, giving a longer careful look at Phoenix's hands.

"Did you get burned too?" Mara asks skeptically, taking a careful pair of hands around Phoenix's left and examining the scars.

"No, I didn't get burned. I had an accident, this is what it looks like after it's healed." Phoenix explains, taking her hand back and offering a weak smile.

"Will I get scars?" Mara asks, pointing to her arm and face.

"Maybe but my dad always told me how awesome scars make you. That they make you unique." Phoenix gave a small laugh and glance to Tobias before looking back to Mara.

"I like your braid." Mara addressed, playing the soft curl that ended the small thin braid tucked by Phoenix's ear.

"Thank you, I can braid your hair if you'd like me to." She informed Mara, running her fingers through the black hair that hung over her shoulder in perfect curls.

"Okay." Mara smiled with delight, scooting over so Phoenix could sit behind her and begin the two French braids. The whole time Phoenix braided, Mara played with her bunny's burnt foot, chipping off the crispy fabric as it fell in black shreds.

"You know our parents are friends with this lady named Marlene. She can sew or patch up just about anything. You can give her your bunny to fix." Ezra speaks up, extending is feet out to stretch out the pressure that has built from him sitting on them.

"Will she fix Cloud, mommy?" Mara asks me, lifting up the foot in question.

"I'm sure Marlene will be able to patch up Cloud's foot in no time." I say, sitting next to Mara and tucking a loose bang behind her ear.

"Okay." Mara nods at Ezra, he smiles with satisfaction and rises from the coffee table.

"We should go, dinner tonight is pizza!" Ezra announces excitedly, Tobias laughs and ruffles the hair of our son.

"Alright let's go then." Tobias agrees, coming to Mara and offering to lift her. She extends her arms upward and wraps them around his neck, her legs closing around his waist as he carries her up from the couch. Phoenix stands up and I follow, placing my arm over her shoulder and kissing her temple.

"Such a good big sister." I whisper, she laughs and walks with me by her side to the cafeteria.

Mara was telling Tobias how she got Cloud when Ezra and Damien opened the doors of the cafeteria, revealing the rowdy crowd of hungry Dauntless. Chris catches sight of us, her face contorts in confusion, her eyes jumping from Mara to me.

"Why don't you go and get food with the kids? I'll take Mara." I say, offering my hands out to Mara and allowing her to wrap herself around my embrace.

"Alright." Tobias agrees, taking Phoenix, Ezra, and Damien to the line-up while I walked toward the table of usual situation.

"Hey Tris." Shauna smiles while giving a quick eye to Mara but going back to her food without question.

"Hi guys." I smile, placing Mara on the bench and sitting next to her. She scoots close to me and squeezes her bunny in ultimate fear of her loud surroundings.

"Who's she?" Will asks with a kind smile to Mara, his fingers offering Thalia some cheese pizza with mushrooms.

"This is Mara. She is Tobias's and my new daughter." At these words everyone stops talking.

"Daughter?" Uriah asks in bewilderment, Marlene running a hand over her exponent stomach.

"Yes, daughter. She came to us after the most sever of times, an accident happened that burned her face and arm." I say lightly, avoiding all words involving the death of my mom and dad.

"You have very pretty eyes." Chris compliments Mara.

"Thank you." Mara whispers, releasing her grip on the bunny slightly but still clinging to my side.

"Mara, over there in that table the other kids like to sit. Do you want to join them?" I ask her, pointing to the place where Ezra is laughing at something Alex is saying.

"No thank you." She says close to me, turning her head back to eye the chipping black paint on the table.

Tobias slides into the bench next to Mara and pushes the tray covered with food into her view.

"Do you want to try some cheese pizza?" Tobias asks Mara, offering her the plate occupied by the triangular slice of warm pizza. Mara gives a quaint nod and takes a nibble from the slice. I start on my own slice and carefully watch as she eats with slow chews and small bites.

"So who's the dark haired heart-throb over there?" Shauna asks, Zeke widens his eyes at her and raises an eyebrow.

"Excusing me. Last I checked I'm your husband!" He demands, pointing at the ring shining on his left hand.

"Oh calm down Zeke! I'm freakin 36 years old. Why the hell would I go after a 16 year old?"

"Because you are a very sexy 36 year old and can literally have any guy you want with a bat of your eyelashes." Zeke expresses in angst, furrowing his eyebrows in absolute defeat.

"You need help." She tells Zeke before looking to the group again. "Seriously though, who's the kid and why is he being so sweet to our Phoenix?"

"That's Alex. He asked her out and now Phoenix is getting all excited because she thinks he likes her." I explain.

"We can throw him in the chasm if he hurts her right?" Uriah asks.

"Trust me, anyone who hurts my girl has some explaining to do." Tobias says, eyeing Alex who laughs with the group at something Piper said.

"I'm full." Mara says lightly, looking at her pizza with few bite marks leaving ¾ of the pizza.

"Mara, sweetie you need to eat more." I tell her, cocking my head forward so she is looking at me.

"My tummy hurts." She admits, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Are you sure it's not because you are hungry?" Tobias asks, Mara shakes her head.

"I want to go home." She says weakly, looking around at the rambunctious crowd. It occurs to me now the amount of stress she must be under. Originating from Abnegation where everything is mellow and noise is kept low creates a very hard move into Dauntless, I remember. Being 16 I was able to compose myself and deal with the emotions without to much thought but Mara is just 5, she can't take in this large group of people the same way I did, especially since it wasn't her choice so come here.

"Come with me, I want to show you some things." I tell Mara, rising from the bench and offering my hand. She takes it and walks with me out of the loud cafeteria and towards the chasm. I help her down a few of the rocks and sit her at a specific one, the same one Tobias and I kissed for the first time on.

"This is the chasm," I explain, the water below lightly running in a calm stream because wind was non existent outside.

"Where does the water go?" She asks me, looking to the far end of the black hole.

"I've never really found out, all I know is that when things get stressful this is a good place to come. Sometimes the water flows quickly so it sounds pretty loud but it is always a calming escape from the crazy Dauntless around here." I explain, noticing her amazement at the darkness below us. "I know it's scary for you," I start, running a hand over her braid. "And you know what? It's okay to be scared, I get scared even."

"What were you scared of?" Mara asks me, looking at me with wet eyes.

"I'm scarred of a lot of things I guess. Losing my family and friends mainly. Today has been pretty scary for me."

"Why?"

"Because when I heard the story of what happened to my parents and this little girl was mentioned I felt my heart tighten. I didn't know this girl, I didn't know her name or how she looked but I knew her story and I knew that she meant the world to quite a few people. All those people were taken from her and this ultimate fear took over that I won't be able to protect her and show her how much she is loved. And then I meet her, this blue eyed, black haired girl with the most beautiful face I have ever seen. I signed a paper but I knew that she was my little girl from the moment I entered that room. I love you in a way that I can't even describe, there's this part of me that just wants to cut all the bad out of your life and replace it with good. I know I'll never be able to do that."

"Everyone that loved me is gone." She says in despair, a single stream of tears falling from her eyes.

"I love you Mara." I tell her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her onto my lap.

"I just want-." She didn't tell me what she wanted because sobs began to rack her body. I ran my hand up and down her back, kissing her head.

"What do you want sweetie?" I ask her in a whisper close to her ear.

"I want the nightmares to go away." She cries out, covering her eyes with her palms. I turn her so she faces me, my hands draw her's away from the red puffy eyes.

"They will, one day you won't have those nightmares and I will be there to make sure they don't return." I swear, wiping her cheeks with my thumbs.

"I don't want you to leave me." She says tightly, a whimper escaping along with her words.

"I will never leave you Mara, I'm going to stay right here." I promise kissing her forehead and holding her close to me. "And if you ever feel like things are to scary or you want to talk to me we can come here. We will always come here and I'll hold you and promise you a better tomorrow."

"Okay." She manages to say, nodding in the crook of my neck.

"Let's go home." I tell her with a soft run of my hand up and down her back. I rise and walk with her body wrapped around mine towards the apartment. Slowly she gets heavier from exhaustion before being completely knocked out on my shoulder, her braids running against my bare upper arm.

I get the door open and slide Mara's sneakers off, my own convers following. Tobias and the kids aren't home yet giving the apartment and eary silence that rarely exists.

I swiftly make my way to the second door on my left and go to the new bed the sits in the corner opposed to the well-lived one that belongs to Phoenix.

I gently place Mara down on the bed, sliding the blankets from under her and then tucking them up to her shoulders. She curls up in comfort and holds Cloud to her body with great protection. I kiss her forehead and analyze the covered cheek. This is all too much for someone this little. That's all I can conclude before the tears start to fall and my body leaves the room against my mental thoughts of staying and holding Mara. I walk into my own room and crawl onto my bed, a pillow being clutched into my chest as I sob even harder.

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**-Valentina **


	44. Chapter 44- Outlaws: Dangerous and Free

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 44  
Outlaws: Dangerous and Free

_They're dead because of you. _My mind seethes aggressively. _If you chose Abnegation then they wouldn't be dead. _It spits. _They'd be alive, and you wouldn't be a murderer. This is all your-_

"Tris." Tobias' calming voice cuts away my demeaning ones. He walks a little further into the room, shutting the door and then venturing towards me.

"They're dead. My brother is a back stabber. I don't even-" More sobs take over my words.

"Hey, hey, hey." Tobias says rapidly in a soothing tone as he rushes to my side and pulls me into his warm chest. "They're not dead, not if you still love them and hold them in your heart." He promises, dismissing my lost words. "And Caleb, he's different, he's not that selfless boy you remember that offered his seat and assistance to the needy. He's an Erudite, logistics takes over everything else and he didn't believe in the requirement of needing a daughter." Tobias explains, stroking my hair and holding me close.

"She sang to me every night when I was growing up. The same song, every night! I never felt safe without it so after my father told her to stop because it was selfish to have me get what I want I felt empty. I didn't know what to do so I laid awake each night and cried until I began to sing. I would sing so lightly that no one in the house would hear, but just loud enough for my own mother's voice to take over in my mind." I tell Tobias, he doesn't speak, only sighs in disdain as his hand runs over my back.

"Do you think she sang for Mara?" He asks. I shrug against him and sniffle.

"Maybe," I whisper, my fingers trialing over his chest as a distraction.

"She won't be dead if you continue to sing that song, especially to Mara."

"It was the same song I sang to the twins and Ezra. I haven't sung it ever since Ezra was 3. It won't be the same." I argue, now effortlessly tracing letters on his chest.

"You feel that way because you know she isn't on Earth anymore but that doesn't mean she isn't here. Sing for Mara and you'll realize that." He says with a strong voice, attempting to transfer some of this determination into myself. "Outlaws?" He asks abruptly, my fingers stop immediately.

"What?" I ask in confusion.

"You wrote outlaws. Like the song." He remembers, humming the tune that makes my heart-clench.

"It makes sense why she sang it to me now." I tell him. "Outlaws meaning Divergents, uncontrollable and free but in a dangerous way that must be kept hidden."

"I'm surprised neither Damien or Phoenix were Divergents, I mean it's a mentality but it's also based on your parents way of bringing you up. We never directed the kids to be one thing, we taught them to be Selfless, Kind, Honest, Wise, and Brave." Tobias speculates as his arms shift me so I'm lying on top of him with my head tucked under his neck.

"They've learned how to be all of those things but they grew up with the influence of bravery being their key to success. Their aptitude tests said Dauntless, just as it should be." I reply, moving my hands under his shirt so my fingers can graze over his scars.

"Did you tell everyone about my parents and Mara?" I ask after a moment of our hands aimlessly grazing over each others warm skin.

"I did, Chris said she'll care for her burns tomorrow if you'd bring Mara over while I train the initiates."

"Okay." I agree.

"Lynn had some big news." He starts.

"Being?" I ask, turning my head up so my chin rests on his chest and my eyes can watch his.

"She met someone, this girl named Ronnie. I think Lynn is really happy with her, she's inviting her to sit with us tomorrow." I smile at this news, Lynn was always set forth with her interest in women opposed to men, in fact she took pride in this interest, willingly admiring a woman for being beautiful or attractive. I for one, am happy to know that she has found love.

"That's amazing." I say, giving a small giggle.

"I agree, she seemed really happy."

"Ever notice her interest in Marlene?" I ask with a sly smile.

"What do you mean?" Tobias asks with a dumb-ford grin.

"She never liked watching Uriah and Marlene kiss, and when she learned about Marlene's pregnancy, boy was she shocked."

"We were all shocked about Marlene's pregnancy." Tobias reminds me, his fingers sending chills up my spin.

"I know, especially after being declared nearly infertile. Her and Uriah took that hard. I'm glad she's finally able to have a baby though, and she's only 34, that age is perfectly appropriate." I say, running my fingers over the stubble growing on his chin.

"Yeah but Lynn wasn't jealous, was she?" Tobias asks.

"Lynn's always liked Marlene in a different way from all of us. It may seem sisterly but Lynn really liked her. Ronnie is going to be good for her, it'll give her something new to love." I say thoughtfully, Tobias gives a small laugh and pecks my forehead.

"Are you okay now?" He asks me once my head settles on his chest and my ear is pressed over his heart.

"Not really. But I will be." I promise, his heartbeat lulling me into a serenity that distracts the pain in my heart from persisting.

~.~.~

I never suspected her to sleep through the night. Nightmares and wetting the bed being of the most prominent of her post traumatic stress disorder I knew it would take years for her to truly have a perfect nights rest. What I didn't expect was Phoenix being the shadowed face that loomed over Tobias and I at 3 in the morning. Her face was blanche with lack of blood and her hands shook.

"Phoenix what's wrong?" I ask sleepily as I force myself to sit up and wipe my tear streaked face from crying earlier that night from my own coursing nightmares. It was all a dark vision but I heard the screams of my parents as they burned in the fire that stole their lives. I shot up in bed after that nightmare and began to cry until Tobias pulled me into him and soothed me back to sleep.

"Mom Mara is… I don't know what she's doing but it's freaking me out." She explained calmly, her face showing us the real fear of watching Mara awaken in terror.

Tobias starts to get up so I follow, taking Phoenix by the shoulders and leading her back to her room.

"She's okay, it was probably a nightmare." I assure Phoenix calmly, she nods and leans into me slightly.

Tobias walks in first, all we can see is a black ball sitting up in bed as she holds her legs with one arm and looks to her burn in agony. Tobias sits on the bed first while I lead Phoenix back to her bed.

"Hi Mara, what's wrong sweetie?" Tobias asks softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. She whispers something, lifting her burnt arm in the process as more tears tumble from her eyes. I quickly get to her side and ask Tobias' same question.

"The fire." She sobbed incoherently, breathing heavily and attempting to explain. "Mommy and daddy!" She sobbed louder. "My arm hurts." She breaks down into a million tears, I cut off all speech by pulling her into my arms and cradling her shaking body. She continues to cry into my chest my own tears forming from her sadness.

"We'll take her to our bed." Tobias tells Phoenix before kissing her forehead and helping me rise from Mara's bed with her still clinging to me. I walk with Tobias pressing his hand into my lower back, his eyes looking to Mara with great worry. Once back in our room I lay in my spot, my body up against the headboard while Tobias pulls the blanket over Mara and I. She lies on my chest, her crying lightning as I kiss her forehead.

"You don't have to tell us. Just sleep okay? Daddy and I will keep you safe." I promise, she nods slightly and moves her arms so they wrap around my neck.

"Can you sing?" She asks me with great weariness. My throat tightens and I begin to wonder how the words from the old song Ezra last heard would come from my mouth.

"Yeah, I can sing for you." I tell her, humming the start of the tune and then bringing up the words.

"I took you at your word,

when you said you would steal my heart.

Yeah this might sound absurd,

but would you be my thief,

take all of me,

every part.

Love love love is my crime.

So baby come catch me and let's do the time

I think we might be outlaws.

I think I might be in love.

'Cause I'm all out of reasons,

like seasons,

Winter, summer, fall

they're all washed up.

If you're still way over there,

maybe slide on in by my side,

'Cause I'm just an outlaw,

wanted if you want me.

I love you everyday and every night.

Oh whoa

Lock me up for good,

Right here in your arms.

You vandalize my neighbourhood,

with your piercing eyes

and devilish charm.

Love love love is my crime.

So baby, come catch me and let's do the time.

I think we might be outlaws.

I think I might be in love.

'Cause I'm all out of reasons,

like seasons,

Winter, summer, fall

they're all washed up.

If you're still way over there,

maybe slide on in by my side,

'Cause I'm just an outlaw,

wanted if you want me.

I love you everyday and every night.

Oh whoa

Love love love is my crime.

So baby, come catch me and let's do the time.

I think we might be outlaws.

I think I might be in love.

'Cause I'm all out of reasons,

like seasons,

Winter, summer, fall

they're all washed up.

If you're still way over there,

maybe slide on in by my side,

'Cause I'm just an outlaw,

wanted if you want me.

Baby we're just outlaws

Baby I'm so in love.

'Cause I'm all out of reasons,

like seasons,

Winter, summer, fall

they're all washed up.

If you're still way over there,

maybe slide on in by my side,

'Cause I'm just an outlaw,

wanted if you want me.

I'm just an outlaw,

wanted if you want me.

I love you everyday and every night."

By the time I'm humming the ending tune Mara is asleep on top of me, Tobias holds my waist and draws me into him.

"You never forget about the people you love, and you never forget how they made you feel good." He says in acknowledgment to my remembrance of the song.

"It hurts to sing, it's like she's there but she keeps disappearing." I admit with a strained voice.

"At least you get to see her." He complies, peeking my temple and trailing the kisses down my jaw. I give a small sniffled laugh as he kisses behind my ear and then loops down to my lips and presses them to mine. "Mara needs this, she needs to remember the people that loved her as well. You are helping her accomplish that."

"I hope so." I sigh, rubbing my head into his shoulder and snuggling Mara close to me.

"You are not going to let her go, are you?" Tobias chuckles slightly, I shake my head with a small smile working on my lips.

"I promised to protect her with my own life. She's my baby, I love her and will never allow her to think otherwise."

"All of our kids are loved beyond compare."

"I'd rather show them that it's okay to care for someone with such passion that it hurts, rather than nothing at all." I say, looking at Tobias' dark eyes.

"That is the greatest life lesson someone can teach them."

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**-Valentina**


	45. Chapter 45- My Little Raven

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 45  
My Little Raven

"Wake up my sleepy children." I say into the boys' room, Mara trailing behind me as her hand clings to my black v-neck. I quickly open the curtains of the boys room and watch them cringe from the morning light. I exit the room and head to the second door.

"Phoe, sweetie it's morning." I say, sliding the curtains open and leaving the room with a snap of my fingers. "Come on everyone breakfast is in 30 minutes and then I've got to take Ezra to the train tracks, and Mara to the infirmary. Phoe and Damien you guys can't be late for training! Your dad will lose it otherwise." I warn, turning back to the girls' room and heading for Mara's bed. Phoenix is already sitting up, running her hands over her face and yawning.

Mara releases my shirt while I start on her bed, adjusting the sheets and placing the fallen pillows back at the headboard

"What do you want to wear?" I ask Mara, opening one of her dresser drawers and looking at her light eyes.

"Jeans and a shirt please." She decides, grabbing my shirt again and drawing herself towards me.

"Good choice." I nod, pulling the requested outfit and walking with her out of the room. "23 minutes lazy." I warn Phoenix who lazily makes her bed. She nods and works faster, still acting rather sluggish.

"Lets get you a quick shower and then we can meet daddy for breakfast." I tell Mara, she nods and walks behind me into the bathroom. The mirrors are still foggy from the steam that the hot water I used left, Mara immediately takes interest in it. She limbs on top of the toilet and starts running her finger over the fogged patch to draw out a shape. I begin to fill the tub blindly because I'm to transfixed on the image Mara is working on.

"Like your ravens." She said softly once the shape was done. It was identical to my ravens, this one flying in the same direction and poising its neck to the left where my left shoulder blade would be poised.

"How did you know they were ravens?" I ask her, lifting her pajama top off her and fixing the messy hair that came with it.

"Because ravens wings curve down, crows have straight wings." She analyzes, running a finger over one of the ravens on my collar bone. I feel the slight curve at the end of each wing.

"You're very smart aren't you?" I ask her with a slight laugh as I throw her pajamas by the door. She gives a shrug and offers her arm to me. I begin to unwrap carefully, watching for any signs of discomfort.

"We need to move quickly otherwise breakfast will start without us." I warn her once the bandage gets disposed.

"Okay." She agrees, hoping from the toilet seat and climbing into the tub.

"Where's daddy?" She asks me.

"Setting up for training the initiates. After Chris looks at your arm and cheek we will go and help him."

"Who's Chris?" She asks me as water runs down her back.

"Chris and I were initiates together. She was also one of my first friends here, and I love having her."

"What's she like?"

"Chris wants nothing but the best for you. She will be honest even if you wish she wouldn't be, but I think that's what makes her so special. She's right about a lot of things and she loves so deeply that it hurts. I want you to know that Chris will be there for you along with Will, and Shauna, Zeke, Lynn, Marlene, even Uriah."

"Okay." She smiles, standing up and allowing me to wrap the heavy towel around her and run it over her drenched hair. She steps out and leaves the bathroom; I'm close behind her with a hairbrush and two hair ties.

"Do you want a braid?" I ask her, showing the hair-ties wrapped around my wrist. She gives a smile and nod, approaching the bed so I can sit on it and begin the braids. I brush through the wet locks and then do a simple French braid down her back, ending in a perfect ringlet.

"Let's get you dressed." I decide once the braid is perfectly rested between her shoulder blades. She takes my hand and follows me as I lead her toward the dresser where her clothes lay on top.

"13 minutes slow pokes." Ezra calls from outside as I finally roll the cuffs of Mara's skinny jeans. I never thought someone could be smaller than Phoenix, then again Phoenix was getting taller by the age of 5.

"Come on guys. Breakfast starts in 13 minutes according to Ezra!" I call through the apartment, helping Mara into her shoes while I get my own on.

"I was right, it's almost 7:30. It's 7:17." Ezra says knowingly, throwing on a hoodie and reaching for his backpack.

"Yeah, yeah we get it god of the obvious!" Phoenix demands, coming to the entrance with heavy eyes and yawning.

"How long were you out with Alex last night?" I ask her, placing a hand on my hip and raising my eyebrow.

"Not that long. I got home at like 10ish." She guesses, shoving Ezra in the forehead and reaching for the doorknob.

"Phoenix I want the truth." I say suddenly, stopping her from getting the door.

"Fine I got home at like 3 but I swear we did nothing." She answers quickly looking at me with the same eyes Tobias uses when he wants to avoid a fight.

"Damien take Ezra and Mara to the cafeteria. Your dad should be there already so leave Mara with him." I say, offering Mara to take Damien's extended hand. She skeptically grasps it and leaves the apartment with a quick glance to me before I shut the door.

"Start speaking young lady because you coming home at 3 in the morning is unacceptable." I reprehended while I stand in front of the door.

"We were in the pit. People were partying so we joined and I lost track of time. Alex and I didn't drink a thing, all we did was dance and have a good time." She argues.

"When did Alex leave?" This question causes her to look at her feet.

"I don't know." She mumbles.

"You don't know! What the hell does that mean Phoenix because I'm tired of trying to pry things from you?" I yell at her, she shrinks back slightly and allows tears to break through her eyes.

"I left when…" She chokes back slightly but then continues, "Some guy, he tried to touch me. He was pushing me against the pit wall and telling me that I was pretty, and drunk and I don't know I got scared so I tried pushing him off me and ran."

"Phoenix why didn't you tell me that happened?" I ask in shock as she sobbed.

"Because when I got home I saw Mara sitting up and mumbling things to herself so I didn't want to tell you then." She yells in despair.

"What if he raped you?!" I scream back while my own tears cloud my eyes.

"I wouldn't have let him, I'm strong enough to take care of myself." She argues.

"Phoenix you don't know the power some of these people have."

"And you do?" She cries.

"Of course I do! Listen initiation is ruff and in my time we had cuts, people were aggressive and willing to do anything and everything in their power to get to the top. Even the people you thought were your friends would destroy you." I feel the sudden rush of sage and lemon grass run through my nose. The same smell that filled the dorm because AL would toss and turn at night.

"It wasn't an initiate though, he was older."

"Phoenix I can't read your mind, just describe him then!"

"I don't know mom! I was scared so I don't remember anything. He was short and had- I don't know!" She sobbed loudly, throwing her hands up in despair. Her hands clapped over her ears and she walked to the couch with shut eyes. I instantly know the voices and men are coming back.

"Phoenix, they're not real." I tell her softly now, sitting next to her and prying her hands from her ears. "They're not real." I convince her, catching her red eyes and running a hand over her wet cheek. "Just try to remember, anything."

"He had orange carrot hair. It was ugly hair." She says angrily, fisting her hands but I unclasp them immediately. Suddenly I feel a surge of anger rush through me.

"Come on sweetie. I won't let anyone hurt you again. I need to talk to your dad about this." I stand her up and rush out the door. My stomach felt heavy like a stone and I could feel the hands of three men wrap around me in the eerie night hallways of Dauntless.

"Go and find your brothers." I tell Phoenix as soon as we enter the cafeteria, I go straight to our table.

"Hi Tris." Tobias smiles, rising from the table and offering me to sit. I walk past him and towards another table, my hands clench at the sight of his profound drunkenness and hunched shoulders.

"What do you want?" Peter asks me as he offers a snide smile and pulls Molly closer into him.

"I want to talk to that douche bag." I point to Drew who blows out a puff of annoyed air. "Now." I add.

"Look Stiff, Drew doesn't want you. You're a whore asking to be with him." Molly spits back at me, I scowl at her and look back to Drew.

"Now Drew, or do I need to drag you out of the damn cafeteria?"

"I don't know what's your problem but-"

"My problem is that you tried to rape my daughter!" I scream at him, causing the cafeteria to fall silent.

"Who the short red-head? She was asking for it." He laughs, I instantly run for him. I punch him right off his bench and so the fight begins.

"What the fuck!?" He screamed, standing up and coming towards me, I can see Tobias trying to break through the large crowd. I kick Drew back and push him against the wall. He swings and catches my jaw, I feel the blood gather in my mouth immediately. I press my arm into his throat and stare at him with daggers.

"Touch my daughter or any of my kids ever again and I will kill you." I threaten.

"There is always that chasm stiff. I'm just trying to get what I deserved that night before Four showed up." I lose my guard immediately because I know what he wanted. Sex, he, Peter, and maybe even Al wanted to rape me for their own pleasure that night and since they never got that Drew is trying to get back at me. I snap back to reality when I feel his hands shove me back and a fist meet my nose. I fall back and allow the next hit to come at my rib cage with a heavy boot.

"Hey!" I hear the aggressive shout from Shauna as she shadows over me and pushes Drew back. "Leave if you know what's best for you." She warns him, Zeke comes to her side and points to me, she is soon kneeling by my side and tapping my cheek.

"Tris," Tobias breathes heavily, sliding next to me and cradling my head.

"I need to kill him!" I say angrily, trying to sit up only to have Chris press me back against Tobias.

"He didn't break your nose but it's bleeding pretty bad." She analyzes. "Piper go and get some paper towels please." Chris orders her daughter, I catch sight of my own children running with her with fearful eyes. Mara stands by the large crowd and watches with tears running down her face.

"Mara." I whisper to Tobias, again trying to sit up, only to have him press me back down.

"She's fine, just scared. Where did he kick you?" Tobias asks me rapidly, running a hand over both ribs.

"My left side, I'm fine though." I argue.

"Show's over idiots." Lynn snaps at everyone, the crowd diminishes back to their tables.

"Here." Piper hands Chris the many paper towel pieces, which are immediately placed on my nose.

"Is your rib broken?" Tobias asks me with concern.

"No, bruised maybe but not broken. Just please let me stand up." I plead, sitting up finally and groaning at the ache in my side.

"Careful." Chris warns, helping walk me to a table and having me sit on the bench.

"Mommy?" Mara approaches me doubtfully, hanging close to Marlene who carefully runs a hand over her shoulder.

"Come here baby. Mommy is okay." I promise her, offering an extended hand and pulling her into me. "Don't worry." I press her head into my shoulder and hug her closely. I remember how her mom was beat to death and even though she was only 2 I'm sure she can remember how that moment played out.

"Mommy why did he hurt you?" She asks inquisitively, hugging me around my neck.

"Because I wanted to hurt him first. He tried to hurt Phoenix so I tried to protect her." I tell Mara gentle, she pulls back and catches my eyes.

"Will you protect me like that?"

"Mara I will always be there to take away the bad guys even if it means a few bloody noses and bruised ribs." I promise her while kissing her forehead and tucking her hair behind her ear. "No one will ever be able to take away my little raven."

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**-Valentina **


	46. Chapter 46- We Dance To His Heartbeat

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 46  
We Dance To His Heartbeat

"I don't like doctors." Mara decides as we enter the infirmary so Chris can look at her burns.

"Why not?" I ask her, walking up to the front desk and asking for Chris.

"In her office." The receptionist says. I thank her and head for the second door on my right.

"Because they hurt." She says without another thought, holding back once Chris opens the door.

"Hi Mara." Chris smiles, moving out of the way so we can enter. "How's the rib?" Chris asks me, eyeing my side with suspicion.

"It's fine, Tobias made sure I was iced and not train jumping before her left for training." I say, helping seat Mara on the bed with crinkling paper. I groaned slightly as I did.

"Maybe you shouldn't lift anyone either." She suggests, pointing for me to sit down, I do but continue to hold Mara's shaking hand.

"So Mara, how does your burns feel?" Chris asks as she removes the tape and gauze from her small cheek.

"It feels numb." She claims while allowing Chris to hold her chin and analyze the glazed like skin.

"Okay do you feel any pain when water is added?" Chris ventures on, undressing the wrist to match the cheek.

"It stings."

"On a scale of 1 to 10? 1 being light 10 being that it causes you to cry." Chris asks.

"7." Mara decides, looking at her arm in dismay.

"Can you move your wrist for me?" Mara does and flinches slightly but doesn't stop until Chris removes her thumb and index finger from the beginning of the burn. "Fingers as well?" Mara easily wiggled her slender fingers and looked to Chris expectantly.

"Well nerve damage does not seem to be of concern. The burns are most definitely minor 3rd degree though so keep an eye on any inability to move her arm around. I'm going to prescribe you escharotomy to help with the scabbing and blistering progress." Chris says while heading for the glass cabinets and with-drawing bottle filled with cream.

"What's es-char-tmy?" Mara asks in a very confused matter.

"Escharotomy is a cream that helps with the healing stage called eschar. That's when the wound scabs and prevents blood-flow, this cream will keep the area flowing with blood and shorten scabbing." Chris says, handing me the bottle and sitting on the bed next to Mara.

"Okay." Mara nods, looking at Chris. "Mommy says I can trust you. Is that true?" Mara asks her, Chris laughs and gives a warm smile.

"Of course Mara, I will be there for you if your mommy or daddy can't be. Besides I only live a few hallways away." She promises, giving a small wink and hopping off the bed. "Now, let's re-dress these burns." Chris suggests as she reaches for new gauze and tape.

"How long until they heal?" Mara asks Chris.

"A month maybe. They're not that bad." Chris begins the application of the cream, which immediately brings relief to Mara.

"That feels nice." Mara sighs.

"Good, that's exactly what we want." Chris laughs, dabbing her burnt cheek and closing the bottle. Chris efficiently wraps the burns and helps Mara from the bed before sending her to look at the cool box of stickers at the end of the large office.

"What happened this morning?" Chris asks me as soon as Mara is out of ear-shot.

"Drew, he tried to rape Phoenix last night." I say tightly making Chris gasp. "He was pushing her against the pit wall and convincing her that she was pretty and drunk. She freed herself and ran before he could do anything bad."

"Poor girl, did he hurt her?"

"No, she's just shaken up. I refuse to let Drew or Peter near any of my kids though." I say before Mara comes back with a small sticker in her palm.

"You like this one?" Chris asks as she kneels by Mara.

"It's a raven." Mara smiles as she points to the sticker in her hand.

"Just like your mom. Do you want me to put it on you?" Chris asks, Mara nods excitedly. Chris takes the sticker and removes the back before pressing it into Mara's collarbone, just over her heart.

"Look mommy, I'm just like you." She says with joy as she shows me the pretty birds.

"Just like me, my little raven." I laugh, wrapping her into my arms and lifting her off the ground.

"Don't I hurt you when you lift me?" Mara asks me worriedly.

"No sweetheart, I'm just fine with you here." I kiss her forehead and snuggle her closer.

"So when is she going to start school?" Chris asks me as she leans against the bed.

"She's going to start after Christmas break. It's kindergarten, all they learn how to do is read and count. Mara can already do both."

"You can read?" Chris asks with a smile. Mara nods and looks to me.

"She sure can. This morning while I was icing my ribs Mara read to me a story." I say proudly.

"What story did you read?" Chris asks Mara.

"I read 'Rapunzel'. It's a very good book." Mara replies, nodding at her decision of judgment over the book.

"And you are a very smart girl." I promise her, kissing the end of her nose.

"Are you going to train with Tobias?" Chris asks, Mara nods for me.

"Yup, we are heading over there right after this." I say.

"Well I've got a patient in need of attention so call me if she has a reaction to the cream." Chris looks to her beeper, which flashes blue.

"Alright thanks Chris."

"Thank you Chris." Mara says after me, waving to Chris as we leave the infirmary and she heads into a new room.

"Do you want to see daddy?" I ask Mara.

"Yes, thank you for taking me to the doctor." Mara smiles, nuzzling into my shoulder.

"Of course sweetheart, that's my job as mommy. To make sure you are never in pain." I inform her, kissing the top of her black hair.

~.~.~

"Keep your guard up, even when your opponent is down never turn away." Tobias instructs a boy who nods and runs back to his punching bag. Damien gives a smile an wave to Mara as we pass his bag and quickly watch him beat the worn down sack. By the time we get to Tobias he is already smiling at us and reaching out for Mara. She easily wraps herself into his arms, relieving my flaring side of the weight.

"Hi lovelies." Tobias greets, peeking Mara's forehead and connecting his lips to mine. I hold his warm arm and kiss him back. "How was the doctor?" Tobias asks Mara while he bumps her up on is hip slightly and tucks a loss strand of hair behind her petit ear.

"Good, I got a sticker like mommy." Mara informs him in her light voice while pointing to her collarbone.

"Wow, just like her's." Tobias says enthusiastically as he runs a careful finger over the bird and turns to the group of initiates. "Mara these are Dauntless initiates. They are training to be apart of the protection and law-enforcement of all five factions." Tobias tells the very observant Mara who turns to look behind him.

"Why are Phoenix and Damien here?" Mara asks as she points to Damien and looks for Phoenix.

"Because they are 16 years-old. When you turn 16 you get an aptitude test and then get to pick a faction. They both chose Dauntless."

"Oh." Mara nods and runs her hand over Tobias' back and eagerly looks around. "Mommy where's Phoenix?" She finally questions.

"I don't know sweetie." I say, following her lead and looking around.

"I sent Alex and her to get some more ice packs from the freezer." Tobias says, as he takes my hand with his free one and walks us to the rank board. Despite cutting being a non-existent part of Dauntless Initiation, we have rankings and it helps encourage everyone to work harder and to be the best they can.

"Look Damien is in 1st!" Mara says in her hushed tone that squeaks with excitement. "And Phoenix is 4th. Why daddy?" Mara asks.

"Phoenix is a very wild girl with strong abilities but she needs to learn how to apply and use them properly." Tobias says gently as he presses a button on a remote to change the screen. Instead of rankings we see fighting tactics showing angles and depth perceptions.

"No one ever listens to this, but it must be shared." Tobias sighs as he places Mara down and calls the attention of the initiates. And so the lecture began about the proper angles you must be in order to deliver the right punch. In my opinion as long as you hit something that makes your opponent hurt, you've done it right.

_**Phoenix's POV**_

We were back to an awkward silence, Alex glanced at me as though I was broken or something, his gaze eventually trailed and he caught sight of my palms. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath before stopping my strides and freezing in place. Alex quickly noticed and turned to see me.

"I was 3 when it started. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia because of these voice and images that I made up in my mind. They never go away, and never will so I'm on medication for it. Two medications actually, Lutuda and Quetiapine. Umm when I was 14 I forgot to take my medicine and ended up having an 'episode'. I clawed at my wrists and hands leaving me with these." I show my very scarred skin to him and sigh in defeat.

"What happened to you last night?" He asks me with concerned eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it." I say tightly, trying to press my tears back.

"Did he hurt you?" Alex asks skeptically. "The guy that your mom fought with this morning?" Alex ventures.

"No, but he wanted to." I say.

"Why didn't you find me and tell me? I could have helped you."

"What could you have done?" I ask in a whisper.

"Beat the shit out of him for being so disgusting around such a beautiful girl like you." He says confidently, a ghost of a smile plays on my lips.

"You think I'm pretty?" I ask him.

"I didn't say pretty, I said beautiful. And yes, I do think you are one beautiful young lady." At these words I blush and tuck my short hair behind my ears. "Phoenix I'd like to do over last night. I want to make it perfect." He says while approaching me.

"We can go out tonight." I suggest and I feel his warm hand move around to the small of my back, his other intertwines with my right.

"I mean now." He whispers, removing his hand from my back and leading my left to his right shoulder. His hand goes on my back again and then we begin to sway. Back and forth to a non-existent beat, the only sound I can hear is our feet tapping the ground lightly. "You're perfect Phoenix, even if you can see things no one else can. It means you see the world in a different, unique way."

"Thank you Alex." I smile at him before moving closer and pressing my head into his chest. Now there is a beat to follow, this beat being the one of his heart, which is calm and strong, just like Alex.

* * *

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**-Valentina **


	47. Chapter 47- Our Hectic Lives

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 47  
Our Hectic Lives

_**Tris' POV**_

Lunch time came quickly, Tobias and I sent off the initiates and gathered Mara who slept on a bench with my jacket under her head and Tobias' larger one draped over her tiny body.

"Should we wake her for lunch?" I ask Tobias as he dresses a shivering Mara in his black hoodie and lifts her up into his embrace so her feet are tucked at his chest.

"Let her sleep. When she wakes up we can take her to the cafeteria for a muffin or something. Besides the noise stresses her out slightly." Tobias says knowingly as he hands me Cloud and tucks my sweater around Mara so she is extra warm.

"Okay." I agree, hugging myself close to his side as he pulls my hip close to his.

"I love you Tris." Tobias says as we leave the training room.

"I love you too Tobias. Not to sound weird or anything but why the sudden declaration of love?"

"I just can't get over all the amazing things you've done. Not just with the kids but with me. You make me a better person."

"I never changed you, you just showed me that there was a soft side under all of that tough guy look." I say, prodding his bicep and giggling as he tickled my side, which he still holds closely.

~.~.~

We entered the loud cafeteria with smiles, Tobias unlatched his hand from my side and handed me Mara.

"I'll get us some food." He says in my ear, quickly kissing me just below my earlobe and walking away. I sooth Mara with my hand by running it over her hair and down her back before kissing her ear and whispering comforting words.

"Is she sleeping?" Marlene asks once I've reached the table and am about to sit down.

"Yeah she had a rough night and had to wake up early with her siblings." I say with a small smile. Marlene cocks her head slightly in an attempt to see Mara's face. I easily move her head for Marlene's view and she smiles.

"She's like an angel." Marlene mushes, Chris agrees with her immediately.

"How's the baby Mar?" I ask once I've settled Mara across the bench with her head on my lap.

"Good, Uri and I decided some names. For a girl it would be Samantha, Sam for short."

"And for a boy," Uriah starts proudly. "It will be Jackson."

"Those are great names." Tobias says before flicking Uriah behind the ear and taking a seat by Mara's feet. He lifts them and slid beside me so she is sprawled out over both our laps.

"Oh yeah, nice sarcasm Four." Zeke says with a laugh as he shoves another piece of chicken in his mouth.

"Seriously, I like them." Tobias says with raised hands. "Honest." He adds.

"Chris you were a Candor. Is he lying?" Uriah presses, Chris looks up from her lap where Thalia sits babbling about something and chewing indignantly at one of her little fists. Will shoos the hand from her small mouth and offers her another spoonful of mashed potatoes.

"I was Candor 18 years ago." Chris reminds Uriah. "I can hardly tell a lie from the truth anymore. Except when Tris does it, she sucks at keeping secrets." I stick my tongue out at her and she laughs. "Very mature." She tells me making me laugh.

"Where's Lynn?" Shauna asks suddenly, searching for her sister. "Hector!" Shauna calls when her brother crosses past our table. "Where's Lynn?" She asks him, he shrugs and shakes his hair slightly. It was wet with water.

"I don't know, the guys and I have been train jumping all morning. It's raining a lot out there." He says with a smirk and second shake of his drenched hair.

"Thanks for the whether forecast dim-wit. I'm trying to find our sister." Shauna says in an un-amused tone.

"She's probably with Ronnie." He offers. One of his friends quickly comes behind him and smacks his head. "Asshole!" Hector cries, running after the guy and waving at us from behind.

"Idiot." Shauna mumbles, still looking around.

"She's fine Shauna. Let her have a little freedom, she's 32 for crying out loud." Zeke says to her, running a comforting hand over her back and returning to his food.

"I'm not worried that she's hurt, I'm just wondering why she isn't in the cafeteria." Shauna retorts, looking once more for her sister and then returning to her tray.

"How's Phoenix after yesterday?" Will asks.

"I only talked to her this morning and that mainly consisted of screaming at one another and crying so I'll talk to her tonight. She seems fine though." I say, turning to see the table where my three children sit and eat.

"Isn't Mara going to eat?" Marlene switches conversations probably noticing my tense body from thinking about last night.

"We'll bring her back when she wakes up." Tobias tells her with a gentle hand moving up and down Mara's leg. She whimpers in her sleep giving us the realization that a nightmare was starting up.

"Let me take care of it." Tobias says, taking Mara under the arms and stepping out of the bench. He walks out of the cafeteria allowing the door to swing closed behind him.

"It's that bad?" Uriah says in astonishment.

"She's been through a lot." I say tightly, now prodding my chicken with my fork instead of eating it.

"So whether it be a night's sleep or a nap she'll have a nightmare?" Uriah asks, I can only nod and place my fork down quietly.

"Tris you need to eat." Chris stresses as she eyes my still full plate.

"Chris you do not have to mother me!" I snap angrily, she widens her eyes and hands Thalia to Will. "Walk with me." She says, taking my shoulders and leading me from the cafeteria.

"I'm sorry I got mad. I'm worried that's all." I say to her once we stand in the hallway.

"Worried about what?" She asks me.

"That Mara will be in so much pain for the rest of her life. I don't want her to blame herself or worry about what happened before."

"Then don't let her, you're her mom now. Show her that there is always more than one chance and that you should take those chances whenever you can." Chris says, attempting to catch my wandering eyes.

"I don't know how I will be able to though. I feel like it's okay for her to shut down because her pain is so pronounced." I say as tears flood my eyes.

"There is always hope. You have to hope that she understands how pain works." Chris complies.

"Fear doesn't shut you down, it wakes you up." I say, quoting Tobias as he analyzes my reaction to my fears.

"Four said that, didn't he?" Chris asks with a smirk.

"He could see it in me." I tell her wistfully.

"He has good judgment. And I'm sure Mara will grow to take in fear that way. She can be another adrenaline junkie that we all call your children." Chris laughs, I do as well because it's true that my kids run soulfully on the adrenaline given to them in a certain moment.

"Thanks Chris." I say, wrapping her in a hug and hearing her say "No problem."

"Now lets get you back. You need to eat." Chris urges, pressing me back into the cafeteria and back to my tray of food. I dutifully eat what was on it and run my hand through Mara's braid as she sleeps on my lap once again.

~.~.~

"Phoenix can we talk?" I ask as I poke my head through the small opening of the door. She nods and sits up in her bed. The ice pack resting on her shoulder shifted with her but she let it fall since it's been on for longer than 30 minutes.

"If it's about last night I'd rather not go into explicit details as to what Drew said to me." She warns me, I nod knowingly.

"That's fine." I agree to her terms, sitting by her feet and running a hand over her foot carefully. "Phoenix how do you expect your dad and I to trust you after last night?" I ask her, she shrugs.

"I told you, you could go out but you abused that privilege. Not to mention you almost got hurt because of it." I say gently but with authority. Phoenix gives quaint not and begins to speak.

"I screwed up, and I ended up getting you hurt in the process. I don't expect you and dad to willingly allowed me to go out at night but I also don't need you guys fighting my battles for me. I was perfectly fine and if Drew or whatever his name was tried to touch me again I know what to do." She says.

"You're my daughter. I'm not going to stand by and watch someone destroy you and downgrade you. I had every right to hurt Drew even if it meant him hurting me." I tell her.

"Okay."

"From now on you aren't allowed to go to the pit at night without an adult that you know. I'm not saying they have to stay beside you the whole time, I'm just saying that they have to watch out for what you do. And you have a curfew. 10pm every night I expect you back in the apartment. Do you understand?" I ask, rising from the bed and looking down to her sad eyes.

"Yes mom." She replies willingly, down casting her view to her lap and not saying another word.

"Good. Now go to sleep." I say, plucking the ice pack from the bed and leaning forward to kiss her head. She still doesn't look at me, she only lies down and turns over to face the wall.

I shut the door and head for the boys room. Ezra was busy scribbling numbers and words into his notebook, a confused glare being given to the text book that read 'Math 6' on the top right hand corner of every other page.

"Do you think it's time to wrap it up over here?" I ask him, wrapping my arms around his tense shoulders and kissing his brown hair that is cut like Tobias'.

"No." He says tightly, writing another number and then wrenching his arm away to reach for his eraser. I release his shoulders in shock and watch as he rubs the eraser aggressively over the page. He slams the white stub back down and reaches for his pencil, running a strong hand through his hair as he looks to the book in anger. I hear a sniffle and know the immediate frustration overcoming him.

"Ezra," I say turning his swivel chair at a 90 degree angle. I crouch in front of him and look at his wet eyes. The tears have yet to fall.

"I can't do it." He admits, gesturing to the notebook and turning the pencil in his fingers. I thought he might break it from the way his knuckles turn white due to the grip he held.

"That's okay. Math isn't always easy. Have you-" He immediately cuts me off.

"Not just math!" He says in angst. "I can't do any of my classes right! I can't do any of it. Look at this." He says, turning in the chair and reaching for his bag. He drew many different papers, all of which had red numbers on the corners and comments under them. "I'm so stupid!" He cries to me, the tears streaking down his face as he angrily sorts through the papers. I take them from him and read each mark. All had a percentage, non made it over 60%. He continues to cry heavily as I begin to eye the comments.

I read in my head: "Needs improvement." "Read over material before testing." "See me after class." "You must review!" "It was all wrong! What's the matter with you?" I stop reading once I read that comment.

"Ezra," I say again because my words seem to disappear as soon as they reach my tongue. He cries harder making me cringe.

"I'm home." Tobias calls from the entrance of the apartment. I look at Ezra and he covers his eyes in disappointment. "Tris?" He calls.

"In here." I say back, he pokes his head into the room and immediately drops his smile at the sight of our son crying. "Hey buddy, what's up?" Tobias asks worriedly, crouching next to me and holding Ezra's shaking shoulder.

"Look at these." I whisper, tapping his forearm with the papers and offering them to him. He takes the crinkling papers and sorts through them like I did. "Ez what's this about?" Tobias asks skeptically, a face of both remorse and anger mixing in his features.

"I don't understand it. Everything makes no sense." He tells Tobias as his murky green eyes watch our expressions.

"Why doesn't it make sense?" I ask him softly, taking him by the shoulders and leading him to his bed.

"I don't know. I can't read some of the words and I get scared when we have tests." He says sadly.

"How long has this been going on for?" I ask him next.

He shrugs and wipes his eyes with the bottom of his short-sleeve. "A while."

"And have you asked for help at school?" Tobias presses, holding the papers up to indicate that no help was given with marks like those.

"I tried but it doesn't help. Even Izabel tried to help me but it was impossible."

"Why didn't you tell your mom or I?" Tobias asks.

"I don't want you guys to think I'm stupid."

"Hey," I say, taking his face in my hands and looking at him sternly. "You will never be stupid in our eyes." I tell him, wiping the tears that collected by my thumbs and pulling him into an embrace.

"And Ezra you are the best story teller we know. You have the biggest imagination I've ever seen." Tobias assures him, rubbing the muscular back of our boy.

"I can tell you a story but I can't read." Ezra says angrily, I hold him tighter.

"We'll figure it out. You don't have to stress yourself this much Ez, it isn't healthy." I warn him, kissing his hair and releasing him from my hug.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Tobias tells him, Ezra turns to watch his dad speak. "Never be sorry for something that is out of your control. You need a little help that's all."

"Okay." Ezra nods, eyeing the tests Tobias still held onto.

"Now sleep. You've done enough homework for one night." I tell him, standing up and pulling back the covers. Ezra slips off the black v-neck he wore to reveal his well built body, Damien was a scrawny boy at 11 but Ezra loves to workout, especially with Tobias. He climbed into bed and I pulled the blankets over him.

"Goodnight." I kiss his temple and walk to the door, my hand gently holding Tobias' wrist as he follows.

"What was that about?" Damien asks from where he laid sprawled on the couch with an ice pack placed on his bruised chin and Mara sitting in front of his stomach. The two were watching TV just a few minutes ago, Damien obviously found greater interest in the crying.

"Ezra is frustrated with his school work." I explain simply, taking the tests from Tobias and dropping them in the trash. No use in keeping them to taunt poor Ezra.

"Do you think it's dyslexia?" Damien asks, Tobias shoots him a glare.

"Damien don't joke. Ezra is in there already feeling pretty bad about himself." Tobias says, taking my side and pointing to the shut door.

"I'm not kidding this time." Damien says seriously, his eyes tell me that this is his honest, wise self. "People in my class in like grade 1 were tested for it, they seemed smart, they just couldn't test properly." He explains. "And last year we learned about disabilities, dyslexia being one of them. He has a hard time concentrating, reading, writing but his IQ was one of the highest in his class. Remember?" Damien reminds us. I nod instantly remembering the IQ score of 130. But those were all mind games, he didn't have to study or stress about that test.

"What do we do to help?" Tobias asks, it's my turn to look at him in astonishment. Tobias rarely asks for real advice from Damien because our son is always snarky but in a funny way.

"Exempt him from testing. Or ask for oral testing apposed to written. It will make things easier for him. And Izabel already helps him with his English homework by writing what he thinks and says so you know that's a load off the poor kid. He'll adjust, give it time." Damien rises from the couch, Mara follows him as he heads to the fridge and disposes of the ice pack into the freezer drawer.

"Where are you going to sleep tonight Ari?" Damien asks, scooping Mara into his large arms and tucking her braid behind her. She shrugs and pulls her hand from her large pajama shirt sleeve to touch his bruised jaw tentatively.

"Does it still hurt Dami?" She asks he laughs.

"No, not anymore. Now seriously where should you sleep?" He asks her, once again she shrugs.

"With Phoe." She decides, he nods and walks to us. "Say goodnight to mom and dad." Damien instructs, Mara wraps both of us in a hug and asks for me to come after Damien. I nod and release her to go to the room. Damien walks away and soon returns to say goodnight to us.

"Ari?" Tobias asks with a coy smile.

"She liked it." Damien shrugs.

"You are such a good brother." I wrap my arms around him and kiss his cheek. He laughs and says goodnight before leaving to his room. Tobias and I walk to the girls' room. I head over to Mara and whisper loving words of comfort to scare off the nightmares before kissing her forehead and tucking Cloud under the blankets with her.

"Sleep well little raven." I say, watching as Tobias pecks Phoenix's forehead and comes to do the same to Mara. Together we leave the room and head to our own.

~.~.~

"Our lives are hectic." Tobias whispers, as we lay in bed together. His hands hold me close to him as we spoon and he kisses the back of my neck over and over.

"Mara comes into the family, Phoenix gets harassed, Ezra has dyslexia. How much crazier can it get?" I exasperate, flipping over and running my thumb over his chin, pulling his lip down momentarily.

"I'm sure we'll get through all of it." He says, running a careful hand over my bruised jaw from earlier today.

"Our only job is to come out alive." I say with smirk.

"Together we will get through anything." He promises.

"As long as it's your arms I get to be in each night then I'm sure that we will be fine." I press my lips to his and he moves his hand to the back of my head. I press closer to him, running my hands through his hair and taking in all my surroundings. It's been a long time since I've actually taken time to smell Tobias. His scent calms my heart and encourages me to stay like this all night.

* * *

**Follow, Like, Comment :)**

**-Valentina **


	48. Chapter 48- Take the Bad Dreams Away

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 48  
Take The Bad Dreams Away

|1 week later|

Another nightmare occurred just like every night, only this time Mara was the one standing by my side of the bed instead of Phoenix, her cheeks wet with tears as she sobbed heavily.

"Mara sweetie." Tobias says in astonishment of her state, flipping on the dim lamp and coming to where Mara stood. I sit up and allow Mara to be laid in the middle of the bed. I don't bother questioning the nightmare, no use in bringing back something to scare her even more.

We allow her to cry it out, holding her in our arms and kissing her warm forehead. I'd had hoped the sobbing would have subsided but they stayed heavy, so heavy that Mara began to turn green.

"Bucket." She chocked out through her impeded speech. Tobias shoots up in bed and runs into the bathroom, he came out with the empty tin trashcan, which Mara instantly hurled into. She continued to cry and vomit, squeezing my hand in pain.

"Make it stop!" She pleaded Tobias and I, vomiting another load and soon dry heaving because no food was left in her system.

"What do you want us to stop?" Tobias asks as he wipes a cold towel over her face and places the smelly bucket on the floor.

"The nightmares. Please take them away." She begged, her eyes catching mine and releasing more tears.

"I would if I could baby but that's out of my control." I explain cautiously.

"But you said it was a mommy's job to take away the pain." She reminds me sadly, my stomach clenches at her words.

"What's in your nightmares that's so bad?" I ask, attempting to show the benefits of opening up.

"Fire, and screams. Lots of screams… some of them I don't know who they belong to." She explains tightly, eyeing the covers of the bed.

"How can we make them go away?" Tobias asks, noticing my tongue-tied situation. Mara shrugs and sniffles her tears back.

"Do you want me to sing?" I ask, her eyes lock with mine at the thought. She nods and crawls onto my lap, nuzzling into my chest and waiting for the tune of any song.

I being Outlaws because it worked last time, Tobias quickly leaves to the bathroom to get rid of the dirty trash.

"I think we might be outlaws." Mara joins in lightly, her small voice sounding angelic with the song.

"I think I might be in love.

'Cause I'm all out of reasons,

like seasons,

Winter, summer, fall

they're all washed up.

If you're still way over there,

maybe slide on in by my side,

'Cause I'm just an outlaw,

wanted if you want me.

I love you everyday and every night." She stops singing there and allows me to continue alone, humming along to her favorite parts and becoming quiet when sleep began to swallow her.

The ending line came with gentle words, I heard Mara sing/mumble it with me:

"I'm just an outlaw,

wanted if you want me.

I love you everyday and every night."

I kiss her forehead and continue to hum a beat despite the song having ended.

~.~.~

The next morning begins with ease. It's a Saturday leaving Ezra free from school. We've entered stage two of initiation therefore we don't have to call everyone up until at least 9. The first thing my eyes open to see is the gentle features of Mara. Her perfect nose and long dark eyelashes, she looks like Tobias in a small way only more graceful. I sit up and notice Tobias sleeping with his arm around our daughter and his perfect lips parted slightly. I get up and walk to his side, quickly glancing at the clock to read 5:24am. I slide in next to him and nuzzle my face into his neck, he stirs at the feeling of my lips pecking his warm neck. I feel his arm shift around my waist and draw me closer to him.

"Did you have another nightmare?" He asks with his mouth close to my forehead. I mumble a yes and breathe in his scent.

"After Mara told me about the fire and screams I dreamt what she dreamt, only I saw their faces." I say tightly, tears brimming my eyes but he can't see them.

"I'm here now, I won't let the bad dreams get you." Tobias promised, I sniffled and gripped his shirt. "I will always be here Tris." He promised, sliding his arm away from Mara and tucking me tighter into him. I cry quietly into his shirt, soaking the black fabric with my tears. "How do you do it?" Tobias asks me, I look to him with red eyes.

"Do what?" I ask.

"Put up this illusion that everything is okay when you're with the kids or in front of our friends but deep down you are being tarred apart."

"I guess I'm not allowed to be sad, that I need to show I'm brave." I say cautiously.

"You're already brave enough. I don't like looking into your eyes and seeing the sadness, it makes me want to cry sometimes." He admits.

"I feel broken and I don't know how to feel good again." I finally tell him after he stares at me intently for a minute.

"How can I fix you then because the love of my life is currently hurting in ways I will never know."

"Just hold me, it takes away the pain for a little while." I say, drawing my eyes down to his chest.

"I'm going to call Zeke, maybe he can take care of our initiates as well. Mar and Uri are already going to watch Ezra and Mara so I'm going to stay with you. I'm going to stay with you and hold you until all the pain is gone." Tobias promises, kissing me passionately before running a hand over my head.

"Sleep now, I'll fight off the bad dreams." He commands.

"With what?" I ask.

"My bare hands of course." He says bringing a small smile to our lips before I tuck my face into his chest and sleep with his strong arms holding me.

~.~.~

The next time I awaken Mara isn't in the bed, and Tobias is on my opposite side, his face nuzzled into the back of my hair. I glance at the clock and notice it's already 10am. Careful not to awaken Tobias, I turn over and curl up in his chest.

"How do you feel?" Tobias asks me though his eyes stay shut.

"Alright." I lie to him.

"Tris," Tobias says unconvinced, un-tucking me from my chest and turning my chin up to meet his eyes. "Please don't hide from me, I will always be here to listen to you." He reminds me, I can only nod and allow the tears to prevail.

"I just can't get over how I will never be able to hug them or show any form of physical touch ever again. You can tell me that they will be there in my heart but I can never see my parents again. They're gone, and I hurt them."

"How did you hurt them, Tris?" Tobias asks me, running his fingers over my cheekbone.

"By leaving Abnegation, especially after Caleb chose to leave I broke their hearts even more. When we visited them I could see the pain in their eyes, they said they forgave me for leaving but I could truly see the anger and pain that lingered in their eyes. And now they're dead. They're dead and while they died I'm sure they never resented Caleb or I more than ever in that moment."

"How can you think that way?" Tobias asks in whisper.

"Because if I stayed then maybe they wouldn't be burnt to ash at the moment." I say in anger, a single tear roll downs my cheek at that moment.

"Tris, even if you stayed it doesn't mean they wouldn't have taken Mara in and pay the price for breaking faction rules." He states.

"I don't want this to sound like I resent Mara in any way. She is an amazing little girl who I love dearly." I reply quickly, never would I ever say what happened was Mara's fault.

"I do too. She is our new future." Tobias reminds me, I nod into his neck. "Is there anything we can do today to take your mind off of everything?"

"I have one idea." I instantly press my lips to his and begin to move slightly. He grabs my waist and pulls me so I'm lying on top of him. Without breaking out kiss he sits up against the headboard and has me straddle him while my fingers run over his neck and hair. His hands began pushing my shirt up and gripping my hips as our kisses heated.

I faltered with my kisses as soon as Tobias moved his lips over my jaw and down my neck. He kissed the hollow beneath my neck and trailed the butterfly kisses up the other side. He sucked at my earlobe making me laugh and tug at his hair in delight.

"You're beautiful." He whispers once my giggles subside and his mouth is breathing air into my ear.

"I love you." I say wistfully, turning my head and kissing hiss neck.

"I love you too." He says, connecting our lips once again.

* * *

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**-Valentina **


	49. Chapter 49- A Child is Good When Loved

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 49  
A Child Is Good When Loved

I caressed Tobias' cheek with my hand, my fingers skimming the freshly shaven skin.

"I need to get my tattoo still." I say recognizing the missing raven representing Mara.

"Well get up eventually, lunch is in an hour or so anyways." Tobias says, I notice the shine in his eyes.

"I miss looking at you." I whisper in awe.

"What do you mean by that? You see me everyday." He reminds me, running a hand up and down my bare leg.

"I mean taking time to actually look at you, to see all of your perfect features and chiseled lines. I keep forgetting how much you look like a God." I say thoughtfully, running a finger over the slight lines working into his skin near his mouth. The lines that indicate his immense amount of smiling. Other than that his skin has stayed smooth and youthful.

"You never look different to me. In fact you keep getting incredibly more beautiful with each day." He says causing me to blush a deep shade of red. "I still make you blush." He laughs at this recognition.

"You'll never be able to stop." I remind him, kissing the hollow beneath his neck and breathing in and out in satisfaction.

Suddenly the phone on the nightstand buzzed, I feel Tobias' hand slide from my leg and reach for the phone.

"Hello?" He asked into the speaker, I looked up to him expectantly.

"Four help!" Uriah said loudly into the phone, I could hear the worry in his voice.

"What's wrong Uriah! Is it the kids?" Tobias sits up in fear, I follow him and watch with worry.

"No Mara and Ezra are fine, Will's coming to get them. Marlene's going into labor! HOLY SHIT FOUR WHAT DO I DO?!" Uriah cried out. I couldn't help but snicker, Tobias did the same.

"Calm down dude. Tris will be over there to help Mar, I'm going with Will to be with the kids." Tobias says with ease, cringing when a cry from Uriah echoed loudly.

"SHE'S TRYING TO MOVE!" Uriah freaks, I take the phone.

"Uriah, let her do whatever she needs. Calm down and stop scaring the living hell out of the kids that are in the room. Put Mar on." I request, Tobias wraps an arm around me and tucks my hair behind my ear.

"Hey Tris." Marlene says with a small giggle.

"How do you feel Mar?" I ask.

"Fine, Uriah is freaking out because my water broke." She replies.

"Just relax, I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"Thanks Tris. See you." She hangs up so I hand Tobias' phone back to him.

"Sorry your stress free day is cut short." Tobias says sheepishly, removing the covers and heading to the bathroom. I follow and jump into the shower, he joins me and grabs the soap.

"You made my morning better." I say, allowing him to run the soap over my back and kiss my neck softly.

"I'm glad." He hands me the soap, turning so I can wash his back. Once we are washed I grab the shampoo and begin to lather my hair, he does his own and we both take turns rinsing it out.

Tobias is out first leaving me to condition my hair. By the time I'm out of the washroom Tobias is dressed in jeans and a tight black shirt that shows all his muscles. I dress in skinny jeans a black tank top, grabbing my phone and pulling my hair up into a short ponytail.

"See you soon." Tobias presses his lips to mine and then walks down the opposite hallways, glancing back once more and winking. I blush instantly.

"Love you!" I call.

"Love you more." Tobias calls back before disappearing around the corner.

~.~.~

"Tris, thank god." Uriah grabs my upper arm and drags me into the room I suspect Marlene is in. Both my kids are gone so Will probably got here while I was getting ready.

"Hey Tris." Marlene smiled weakly, offering a sweet wave.

"Hey Mar, how're you feeling?" I ask, crawling onto the bed next to her and sitting cross-legged.

"Not too bad. The pain is starting to get a little stronger though." She admits, I nod sympathetically and offer my hand as a contraction starts.

"Come on Uriah, we need to take her to the infirmary." I state after Mar's contraction passes. He easily scoops up Mar and walks to the door.

"Calm down Uri, I'm fine." Marlene whispers, kissing Uriah's cheek and wrapping her arms around his neck. I follow behind, taking Mar's bag and shutting the door to the apartment.

We arrive at the infirmary, Marlene gripping Uriah's neck in pain and muffling her whimpers into his shoulder.

"Chris it's happening." I call happily, Chris emerged from behind the reception desk with a smile.

"Finally, never thought you'd actually have the baby there Mar." Chris laughs. She leads Uriah to a room where he places Mar down and tucks the thin blanket over her.

"Thanks Uri." She says sheepishly, he kisses her forehead.

"Alright Mar lets get you changed and hooked up to an IV and heart monitor." Chris says, shutting the door and pulling a light blue gown from a drawer. "Uriah can you help Marlene change. Tris come and get the monitors with me." Chris walks with me out of the room.

"Uriah was losing his mind when he called." I tell Chris once we shut the door, she laughs at the thought.

"He's sweet with her." Chris address, pulling up some cable and handing them back to me.

"Is everything okay Chris?" I ask, realizing the sudden heaviness in Chris' usually happy voice.

"Yeah, it's fine." She says, shaking her head as she rummages through the second drawer.

"Chris." I warn her, she looks behind herself and smiles lightly.

"Tris, it's fine." She demands, standing up straight and pushing the drawer close with her foot. I eye her with uncertainty; she finally looks down in defeat. "Piper was crying last night." She sighs.

"Why?" I ask worriedly, stepping forward.

Chris smiles slightly and then says, "She saw Damien with this other girl, she claimed that this girl was prettier and funnier and kept flirting with him." I can't help the smile that grows on my lips.

"If only she knew." I laugh, shaking my head.

"Knew what?" Chris asks, placing many vials and syringes on a metal table.

"How much Damien liked her. Every time someone even mentions her name around him he blushes. He even told me that he's going to wait until Piper goes through initiation to ask her out on an official date."

"What a sweetie." Chris laughs.

"Tell Pipes not to worry, Damien has only one girl he likes." I offer a wink and pull the IV stand and heart monitor with me. Chris follows with the medication and baby supplies.

~.~,~

Marlene was situated and connected, sleeping soundly in Uriah's arms while Chris and I sat on Will and Tobias' laps, eating our lunches that they brought over.

"Thanks for bringing us the food." I say, eating a fry and looking to Uriah as he did the same while watching Marlene.

"No problem." Tobias whispers, pressing his lips to my temple and stealing a fry.

"Was Mara willing to eat?" I ask.

"She had a few fries but other than that seemed uninterested. Damien managed to encourage her to watch Zeke and Shauna train them while she sat with Ezra and Izabel but I think she wants you."

"I miss her but I shouldn't leave Mar. She was there for me while I had Ezra." I remind him, he nods and takes another fry.

~.~.~

"Push Mar." I encourage, she squeezes my hand and clenches Uriah's even harder, her face scrunched with frustration as she bared down.

"Good, the head is out." Chris cheers, the nurse standing behind her with an ever-growing smile nods excitedly.

"Uri I'm sorry for hurting you." Marlene panics, looking at the bruised knuckles.

"It's only a few broken fingers sweetie, I'm fine." Uriah convinces her, offering his other hand and kissing her forehead.

"Come on Mar, two more." Chris says, Marlene pushes, and then goes again. We hear the cry of a baby.

Marlene shakes with sobs as Chris places the dirty baby on top of her chest.

"Oh my god Mar, it's a girl." Uriah says proudly, his own tears falling as he runs a hand over the baby's sticky hair.

"Hi Samantha." Marlene coos, Sam continues screeching.

"Mind if I steal her for a quick clean up?" The nurse asks. Marlene releases the baby, with hesitation but is soon whispering excitedly to Uriah. He runs his fingers through her sweaty hair and is kissing her face profusely.

A few minutes later Chris and Uriah help Mar to a wheelchair and she is handed Sam before Uriah pushes her to the waiting room where our friends all await to see their little girl.

"What is it?" Piper and Phoenix look excited at the baby wrapped in white.

"It's a girl. Her name is Samantha Veronique Pedrad." Uriah says, stroking the light brown hair the lightly covers her head.

"Aww!" Both Phoenix and Piper squeal. Sam opens her eyes and I see the glisten of bright hazel, almost yellow eyes. Her hair and eyes match the gentle browned tone of her skin that comes from Uriah but is lightened by Marlene's fair skin.

"She's pretty." Mara whispers to me as I cradle my little girl in my arms.

"Just like you beautiful. Tomorrow do you want to go with me somewhere?" I ask.

"Where do you want to go?" Mara asks me.

"Mommy needs to get another raven, the one that represents you. I want you to be there with me." I say, she smiles excitedly.

"Okay." She nods, then furrowing her eyebrows slightly. "Mommy?" She asks me.

"Yes beautiful?"

"Can I get a raven?" She asks skeptically.

"Umm we need to talk to daddy about that." I say.

"Okay. I like Dami's tattoo, it's really cool." She says decidedly.

"The one below his neck?" I ask, looking quickly to see the beginning of the tattoo peaking from the top of his shirt.

"Yeah." She nods. Damien and Phoenix both got their first tattoo on their 16th birthday; Phoenix got two black and white rose tattoos that had extending vines to connect them. Damien got a simple cross that went about 8 inches down the top of his back.

"Why do you want a tattoo sweetie?" I ask.

"Because maybe if I have something to represent you then you can never leave me." I instantly see the plead in her eyes.

"You'll never lose me." I promise, she still seems unconvinced.

* * *

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**-Valentina **


	50. Chapter 50- More Than Words Can Describe

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 50  
More Than Words Can Describe

I sit in the tattoo parlour, Mara was sitting in a chair next to me while watching Tori set up the pad with a single bird ready to be imprinted on my collarbone.

"You're very pretty." Tori smiles to Mara, placing the pad down by my trail of birds.

"Thank you." Mara says sheepishly, swinging her legs in slight delight by the compliment. Tori starts up the machine and I feel the slight burn of the tattoo being worked into my skin.

"Mara wants a tattoo." I say to Tori.

"Is Four okay with this?" She asks, Mara nods for me.

"He's okay with the reason she wants it, his only rule is that it's small and the only one that she has until she is sixteen." I say.

"Alright well what will you be getting ?" Tori asks, she loves Mara's middle name and thinks it makes any situation sound formal.

"One of mommy's ravens." She says with delight, pointing to her left collar-bone, in the same place my largest raven is situated.

"Okay well your mommy is almost done here so I'm going to set up a new pad for you. How big Tris?" Tori turns to me and I show her two centimeters with my index finger and thumb.

"Alright." Tori laughs, beginning the set-up while Mara takes my hand and smiles.

"I'm going to have part of you with me forever now." Mara says with pride, I release her hand and stroke her hair in my most motherly way.

"Yes baby girl. Forever." I promise her, taking her hand once again and allowing Tori to remove my pad and have me sit up.

"All done. Mara why don't you switch seats with your mom?" Tori suggests, I rise and help seat Mara on my chair, taking her opposite hand in mine.

Tori works quickly, getting the tattoo ready and explaining to Mara the slight burn. Mara nods and waits for the machine to rev to life.

"Does it hurt?" I ask once the silence of the room is occupied by the hum of the tattoo inker.

"No." Mara says looking to the pad the glows with a black light that indicates the black colour she chose.

"That's my brave girl." I reward her, looking to the small timer that says only one minute remains.

We wait in silence until Tori is carefully removing the pad to reveal my daughter's first tattoo. Her eyes light up with tears as she looks from her tattoo to me.

"I'm now a little raven mommy." Mara says with joy overcoming her tears.

"Yes you are little raven." I say, pulling her into my arms and kissing the sweet smelling hair that cascades down her back, stopping just after her shoulders.

~.~.~

_**Damien's POV**_

My fears were being teared from the darkest places in my mind. So far I've been through only two of my fears, the others will be revealed during the final stage, in front of Jeanine Matthews and most of the Dauntless/Erudite Factions.

"Damien do you need me to call you dad?" Zeke asks, leaning against the image transmition that shows a blank screen since I literally ripped the cables from my head after awakening.

"No." I say tightly, shakily rising and wiping my palms over my shirt, a habit I've been told my mom does.

"Alright, take it easy okay?" Zeke eyes me skeptically but opens the door releasing me to the room where my fellow initiates sit and await their torcher. Phoenix isn't here, but the other rooms two rooms are closed off from us indicating a fear in process.

"You good man?" Alex stops me, taking my wrist and causing me to look at his shaken demeanor as he stays slumped on his seat.

"Fine, make sure Phoenix is alright for me?" I ask him. He nods and lets me go, I continue out of the room and down a few hallways. Once out of human contact I slump against a wall and cover my face with my knees.

"Dammit." I whisper in defeat, allowing a single tear to slip before I wipe it away.

"I thought I'd find you here." The soft voice of Piper rings through my ears. I look up and desperately attempt to wipe my eyes clean of the sadness. She sits next to me and stares at the wall ahead.

"What was it about today?" She asks me, the last time I sat here and told her about the fear I went through my first time.

"My death." I whisper, she looks to me with a raised eyebrow.

"Damien that's normal. How on earth do you think you'll die?" Piper asks with astonishment because I was crying before.

"I don't think I know I'm going to die this way." I say to her.

"That way being?" She pressed.

"My lung will fail, I'll have nothing to keep me alive." I tell her sadly.

"Damien you know you'll get a transplant one day and until then you heard my mom she said-"

"Your mom lied!" I say angrily, Piper stops looking at me immediately. "She said 80% chance my lung will work perfectly fine on it's own to you guys! She told my parents and I that it's dropping every minute of every day!" I say angrily. "Dammit Piper I only have 60% chance that this lung gets me past my 20th birthday."

"And you'll be apart of that 60% chance." She says with encouragement, I give a very mean laugh.

"Don't be stupid Piper, I won't be around unless someone gives me a good lung. Someone that matches my body perfectly because apparently no one in my family can provide one."

"Don't say that." Piper says in a whisper, crossing her arms and looking away.

"Don't be naive." I reason with her, she shoots me a glare.

"I'm not being naïve! I'm trying to look at the brightside because I'm not willing to sit here and watch my best friend admit to his death!" She screams loudly, standing up and pointing an accusing finger at me. "You said that despite the missing lung you are going to push all that aside and live your life! You were going to stick around and live all of the adventures we planned together."

"I'm not going to do any of those things." I say angrily, remembering my fear.

"What about staying with me?" She asks tightly, my heart clenches at her light voice.

"I don't want you to get hurt." I tell her softly.

"And I don't want to see other girls flirt with you." She fires back, I can't help the wistful snicker that leaves my mouth.

"Are you jealous Piper Blagrove?" I ask with a cock of my eyebrow.

"Don't turn this on me Damien." She warns.

"I can't believe it." I mumble to myself, she shakes her head. "Piper we grew up together, I held you only hours after you were born. How on earth do you believe that I would be interested in another girl? I'm surprised that you of all people who notice everything can't notice the way I ignored those girls and look at you differently from everyone else." To this she blushes, I stand and tower over her short stature. "You make me want to live, push to be in that 60% rather than that 40."

"I need you Damien, you go through life everyday forgetting about your lung. I know it's a fear but push it away. Beat that fear down and remember us. Remember all of those adventures we want to have together." I can't fight the urge anymore I take her face in my hands and kiss her soft pink lips. Her perfect lips that fit with mine and make my heart skip a beat.

"Here's to starting those adventures." I say with my head resting on her forehead and lips only inches from hers. She tiptoes this time so our lips connect, her hands gripping the sides of my shirt and she and I stand in the empty hallway, not a person in sight to break us from our small adventure.

_**Phoenix's POV**_

There was a man. He stood at the corner of the abandoned room, a hand hanging at his side while the other stayed hooked to his hip. He griped a metallic object that ended with a spike. He griped a knife.

"You've come for more?" His voice rings, it matches the ones that haunted my childhood and destroyed my mind. I choke back a response and watch as he turns to eye me. "I told your mother I'd get what I want, even if it meant waiting 18 years to do so." I desperately look around the room trying to find something to defend myself, anything! I also try to avoid his blank face, nothing but black covers it's scary human shape.

"What are you?" I ask in despair, finally allowing my hoarse voice speak. It sounds like I've been screaming for hours.

"Your worst nightmare." The man seethes; I can almost feel the grin evil grin appear on his non-existent face. I swallow the lump in my throat and try speaking again.

"My nightmares shall die." I return darkly, lunging at the man and somehow grasping the knife. I hurdle to the corner, suffocation gets the better of me as I watch him approach.

"You will pay for what you've done." He declares angrily.

"I will never do as you say!" I spit, rising on my shaky legs and running straight at the figure, my hand holding the knife extended towards him. I bury it deep in his chest and awaken with a jump.

~.~.~

"It's over Phoenix. You're fine." Shauna fusses, soothingly running a hand over my hair and trying to stop my thrashing. I compile and lay still, allowing my tears to continue. "Good girl." Shauna unclips the wires from my head and returns to my side. "Are you okay?" She asks.

"Not really." I admit shakily, refusing to sit up. Shauna lifts the seat slightly so I'm able to face her.

"Can I help you home or do you need anything?" She asks, I nod immediately.

"Please get my dad," I sob. "Please." I beg, Shauna leaves the room quickly making sure to shut the door behind her. Soon it opens to reveal my dad, he looks concerned and consumed by sadness.

"Daddy." I whimper, extending my arms out. He scoops me up and sits on the chair, rocking me as I sob. "It came back, the man. He wanted to hurt me like Drew did." I admit through tears.

"It's not real. You're safe now." Dad promises me, kissing my forehead and continuing to cradle me.

I don't speak any longer because fear got the better of me so instead I focus on calming down and drying my tears.

"All better?" Dad asks me once I've calmed down immensely.

"Yeah. Can I go home?" I ask tightly.

"Sure. Try to sleep, maybe it will help." Dad suggests, placing my feet on the ground and rising from the seat. "I love you." He kisses my forehead and heads to the door.

"I love you too." I smile weakly, walking out the opened door and watching as my dad welcomes in a new initiate. He and Shauna probably traded rooms.

"Phoenix." Alex's hand grabs mine and I jump. "Sorry." He says sadly, releasing my hand and stepping back.

"That's alright. I'm a little shaken up, that's all." I say.

"Are you okay?" He asks, I shake my head 'no' and allow his arms to wrap around me. He's warm and smells like laundry detergent.

"Have you gone in yet?" I ask him as I press my nose into his strong chest.

"Yeah. Not my favorite moment ever. Was yours bad?" He asks me.

"I saw those stupid men and heard those stupid voices that are brought on by my stupid schizophrenia." I say angrily.

"They're not real. You're safe with me." He promises. "Do you want me to walk you back home to rest?" He asks.

"Can I go to the dorms with you?" I ask him skeptically.

"Sure." He smiles down at me, releasing the hug and taking my small hand in his large one.

We walk down a flight of stairs to the D floor apartment, then down to the C. We pass B and A quickly until we are on the main level, the pit and cafeteria being offered down different halls while the dorms were offered else-where. We walk a while longer until entering the nearly empty room occupied by 30+ beds. Few people dressed in black and fear drawn on their expressions sit at their beds with their legs tucked up to there chins and mouths whispering words of self-comfort.

"This is my bed." Alex announces to me, showing me the corner bed that was situated nicely against the wall.

"Do you mind?" I ask him, gesturing for me to take a seat.

"Go ahead." He says with a small smile, sitting next to me and shuffling back against the wall.

"What do you miss most about Candor?" I ask, leaning into his shoulder slightly as his arm wrapped around my shoulder.

"I miss the idea of having a home. I mean trust me I love sleeping with all these people." He says sarcastically, motioning to the other beds. "I think it will feel permanent the moment we are given apartments of our own."

"Yeah. Do you miss your family?" I ask him.

"Sure I do, but I think it's a good thing I left. I was thinking about me when I slit my hand not the mother and sister I had sitting in the crowd. I was being rather selfish."

"My mom and dad were transfers. My mom keeps saying how she believes her parents resented her, she never looked at them the same way after switching apparently." I say quietly.

"My mom encouraged me to switch. She said how Candor is only for those devoted to honesty and that I was lying to myself by saying I was happy where I was. I was truly miserable. It felt boring so to speak, waking up every morning and watching another debate between one honest man and one dishonest one, the verdict was yet to be decided. I feel alive here, there is so much energy that radiates from the people that it gives life a whole new meaning." He says happily, I smile at his happiness.

"You're amazing Alex, you make everything so perfect." I say sleepily.

"How so?" Alex asks, noticing my drowsiness.

"The way you speak, the way you smile, the way your eyes light up with the happiness you feel. It feels good when I'm around you." I admit.

"It feels amazing being around you Phoenix. You're the largest amount of radiating energy, no wonder I was drawn to you." He snickers, stroking my hair back and lightly kissing the beginning of my hair. "Sleep now, I'll awaken you for lunch." He promises me, moving us so we lay against the headboard with my head on his chest and body curled by his side. He protects me, that's all I need to know that I love him more than words can describe.

* * *

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**-Valentina**


	51. Chapter 51- We Are So Proud

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 51  
We Are So Proud

_**Tris' POV**_

I've become accustomed to spending everyday with Mara. She usually slept with Tobias and I so each morning it would be the same routine: I'd wake up after Tobias leaves, shower and then get Mara to awaken. She would hold my shirt as I went to both rooms and awoken my children, then we'd make the beds and go to breakfast. After that she would hang out in simulation room where we were finishing off the final week of initiation. She would read or play with cloud in the waiting room until lunch time and then I'd be free from the afternoon work so we could go around Dauntless and pick up Ezra from the tracks. I was enjoying this, she was a good conversationalist and had rather funny perspectives on things. I enjoyed her smile and her little giggle, I loved the way she would grasp my hand with her petit one or when my hands were full she'd grab my shirt. All was good, the family finally found its calm after the storm of problems.

Sure we still tried to adjust but we were happy, Tobias and I loved one another the way we did 18 years before. Then came the day, the day I lost two children. Phoenix and Damien were given their own apartments after completing initiation, which means I wouldn't have them apart of the daily routine any longer; in fact I would hardly see them since work was priority. Damien ranked 1st, Phoenix 2nd, no favoritism was handed around since it was Max's evaluation. They got first pick: Damien chose faction police, he would be guarding Dauntless from any threats while training another month for the force. After that he would be officially badged and given a place of guarding. If he wanted to he could even become a new faction police trainer, or he could be deployed to the fellow factions.

Phoenix was next to pick, she looked with pride at the new job that was offered due to a resignation. Faction Social Worker, she'd be in charge of all the children in Dauntless so to speak, assisting Georgina, the lady who helped with the adoption of Mara.

I can now only watch from the doorway of the boys' room while Damien carefully packs a box with his clothes and personal belongings.

"You know, I could always use some help with folding. I've got dad's hands when it comes to this kind of stuff." Damien smirks, holding up a very weirdly folded sweatshirt.

"Hey, your dad has gotten better." I say defensibly, only to laugh afterwards and grab a pair of pants from his dresser. "What floor do police force live on?" I ask him, beginning to pack a box with pants and shirts.

"Floor D, I'm only 2 floors above you guys." He says, tossing a pair of folded socks in a box on his bed.

"Are you still going to sit with your friends?" I ask next.

"Of course, I'm to used to that. And all of my old friends transferred out so I'm kind of glad to be stuck with them."

"Good. How's Piper?" He stops and stares into the dresser, blushing slightly as he smiles.

"She's amazing, I kissed her mom. 2 week ago I kissed her." He admits, my eyes widen. "She said if we work out for another 2 years then we can share an apartment right away."

"That's great Damien." I wrap my arms around my son and kiss his forehead, it requires me to tiptoe but I manage.

"Mind if I move out later? Piper is coming back from school in a few minutes." I laugh at his joke and nod.

"Go, bring your brother home while you're at it."

"Whens Mara starting anyways?" He asks.

"Your dad and I agreed instead of after Christmas that we will send her next month." I explain, Damien nods and hugs me once more.

"Love you mom." He runs for the door.

"Love you too Damien." I follow him, turning to the girls room where light chatter flows through the crack in the door.

"Are you leaving because I came?" Mara asks Phoenix, I hear a laugh and a drawer shut.

"No Ari, I'm leaving because I got my own place to live." Phoenix says.

"Where are you living?" Mara continues.

"I'm moving to floor D, with Damien. It's two flights of stairs away. You can come visit anytime!" That's when I finally open the door with a knock.

"You girls busy in here?" I ask with a small smile, partially made of sadness because soon it will be only Mara and Ezra.

"Mara is helping me fold some of my clothes." Phoenix explains, I watch the small hands of my daughter fold a shirt carefully.

"That's nice, your brother left to get Piper, Ezra and Izabel. They're all coming over here to hang out." I say, folding a few shirts myself.

"Damien and I leave tonight, it'll be the last time we all hang out like this." Phoenix laughs to herself. I run a hand over her back and sigh myself.

"You guys always hung out at someone's house after school, usually this one because I'm on call for work." I remind her.

"Those were the days." Phoenix sighs, Mara just stares at us with confusion.

"You're going to take care of mom and dad right?" Phoenix asks Mara.

"Yeah, but they take more care of me. Especially when I have nightmares." Mara says, jumping from her bed and grabbing her bunny. "Mommy, I'm sleepy. I folded all those clothes on the floor and want to still help but I had a bad night." She looks up to me with lightly blood-shot eyes.

"You can go take a nap sweetheart, I'll help Phoenix finish in here." I wrap her pink blanket around her shoulders and watch her shuffle out of the room and to the couch.

"Thanks Ari for the help!" Phoenix calls, Mara laid down and mumbled a 'No problem.'

"How's Alex?" I ask, making a new box while Phoenix closes the full one and labels in 'PANTS'.

"Good. He moved into his apartment this morning, turns out his and my apartment are only 3 doors away."

"That's good, you can see him a lot more that way." I say.

"Yeah," Phoenix agrees, picking up the folded shirts from the floor. "When did you and dad know that you wanted to be together forever?" She asks.

"Well it was sort of a spark when we first saw each other. He was the one to pull me from the net. But then I thought he was really annoying because he had this tuff guy thing going on when he was my trainer, in fact I could hardly stand him. But he saved me, he put my life before his and I knew I was hooked, I loved him so much. I made it through initiation because he was there to help me. Your dad invited me to move in with him as soon as I made it and chose my job. I never lived alone and decided to get me own apartment, right beside his. A year later I moved in with him to this floor and then add another year I was pregnant with you and Damien. It was perfect."

"Were you always this happy?"

"We had fights, but your dad and I are like each others own personal drug. We're addicted and will never be able to stop loving one another." I say with a wistful smile and shake of my head.

"Alex and I were able to say we loved each other only a week after our first kiss. Is that to soon?" She asks me, I smile at her concern.

"Does your heart feel okay with it?" I ask her, she now laughs.

"My heart felt amazing after I said it." She admits, I wrap my arms around her and kiss her cheek.

"I'm glad he makes you happy Phoe." I remind her, closing the final box and labeling 'PERSONAL BELONGINGS' "Is this it?" I ask, stacking the boxes by her bed.

"Yup, tonight I sleep in my own home." She says sadly, fixing the pillow and blanket on her old bed.

"You don't have to leave yet Phoe, you can always stay here." I remind her with tears in my eyes.

"I should go mom, I have my own job and should start to find my own way. I'll always see you at meals and trust me, I'm going to come over a lot." She says causing me to laugh and my few tears to roll down my cheeks.

"You and your brother were the start of this amazing life Phoenix, I can't thank you enough for being such an amazing daughter." I wrap my arms around her as she starts crying herself.

"Thank you mommy." She says into my neck, I squeeze her even tighter.

"Come on, let's go and wait for your brothers. Maybe even invite Alex so he can help move your boxes before dinner." I say, stroking her short red locks and ushering us out the room. When we make it to the living room the door opens to reveal 4 happily conversing people.

"Hi mom." Ezra waves, Izabel gives one as well and the two disappear into his room.

"Still sleepy?" Piper asks Damien, nodding to Mara. He nods and pulls her tighter into his side.

"Alex will be here in a few." Phoenix tells me as I plop down on the couch and scoop Mara onto my lap so she is sleeping on my chest.

"Okay." I nod, pecking the fair skin of my daughter and quickly stealing a whiff of her lavender smelling neck.

Soon enough Alex is entering the door, kissing Phoenix quickly as if to respect my presence in the room.

"Hello Mrs. Eaton." He smiles, I smile back.

"Alex, how are you?" I ask quietly, Mara gave a small snore and caused the three of us to laugh.

"Fine ma'am. How have you been?" He asks.

"Sad, my babies are leaving home." I whimper, Phoenix moans in my calling her a baby.

"Mom." She says making Alex laugh.

"Don't worry she won't be to far from home." He reminds me, intertwining his fingers with Phoenix's.

"Thank you Alex. So what do you kids plan on doing?" I ask as my hands run through Mara's silk hair.

"I don't know. Maybe relax for a bit and then lug those boxes two flights of stairs to my new place." Phoenix explains, tugging Alex to her room.

"Alright. Remember dinner at 6!" I call, covering Mara's ear so she won't hear.

"Well Piper, I still have to pack so you're stuck with me." Damien says, bringing her into the room where Ezra already sits at his desk.

Absentmindedly I stroke Mara's hair and run tentative fingers over her forehead. I can feel the slight warmth that came from her fever, she's been sick for a while but it seems to be dying down. Her cheek is uncovered showing two small glossy parts just a little ways apart from her eye. Her arms I scabbing over allowing her to pick and remove the old skin to reveal new fresh healed skin. We now soak the burns while she bathes and only wrap them for when she sleeps.

"Mommy?" She looks up with sleepy eyes and shifts on my lap slightly.

"Yes raven?" I ask, stroking her hair.

"You going to stay?" She asks me as she snuggles her face into my neck.

"Always beautiful." I promise, settling her down once again and humming the soft tune of a lullaby.

~.~.~

Dinner was lentil soup, once again Mara ate a few bites but then left the rest.

"Here sweetie, eat a bun at least." Tobias reasons, handing her the soft bread and watching as she tentatively chews without interest.

"She's already 10 pounds underweight, she's not getting any taller and I've noticed the way her body has no muscle and is becoming a sack of bones." Chris whispers to me, I shake my head in disbelief.

"Look if I could get her to eat more I would but she refuses. I don't know if she's afraid or this is a PTSD thing but it's out of my control." I tell her angrily, trying to avoid the rest of the group hearing.

"We can hospitalize her." Chris complies.

"No, I won't put her somewhere that she isn't comfortable with. Give her some time, she'll get used to this place eventually and will finally put on some weight. Please Chris I won't have her taken away from me." I plead, Chris glares a little longer at me but finally nods in defeat.

"Fine, but please keep an eye on her." She begs.

"Always do." I say back, returning to the group conversation and smiling at Marlene and Uriah who are just joining us.

"Sorry Sammy needed to eat." Marlene says sheepishly, taking Sam and allowing Uriah to get food.

"Don't worry Mar, we all know what it was like." Chris says with a wave of dismissal.

"Excuse me, I've never had a kid." Lynn says with a laugh, Ronnie smiles at her sadly.

"Have you ever wanted kids Lynn?" Shauna asks leaning over slightly to watch her sister.

"I don't know. Ronnie and I just met, we are taking things slow." Lynn explains, leaning into Ronnie slightly and eating more soup.

"Here Mar, you need to eat. Let me take Sam." I say, rising from my seat and approaching the perky blonde.

"Thanks Tris." She says, handing me Sam and sitting with Uriah. I return to my seat, cradling the 3 week old.

"Her hands are tiny." Mara analyzes, watching as the hand curls around her finger.

"Do you think she's pretty?" Uriah asks Mara.

"Very pretty. She looks like you Uriah." Mara says, smiling lightly at the sleeping child.

"We get that a lot." Uriah beams, shoving more soup into his mouth.

Conversations rose and died down, the kids appeared a few minutes after Marlene and Uriah arrived. They seemed tired after running boxes between 2 floors, but then the thought dawns on me that they will be leaving our apartment tonight forever.

"Tris I have to go get something, do you mind getting our kids gathered and in the apartment? Also warm up a pot of milk while you're at it. Enough for 6 mugs." Tobias asks, beginning to step from the bench.

"Sure, here take the tray." I urge, moving the tray with three bowls, 3 small plates and 3 cups all stacked on it.

"Alright. See you later." He pecked me on the lips and quickly kissed Mara's head before leaving for the kitchen door. I raise an eyebrow of suspicion but handed Sam back to Uriah and helped Mara from the bench.

"Come on kids. Your dad wants us in the apartment." I say, lifting Mara so she can sit on my hip.

"What for?" Damien asks, releasing Piper's waist.

"No clue. Now let's go." I say, nodding for the exit. Damien pressed his lips to Piper's head and rose from his seat, Ezra followed and Phoenix came last, kissing Alex softly and then running to toss her dishes in the dirty dishes pile.

The 5 of us walked back home, Ezra exasperated the excitement of getting his own room.

"Calm down there Ezra. I'm moving out not leaving the city!" Damien says with a laugh, moving next to me and moving Mara's hair from her face.

"Hey Ari." Damien smiles, walking backwards to convers with his sister.

"Hi Dami." Mara smiles back.

"Do you want me to load you off mom?" He extends his arms to her and she gladly lets go of my neck, grasping to Damien. He carries her leaving me to walk freely.

"You nervous?" I ask Phoenix.

"No, it's going to be lonely though. It'll be fun though." Phoenix nods, wrapping her arm with mine and nuzzling into my shoulder.

"My little girl." I exasperate, running a hand over her curls.

~.~.~

Tobias returned with a white box and container of cocoa powder. I already had the milk heated and finally connected the reason for what he needed it for.

"Hot chocolate and cake. A perfect way to say goodbye." Tobias declares, placing the cake on the counter and grabbing some mugs. He got busy making hot chocolate while Damien, Phoenix and Ezra eagerly opened the box to reveal the dark cake.

"Yum!" Ezra squeaked, running for some plates and forks.

"Come sweetie, you should have some cake." I suggest to Mara who is already dressed in a black tank top and baggy pajama pants. She climbs onto my barstool and sat on my lap with earnest to see the cake.

"Here we are." Tobias smiles, placing a mug in front of us all and taking the final stool with satisfaction.

"This is a great idea dad." Phoenix acknowledged, eating her slice of cake happily.

"I remember when you and Damien would do anything for a slice of cake." I say.

"Oh yeah, remember we took away their pacifiers by giving them cake." Tobias laughs, I join in myself.

"You bribed us!?" Damien demands.

"Ezra too." I say, Ezra furrows his eyebrows in disbelief.

"What else did you do?" Phoenix asks with a smirk.

"Well we also bribed you to use the toilet and then to go to bed a few times. Oh and of course for birthdays." I say with remembrance.

"Remember when Ezra mashed his face into Izabel's birthday cake?" Damien asks, Ezra turns 30 shades of red.

"I was little." Ezra says angrily.

"You were 8." Phoenix mocks, taking a very angry glare from Ezra.

"Have I ever told you what your dad told me when I thought this initiate I trained with we going to kill me?" I ask, Tobias' face deadpans.

"No, what did he say?" Ezra asks eagerly.

"He said he would only go to my funeral as long as there was cake." I say, smirking at my husband.

"DAD!" The three kids abolish, Mara looks up with a giggle as she eats another fork of chocolate cake.

"We were young, I always teased her!" Tobias defends himself.

"Still does." I wink, running a hand over his neck and drawing small traces of none existent shapes.

"Does it sadden you guys that we are leaving?" Damien asks with less happiness in his tone.

"No Damien, we just hate to watch our babies grow up." Tobias says tightly. "You guys were born 10 minutes apart, Damien you cried loudly, Phoenix you were a lot more quiet. You two held hands after we managed to put you down for the first time that night. Your mom and I couldn't take a picture but believe me it moved us to tears. Your first fight was when you were 5 and wanted to play with, what was it?"

"A train set." I supply, Tobias smirks.

"You guys wanted to play with a train set but couldn't agree on sharing so Phoenix you being so small compared to your brother stood up and jumped on his head. Damien you threw a train at her head from there. When Damien was 10 he was mad because his lung wasn't doing so well and he finished an annual lung draining. After he woke up form a well needed nap Phoenix read to him a book and tried to be the best sister ever. Damien you refused to leave your sisters bedside when she had an episode and was in the hospital. You guys fight and are pests with each other but I couldn't have asked for a better 16 years with you two." Tobias says, tears slipping from his eyes.

"Dad please don't cry." Phoenix whispers, her tears slowly running down her cheeks. I feel my own fall but smile at my son and daughter.

I reach across the table and run and hand over both of their smooth cheeks, "Our meadow and mountain, we are so proud."

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**-Valentina **


	52. Chapter 52- My Raven

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 52  
My Raven

A year. A year since Mara, since the twins moved out, since our lives changed forever. A year that consisted of starting school, making friends, getting the highest grade in the kindergarten class. A year that also consisted of getting in fights, trying to act like a rebel, being what my friends would call an adrenaline junkie. Yes, Mara was successful with her first year of school and is happy with the start of the first grade but Ezra on the other hand is trying to find himself. Being like this means many disputes between him and Tobias and I. He's been grounded more times than he has been free and I fear that this is an attempt to draw attention to himself.

"Are you ready for school?" I ask Mara while crouching in front of her small frame and adjusting the backpack straps looped around her arms.

"Yes mommy." Mara nods, before wrapping her arms around me and allowing me to plant a kiss on her forehead.

"Ezra let's go! You don't want to be late." I call through the apartment. Ezra exits his room with a firm glare plastered on his face. "Are you still mad at me?" I ask him as he slides his shoes on.

"You got mad at me for no reason yesterday-"

"I had perfectly valid reasons." I contradict him, he just furrows his eyebrows and blinks heavily to avoid his tears. "Don't start crying." I warn him, my anger from last night coming back. Mara tucks herself behind my leg and watches warily.

"I didn't do anything wrong! I went train jumping, everyone does it!" He screamed loudly, flailing his arms in exaggeration.

"You're 12 Ezra, and you skipped school to do it! What if you fell and got hit by a train, be happy that the school called because you weren't there." I demand, reaching for the door to indicate our ended conversation.

"I hate you." He mumbled before sliding out the door and running for the tracks.

"Ezra Eaton!" I call down the hallway angrily but he's already turning the corner and is out of sight.

"Ezra shouldn't hate you." Mara whispers taking my hand in her gentle way.

"He's angry. I'll talk to him later." I say, shutting the door and beginning our walk to the train tracks. Ezra will probably get the first train, no use in chasing after him.

"I'll never be mad with you mommy." Mara promises, leaning into my thigh and sighing. I laugh and open the door to the tracks.

We wait for a few minutes and then I kissed Mara's soft forehead and the two light scars on her cheek before sending her on the train.

"Love you mommy!" Mara waves, running for the train and climbing on. I read my phone to see a message requiring me to go to the ambassadors office. Work come and goes for me, I only go to the office when messaged to.

At work I'm assigned some paperwork for Amity crop distribution, I sit at my desk contently writing notes down and going through different files. Then my phone buzzed:

"Hello?" I answer the buzzing.

"Ms. Eaton, Mr. Burrel speaking. I'm calling to clarify the absence of Ezra." The familiar voice of the elementary school principle comes into my mind.

"Hello Mr. Burrel. Ezra should be there. I watched him get on the train with my youngest daughter Mara this morning." I say without alarm.

"He has not shown up for 2 lessons. We can only tell you that he is not on the school premises."

"That's impossible." I say with anger boiling inside me.

"Sorry ma'am but your son is not here. We are not responsible if he did not come to school this morning. Good luck in finding him, I'm sure he's alright." The phone line goes dead and I instantly press 1 on my phone.

"Tobias, it's Ezra. He ditched again!" I say into the phone, organizing my desk and rising from the swivel chair. I wrapped by sweater around me and walked from the office, out the ambassador wing and towards the control room.

"That boy is done, he either picks up his act or-"

"Or what Tobias?" I ask with dismay. "We can't give him away and he's already grounded. I don't know what else to do."

"Find him, that's a good idea. I see you coming." Tobias hung up and before I could get to the door he opened it to reveal his perfect face. Only it was coated with a certain anger that was new and only used for Ezra.

"Where do you think he went?" I ask skeptically, beginning to walk forward before I heard a female voice from the control room.

"Four!" It was rapid and calling my husband back. He walked with my hand in his, an eyebrow raised in suspectance.

"You were talking about your son missing?" Danny asks from where she sat with her face stuck on a screen.

"Yeah, is he in the compound?" Tobias asks, releasing me and running to the screen.

"No, he's climbing the hub!" Danny exasperated, pointing to the 5 male figures beginning their accent to the top.

"That idiot!" Tobias spits, grabbing my arm and beginning to run for the tracks. "We've got to hurry! What if he falls and gets hurt?!" I demand angrily, picking up the pace at the sound of an on coming train. We jump on and I instantly feel the urge to go faster. I remember the first time Tobias and I taught Mara to train jump she asked how fast it went. Tobias told her that originally it went 55 mph but with slight adjustments the speed was picked up to 80 mph. It would slow down to 55 when coming across a jumping/boarding area but quickly moved back to 80.

"Calm down Tris, we know where he is." Tobias says, taking both of my shaking shoulders.

"Why can't he just be good?" I ask with a crack in my voice. Only now do I feel the wet tear slide down my cheek.

"He's in the rebellious stage. Give him time, we'll have to talk to him after we drag him home." Tobias kisses my forehead and wipes my eyes with his thumbs before releasing me and looking out the train.

"We should jump soon, in fact now maybe." Tobias says knowingly, I can see the hub standing tall a block away.

"Come on." I urge anxiously, jumping for the train and continuing to run the final block to where my son is nearly asking for his death.

"EZRA ANDREW EATON!" I cry angrily, spooking many people in the process. Tobias came next to me and called Ezra's full name as well. We made it to the side of the hub and I could see Ezra halfway to the top, his friends calling encouragements from the ground.

"EZRA ANDREW EATON GET YOUR SORRY BUTT DOWN HERE!" Tobias screamed, Ezra looks down in terror.

"Shit." I heard the word echo between the buildings.

"Get down now!" I scream angrily, he finally began to descend from the building side, all his friends ran after Tobias and I showed up.

"Before you get all 'mom and dad' on me, let me explain!" Ezra begged, landing on the ground and approaching with raised hands.

"What's there to explain Ezra?" Tobias asks his son, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It was a dare." Ezra complies, I notice the blood slip from his right hand and down to his elbow.

"A stupid dare that got you hurt!" I abolish, grabbing his hand and noticing the gash in his palm.

"It's a scratch. You guys never let me have fun." Ezra moans, yanking his arm away and looking to his feet.

"This wasn't fun. It was stupid and reckless and does not excuse the need for you to skip school!" I demand, Ezra rolls his eyes.

"Watch the eye rolling mister because you are looking at weeks of house confinement." Tobias warns, stepping forward.

"Sorry." Ezra whispers in despise, crossing his arms and tapping his foot irritably.

"We'll talk about this at home." Tobias says, taking Ezra by the back and walking to the train. We all climb in, Ezra takes the corner of the train while Tobias and I stand at the doors, staring out to the changing landscape.

~.~.~

"You made your dad and I leave work, you almost got yourself killed, you did this stupid thing on a dare, and you skipped school! God dammit Ezra, if I was in my right mind right now I would be sending you to some jail for kids or whatever!" Tobias exasperates, I sit on the couch next to Ezra wiping his palm with alcohol swabs.

"Ow." Ezra whispers, trying to yank his arm away only to have me pull it back.

"You don't need stitches." I say, taking a band-aid and placing it over the still bleeding wound.

"Did you hear me?" Tobias asks tightly.

"Yes, so what is my punishment?" Ezra asks, rubbing his palm over the Band-Aid.

"You're grounded until next month. School, home, that's it! Nothing more." Tobias says, taking my hand and grabbing the first-aid kit from my other hand.

"Fine." Ezra mumbles, heading to his room and closing the door quietly.

"We are going to get ulcers from this child." Tobias whispers, taking me to our room and closing our door.

"Do you have to go back to work?" I ask, sitting on our bed and watching him put the first aid kit away.

"No, we can go get Mara together." He says, stroking my hair behind my ear and kissing my forehead.

"I have to go on business tomorrow night, I have to go to Amity for discussion on the crop distribution." I say, running a hand over his cheek.

"For how long?" Tobias asks, leaning forward and kissing my lips.

"From 5pm tomorrow to 6am the next day. It's a meeting and then watch over nightly cropping." I tell him, holding his collar so his kisses won't bombard my explanation.

"Okay, now can I kiss you?" He asks, I nod and release his shirt so his lips press on mine.

We make out, that's as far as the child in the room over would allow us.

"Mara." I remind Tobias as he pressed his lips down my collarbone.

"Okay." Tobias moans, releasing me with a final kiss and helping me to my feet.

We straighten up and walk to the tracks, the children are already jumping off to meet awaiting parents.

It passes quickly and we watch over the many heads for the black hair of our daughter.

"Maybe she missed the train and is getting on the next one." Tobias suggests, I began shaking immediately. We wait 10 minutes and watch the final group of kids appear. My heart pounds in my chest.

I count 47 heads.

My Mara isn't one of them.

Now my heart stops.

I can't hear.

My ears ring.

My hands shake intensely.

"My baby." Is all I choke out before the tears begin to fall.

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**-Valentina**


	53. Chapter 53- My Heart Was Broken

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 53  
My Heart Was Broken

Tears don't run out, you just lose track that they are falling after a few hours. We had the whole group of our friends collected, Piper was caring for the younger kids while we all spread out in the compound to knock on every door and search every hallway. Danny kept her eyes open in the control room. Chris stayed watch in the infirmary.

"Please is a little girl in there!" I smack my hand on the 189th door I've checked today. A man looking disturbed by my sobs eyed me.

"I'm sorry?" He asked confused.

"My daughter. She's short with black hair and blue eyes. Please tell me you've seen her!" I beg, sobbing even harder and running a finger over my small raven tattoo.

"I'm sorry miss, I haven't." He shakes his head and is about to close the door.

"Daddy who is that?" A small voice asks, I stop the door with my foot.

"How old is your daughter?" I ask through the crack in the door.

"Six, why?" The man asks me, his voice hinting annoyance. I open the door and crouch down so I'm leveled with the girl.

"Are you in the first grade?" I ask hopefully.

"Yes ma'am." The girl nods, hugging the back of her dad's leg while he strokes back her messy hair.

"Do you know Mara? She has black hair and blue eyes." I supply.

"Mara had to leave early. Someone picked her up." Believe me, I wanted to start crying harder than humanly possible right there and then but I needed more answers.

"What was this person wearing?" I ask.

"It was more than one person. There were 2 in black and 3 in blue." She says. "Is Mara lost?"

"Yes she is. Thank you for helping me. Sorry for disturbing you." I rise and run away, down to the lower floor apartments where I should find Tobias. I run aimlessly and then finally hit something rock hard.

"They have her!" I sob out, feeling Tobias' arms wrap around me.

"Who has her?!" Tobias asks quickly, shaking my arms slightly.

"Peter and Drew, they have her in Erudite with three other men." I scream, motioning to the doors.

"Shh Tris, calm down. How do you know this?" Tobias asks me, cupping my cheeks and staring at me straight in the eye.

"This girl in Mara's class… she said… she said some guys picked her up!" I cry out, crumbling against Tobias and allowing him to scoop me up.

"We need to call everyone back together. We need to file a report." Tobias says, holding me in one arm while pulling up his phone and calling the group chat we have.

My phone buzzed since I'm apart but I didn't answer, I just listened as six other people answered rapidly and asked for Mara's where abouts.

"We're having a meeting in the cafeteria. Someone get Phoenix, Piper, and Damien please." Tobias hung up after that, sliding his phone back in his pocket and holding me up again with both arms.

"I just want my baby." I sob shakily, gripping his shirt in absolute despair.

"We're going to find her! We are not going to lose her." Tobias promises, pushing open a door with his hip and walking me down a flight of stairs.

"I promised that no one would take her away from us. She trusted me."

"And you did not fail her. Please just let us take this slow." Tobias begs, his voice cracking in the desperation to keep from crying. We go through the next flight of stairs and finally make it to the empty cafeteria. How many hours have we been searching? Six now? I know we missed dinner so it was some time past eight when the cafeteria is cleared out for clean up.

"What happened?" Chris runs to Tobias the moment we enter the bright room. Few people sat at tables, mostly those who got held back at work or missed dinner and came for a snack.

"Tris thinks she knows where Mara is." Tobias explains, setting me down at our table and sitting next to me. I wipe my eyes with the end of my sleeve and look to the group. Damien sat next to me, holding my shoulders and running a hand over my arm reassuringly. Phoenix and Piper were next to him, looking to me with pained eyes.

"A girl in Mara's class mentioned how Mara left school with two men in black and three in blue. We searched every room in dauntless so that only leaves Erudite. Damien we need dispatchers searching all corners of Erudite." I say shakily.

"Of course." Damien agrees, nodding aggressively to my request.

"You all should go home, thanks for helping." I choke out, covering my eyes with my hands and resting my elbows on the table.

"She'll be fine Tris." Ronnie offers, sending her arm out and running careful fingers over my wrist.

"She's a baby." I whisper painfully, leaning into Tobias' embrace.

"She won't be gone for long. By tomorrow we will have her home." Tobias whispers, holding my head to his chest so I can hear his heartbeat. I don't bother to calm down anytime soon so I allow Tobias to lift me back into his arms and walk me back to the apartment, our friends saying sentimental words before heading their own way.

"Go to bed Ezra. Your mom and sister will be fine." Tobias says gloomily, kicking our door shut with his heel and placing me on the bed.

"I failed her." I insist, watching through murky eyes as Tobias peels back the bed covers and kicks off his shoes. He removes his shirt and pants, coming to me and sliding my shoes and sweater off for me. He lies on the bed and tucks me into his chest, allowing me to continue to cry out my pain.

"She will never believe that." Tobias insists, I cry harder.

The continuation of my tears and the sudden way they burned my skin dragged me into rest, I was refusing to sleep but I couldn't fight the way my eyes slammed shut and my brain turned off for the night.

~.~.~

I refused to eat breakfast, after that lunch, and finally wallowed back to my self-pity that dinner was not even an event in my mind. Tobias stayed by my side, held my hair as I dry heaved from choking on my tears and was on the phone constantly for the news of Damien's work in Erudite. When Ezra came home I was hope full that he'd seen Mara. He shook his head painfully and went to his room. My heart was broken.

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	54. Chapter 54- It All Clicks

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 54  
It All Clicks

"Tris please come for breakfast." Tobias begged with tears in his eyes. Almost a whole week passed and I refused to eat, whatever I did manage was usually thrown up because I would cry to hard.

"No Tobias." I say tightly, clutching Cloud into my chest a little harder and smelling the sweet lavender that I remember belonging to my small raven.

"I'm going to go and see Damien, he said Erudite is clear from any proof of Mara's being there." Tobias says sadly, stroking my hair.

"Where can she be?" I ask sadly, looking to him and realizing the glint of tears in his eyes.

"They're going to search the tracks, search the streets, so far all we know is that Mara is not in Erudite or Dauntless."

"Okay." I turn over in bed and listen as Tobias leaves the room, my head clears with great realization. Peter and Drew, they haven't been in the compound at all so I know they are behind Mara's kidnapping. Those sick, conniving, assholes who can't understand the amount of pain people feel.

"Molly." I seethe suddenly, rising from the bed and dragging my hair into a ponytail. I leave the house in my skinny jeans and black tank top Tobias managed to change me into yesterday after 2 days of not bathing. I run out to the pit and scower the grounds, gripping the rail until my knuckles turn white, partially from anger and partially from dizziness and hunger.

I turn my head at the monstrous laugh that lead to the doors of the cafeteria. Molly was close to entering.

"Molly!" I demand her attention, walking quickly to her with anger swelling from all my features.

"Yes?" She asks me skeptically, raising an eyebrow and smirking at my small demeanor in front of her's.

"Where is she?" I spit, swallowing my tears.

"Who?" Molly laughs slightly, taking pleasure in my sadness.

"Mara! My daughter, my little girl! She has black hair and blue eyes. She's short and skinny and sings while she skips around these hallways. She likes to wear black dresses with blue spots and have her hair in a braid down her back! She holds a bunny and smells like lavender. She doesn't like to sleep alone so I hold her at night and sing to her the same song! She smiles at everyone, she said you would be pretty if you tried to smile more," I point an accusing finger at her scowl causing her to calm her features and straighten up in stance. "She loves school, and reading and begged me never to leave her. Someone kidnapped her and Peter and Drew have had their eyes on getting back at me for years now! SO PLEASE TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!" I beg as tears run down my cheeks.

"Tris," Molly looks to me for a moment and it hits me that she uses my real name. "I know Peter. I love Peter. I'm holding Peter's child right now." I glance at her stomach, there was a baby in there for sure. "Peter is cruel and likes to tease you but you don't know him the way I do. He's sweet and loving and wouldn't take your daughter away, especially after what she's been through. Her mom being beaten to death and then her other parents burned. The kid's been through enough. Sorry." Molly offers, her eyes genuinely being honest.

"Where is he then?" I test with a croak.

"He and Drew are on business in Abnegation. Don't ask what for though, Peter said it's law enforcement privacy." Molly says, her eyes wander past me. "Look I've got to go. Good luck with finding her, I'll keep my eyes peeled." Molly awkwardly ran a hand over my upper arm and walked towards the door, her friend taking her arm and diving into the gossip of my loud plead.

I rummage through my thoughts, thinking of ways to not be useless and to find my daughter. Molly claims Peter is good but I can hardly believe her attempt to protect her boyfriend or husband or whatever they were!

My next option is to find someone from the source of the 3 Erudites. Caleb, my brother who I've despised for being cold hearted to a girl in need.

I run as fast as possible to the tracks, my body trembling and tears not falling anymore. I jump the train and sit by the door, my hands clutching to the side as I watch the different land fly by. I go by Abnegation first, a dark patch covering the area of my childhood home. Repairs weren't being done to the house out of respect to the lost souls in that fire. Candor comes next, the building standing high in the sky with a large symbol plastered on the building front. Finally after a 30 minutes train ride I see Erudite's compound come up. The building was tall like Candor, glass windows gave it a see through quality and many science based items were seen inside.

I jump from the cart and begin my run to the entrance, throwing glares to the stern faces that abolished me for my running and causing of havoc.

"Caleb Prior." I demand the front desk, my hand hitting it to grab the attention of the tightly bunned lady sitting behind her receptions desk.

"He's in the lab, 57th floor, but I must know your purpose of seeing him!" She calls after me, I'm already climbing the stairs apposed to taking the elevator. I skip steps, dodge the few who travel down and finally find the 57th floor door.

"Caleb!" I call loudly despite the quiet atmosphere. Everyone turns to see me and I try to find my brother's face.

"Beatrice?" He approaches me from the back of the room, his posture tightened by my disturbance. Everyone went back to work while Caleb led me to the other side of the room. "Beatrice why are you here?" Caleb asks me bitterly, I don't drop my glare.

"How could you not take pity on her?" I ask.

"Who?" Caleb asks dumbly, he was no Erudite in this conversation!

"Mara!" I say, he shushes me.

"That was a year ago, did you take her? "Caleb asks.

"Of course I took her in. She was sad and hurt and needed a home. I gave her one, I was her mother and now someone kidnapped her. 3 Erudites and 2 Dauntless stole my baby and I've been trying to find her." I say with tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Go home Beatrice, I know nothing of Mara's where abouts. She means nothing to me."

"What does that mean?" I ask bitterly.

"I mean that she has no test value to me, she wasn't worth keeping." And suddenly it clicks.

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**-Valentina **


	55. Chapter 55- She's Innocent

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 55  
She's Innocent

I don't hesitate to punch him, throwing my fist into his jaw was like a relief of epic proportions.

"What the hell Beatrice?!" Everyone watches as Caleb holds his mouth and spits blood onto the perfect white floor.

"Tell me Caleb! Tell me where you took her!" I demand, grabbing his collar and pressing him against the window.

"I can't say." He smirks, shaking his head distastefully.

"TELL ME DAMN IT! MY DAUGHTER IS LOST AND YOU HELPED!" I scream so loud my throat burns.

"SHE KILLED MOM AND DAD!" Caleb throws back.

"She's innocent, mom and dad were being selfless and got caught in the crossfire of breaking faction laws. I miss them as much as you do but Mara is gone and I need to protect her." I say in a calmer voice, staring at Caleb with great intensity.

"I tested her." Caleb admits.

"Tested her for what?" I ask warily.

"Young divergence. She was clear. I gave her to those other guys and demanded to remove her from my sights. I didn't want to have to stand in our burnt house and watch the girl! She's a monster!"

"NO CALEB. NO. YOU'RE THE MONSTER!" I scream, dropping his collar and sobbing. "I'm begging of you, help me get her back." I beg loudly, dropping to my knees and leaning my head into his knees.

"I can't, I left her to their mercy."

"Who's they!?" I hysterically demand.

"I never saw their faces, I never got their names. All I asked was for a test subject. Children exposed to early life trauma are prone to divergence, she was a perfect test subject."

"Fuck you." I seethe, rising from the floor and glaring at him as his eyes wander. "Fuck you." I whisper again, shoving him against the window and leaving the building, riding the elevator down to the entrance and running to the tracks.

I ride past the factions again and re think my conversation with my brother.

_I didn't want to have to stand in our burnt house and watch the girl! She's a monster!_

My heart aches when I think about someone calling her a monster. Mara is the kindest soul, a monster is far from what she is.

He saw her, he hurt her, my little girl was at the mercy of my brother. She's so tiny and skinny and as delicate as a flower, I just want to hold her and kiss her and never let her go.

What ever happened to that selfless boy I grew up with years ago? The one who helped the elderly and was the spitting image of a fine young man. Tobias said he was gone, I didn't trust him then but now I do. Now I believe what Tobias had to say about my brother, his ideas were spot on about the fake smiles and fake kindness. Deep down Caleb is a heartless person.

Shakily I rise on my feet and jump from the train, stumbling and falling to my weak knees. I feel the blood soak my pants instantly and notice the darkening jean fabric. The pain felt good, different from how I've felt all week. I continue to the compound and head down the stairs to the pit. Most people sympathies me with their looks; word has gone out about a missing girl and everyone was instructed to pay attention for her. I avoided eye contact and down casted my view to my feet, walking quickly into the cafeteria to find it empty and being cleared from breakfast.

"Tris," I turn at the sound of Ronnie's voice. "Where'd you go? Tobias called and you didn't answer." She says, jogging to me and looking at my expression.

"I went to find Mara." I say with tears flooding my eyes, saying her name hurts.

"Any luck?" Ronnie asks hopefully. I shake my head at a negative note.

"No. Well maybe. My brother, that damn person, was apart of kidnapping her. He wanted to test her for divergence and when she came up clear he left her with 4 other men."

"Did he say where they took her?" Ronnie asks hopefully, wiping my tears with careful hands.

"He wouldn't tell me. I was so close to beating the answer out of him but I'm to weak. I'd be arrested and then I wouldn't get Mara." I explain, shaking with sobs.

"I'm going to call everyone, we need to figure this out as a family." She pulls me into an embrace and strokes my hair. Ronnie had a hard childhood. Abusive parents and no friends, she transferred out of Erudite and kept back. She was cut and brought back after what Tobias did. Ronnie likes to call our group a family, because she never truly had one. We are her brothers and sisters; the kids are her nieces and nephews. She loves so much more than most people deserve. "We know she's alive. He'd tell you if she wasn't." Ronnie offers, releasing me and pulling her phone up. I feel the vibration of my phone from the group chat she called but ignored it, the same way I did with Tobias every night.

"Guys come to the cafeteria, Tris talked to Caleb and we may be able to get something from the conversation." Ronnie says, few voices conversed in curiosity of why I left but Ronnie quieted them. "Just come, the faster we break this down, the sooner Mara comes home." Ronnie ends the conversation and wraps her arm around my shoulder, leading me to our regular table and helping me sit.

"Let me get you something to eat." Ronnie leaves me and heads to the food, talking to the man serving food about making an exception. He looks to me and nods at Ronnie, handing her a muffin on a plate with a napkin and glass of water. Ronnie comes back and places it in front of me, sitting across from me at her usual seat and smiling.

"Eat, you haven't had any food in days." I obey and nibble at the blue berry muffin, sipping water every now and then. Tobias is first to arrive, heaving a few breathes before coming to my side and wrapping his arms around me from behind.

"I was so worried, I called your cell like 20 times!" He exasperates, kissing my forehead and sitting next to me with a hand holding my back.

"Finally you're eating." He smiles, I nod but can't manage a smile back because my mind keeps going over Caleb. Everyone else comes afterwards and are soon bombarding me with questions.

"Tris please tell us what happened." Tobias pleads, I watch everyone shush.

"Caleb admitted to being apart of kidnapping Mara. He and 2 other erudites and 2 dauntless took her from school. He doesn't know who they are or what their names are but he said they agreed to allow him to test on her. He said something about children who lived through traumatic events tend to be divergent, she came up negative and so he left her with the others. He said he couldn't stand looking at her, he said she was a monster. He blames her for my parents death and was glad to leave." My body trembles when I remember his words.

"Did he say anything that might give away Mara's where abouts?" Marlene asks, balancing Sam on her lap as the baby grabs Thalia's dress as she clings to Will.

"Think hard Tris." Chris warns, I try hard to remember our conversation.

_I didn't want to have to stand in our burnt house and watch the girl! She's a monster!_

_I didn't want to have to stand in our burnt house and watch the girl!_

_Stand in our burnt house and watch the girl! _

_Stand in our burnt house _

"She's in Abnegation." I say in a daze, rising quickly and running for the doors.

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**-Valentina **


	56. Chapter 56- Beaters, Captors, Rapists

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 56  
Beaters, Captors, Rapists

"Tris stop!" Tobias swings me around and I protest, tugging my way to the doors.

"Let go Tobias!" I cry, hitting his chest in anger.

"Tris if we go without backup someone, especially Mara, will get hurt. Let me call Damien and get him to send a few police with us." Tobias reasons, I sob furiously and tug my arm again. He holds me tighter. "Tris please!" He begs, I let out a strangled 'NO' and lean away.

"I need to get to her before they hurt her more!" I scream, Zeke comes behind me and grabs my shoulders in a hugging fashion, allowing Tobias to pull up his phone and call Damien.

"Send a few police to the cafeteria, we think we found Mara." Tobias hangs up and turns to our friends.

"Chris, go to the infirmary and set up a room in case we get Mara. We'll be back as soon as possible." Tobias looks to the back doors and heads over to the 5 men in heavy gear approach.

"Mara's case?" One asks, Tobias nods. "We will do our best to keep this civil and quick." The same man states, approaching Zeke. "We'll need you, and Tris." He informs Zeke.

"Okay." Zeke releases me and Tobias catches my shaking body.

"Let's move." The head policeman says, the others follow and we begin to run, heading up the stairs and towards the tracks. I could hardly jump on out of complete shock that my daughter is in mere reach of me but I can only be so far away.

"The burnt house." I say tightly, pointing to the black blob amongst the gray.

We jump and I fall again soaking my jeans with blood even more. What surprises me though is my speed to run to my old house, my ability to beat even the police as I dodge few people and make it to the familiar doorstep that is coated in ash.

A police man ushers me aside and kicks the door down, we all rush in and I nearly faint at the sight.

Mara laid on the floor, naked, bleeding, passed out. Men laughed in the kitchen while one in blue brought a needle to her arm. He couldn't inject her before we came in, he dropped the syringe and raised his arms in surrender.

"EVERYONE FREEZE!" Was screamed into the apartment, Tobias and I ran to our daughter, I collapsed by her body and sobbed heavily. Tobias rushed to strip of his sweatshirt and cover her, my hands went to work seeing what was wrong.

I touched her burning forehead and repelled from the way it felt. Her fever must have been over 104. She was sweating intensely and I noticed the vomit that trailed all the way over to her and coated the corners of her mouth. Tobias grabbed her wrist and squeezed it between two fingers.

"She's alive, but her heart beat is weak." Tobias drops her hand and lays her on her back, removing the sweater to quickly check for any broken bones.

"Tobias," I choke out, pointing to her collar bone. Tobias scrunches his face in disgust at the skin that once showed a beautiful raven but now shows bleeding skin with a prominent infection.

"They cut the skin piece off." Tobias says, running a hand over her bruised skin to feel for prominent cracks. "All her ribs are either bruised or broken. We need to be really careful with carrying her." Tobias slips off his shirt to reveal his chest and abs, tension cause them to be prominent and strong. "Help me dress her." Tobias says, I hold her up while he slips his top over her tiny frame, the neck hole slips over almost both shoulders but hangs by the tiny bones.

"Four, Tris, we have the convicts. Time to move out. Benji will stay behind and collect evidence." A voice behinds me says. I hear grunts of discomfort as the men are dragged out but I refuse to turn around and face my daughter's beaters, captors, and… rapists.

"Okay." Tobias wraps the sweatshirt around her body and lifts her up with ease, cradling her like a baby and eyeing her expression for discomfort. She lays sleeping, bags under her once beautiful skinned eyes and bruises consuming her jaw line. She began to shake as if she were cold, her fever obviously not doing much justice to her.

"Careful with her neck." I say, holding her head up to avoid it from snapping back.

"I know, for the train I'm going to hand her to you once you're on okay?" Tobias asks, I nod with his plan and urge him to run forward so we can get her to the hospital. "Go Tris." Tobias urges, nodding for the train and allowing me to get to the back. I leap in and reach for Mara. Tobias lifts her up and I manage to snag the sweatshirt, pulling her into my chest with a grunt. Tobias finally comes in and I scoot back against the train wall, hugging Mara to my chest while breathing hard and crying into her hair.

"We have her." Tobias sooths me, hugging my shoulders and kissing my ear.

"She still smells like lavender." I whimper, pressing my nose into her neck and trying to be easy with her broken body.

"We should get her back and cleaned up." Tobias says, wiping smut from behind Mara's ear.

"They cut her tattoo off." I pull down the shirt to show the bloodied skin.

"That's going to need a few stitches." I release the shirt and look out the train.

"Who were they?" I ask, wondering if it was Peter and Drew who kidnapped Mara.

"Peter, Drew, they refused to look at us though." Tobias seethes, I turn to see his pained eyes.

"Molly trusted Peter, she's going to be so heartbroken when she learns what he did." I say. Mara began to whimper, I could feel her constricted arms push against my hip bones.

"Mara. Mara sweetie it's okay. It's mommy." I promise her, realizing her futile attempts to get away from me. Tobias begins to run a hand over her hair as she grunted angrily and shoved farther away. She kept her eyes shut, she was either too scared to look or having a nightmare.

"She's going to hurt herself." Tobias worries, rising from the ground and walking to the car door. "Uh oh." He mumbles, I lift a suspicious eyebrow.

"Uh-oh what?" I ask skeptically, rising myself and holding Mara on my shoulder.

"Half of the compound is here. Everyone wants to know where Mara is. They have the Faction News and everything." Tobias exasperates, I look past the door and see it myself. Our friends stood in the crowd, Chris had a few doctors with a stretcher and neck brace. I notice the police and 4 men jump, the criminals' fall from the lack of balance and curse. Finally our cart comes by and we jump, Mara wiggles in pain from the jostling.

"Chris she needs help." I say, running forward and placing Mara on the cold ground, the sweater unraveling from her shoulders and shirt slipping down even more. Chris runs forward and places a tentative hand over Mara's forehead. Mara twitches at the contact but continues the whimpering. I grasp her hand for comfort.

"Peter what did you do!?" I turn my head rapidly and notice Molly crying and motioning our direction. "SHE'S A BABY! HOW COULD YOU!?"

"The stiff deserved it!" Peter fights back, I walk away from Mara and head towards Peter and Drew.

"Then take it out on me Peter! Not my kids!" I shout, grabbing his collar angrily and throwing a punch at his jaw.

"Bitch." Peter whispers, straining against his handcuffs.

"No Peter, Tris is being a mother. You are being a criminal. I never want you to be around our child." Molly turns and walks away, Peter calling her name in a futile attempt to get his girl back.

"Tris!" Chris calls my name, I turn and run back to where people crowd, shoving my way to my daughter and collapsing back by her side. "Four told me how you found her. Look I can't be sure until we test it but with the vomit and bleeding she may have an STD, especially if 4 guys were involved with her-"

"Please don't say it. Just help her." I beg, shaking my head to avoid tears and grabbing Mara's hand again. Chris nods to the doctors with the stretcher and takes the neck brace, adding it around Mara's neck and going to her feet.

"On 3 Frank." Chris says as he cradles her head.

"1, 2, 3." They lift her and place her down carefully, Frank and the other doctor take one end of the stretcher and head for the doors. I rush after them with Tobias right behind me, racing down the stairs and making our way to the infirmary. "Surgery gentlemen, I'll call the other doctors while you get her prepped." Chris nods for them to go ahead while she went to her office. Minutes later Chris came out while other doctors appeared and walked to the operation room.

"Chris please save Mara." I whisper, clutching the arm of my friend.

"Of course Tris. She's not going anywhere. I call you guys the minute she's in recovery." Tobias and I nod, I release her arm and she hurries off to be with Mara. I turn in Tobias' grip on my arm and press my face into his bare chest.

"We only go up from here." Tobias whispers into my hair, pecking it softly while swaying us back and forth.

"Mom!" I turn my head and see our kids and friends run in. "What happened, where is she?" Phoenix asks rapidly, looking past Tobias and I quickly.

"Mara is in surgery, we don't know what's wrong exactly but it might be a while." I answer with a sniffle.

"Mom," Ezra catches my attention and I realize that he is home early from school. "Why was Mara only wearing Dad's shirt?" He asks, I wish the kid didn't look at things with that kind of detail.

"Because she wasn't wearing anything when we found her." Tobias explains, most of our friends cover their mouths in disbelief.

"Will she be okay?" Phoenix asks skeptically, tears running down her cheeks.

"I don't know." I say tightly, "All I can tell you is that things are about to get a lot harder for her."

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	57. Chapter 57- Deserved Love

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 57  
Deserved Love

I laid on the couch in the infirmary, my legs propped up while Tobias ran his fingers over my hair which coated his lap.

"What time is it?" I ask groggily, rubbing my eye which burns from crying and sleep deprivation.

"2am. She's been in there for almost 15 hours now." Tobias tells me, moving his hand from my hair and down my back. "Do your knees still hurt?" he asks, I still see the blood stains on my jeans.

"No." I answer simply.

"You should sleep. You've been up a long time." Tobias recognizes but I refuse.

"No, not until I know Mara is okay." I protest.

"Fair enough."

"Tris, Four." I look up to see a very tired and bloodied Chris. Her eyes scream exhaustion and she seems drained of all energy. I sit up and rise warily; Chris approaches faster and presses me back onto the couch. "You might want to stay seated for what I'm about to tell you." She says, my stomach feels like stone. Chris eyes her hands before looking at me with wet eyes. "Mara fought with all the power her body could produce, she wanted to live and that's what probably saved her. She's in a healing coma, her injuries are to extreme and would cause her too much pain if she were awake. Her body brings on this coma and once she seems healthy enough she will wake up naturally. 9 broken ribs, the other 3 are bruised. Her right arm is fractured and she has immense blood lose and infection on her left collar bone. It seems to be that her tattoo was sliced off intentionally, possibly as a torture. One of her ribs punctured her right lung causing it to collapse so we have her on an inflator much like the tube we inserted in Damien. She will have it in for a 2 weeks but it will take 6-8 weeks to heal entirely. She has a stab wound on her left side, we cleaned it out, stitched it up and now have 8 stitches to hold it. Her head cracked on the floor so we stapled that shut with 3 staples. She has a fever of 106 and is sweating a lot but shivering immensely." I can hardly process this, but I'm sure there is more to be told.

"What did they do to her?" Tobias seethes, attempting to rise only to have Chris pull him back down.

"Just a little more. This is the worse part. They did rape her, all 4 guys, but she has no STD's of AID's, which is good. They did a lot of damage to her vaginal walls though, and her uterus was destroyed."

"Don't tell me." I say, dreading the next words to possibly leave her mouth.

"Mara will never bare children. We attempted to salvage her uterus but it's not going to happen, she will not be able to have kids."

"My poor baby." Tobias mumbles in shock, his eyes not looking anywhere in particular as tears ran down his cheeks.

"Chris I want to see her." I say, shaking my head rapidly and sniffling my tears back.

"She's in intensive care. No family allowed for 2 days due to high infection. I can't break those rules guys, it's for her own good. Go home and sleep, I and the other doctors will keep careful eyes on her." Chris rises but Tobias and I refuse to move. "Please, Mara is in our hands. We can't have you guys hanging around here." Chris reasons, motioning around the waiting room.

"Fine. Please call us if something happens." I say, rising with Tobias and hugging his side sleepily.

"Of course, now go." Chris shooed us away and we stalked home, sleep deprivation and all other forms of stress being washed away with the pain of what we heard.

We enter the apartment quietly, Tobias leaving my side to go to the kitchen. I hear the tap and cabinets open and close. My body forces itself to turn left instead of right to my room. I reach the last door on the left and open the shut door.

Her untouched bed, perfect placed pink blanket from the first day we got her, and her bunny all came in sight. I walked forward hesitantly and crawled onto the small bed, grabbing the blanket and bunny and placing my head on her lavender smelling pillow. I began to sob into her pink blanket.

"Tris?" Tobias peeked into the room. "Tris, baby, she's safe now." Tobias promises me, kneeling by the bed and stroking my hair.

"She'll never hold her own baby. She'll never know how it feels to love a child." I say with pain covering each word.

"She can adopt a child. And not everyone needs kids to be happy. She will be content with a husband alone." Tobias attempts to convince me.

"It's not the same. A child deserved her love, now she can never share it." I say pitifully.

"We'll worry about that when the time comes. For now let's rest and conquer tomorrow with our heads high." Tobias lulls me off the bed, I hold onto him all the way to our bedroom. I change and climb into bed, it still was un-made from this morning. Tobias came in after me, clicking the lights off and turning to face me. He covered my hand with his and began to whisper something.

"You need to sleep." He told me, watching my red eyes.

"I'm scared." I whisper.

"Of what?" Tobias asks.

"The nightmares." I say worriedly.

"C'mere." Tobias pulled my body into his chest and kissed my head. "The nightmares won't hurt you if I'm here." He promises. I compile to his offer and close my eyes, inhaling the scent on his shirt and finally falling into a black pit of sleep.

~.~.~

When the second day of having Mara in the infirmary came I was eagerly waiting to be with her. That is until Tobias came to find me, his features were tense and that caused me to tighten in fear.

"Erudite is dealing with the two involved with Mara's kidnapping. We need to be present for Drew and Peter's hearing." Tobias tells me, his nostrils flaring in discomfort.

"Do we have to go?" I ask, looking to my phone because Chris promised to call when Mara was stable.

"Yes, I'm afraid so." Tobias nods distastefully and offers me a hand.

"Okay." I say reluctantly, rising from our couch and taking his hand. He lets go of mine and wraps it around my body.

"I need you to make sure I don't do anything rash, like kill them when we see them." Tobias says as we make our way down the halls.

"I'll hold you back." I promise, kissing his arm and focusing to our steps down the stairs. "What if Chris says that we can see Mara while we are in there?" I ask, the phone in my pocket feeling like a hundred pounds.

"We won't be long. We just have to listen to the laws final punishment." He says.

"What about the school? They let our daughter go with complete strangers." I say in remembrance.

"The school was convinced that Mara's "Uncle Caleb" was picking her up. He knew all the right things to say and they thought nothing of it. Mara is however exempted from all obligated school days until we all feel it is safe for her to go back."

"So she won't have to complete grade one?" I ask confusedly.

"School is just a pass by until the kids become full citizens. Parents ted to keep their kids out of the system so they can learn the basic and mainly faction laws. Mara only has to go if she wants."

"Okay." I say solemnly, stopping at the court doors.  
"Together Tris." Tobias promises, opening the doors and leading me to our appropriate seats. Molly sits on the other side with a few other friends of Drew and Peter. Damien and another cop stood by the convicts while Phoenix and Georgina sit behind us. It seems that both were read their crimes and the state of our daughter, now the punishment was all that was left.

"We as Dauntless use our powers for good, not evil. Idiocy and Bravery are divided by a very fine line that you two men have obviously crossed. A life could have been lost due to your actions, had the girl passed we might consider a persecution but due to the circumstances I will be commending the two of you life in custody. The child in, which Molly will conceive will not require the knowledge of you being the father, Peter. Are there any objections to these punishments?" No one dares to speak, so the judge continues. "It is settled then, life in prisoner for your sick crimes." A gavel hit down on the table and Tobias rose swiftly, his anger obviously overtaking everything. I rose with him and instantly began to drag him from the room.

"Don't do anything you will regret." I warn Tobias, feeling the rugged muscles in his tense arms.

"We need to go see Mara. Before I beat the life out of those dirty mongrels." I instantly understand his need for escape so I walk forward, his hand in mine as I grip it enough for him not to escape. We head for the infirmary, I knew Chris called because my phone buzzed in my pocket during the declaration of Peter and Drew's punishment.

"We're here to see Mara Rose Eaton. Tobias and I are her parents." I tell the new receptionist whom I've never seen before.

"Mara was just moved from intensive care to room 10. 5th door on your left." The receptionist informs us, I nod and continue to pull Tobias with me. When we get to the door I touch the knob, grasping it with a firm hand and finally opening the door.

Tubes and wires consumed the small girl in bed. Her black hair was prominent in the mess but her skin was as pale as the sheets, no longer fair the way I remember. A light blanket was draped over her legs and as I approached even more I noticed the sweat that has clotted through her gown and blanket.

Chris entered after us with a bowl of water and cloth.

"Her fever still runs high." She informs us, taking a seat next to the bed and beginning to wipe the forehead of Mara. I see the tube put down her throat and the nubbins up her nose providing oxygen. When I take my seat opposite of Chris on Mara's right I lift the blanket quickly to see the tube cut into her side. An IV is attached to her right hand, a blood transfusion on her left and a heart monitor connected to her chest. Beeping resonated in the room and the occasional slosh of water as Chris continued to wipe Mara's face.

"How is she?" I finally ask, my fingers aimlessly stroking the only untouched skin on her upper arm.

"Stable, the coma is light since she has nightmares and whimpers in her sleep. I hope she stays a sleep for at least a month though because the pain she is enduring is quiet immense, it would be very hard for her to deal with it awake."

"Since it's light she'll wake up right?" Tobias asks hopefully.

"Very high chances that she will." Chris smiles dabbing the cloth around Mara's eyes.

"We saw one of the Erudites about to inject Mara with something before we arrested him. Any idea what it was?" Tobias remembers, Chris' eyes seem to lose a little light.

"Nothing life threatening. Just a sleeping drug, one of the Erudite admitted that Mara would scream so they had to keep her quiet for the other Abnegation." Chris says, she slows with her dabbing and finally ceases to doing it. She rises from her chair and places the bowl down on the bedside table. "I'm going to go and get her medication. Give me 10 minutes." Chris leaves the room so I rise and take her seat. Mara's arm isn't casted like her right but there is a bloodied wire covering her hand. She begins to flinch in her rest and whimpers like Chris said she does, my heart aches for the want to hug her comfort her. I forget about the needle and take her hand in mine and begin to run two fingers up and down the length of her arm. And then I start humming, soon words follow and I'm singing a song. Mara's whimpers slowly vanish along with her twitching.

"It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

This innocence is brilliant

Makes you wanna cry

This innocence is brilliance

Please don't go away

Cause I need you now

And I'll hold on to it

Don't you let it pass you by."

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**-Valentina **


	58. Chapter 58- I Know She Can Hear Me

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 58  
I Know She Can Hear Me

"Sorry Tris, we need to switch out her tube again." Frank approaches, my head rising from where it laid by Mara's arm. An assistant doctor followed warily, offering me a smile, which I weakly returned. "This is my trainee, Lily. She's going to be helping me today." Frank says, motioning to the girl and grabbing Mara's chart.

"She's been making good progress. Her fever may not leave until she can wake up and produce the right anti-bodies but her lung is making amazing progress. We might be able to remove the tube next week." Frank smiles, I allow one genuine one to leave my lips.

"You remember from last week how the tube removal works. Some gagging, a little vomit, Lily is going to be here to help me prop her up and hold her head."

"Okay," I say sleepily, still groggy from the nap I was awoken from. Frank puts back her charts and goes to the medicine cabinets, sliding it open and extracting a few boxes. One was holding gloves, the other a tube, and the last one tape. A bottle of lubricant followed along with a set of scissors. Lily and Frank wash their hands and snap on some gloves, Lily comes to my side and I move back for her so she can begin propping Mara up. Mara's head falls back but Lily holds her up, taking the bucket and cloth on the floor. She tucks the bucket on Mara's lap and wraps the towel over her chest for the vomit that has yet to come.

"Okay Lily I need you to angle her head so her chin is pointed upward. Once the tube come out then you can tilt it forward and allow the vomit to come out." Lily obliges, tilting the head of Mara back and repositioning her hands. Frank begins to pick the tape off of her face, finally balling it up and dropping it in the trashcan by his feet. He grabs the beginning off the tube and begins to pull, moving her hands down every time he got to far from her mouth. The tube was sticky looking and slide out rather quickly, allowing Frank to drop it in the trash can and change his gloves while Lily titled Mara's head forward to mix of vomit and saliva fell into the bowl. She wiped the residue and pulled her head back up while Frank cut the new tube and lubricated the part going in.

This took longer to put back in, Frank kept glancing at her heart rate, which dropped exponentially because her oxygen tube wasn't giving her enough air alone. He finally got the tube in place and re-taped it around her mouth before switching the appropriate machine back on and snapping his gloves off. Lily cleared the area efficiently and was ready t leave.

"Thank you, Lily." I say with a smile of gratitude. Frank waved her off and returned to me to finish replacing Mara's empty IV.

"How much longer do you think she'll be asleep for?" I ask, remember the last three weeks that past slowly and her fourth week starting as of yesterday.

"Hard to say. Honestly I think that after the quick procedure to remove the tube from her side she might wake up. She'll be in a lot of pain if she does, her ribs are still hurt and of course this fever is even stronger than the kinds us adults get. She's lucky. Not many kids can make it through something like that and come back alive, especially with the severity of her injuries." I nod and begin to wander with my eyes. I wasn't in the mood to watch Frank removed the IV bag and set up a new one with all her medication. My hands lift the lightly sweat covered blanket to check how her hospital gown is holding up. Just like every 6 hours it was covered in dark wet patches.

"Mind if I change her again?" I ask, rising from my chair.

"Go ahead, you know where to get the cloth, bowl, and gown." Frank nods for me to go and retrieve them, I quickly kiss Mara's hand and leave the room.

"Hi Tris." A nurse smiles.

"Hi Angie." I offer her a quick wave as we walk past one another.

"Sorry to invade Darla, I'm just here to get Mara a new gown." I say, entering the room of washers and dryers. Darla runs the night shift at the front desk every other week and the laundry room in those weeks in between.

"Go right ahead Tris. Here I might have a small one." Darla rummages through a pile of fresh clothing and tosses me the gown.

"Thanks." I smile, unfolding the small gown to find that it is Mara's size. I grab a simple hand towel from a nearby drawer and search the room for bowls.

"Does she need any new blankets?" Darla lifts the same light cotton sheet that covers Mara.

"I think she's good. Thanks though." I turn back for the door and quickly snatch one of the many bowls that sat on a cart. Once back in Mara's room I notice Frank hanging up the newly applied IV bag.

"Well my work is done here. Is Four coming by?" Frank asks me, I nod as the bowl fills with cold water.

"He had to go back to work, Max's orders. He said he'll come back after is served and will bring us something to share." I say, turning the tape off and walking back to Mara's side.

"Alright well call me back if anything is wrong. Chris is taking the day off, I think she caught a small cold and doesn't want to infect Mara anymore."

"Okay thanks for letting me know Frank." I wave to him and reach for Mara's gown. Chris suggested to dress her with the buttons on the front so the doctors get better access to her stomach. I unbutton the shoulder button and slide the gown from under her, reaching for the cloth and dousing it in the cold water. I begin to dab her stomach, carefully watching for her left side and collarbone. My eyes train down to her naked bottom and I notice the large bruises on her thighs. It's been weeks and each time I notice them bile wants to crawl up my throat. Just the thought of what those monsters did to my innocent daughter is unforgivable and disgusting. Carefully I run the cloth over her legs and under, wiping away the stickiness her sweat has brought her. Finally I wipe around her neck and her small pale face that has not gained any colour.

"All clean." I whisper. I talk to Mara all the time, I know she can hear me despite being in a coma. I mainly sing though because I know it soothes her whimpering when a nightmare occurs. "Mara, baby, it's been a month. You have to wake up beautiful. I want to see your blue eyes again and I want to hear your pretty voice. Please sweetie, open your eyes." I beg, stroking back her black hair. No response came from her so I proceeded to dress her in the gown and place the blanket over her legs.

I sing again and allow my light song to resonate through the room. Her heart monitor was washed away by my sound, much to my happiness.

After a few songs I loom over to the door, it was being open by someone.

"Hi." I smile when I realize Tobias is the one peaking his head in.

"Hi Tris. How is she?" Tobias nods to Mara and comes in all the way, shutting the door behind him.

"Fine, Frank changed her tube and IV. I also just washed her." I say, pointing to the bowl on the sink edge. Tobias quickly glanced and then approached me the rest of the way.

"The cafeteria was serving burgers and fries." He says, lifting the white container slightly and taking the seat next to me.

"Did you eat?" I ask him, popping the top off an having my question answered by the sight of two burgers.

"No, I just picked up and brought it here to eat with you." He offers me a lop sided grin and grabs his food. I follow in suit and begin to eat my lunch, my hunger was exponentially larger than usual because I'd missed breakfast and spent most of my time with Mara.

"Thank you." I say after a few minutes of our silence and the sound of the heart monitor.

"For what?" Tobias smirks, looking to me with his mischievous blue orbs.

"For being my rock. I would not be like this if you hadn't been here. Mara may not be ours biologically but I always knew there was something familiar about her."

"That being?" Tobias asks, raising his eyebrow.

"The ability to make everything feel okay even if it isn't. Mara does that, and so do you. It's like two strong rocks that will soften to catch you and then harden to protect you." I say, laughing at the thought.

"Anything for my girl." Tobias grabs my hand and rubs a circle over the top of it. I kiss him for a precious moment, a perfectly sound moment that drowned the heart monitor and the fact that my daughter was breaking my heart every time I looked at her.

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**-Valentina **


	59. Chapter 59- Coughing and Gagging

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 59  
Coughing And Gagging

Chris was the one pushing Mara's bed back into her room after the short hour long procedure to extract the tube from her side.

"How did it go?" I ask, rising from my chair and watching Chris lock the bed into place while the other doctors ushering her monitors parked them next to the be.

"Perfectly fine. Her lung is working very effiently, it may take another 4 weeks before it is 100% though. If all looks good we might want to take her off the endotracheal tube, maybe the oxygen tank would suffice. We'll know by tomorrow. She's not that broken anymore Tris, a few more pieces and she will be perfectly whole." Chris runs a hand over my arm and wipes my tears quickly.

"Sorry," I say sniffling my tears back. "I just want her to wake up. It's been 5 weeks and nothing."

"She'll come around, don't worry." She pulls me into a strong hug and I cry into the chest of my best friend. She might still be in doctor mood but I don't have Tobias here and I need someone to hold me. "Trust me Tris. She's being such a strong fighter." Chris kisses my head and pushes me back softly.

"Okay." I smile between tears, watching her strong hazel eyes and releasing her.

"Good now, her ribs are almost healed. The 3 bruised ones are no longer bruised and only 6 remain broken. The cracks seem larger than expected. If they don't heal by themselves in another 4 weeks we will operate and mend them manually."

"How's everything else?" I ask.

"Her collar bone is healing, slowly of course but the infection is going away. The bruising between her legs has disappeared as well as most of her other bruises. And her left side laceration has no more stitches, just a scar. Her fever dropped by one degree but I'm afraid she needs to wake up for her body to fight it off. And for her uterus, I did a quick ultrasound to make sure all was well. Thankfully she doesn't need a bag for bodily fluids but she still has no future hope of conception."

"Okay." I whisper painfully, looking to Mara. "Tobias says how she will learn to accept the fact that someone took away her ability to have children but I think otherwise. Mara is forgiving but I wouldn't blame her for hating the mongrels that stripped her off her possible future."

"She'll make a new future. One that doesn't involve making children but much rather adopting." Chris says. I inhale sharply and rub my eyes, now Chris doesn't understand what I mean like Tobias.

"At school when the girls reach the age of 15 they are taken from the room and asked what their most cherished belonging is," I begin to explain. "Most will say inanimate objects but they are corrected saying something only you can control. They will tell you that it would be their virginity. Their purity. Most girls are careless and hand it over to the first guy that asks for it, others want to protect it, wait for the right guy and the right moment to finally give it away. Phoenix works that way, she's admitted to me that she waiting and that she's scared to make a mistake. I can't speak for Mara but imagine how she'll feel in the future when they have that conversation. She'll know that someone took her's without permission, that someone would torture her innocent 6 year old self for their own pleasure. She'll be devastated and now we add the fact that she will never have kids. Tell me how everyone expects her to feel okay with that."

Chris stands silently, tears welling up in her eyes.

"She's a baby, only 6 and those people had the audacity to take pleasure in her emotional and physical destruction." I say pitifully, tears now running both our cheeks.

"I get it. She's not going to get through this easily, especially with everyone insisting she will be fine. But you seem to understand very well how she'll feel. She'll need you the most and it may not mean that she will be okay but it does mean that she has a confident." Chris finally says, pulling me back in for a final hug before her buzzer beeped and flashed blue.

"I need to go. Emergency." Chris sniffles back her tears and wipes mine before running for the door and heading down the hall. I go to my regular seat by Mara and begin to explain her importance to me.

"Mara Bear, remember how you'd hold my hand baby. I want you to hold mine back, I miss it when you'd squeeze it because you wanted me to dance with you down the hallways. We'd twirl and you'd sing a song, the same gorgeous song about the sun. We need to see the sun together Mara, your siblings and daddy will come and we'll all go to the meadow. You've never seen it and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry you haven't seen it and that you haven't been able to dance in the tall grass. Please baby, it's me mommy! I'm begging you to wake up for me. To squeeze my hand again and to let me see your twinkling eyes. Your perfect twinkling eyes that daddy says shine like the stars. You're our star, our beautiful star."

~.~.~

"I'd say the tube can go. No use in keeping the girl connected to useless cables. The less dependent her body is to the machinery the sooner she'll wake up." Chris and Frank converse, Lily stood by and analyzed Mara's charts.

"Okay but if she begins to struggle with breathing the tube goes back in." Chris negotiates, Frank nods to her agreement.

"Fine, Lily mind setting up Mara?" Frank asks, Lily placed the charts down and washed her hands, grabbing gloves and coming to my side. Tobias and I moved for her as I stayed tucked under his arm. I remember the standard procedure and watched as the tape was peeled off. Chris disconnected the tube from the oxygen pump, pushing it to the corner of the room and getting some gloves on herself.

"Careful, we don't want any damage to her throat." Chris warns, grabbing the trashcan and taking the ball of tape.

"How large is this tube?" Lily asks inquisitively.

"3cm both ways, we usually only use a 2cm but her breathing was acting weird after we removed the tube from her side so we decided to push more air at a time." Frank explains, snipping the tube off near Mara's mouth and dropping the clean piece in the trash. He grabs the start of the tube and begin to glide it from Mara's throat. Tobias pressed me closer to his side at the sound of gagging and the sight of the vomit covered tube coming from her mouth.

"Almost done here." Frank warns Lily, he gives one last glide and Lily instinctively tilted Mara's head forward so vomit and saliva could fall in the bowl.

Tobias turned away in repulsiveness but snapped his head back at the sound of coughing and gagging.

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**-Valentina**


	60. Chapter 60- Scary Words For Little Girls

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 60  
Scary Words For Little Girls

Sobs, they were painfully cried and covered by gagging and vomiting but to me it felt like the first cry of a baby. My little girl was awake, she was vomiting and crying all by herself. Due to the lack of food in her body she stopped vomiting quickly allowing Lily to wipe her mouth and move the bucket away along with the trashcan. Mara then became frantic with what was around her. She attempted to tear her IV from her hand, she screamed when Frank tried approaching. Her hands grasped the cables of her heart monitor and she teared the tabs from her chest, the beeping now going flat

"Mara." I say frantically, walking to her trembling side and taking the shaking hand of my little girl. "Shh baby it's okay. Mommy and Daddy are right here. It's okay sweetie." She looked to me with pained eyes and extended her shaking arms to me.

"Can I?" I ask Chris quickly.

"Go ahead." Chris said as tears fell down her cheeks. I picked Mara off the bed and sat down where she laid. She pressed her head into my neck and sobbed, not a word was spoken from anyone.

And that's how we stayed, Mara cried for a solid 4 hours before falling asleep on my chest.

"I'm surprised she can sleep after spending weeks in a coma." Tobias says, stroking the hair of Mara as he sat next to the bed.

"She's sleeping to avoid the memories." I say knowingly, pressing my cheek into her hair and running my fingers over her skin. Just as Tobias and I speak Mara begins to stir once again, lifting her clenched fists and running them over her eyes.

"Hi baby." I whisper, her body attempting to curl only to straighten out once again because of her ribs. Mara looks up to me with her still blue eyes and points to her throat. Frank said her throat would hurt a lot because of the tube.

"I know it hurts sweetie, you don't have to speak. I love you very much, I'm sorry that this happened. I'm sorry that I broke my promise." My tears run down my cheeks and Mara's eyes suddenly sadden. She lifts her taped IV hand and runs it over my cheek, wiping away the tears. I smile through the tears and press my lips onto her forehead.

"My sweet angel." Tobias whispers proudly, Mara turns her head so her cheek is pressed on my chest and stares at Tobias. He gives a small grin and Mara extends a hand to him, he grasps it and begins to cry himself. "You're safe now, no one can hurt you anymore." He says, pressing his forehead to her hand and kissing it repetitively. Mara closes her eyes in satisfaction but doesn't sleep, I could tell by the way her other hand gripped my shirt and twisted the fabric. I press the nurse calling button on the side of the bed and wait for Chris to come and check on her.

"Finally someone woke up our sleeping beauty." Chris smiles, entering the room with Frank at her tail. "How're you feeling pumpkin?" Chris asks, stroking back Mara's hair and looking into her eyes. Mara points to her throat and immediately grabs my shirt again.

"Yeah I know your throat doesn't feel good." Chris says, nodding sympathetically and standing up straight again.

"Tris mind flipping her over so we can do a quick examination?" Chris asks me, I oblige and ease Mara so her back is against my chest. Tobias takes her new hand now and Mara grips my shirt without a second thought.

"Okay Mara, do you mind if we put your heart monitor back on first?" Frank asks, Mara cringes away when he approaches.

"Sweetie, Frank won't hurt you." I promise, pointing the saddened man. Mara shakes her head at a negative note and presses against me.

"That's okay, Chris can do it." Frank said, handing Chris the tabs and stepping back. Chris unbuttoned the first 4 buttons of Mara's gown and pressed the tabs back into place making the beeping proceed. "Good, now for your temperature. Just put this under your tongue." Chris says, pulling up the thermometer and exposing the stick.

Mara shook her head and turned it away from Chris, pursing her lips in an attempt to not allow that into her mouth. Her heart monitor accelerated and she was obviously not willing to do anything that made her uncomfortable.

"That's okay, here can I use the one in your ear?" Chris asks, Mara nods so I slip her hair back behind her ear while Chris grabs the different thermometer. It takes a few seconds and then we hear the beep in which Chris removes the thermometer and says the temperature for Frank to write down: "104.7."

She pulled out a light and shined it in Mara's eyes, watching as her pupils dilated appropriately.

"Mara your mommy is going to take you for a bath okay? I'm going to disconnect you for a few minutes alright?" Mara agrees and watches as her IV is disconnected leaving her with the needle still taped around her hand. Chris flipped the heart monitor off after writing down the numbers projected and swiftly checked her oxygen tank.

"Another hour or less before we need to switch this tank." Chris tells me, I nod and sit up with the assistance of Tobias.

"I'm going to go and get you some food, Princess. I love you lots." Tobias pressed his lips on Mara's hot forehead and tickled her toes before leaving the room with Frank in tow.

"Need help?" Chris asks.

"No, I think I've got it. She may talk to me if we were alone." I say quietly, looking to the bundle in my arms.

"Okay, pull the chain by the light for any assistance." I nod and walk with the tank in one hand and Mara in my other.

I knew Mara wouldn't speak right away so instead I sing.

I flip the tap on and feel for the water temperature. It felt good on my skin so I plug the drain and turn to my sleepy eyed daughter.

"Arms up." I say, she lifts them I slide the gown over her head, not bothering with the buttons. I proceed with the song and lift Mara into the tub; she sits down and covers her legs slightly. I sigh lightly knowing she's uncomfortable.

"Is the water good?" I ask her as she swishes it between her fingers. She nods and peers up at me with her pained orbs.

"My Raven." Were the only words I heard her croak out in the raspiest, quietest voice I've ever heard. I took a double take, glancing at her with eyes that held every emotion I've felt that day. My throat closed up and I thought I would never be able to answer until I felt her wet hand touch my last raven on my collarbone

I guess I knew what she meant, what I couldn't understand was how she knew. Ever since Mara went missing I never used the nickname "Little Raven" because it was too hard. Mara noticed the absence of the name and was trying to tell me that she missed it. Tears filled my eyes and I nodded.

"Yes My Little Raven, I still call you that." I say with a small smile. I notice the glint of happiness in her pained eyes but it vanished under her barrier of sadness. I shake the thought out of my head that Mara probably heard us while in a coma and proceeded with singing, starting a new song about the sun rising.

"He stepped on me." Mara's words cut through the lyrics and once again I stopped the running water to make sure I heard her right.

"Who stepped on you baby?" I ask, cupping her cheek, which now felt like ice under my hand.

"Ian. He stepped on my tummy." She points to the scars on her stomach, which Chris assumed were from being dragged. It turns out it was boot imprints.

"Oh baby. What else did they do?" I ask worriedly, already knowing most of the stories.

"I was hooked up to cables." She gestured to her head, just after her hair line starts by each ear. I move the hair and notice two red burn marks, now they are scars as well. "I saw scary things." This must be her fear landscape for her Divergence testing. "They would put things in me. I screamed and Drew cut me with a knife." She points to her left hip and allows her tears to fall; I suck mine back to be brave for her. "Don't let them come back for me!" She pleads, her tears running down her face faster as she frantically watched me.

"Oh Mara, no one will ever do those things to you again. Not with me around." I say, cupping her head and pressing her into my chest. I didn't care that she was wet and only half rinsed of her shampoo. I held her and allowed her to cry until her tears ran dry and she went back to swishing the water quietly.

"Mommy?" I press her back slightly and look at her eyes.

"Yes my little raven." I say, allowing her to proceed.

"I didn't want to be scared. I tried to be brave, like you. I did what you did to Drew, I tried to beat him up." She explains, showing her arm that was now resting in a brace for percussion. "He broke my arm but I didn't cry. I only cried when they really hurt me."

"You're so brave Mara, so, so brave!" I whisper, hugging her again and allowing my own tears to roll down my cheeks.

"My tattoo made me brave, I knew you were there making me strong." She mumbled into my shirt, gripping the end with white knuckles.

"I promise once you get better we will get you a new raven." I say, reassuring her that not all is lost.

"Okay." She nods and I resume with her washing. I run a wet cloth over her ribs so I don't hurt them more than necessary. When she was finally clean I unplugged the drain and picked her from the tub. She easily allowed me to embrace her in the towel and carry her back to her bed. She sat in her towel since her gown was sweat soiled.

"Daddy will get you a new gown when he gets back." I promise, kissing the crown of her head and beginning to brush through her black curls. The ringlets begin to form naturally, her hair was lifeless while she slept, I couldn't help the smile that came across my face when I noticed the life coming back.

"All done." I say, pressing the nurse button and pulling Mara back so she is lying between my legs with her head against my chest.

"Well Miss Rose, I'm glad to see you're all cleaned up." Frank says, entering the room with her new gown that I never remember asking for. "Thought you might want a new one after getting cleaned up." He said, offing it to Mara who took it carefully.

"Thank you." She whispered, handing it to me and allowing me to slide it over her front and button the back up.

"I'm cold." She whispered to me, I nod and grab her towel. Enveloping her in the cloth and pressing her closer to me I sighed in satisfaction that she was really here.

"Do you mind?" Frank asks Mara, holding up the IV tube that needed to be added again. She offered her hand but he didn't grasp it knowing her wariness towards men. He simply took the end of her tube and clipped them together.

"Looks like someone has brought a very luck girl some dinner." Frank nods to the door and Tobias enters with a paper bag of food. He smiles at us and takes the seat next to the bed.

"Lucky day little girl, guess what they were serving?" Tobias asks.

"What was it daddy?" She asks scratchily, Tobias looked about ready to cry when he heard her call him daddy for the first time in months. He swallowed the feeling though and proceeded to reveal the surprise.

"Biscuits and Gravy. Last I remember this was the only food you'd really eat entirely." Tobias grins and pulls the box from the bag, opening it to reveal the biscuits covered in the creamy chicken gravy. Mara excitedly took it from him and said a small thanks before taking a fork and grabbing a bite. She ate it without a problem, not even bothering to care about the pain in her throat.

What didn't surprise me was the way she rejected the food after only 4 bites. After nearly 2 months on no food she was bound to feel off to certain foods, this being one.

"Bucket." She whispers, Tobias quickly grabbed the one from under the bed and held it up for her. She was violently sick and cried from the burn of acid against her scratched up throat.

"All done?" Tobias asked when she only cried and spit the leftovers from her mouth. She nods so I wipe the residue of her mouth and toss the tissue away. Tobias packs away her food to avoid the smell making her sick again and placed the bag in the mini fridge on the other side of the room.

"Sorry." Mara weakly tells us once Tobias is seated once again. Tobias smirked and stroked back her hair.

"No need to be sorry about getting sick." Tobias reassured.

"But-" Mara begins to explain but I shush her.

"Shh baby, rest. You need to get better and talking won't help. Sleep now little raven, we won't let you go." I promise as Tobias grasps her hand and kisses each knuckle.

"We love you." Tobias adds, I nod and smile at him. Mara yawns and turns her head into my chest, snuggling further into the towel.

"I love you too." She says softly, sighing in contentment before drifting into sleep.

"Tris we need to talk about something." Tobias says once Mara is fast asleep.

"What?" I ask quietly, running my fingers up and down Mara's exposed arm.

"Ezra found me while I was getting dinner for you guys and began to panic slightly. He was in near tears with the fear of my reaction to what I was about to say. I had to take him out and calm him down before he managed to tell me that he got frustrated while doing science homework and chucked his book at the wall of his room." A small smirk appeared on Tobias' lips and I cut off his words.

"Tobias that's not funny!" I demand. "Is he alright, did he get hurt? Maybe you should go home and make sure he feels okay, the poor boy has issues with dealing with frustration alone. God all of his homework must be getting to him. Those damn teachers, they know it's hard on him what with his dyslexia and Mara being in the hospital. You'd think they put less pressure on him! You need to go to that school-"

"Tris breathe!" Tobias cut off my rant and smirked again. "You never let me finished."

"That makes two of us." I reprehend, he offers his lopsided grin and raises an eyebrow. "Go on." I sigh, still a rant hanging by my lips.

"When he threw the book it sort of cracked the wall." Tobias says.

"Cracked, like a line?" I ask.

"No cracked like a line that broke into more lines that made a whole the size of his head in the wall." Tobias says, I furrow my eyebrows and then purse my lips in an attempt to stop my smile.

"Oh dear," I laugh slightly and shake my head. "That boy, he's got a good arm." I say, covering my eyes with my hand and leaning my head back as more laughs grew in my mouth.

"Very good. I went home and checked it out myself. The place is in perfect condition but the poor wall. He was so worried and was demanding me to get on with the yelling but I began laughing like you did. It was all to funny not to." Tobias says, laughing himself and running a hand over his chin. "I told him to miss school tomorrow and to come see Mara around 12 with Phoe and Damien."

"Good, I miss my big babies." I say, grinning at the thought of their gorgeous faces.

"They look good, I got a quick peek while dropping off Ezra after seeing the wall. Happy opposed to those other times when I was telling them about Mara still being asleep." He says, releasing Mara's hand and taking mine. "Now sleep, I love you." Tobias kissed my hand and leaned back in his chair.

"I love you too." I say, smiling and cuddling down, inhaling the lavender scent that grew around the bed and dreaming of my 4 beautiful children and amazing husband.

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**-Valentina **


	61. Chapter 61- Comfort of Siblings

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 61  
Comfort of Siblings

_**Damien's POV**_

Is it bad to say that temptation was getting me every passing minute? Each moment I thought about my little sister I had the urge to run down to the tracks and to travel to the jail in which those assholes sat for the rest of their lives. They deserved to die for all they did! They destroyed her, they manipulated the child that lived in the body that was now beaten and scared.

"Damien." I turned at the sound of the most beautiful voice. Piper stood awkwardly at the door where my own personal station with 2 others sits. As a beginning police officer I do investigation with Julian and Maria. They were both lucky enough to get assigned to different cases leaving me here all alone while I contemplate murder. In some ways I wish they were here because they usually derailed me from my thoughts and had me focus on other things. I thanked the heavens that Piper was here to distract me at this moment I was most ready to go and allow blood to fall from those sick bastards.

"Hi Pipes." I approach her and notice the pale look to her usually dark skin. "What's wrong?" I ask, feeling my heart accelerate in my chest.

"Mara, she's awake." My heart leaps with excitement opposed to fear.

"What?" I ask frantically, taking her shoulders.

"Mara woke up, she finally woke up!" Piper declared, tears filling both our eyes.

"Oh thank goodness." I whisper, pulling Piper into my chest and hugging her head closely to me.

"My mom said that she can't see anyone until tomorrow and that she's only been crying in your mom's arms." She says, her words muffled against me.

"At least she's awake and crying on her own." I say hopefully, pressing Piper back and cupping her cheeks. "My little Ari will be okay." I say, she nods and I press my lips onto her's.

_**Phoenix's POV**_

I was off work today, so was Alex. He noticed my heartache towards Mara being in a coma and didn't want to leave me so he managed to get away from work when I was free. I thanked every moment I had him there to cry on and demand why it had to be my only little sister. The girl who had been through enough now has more weight on her shoulders.

"Her 6th week starts today." I say angrily, lying on Alex's chest while her held my arms.

"She'll come around." Alex tried to promise, I shake my head at a negative note.

"6 weeks Alex. She's been asleep for 6 weeks because of those bastards!" I demand, sitting up swiftly and pointing aimlessly to where those criminals should be.

"Phoe, Love, listen to me." He caught my attention and cupped my chin. "Her body is healing. As soon as her body feels ready she will wake up. This is natural." He attempts to ease my stress.

"This isn't natural. Some sick people brought this upon her god damn it!" I began to cry lightly and covered my eyes with my hands, kneeing them deep into my sockets causing a large light spectacle to erupt in my black vision. The tears began to slow with the pressure and soon I was able to show my eyes, looking at Alex's with great intensity as he stayed propped up on his elbow and his hand tucking my lose curls behind my ear.

"I just don't want to think how badly this is hurting my mom. She's going through hell because she believes that it's all her fault. I hate to see her degrade herself like that."

"Your mom is a very brave and honest woman. She's saying what she believes and not a single word will change that train of thought. You've told me enough, and I've spoken to her enough to know that much." He explains.

"I just wish Mara would wake up already so my mom would stop dwelling over Caleb and Drew and Peter." I say, Alex nods and cups my cheek.

"Mara will wake up and your mom will one day figure out that no matter how many promises she made Mara it was never going to change her kidnapping."

"Okay." I nod and reach for my phone. I noticed a few missed calls since I turned it off and slide the first contact on the top. Shauna's ID showed up and I pressed the phone up to my ear until I heard an answer.

"Phoe, she woke up!" Shauna screeches, a wailing of a baby joins in by the sound of excitement.

"She woke up!?" I ask excitedly, Alex sat up quickly and put a hand on my back.

"Yes baby, she's been crying for a little while but she's awake none the less." I begin to cry and can't manage a reply but I do hear Marlene asking about my reaction. Shauna tells her I'm crying to which Marlene giggles.

"Sammy must be like her because she won't stop crying with you screeching into that phone every ten minutes." Marlene says, Shauna moans and probably offered the middle finger because I heard Marlene gasp and demand, "Not in front of the baby!"

"Shauna can I see her?" I ask after Alex wiped my tears and kissed my cheek.

"Not yet lovely, but Chris said tomorrow she'll allow a few of us to see her. When Chris called I heard Mara crying but it sounded beautiful you know? Like a glorious sound of relief?"

"I know what you mean Shauna. Give Sammy and Mar a kiss for me, I'm going to go and find Ezra."

"Okay sweetie, see you at dinner." Shauna hung up and I turn to Alex. He smiled and I threw my arms around his neck.

"Told you so." He sais smugly, as I laugh and cry into the crook of his neck.

"I'll never doubt you again." I promise, kissing him softly and pulling his hand to go and find Ezra.

_**Ezra's POV**_

I still went to school, I owed that much to mom and dad while they dealt with Mara. The thought of what happened to her makes me feel uneasy but then I catch sight of my homework from yesterday and feel my stomach do a full on flip. It was a Saturday, I was home alone for god knows how many weeks and my homework was getting harder. I never have nor will I ever resent Mara for holding the attention of Mom and Dad. She deserves it, she was hurt beyond repair and if mom and dad need to give her all their attention then I wouldn't dare say a word about feeling lonely here in the apartment. Usually Phoe dropped by but she and Damien work now so I went straight home from the tracks. Shauna offered me to go to their place everyday but I can hardly do my homework as it is, I don't need Izabel there to keep me distracted. She still does my English writing while I speak to her the words but I have the rest to do on my own. Math, Science, History, the ¾ essential grade 1-7 classes along with English. When you get to grade 8 you get more options but Faction History is always a done deal. You can't change that.

Right now science was getting the better of me and my frustration was running pretty damn high. I wanted to run away and do something exciting but I stayed on my swivel chair and attempted to breathe through my aggravation.

"Define Erosion." That did it; I viciously attacked my paper with my sharp pencil. I scraped the desk along with each puncture.

"DAMN HOMEWORK!" I screamed, releasing all the sadness and pain I've felt for the past month or so. "WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO SUCK! GOD, FUCK!" I screamed louder, cursing was never my suit but I felt the relief in using that word. "FUCK SCHOOL! FUCK ALL OF THIS!" I sobbed, chucking my text-book at Damien's wall where he would usually rest his head when lying against his headboard. Had he been here I'd probably have hit him by accident. I snapped the pencil and teared my paper with my hands, grunting angrily between each tear.

"Ezra?" A frantic voice entered the apartment.

"FUCK!" I screamed louder, I heard running and then the door swung open. I was on the floor, already trying to piece my homework together. "Go away!" I demand the 4 feet standing by my pile of paper.

"Ezra what happened?" Pheonix asks frantically, walking away from me and going to where I threw my book. "You idiot look at the wall." She demands, I look up and gape at the hole I've made. I'm in so much trouble.

"Screw the wall." I spit venomously, analyzing each small shred and turning my hands into fists in frustration. "Screw all of this!" I say through clenched teeth, messing up the small progress I made and clutching my head between my two-fisted hands. I sobbed and bent forward, bowing my head and crying into my legs.

"Hey, hey, hey." Alex drops next to me and runs a large hand over my back. "Calm down there Ezra, it's alright." He says calmly, rubbing my back and gathering the paper on the floor.

"No that's my homework!" I sobbed as he dropped it into the metal bin.

"If your teachers don't understand your struggles and haven't realized the family situation then they are blind. You getting your homework done should be your last concern." He says knowingly, I grasp at my hair.

"But I need it so then mom and dad don't think I'm unable to handle myself."

"Well obviously you can't! You got a huge hole in the wall and threw a tantrum. I mean look at the desk. Scratches everywhere! Dad and Mom worked hard for those points to get you that desk!" Phoenix interjects.

"Phoenix, please!" Alex begs, his eyes begging her's to be nice. She breathes out in disgruntles but raises her arms in surrender.

"Fine." She muses, grabbing my book and tossing it on the desk.

"Listen buddy. Your mom and dad won't care if you don't get a few homework pieces done. That's alright, you are doing this alone. You can come to you siblings or I though, I hope you know that."

"But you guys are always working! And everyone is stressing about Mara so I can't tell them about my problems with homework." I say tightly, aggravation welling up inside me like a bubble of acid.

"If you called someone they might have helped." He says, I nod in a slight surrender.

"I guess you're right." I say, wiping my eyes with my hands and looking to Phoenix.

"Why are you here anyways?" I ask curiously, getting to my feet with Alex.

"I came to tell you that Mara woke up. We get to see her tomorrow." Phoenix looked as if she wanted to explode with happiness but made do with a grin. My lopsided grin appeared and before thinking it through I hugged Phoenix tightly. She hesitated, probably thinking I was attacking her but soon she wrapped me in her hug and kissed my head, which was an only mere inch taller than her 5"3. Someone knocked on the door so Alex left to get it. When he returned Piper and Damien were with him.

"You heard?" He asked Phoenix and I. Phoenix nodded for us and laughed through her tears. Damien began crying like she and I and soon hugged us both. We held each other and cried, and laughed at our foolish states.

~.~.~

After dinner that night I began to walk down the hallways with my siblings and friends, I was ready to turn the appropriate corner by myself while the others went for the stairs but suddenly found two other people beside me. Damien and Phoenix had both of my sides and were offering smiles like they did when things were good.

"We thought that maybe it was time we came home for a little while. You know take care of our favourite little bro." Damien says, ruffling my hair.

"I'm your only little bro." I say, Phoenix nudged me and giggled.

"That's why you're our favourite." She says. I feel a warmth within me that I've been missing for so long. A feeling of family.

When we got home we all went to the room with a closed door. The room that had it's door located to the left. It's large bed was still made and a light emptiness occupied the room.

"It could use some warming." Phoenix says, sliding off her sweater and kicking off her shoes. She went to mom's drawers and pulled out a pair of pajamas, Damien did the same with dad's and I quickly went for my own. When I returned Phoenix was emerging from the bathroom while Damien was already under the blankets on dad's side. I crawled into the middle and watched Phoenix switch the lamp off and climb into mom's side.

"Good night guys. I love you." I say happily.

"Love you too." Damien says first.

"Love you three." Phoenix smirks.

"Love you Four." We all say ominously, joking around with mom and dad's old joke.

Then a perfect sleep pulled me under between the comfort of my siblings.

* * *

**Well here's the reaction everyone asked for. Damien, Phoenix, and Ezra all gave in their input about Mara waking up. **

**I'm watching Neighbours and it's amazing :) So funny and fabulous, my mom thinks it's awful though. **

**I'm going book shopping in 2 days, so I'm freaking out!**

**So it was asked last chapter why I called it Scary Words for Little Girls. Well the reason was because Mara was describing to Tris what she saw and no child should have to say those things. It's scary and she's to innocent so therefore I named the chapter what I did.**

**How's the story? Do you like it so far?**

**-Valentina**


	62. Chapter 62- Once Reality Catches Up

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 62  
Once Reality Catches Up

_**Tris' POV**_

Mara woke up sobbing, curling in on herself and then reacting to her ribs immediately causing her to scream in agony.

"Get a doctor." I say urgently to Tobias, sitting up slightly and lifting Mara's gown. Her ribs began to bruise immediately and I felt a pang of pain myself. She turned her face into my stomach and sobbed loudly, but attempted to keep the noise level low.

"Mara, baby I know it hurts but you need to breathe. Deep breaths honey, just listen to me." I urge, stroking her hair and avoiding the sight of her dark skinned ribs. "The pain will leave if you stop crying."

"Mama, my side!" She demands, attempting to grab her ribs but I restrain her. If she presses any splinters around her organs can get punctured.

"Baby just listen to me, shh. It won't last very long." I cradle her head and watch her eyes. She breathes shallow breaths but eases her crying, not struggling anymore but still pained by her ribs.

"Hey there Mara, what seems to be the problem?" A doctor enters, his name is slowly coming back to me but it's hard to keep track of the number of doctors that care for her at different times. Especially the late night and early morning doctors since Tobias and I usually slept through her checkups. Tobias is behind him, his hair disheveled from sleep and body rigid from fear of his daughter's well being. He comes back to my side with the doctor and sits in his chair again, stroking Mara's hair and catching her eyes before she finally answers the doctor.

"My ribs." She whimpers, cringing away from the doctor's attempted touch.

"Sweetie I won't hurt you. I need to make sure that you're okay." He reasons, she still hesitates. She shakes her head 'no' and moves the side of the gown that I lifted down.

"Let me see if Marisa can come and check." He says with a sympathetic nod, running from the room and heading left for the doctors' lounge.

"Here, hold my hand when it hurts." I tell Mara, sliding my left hand into hers and feeling the weak grip. She was drained of any energy; I'm surprised she could hold onto me at all.

Soon enough a woman, Marisa, enters and she offers a very weak smile.

"Hey there little lady, what's wrong?" Marisa walks forward, checking Mara's heart monitor with a sullen glance.

"My ribs." Mara explains again, this time she willing allows Marisa to move the gown. Marisa nods at the sight of the bruises and furrows her eyebrows. She carefully prods two fingers at the injury and Mara cries out, shooing Marisa's hand off and sobbing again.

"Oww! Mommy- It- h-h-hurts!" Mara cries loudly, sobs distorting her words and making them choppy.

"I'm sorry, I needed to see the severity." Marisa says, not even bothering to apologize with her eyes on Mara. Instead she was writing notes down on the board and looking at different vials.

"By hurting her even more?" Tobias seethes, I shot him a sullen glare not wanting him and Marisa to bicker until Mara wasn't in pain anymore.

"I think these can use a few x-rays. Just to check for splinters but I think the bruising is from the 6 broken ribs bending in an odd angle. Don't worry I'm sure their cracks haven't grown but just for all safety purposes I'm going to get an x-ray set up." Marisa turned away and bent over an opened cabinet, shuffling through the different vials "Here Mara, why don't you take some pain medicine? It will help make you sleepy so you won't feel it." Marisa offers a vial of blue liquid and Mara shifts uncomfortable, pressing up slightly so her head gets closer to mine. "It will only hurt more if you don't." Marisa reasoned moving the vial a little closer. Mara made an uncomfortable groaning noise and pursed her lips, I felt her sobs rack in strong heaves as she gripped my hand intensly.

"Marisa, she isn't comfortable with that stuff. Please put it away." Tobias says calmly, watching his frantic daughter with dark eyes.

"It's just pain medication. She's only going to feel more pain without it." Marisa argues, Tobias turns his glare to her.

"She isn't comfortable, don't try to damage what little trust she has with any of the doctors by forcing her to do something." His voice was fierce but still not breaking over a regular talking sound.

"Fine, I'll get her some ice but that's all I can offer. The pain will only increase with the day's progression."

"She'll be fine. She's brave." Tobias says back, he waits for Marisa to put away the vial before looking to Mara.

The door opens and closes leaving us alone and Tobias instantly loses his angry demeanor.

"Sorry." Mara whispers, Tobias flinched at her words.

"Please Mara, don't ever apologize for that. You don't feel comfortable so it's my job to make sure you don't have to be forced into doing it. We will never again allow anyone to make you do anything you don't want to do." Tobias takes her right hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. Mara smiles weakly but cringes.

"Sorry about Marisa," The same male doctor that entered first came back in with a bag of ice and a hot water bottle. "She doesn't always have the patience that most doctors should. I could hear part of the conversation outside the room while organizing the x-ray equipment." I noticed the silver gleaming badge on his coat and finally remember his name. Dr. Oliver Brown.

"That's alright, is there any way to get some pain medication in her?" Tobias asks, wiping the cheeks of Mara only to have them soaked once again.

"Only if you, Mara, agree. I can use an injection, are you okay if I put some medicine in your IV to help the pain?" Olvier asks, Mara nods ands offers her IV hand.

"Alright, that's a good girl." Oliver got to work grabbing the appropriate medicine and syringe, injecting it into the appropriate section of the IV and offering either pack to the now calming Mara. She was still crying, breathing rigidly but not sobbing like before.

"How about we ice for 15 and heat for 15? Repeat so she has both packs on at least twice." We nod and Oliver leaves.

~.~.~

We finally got her x-rays, luckily no splinters and the breaks seemed fine aside from them still being broken. Due to her 3am wake up we slept for a few hours until Oliver returned to check her ribs at 11:30. By then I remembered how Damien, Phoenix, and Ezra were coming to see Mara today after lunch. Tobias read to Mara for a while and we managed to get her to eat a small amount of oatmeal, which she managed to keep down with some water.

"Mara, your brothers and sister are coming in a few minutes, do you want me to brush your hair?" I ask, she was a little sleepy but still nodded. I grabbed her brush and ran it through her hair, careful with each ringlet but watching as the sprung back into place as though nothing ran over them.

Three knocks echoed through the room and then they entered. My three kids entered the room with gleaming smiles and a few items at hand.

"Hey Ari." Damien smiled, Mara woke up slightly at his words and offered back a smile.

"We brought you some things." Phoenix says, motioning to Ezra who held Cloud and her pink blanket.

"Cloud!" Mara croaked excitedly, Ezra gingerly placed both items on her legs and smiled.

"We miss you Ari, the house is sort of empty without you there." Ezra says, I can see the glisten of loneliness in his eyes.

"I miss you too Ezzy." Mara chirped, turning to look at Phoenix while she sat beside her feet.

"You look like your hair could use a good braiding." Phoenix giggles, Mara nods frantically, reaching for her sister and dismissing all pain in her ribs.

"Careful with her ribs, 6 are still broken." I tell Phoenix, watching her lift the small girl from my lap and sliding away so she could replace me. I sit on Tobias' lap and incase myself in his arms as we watch our children.

"Aww I miss your hair." Phoenix whimpers, touching each curl excitedly and allowing Mara to mimic her moves but only running her hand the short length that each red curl make.

"Hey Ari?" Damien grasped the attention of his sister.

"Yeah Dami?" Mara lifts her eyebrows.

"I learned this awesome trick at work the other day." Damien begins, smiling as Mara brightens. "See this?" Damien pulls out the shell of a bullet, it's flattened to make a long, thin disk.

"Yeah." Mara nods and watches tentatively. Damien grasps it and moves his hands in a funny maniacal fashion before popping them open again to reveal the shell is no longer hidden there. "Woah." Mara whispers in shock, taking Damien's hands and searching for the shell. "Where'd it go?" Mara asks in bewilderment.

"Behind your ear." Damien says, swiftly untucking a strand of her hair and pulling out the shell.

"Wow!" Mara demands, grabbing the flattened shell and feeling for it authenticity. "How'd you do that?" She asks.

"Magic." Damien winks, sitting back in his chair and taking back the shell from Mara, slipping it into his pocket.

"Magic that caused me to lose a strand of her hair." Phoenix retorts to Damien, undoing the braid and grabbing all her hair once again.

"Lighten up sis, the magician didn't ask for the shell to hide in her ear." Damien defends himself, Mara giggles at their bickering and traces shapes onto the white cloth covering her and Phoenix's legs. Once Phoenix had the braid done she put it over her shoulder.

"Like it?" She asked, Mara ran a hand over the braid and smiled down at it.

"Yeah, thank you Phoe." Phoenix smiled proudly and is about to move the braid back when she catches sight of the marks on her spine. Her fingers run over the 4 red marks that expose where her spine stands out.

I check that Damien and Ezra have Mara indulged in a conversation before speaking quietly.

"They almost broke her back. Her spine punctured the skin slightly and now she has those four blood stains. Time might lighten them but they may never go away." I explain, Phoenix looks ready to cry but quickly moves back Mara's hair when she notices her sister calling her name.

"Yes Ari?" Phoenix leans forward.

"Can we watch a movie?" Mara asks, Phoenix laughs and agrees. Ezra rises to go and find a movie while Damien gets on the bed and requests for Phoenix to allow him to hold her. She slides out from behind and lies back on the end of the bed while Mara rests on Damien chest.

"This movie's called Finding Nemo." Ezra says, crawling into the side left for him next to Mara's left.

We all silently watch the old movie. Mara took great pleasure out of Dori's forgetfulness and it made everyone in the room smile at the sound of her laughter.

"Broken but still there." Tobias whispers to me, wiping my cheeks with his thumbs and kissing my cheek bone.

"Do you really think it'd be this easy?" I ask.

"Of course not, this is a simple distraction for her. Once reality catches up later it won't be easy. I'm just glad to hear her laugh again." He says, watching as another giggle shakes our little girl.

"It sure is."

* * *

**SO SO SO SORRY! It's been days, I know! But I'm in Portland and have awful internet, it's been torturous. **

**Please go check out The Illusion of the Weeping (The Weeping) It's my new Hunger Games fanfic that will only get updated if given 5 reviews from different people.**

**I hope you like this chapter :) comment what you think.**

**-Valentina**


	63. Chapter 63- I Wanted You For Christmas

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 63  
I Wanted You For Christmas

Tobias was already at reception signing Mara out, I was dressing the now, tube free, girl in a pair of sweat pants and a long sleeve.

"Arms up." I say, rolling the top slightly and slipping it over her slender arms.

"I'm happy to go home." Mara chirps, extending her arms to me so I can lift her on my hip.

"So am I little Raven. Especially since it's Christmas tomorrow. Do you have any last requests for Santa?" I ask, wrapping her pink blanket over her shoulders and placing Cloud in between us.

"No, I already got what I wanted." She said with a confident nod.

"And what would that be?" I ask, stepping from the room and walking towards the exit.

"I wanted to go home. And to be with you." Her words were barely a whisper and I noticed the rosie pink colour that stained her cheeks. I kissed her on the rose petal blush and squeezed her into my hip a little tighter.

"My little girl, you've always been so sweet." I say, pressing my nose into her neck and inhaling the lavender.

"All ready ladies?" Tobias asks, his hand holding on to a white paper bag of medication Mara is on. Most are sleeping pills to help her sleep through the night since her dreams are so vivid. But even with the meds she'll wake up screaming "Take it out!"

"Yes we are. How about we leave those pills at home and head out for dinner? You know, give everyone a little Christmas-eve treat." I suggest, allowing Tobias' secure arm to wrap around me and press his lips into my hair.

"Yeah. I want to see my Dami and Phoe! Ezra said he got new stickers and he promised to show me." Mara exasperated, wiggling her sock covered feet in excitement and cuddling into my neck.

"I'm sure he'll bring those by." Tobias says, stroking her hair and smiling a smile I haven't seen in a while. This smile shows freedom, security, and fulfillment. Like Mara's being released has finally freed him from the pain of watching his daughter suffer.

"Alright so before you leave here is the office location and name of her therapist. Every week, for an hour we should have her meet with . First appointment is Friday at 4:30."

"Alright, thanks Frank." He waves us off and we leave the infirmary wing, Mara still nestled into my neck.

"Is Sam big?" Mara asks, remembering the baby from September.

"She's grown quiet a lot. She's sitting up now." I say, watching the blue shine of her twinkling eyes.

"I want to see. How about Thalia!?"

"A very lovely 3 year old as of last month." Tobias said this time, Mara's eyes grew even happier if that was possible.

"Alright little miss happy, rule for dinner: You must eat all your food." Tobias reasons once we enter the apartment and I placed Mara on the floor. Her clothing sagged due to her dramatic weight lose over these few months. Now she wasn't just skinny, she was almost skin and bones. Her hip bones, ribs, chest cavity, spine, shoulder blades and more were all exposed. Tobias felt sick every time her had to bath her because she was so sickly thin.

"But the food makes my tummy hurt." Mara whimpers, sliding her toes under one foot and tugging it back slightly so the sock slips just enough for her to play with the end.

"Sweetie if you don't start eating more the doctors will need to help. Please princess, just eat as much as you can. For your mommy and me." Tobias begged, crouching by her and cupping her shoulder-blade with his whole hand.

"Okay daddy." She agreed, he nodded and pulled her into his embrace. He stood up with her effortlessly and I fixed the sock before we left once again and made our way to the cafeteria.

"What's for dinner?" Mara asks when the smell begins to get stronger as we approach.

"I don't know. It smells good though!" I say, pressing the door open and allowing Tobias in first.

"I'm going to hide so then everyone will be surprised." Mara says, slipping her pink blanket over her head and curling into Tobias. I guess it sort of worked from a distance because her black feet blended into his shirt and the pink blanket could've been covering anything really.

"Hey guys. What'd you got there Four?" Uriah asks, knocking his knee up and down with a small Sam enjoying the motion.

"Nothing." Tobias smirks, everyone eyes him and then notice the twitch of a small foot.

"I think I know!" Izabel calls from their table, Ezra shoved her arm and she scowled at him.

"Surprise!" Mara announced, uncovering herself and looking at both tables.

"Mara!" They all squeal, Phoenix was up first, picking her little sister off of Tobias and squeezing her in a tight hug.

"Let me see the little nugget." Shauna says after Damien got his hug. Mara wrapped herself into Shauna and swayed with delight as her Auntie hugged her.

"How's it hanging kiddo?" Zeke asks, ruffling the black locks of Mara.

"Uncle Zeke!" Mara nearly jumped into his arms and nearly disappeared into his large chest.

"Looks like you've shrunken quiet a lot." He says, laughing to Mara but eyeing Tobias and I with question. I shrug and frown but return to smiling when I watch everyone else get in a hug.

I head to get food for the three of us and walk past a familiar table, this time it's empty and there is no annoying laughter echoing from it. I wonder where Molly went? I cock my head and catch a glimpse of her head rising over the crowd at her table to see the commotion from mine. A quick sight of a bundle in her arms causes me to believe she's already had her child.

"3 servings please." I say to the counter as I watch 3 plates fill with rice, chicken, and peas. They are arranged on a single tray and accompanied by 3 cups of water and the required utensils. I take the tray with a thanks and return to my table, looking for Molly once again but focusing on my daughter once she comes to sight.

Ezra sat next to Tobias as Mara sat on his lap. Ezra showed her stickers and even pressed a dauntless symbol on her little hand before seeing me approach.

"Dinner time." Ezra says, kissing Mara's forehead and rising. I place the tray down and catch Ezra before her runs.

"Hey, did you eat all your food?" I ask, holding his arm as he shakes his head. "What don't you like on that plate?" I ask, smirking at his shrug.

"Peas don't taste good." He admits, I laugh and pull him in for a hug.

"My funny boy. Now go eat those peas, you need the energy they offer you." I say, pushing him towards his table.

"I don't deserve the stomach ache." He says back, I laugh and dismiss him with a wave.

"Look daddy, I like mixing the peas and rice." Mara says as she scoops the two on a spoon and puts it into her mouth.

"That doesn't mean that you can skip out on the chicken. Come on sweetheart, you need the protein." Tobias worries, running a hand up and down her bony chest to make a point.

"I'll try later." She promised, I already began on my food cutting the chicken into pieces so then Mara could eat some.

"Just try now." I say, stabbing a small piece and moving it to her mouth. She puckered her face but put it in her mouth.

"It doesn't taste good." She says, swallowing her bite. Tobias tried some himself.

"It tastes fine Mara, now all the food on that tray better be in your tummy even if it means staying here for hours." Tobias demands.

And so he held to his word, we sat and watched the many people of the cafeteria disappear while Mara worked on her food. She managed to get the rice and peas complete by the end of dinner and slowly worked through the chicken until I noticed the way her eyes filled with tears through her third bite. She chewed harder and shook her head furiously, releasing her frustrated tears and spitting the bite into a napkin Tobias gave to her.

"I don't want anymore." She whimpered, wiping her eyes quickly and sipping some more water.

"Okay, that's enough. We should get you to bed I guess." Tobias says, taking the dirty tray while I lift Mara into an embrace and stroke her hair.

"You did your best. That was a lot of food." I comfort, stroking her hair and kissing her on the neck.

"I'm sorry I didn't finish." She says, her words muffled by my shoulder.

"That's okay, at least you finished most of it. That's all we asked for." I say, rocking her lightly before feeling Tobias envelope us in a hug.

"Thank you for being so good with your dinner Mara." Tobias says, kissing the crown of her head and allowing her arms to close around his neck.

"Sorry daddy." Mara whispers, curling into his embrace and relaxing at the way his fingers traced circles over her shoulder blade.

"There is no reason for you to apologize." Tobias says, I watch the room with careful eyes for Molly.

"Why don't you guys head home and begin to start your bath while I go and talk to someone." I suggest. Tobias furrows his eyebrows but a simple nod of my head towards Molly's direction made him understand instantly.

"Okay. Love you sweetheart." He kissed me and headed for the doors while I went right to my desired table.

"Molly," I began, noticing her transfixed face on the baby in her arms.

"Hey, how is she?" Molly asks, rising from her table and approaching me.

"Mara is alright. She's finally coming home, her only job is to gain some weight." I say, a whisper of a grin growing on my lips.

"Look I never fully apologized for what happened. Peter played me to some extent and I was, still am appalled by the severity of what he's done. She, nor does any young child, deserve that. On my behalf, will you forgive me?"

"Molly you've done nothing wrong. He lied to you, you are innocent." I say, my eyes quickly glancing at the almost newborn. "Is it a boy or a girl?" I ask, smiling at the wide-eyed baby.

"A boy. I named him Felix, he was born 3 weeks ago." She smiles proudly, beaming at her son.

"He's adorable." I say, stroking the small fist of the brown hair, green eyed boy.

"I'm so in love with him. He's been my everything from the moment I laid my eyes on him."

"I remember that feeling. All my kids were magically capable of stealing my heart from the first time I laid my eyes on them. Damien, then Phoenix, Ezra, and finally Mara. They are my world." I exasperate, giggling when a gurgle came from his mouth.

"I can't believe you had twins, delivering Felix was painful enough but two! God Stiff, I guess you are tougher than I remember." We both laugh at the old name and I feel gratitude from her words.

"Only a mother would know the pain that comes from loving those little suckers." I say, continuing to stroke Felix's hand.

"Here. Hold him." Molly offers, I graciously take the baby into my arms and rock him gently.

"Oh you're such a pretty boy aren't you?" I coo, stroking his round nose. "Are you an easy boy or a hard one?" I ask him, Molly answers.

"A very easy one. Until it comes time for a bath. Then he's a nightmare."

"Ezra was like that, the boy hated water. The twins took a liking to it and Mara likes baths but Ezra bathes appropriately and gets out as soon as he can." Molly laughs at the thought and runs a finger over the brown fuzz peeking through the black hat.

"Well I should get going. Tobias is bathing Mara and he may need my help." I say, handing the baby back and offering a final smile.

"Bye Tris."

"Bye Molly, bye Felix." I wave and run from the cafeteria, heading home.

When I arrive Tobias is dressing Mara in her pajamas, he is already in his.

"Time for bed munchkin." He decides, picking her off the ground and placing her on the middle of the mattress. As I change I watch Tobias roll the heavy blanket around her like a burrito. He unrolled her with a swift tug, sending her into a fit of giggles.

"Ezra sleeping over at Izzy's?" I ask, untucking my hair from my shirt and approaching the bed.

"Yup, he claimed that they were working on a project." Tobias smirks.

"Well not much they can do with Shauna and Zeke hounding them about keeping things decent." I remind him, catching Mara after he unrolled her and pecking her wet hair.

"Come on silly, bed time." I say, pulling her into me and stroking her hair as Tobias joins us and shuts off the light. I begin to hum, my hands running through her hair as Tobias draws soft shapes up and down her arms.

I sing until the song ends and start a new one up only to stop short because sleep lulled me under. Mara and Tobias were already fast asleep by then.

* * *

**I have a new found interest in poetry! Problem is I can't write it down when I get the idea! I'm either on a run, in the shower, or straight up out of reach of a pen and paper.**

**I've magically written 2 poems already. Actually before updating Innocent Love I wrote it in the spur of the moment.**

**My little sister and I are watching old pooh bear episodes, I keep getting sad because I remember how easy life was when I was a kid.  
****I also realized how I was the largest pooh bear fangirl out there! I had obsessions at the age of 3! Anyways I would wear everything pooh bear themed and have 8 pooh bear stuffies. I only read pooh bear picture books and nearly made myself sick with excitement when I say the characters at disney. Oh, I also never missed an episode once, everyday at 9am I was awake and sitting in front of our TV, watching all my favourite characters embarking on a new adventure. Those were the good ole days!**

**Well I have to go, I must wake up early tomorrow to go with my mom to the doctor. She's fine, in case you were wondering.**

**-Valentina**


	64. Chapter 64- In Omnia Paratus

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 64  
In Omnia Paratus

"Shh, it's alright. Daddy's got you." Words I awoken to that were softly whispered and slightly muffled. I turned in the bed and saw the dark figure of Tobias cradling Mara as she gripped his shirt and whimpered quietly.

"Hey, is everything okay baby?" I ask, propping myself up on my elbow and stroking back the exposed black hair of my daughter.

"I'm scared." She whispered into the shoulder of Tobias, her breathing became rigid as more cries came from her.

"Shh, don't remember it. Just try to sleep." Tobias urges, pressing his lips into her hair and rocking slightly.

"I can't." She croaked.

"Why not little raven?" I ask, tracing my finger tips up and down her arm soothingly.

"Because they're still there." She states.

"They won't hurt you if your mommy and I are here." Tobias promises, slipping down into the bed once again and tucking Mara back in between us. I pull the covers back up and kiss Mara right behind the ear before nuzzling my nose into her hair and inhaling the lavender scent.

~.~.~

The next morning Mara woke us up with a gleam of excitement in her eyes. She was wrapped tightly in her pink blanket and was sitting up on the covers, shaking one of Tobias' legs and one of mine.

"It's Christmas." She reminded us, giggling as Tobias flew up in bed and wrapped her into a bear hug.

"Well so it seems." Tobias laughs, blowing raspberries on Mara's stomach as she squirmed and screeched in delight.

"Did Santa come?" Mara questions, sitting up suddenly with shock covering her features.

"Let's go check!" I urge, jumping from the bed and swinging Mara onto my back before running into the living room. It was no surprise when Mara and I both screamed in terror, causing Tobias to run out of the room with a shirt hanging on his arms because he had no time to slip it on.

"What's wrong?" Tobias asks frantically, laughs erupted through the room and Mara began to lightly giggle herself.

"It's just our family." She breathed, wiggling off me and running into the arms of Damien.

"Hey Ari, the whole clan thought it would be fun to have a Christmas celebration." Damien says, motioning to the group of our friends. Piper was holding onto Thalia as the little girl waved her hand excitedly. Sam was nestled in the crook of Lynn's neck, still fast asleep from her early morning wake up call.

Phoenix sat on the lap of Alex while he lightly tugged at a single bouncy curl. Ezra was standing on the arm rest of the couch eating what seemed to be a cookie and Izabel was scowling below him as crumbs fell into her blonde hair.

I noticed that pajamas were worn and hot chocolate was in the mugs I very well knew belonged in the kitchen. I just wonder how everyone did this so quietly without waking up Tobias or I.

"Did Santa come?" Mara asks, absent mindedly grabbing Damien's ear and giving it an excited tug.

"Sure did, looks like you were a very good girl this year." Damien nods to the tree nestled in the corner of the room and Mara's eyes lite up.

"Look momma!" Mara cried, slipping down from Damien and walking to me. She looked like she wanted to run, her body was needing speed but she was too weak. She's unable to move that quick and it obviously killed part of her happiness. I made it to her in 2 strides and whipped her back into my arms.

"Let's go see what you and everyone else got, beautiful." I encourage, smiling brightly to make her feel better.

Everyone followed and Tobias and Uriah began tossing presents around to everyone. There was 1 per person and everyone gladly accepted them, waiting until the rest were handed out and finally left the tree empty of any gifts.

"So how should we do this? Youngest to oldest?" Shauna asks, holding her gifts while she sits cross-legged in front of Zeke and leaning into his chest.

"Like every year my dear, that means Sammy goes first." Zeke says, nodding to the now sleepy-eyed baby.

"Here Sammy, present number one." Marlene coos, helping her baby pick the wrapping paper off. A large box was left showing the image of an exersaucer doorway jumper. Sam had no clue what it was but she gladly hit the box and gurgled at the thud.

Thalia went next. Tearing giddily at her box until she finally revealed a toy elephant that had large ears and a long trunk.

"Bubble!" Thalia demanded, naming her elephant.

"Okay Mara, you're next." Tobias urges, she takes her box and tears the paper off to reveal a long jewelry box. She pops off the top and pulls up a small silver necklace, a blue heart-shaped locket hung at the end. The heart was all silver linings with a light blue background. A similar one hung around Phoenix's neck only in dark red and having been there since she was little.

"What does it say?" Mara asks, her shaky fingers, holding the open locket in her palm as she urges it to Tobias. He scooted next to us and sat cross-legged beside me. Mara pressed back into my chest a little more and enveloped herself in my warmth.

"In Omnia Paratus, it means Prepared for All Things in Latin." Tobias says knowingly, stroking the lovely print with his index finger and shutting it with a _click. _

"Santa is really good at making things." Mara says, handing Tobias the locket and moving her hair aside. Tobias closed the necklace around her neck and carefully ran two fingers over the markings on her spine.

"You look beautiful." I comment kissing her cheek and wrapping my sweater around her shoulders.

"Alright Ezra, you're up." Izabel comments with a smirk, dodging the smack intended for her arm. Ezra hates the fact he is nearly a year younger than Izabel, especially whenever she had a chance to flaunt that fact. He unwrapped the gift anyways and excitedly grabbed what the box contained.

"Oh cool!" Ezra cries, popping the switch blade in his hand open. "My own army knife." I shoot a glare at Tobias.

"Looks like Santa really did listen this year." I say, pinching Tobias' wrist discreetly causing his to cringe.

"Santa was doing his best." Tobias demands, poking my side and smiling to Ezra. "I'll teach you how to flip the blade around later."

"Thanks dad!" Ezra flipped the shining blade back into place and shoved the knife into his pocket. He readjusted the toque on his head and I noticed the length of his hidden hair.

"Looks like Santa also needs to give you a haircut, shaggy. Before school starts again." I say, Ezra moaned.

"I like my hair long." He complained, shoving a piece from his eyes.

"Just enough for you to see, nothing like your dad's, I promise." I assure him, looking to Izabel next.

"You're up next Sweetie. Let's see it." I say, Izabel went straight to work pulling off her red jingle bells wrapping paper.

"Well, well, well, looks like Santa was present when I went shopping last week and desperately wanted a pair of these babies." Izabel lifts the black boots up and raises an eyebrow at Shauna.

"Don't ruin the fun Izzy. You know the saying: he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake." Shauna offers, Izabel rolled her eyes and smiled happily.

"Well Santa should know that I love them." Izabel hugged the boots and called for Piper to go next.

"Alright lets see what's in here." Piper pops open a bag. She gasped in delight, "Oh my god! It's the leather jacket!"

"Just as requested." Will says, stroking his daughter's long hair and kissing her on the crown of her head.

"Thank you." Piper whispered, smiling at both Chris and Will.

"You're next." She smacked Phoenix's thigh causing her to scowl and scoot to the opposite lap of Alex.

"Geez, thanks for the age reminder." Phoenix whined, opening her present and pulling up a leather back book.

"Is this-" Phoenix unclipped the book and gave a small whimper.

"That was the book your grandma read to you when you saw her for the first time. It's a little burnt on the edges but the words are able to be read and we- I mean Santa must have noticed how much you loved the story." Tobias explains. "Damien, the brave knight that saves his sister."

"I was named after him, wasn't I dad?" Damien asks, sitting next to Phoenix and looking at the hand painted images.

"Yes you were, it was my favourite book and when I heard your grandma read it I remember Phoenix demanding how it was her favourite story." Tobias continues, "So it was said that Damien the knight saved the princess that day, slaying the dragon and claiming to forever protect his best friend, the girl he grew up with and calls his sister." Tobias quotes, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and wiping the tear the rolled down my cheek.

"The Twins of the Moon, I love it." Phoenix whispered, closing the book and wiping her cheek. "Thank you." She added, leaning against Alex and accepting his comfort.

"Alright my turn." Damien says, opening up his gift and pulling out a hand-gun.

"Really?" Damien asks both Tobias and I in shock.

"You're apart of the police force. A man like you needs a gun." I say, smiling at his delight as he pulled the bullet box up and pushed his bag away.

"This is awesome, thanks." He tucks the gun in the back of his pants and holds the bullets on his lap.

"You're turn Alex." Phoenix says, watching as he opened his present to reveal a sound system.

"Well this isn't going to please the neighbors." Phoenix says, Alex laughs and looks at the image on the box.

"Wow this is amazing. Music for the whole floor, my treat." Alex says, looking up to Tobias and I. "Thanks." We both knew that Alex has no family here, he's with our daughter and we need to show him that he is with a family. In a family you never go without a gift on special occasions.

"Alright, time for the parents. Should we all go to save the humility of our ages?" Chris asks causing us to laugh.

"We're not _that _old!" Shauna scolds, thunking her box down on Chris' head and taking a seat next to her, taking Thalia onto her lap and encouraging the girl to tear the wrapping paper.

The kids began to show off their gifts to one another, Damien took Mara away and showed her how the unloaded gun works. I watched and noticed Will receiving a photo of his family with writing on the back in Chris' print. Will gave Chris a bracelet causing her to tear up at its beauty.

Uriah gave Marlene a ring and she gave him a watch with something tapped on the back, I couldn't quiet see what it was.

Zeke gave Shauna a card with something inside that made Shauna laugh really hard and kiss him with great passion. Shauna gave Zeke a suit that she claimed the other day while visiting Mara, that the suit was absolutely going to be sexy on him! I needed to shake the mental image she insinuated with her nudge and wink before she left.

Lynn and Ronnie exchanged matching necklaces, I smiled at the way the two of them connected on such a passionate level.

"Well Beautiful, looks like everyone got what they wanted this year." Tobias says, coming behind me and hanging a necklace around my neck. I take the charm in my hand and feel the instant rush of love as I notice the inside has one picture of the two of us and another of the 4 kids. He wrapped both arms around my waist and kissed my cheekbone.

"I still have my gift for you." I say, turning in his arms and stroking his chin.

"I thought you were my gift." He says, I giggle at his charming words and quickly kiss him before wrapping both arms around his neck and pulling back.

"Seriously, I did get you something." I say, wiggling free of his arms and heading to the coffee table. I reach under it and pull out a photo album.

"Well that's convenient for hiding things." Tobias smirks, pulling me back to him and eyeing the album.

"Just look at it." I say, handing him the thick book and watching as he flipped to the first page. His smirk dropped and his began to watch as each picture came by. Photos of us, soon the twins joining in from their first photo ever to screen shots of the time they each took their first steps. Train jumping, cake eating contests, poor Piper nearly throwing up as Damien chased her with a handful of cake. Soon Ezra came, his matching lopsided grin and well built body as he and Tobias posed after working out. Our friends with goofy faces, the occasional crying child to throw in humor from the pointless tears of those days.

Mara appeared, her arms wrapped around Tobias as her body was full of life and health. He began crying slowly, reading our small letters to one another, his letters that I never received but found months ago that were from the time we fought and nearly lost the twins. I cried myself skimming each word.

_Sorry,_

_My world,_

_The pain,_

_Their daddy,_

_My father,_

_Second chances, _

_Please,_

_My love, _

_Forever._

All words were scattered among the many ripped pages from a notebook.

He got to last page and began to read my letter to him:

_To My Beloved Husband,_

_There are never any perfect words to describe our love for each other or the bond we share. We have a love and relationship so unique, that it literally takes my breath away. Marrying you was never a mere chance, but a life long calling. Each moment in my life has led to you, my prince. I feel tethered to you. I feel as though I am on a journey with highs and lows just trying to find my way home. You are my home. You are my somewhere over the rainbow. You are where all my dreams come true. _

_I no longer worry about the future. I know with every fiber of my being that no matter what comes our way that together we will prevail. I know there is no certainty but I am certain that our love is so powerful that we will always be able to find a way to be together. These past 16 years I have managed to fall even deeper in love with you. Our wedding was magical and has given us the most beautiful platform to start our marriage off on. I just truly can't believe it has been this long!_

_The memories of our love, our children: Damien, Phoenix, Ezra, and Mara, and our friends will serve as a constant reminder of the sacred vows we took. I will always love you in this life and whatever follows. I will always be the same person kissing your cheek each morning, singing every night, and dancing down the hallways with our Mara. You are my sun and stars. When you feel lost just think of my eyes as they are the window to my soul and there shall you forever find comfort in your home. _

_Remember, out of all the decisions I've made in my life, you will always be the best one. _

_Love always, _

_Tris_

* * *

**Here's the first time I describe a Christmas in the Eaton family**.

**I start school next week and I'm scared because I hate people there and all that goes on. I enjoy studying though. **

**"In Omnia Paratus." That is the quote I live by. I got it from Gilmore Girls. That is my favourite show that I watch every summer. 7 seasons of pure perfection. **

**Well I've got to go, it's my job to make lunch and I decided to make grilled cheese and quesadias. I'm lazy, sorry.**

**Oh also just to add, I'm going to be updating The Weeping tonight and I want to write a PJO fanfic after The Blood of Olympus comes out October 7th. I will be writing a Twilight short soon and I will work in my poems sometime soon. Look for one of my poems in the Authors Note for Chapter 2 of The Illusion of the Weeping. **

**Comment what you think :)**

**-Valentina **


	65. Chapter 65- What Haunts Her

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 65  
What Haunts Her

Between my tears and the amount of distraction in the book Tobias and I could hardly compose ourselves until we heard Uriah shout with excitement.

"A baby?!" He demanded, laughing with Marlene as he placed a tentative hand over her stomach. Marlene giggled and nodded.

"Yes Uri, a baby. Merry Christmas." She says, kissing Uriah as he hugged his wife close.

"Congrats guys." Zeke rubbed Uriah's hair as he hugged Marlene.

"Wait so you tapped a pee stick to the watch?" Lynn asked, hugging Marlene through the question.

"I had nothing better planned." Marlene defended herself, hugging Ronnie and then the rest of the awaiting congratulators.

"Well I think that was a wonderful surprise." Uriah exasperated, wrapping his arms around Mar and kissing her.

"Thank you Uri. I'm sure it's going to be another girl." Marlene goes off, explaining her dreams and how Sam would make the best big sister to a little girl.

"Hey Sammy Girl, want a baby sister or brother?" Uriah asks, cooing at the baby in Izabel's arms. Sam just stared at her father and clapped his cheeks with her hands as she bounced with excitement.

"Sammy's with me on this one. A boy is the only way to go." Uriah scoops Sam into his arms and tickles her stomach. She giggles even harder and reaches for Mar who grabs her and snuggles her into her chest.

"Nope, a girl is what we will have." Marlene says, no room of argument left.

"Fine." Uriah disgruntled agrees and begins to twist the pregnancy test between his fingers.

"Mommy?" Mara approaches her arms up over her head as she reaches for me. I pick her up and kiss the rosie pink skin on her cheek.

"Yes little raven?" I ask as Tobias wraps his arms around me and looks to Mara as well.

"Can we go for breakfast soon?"

"Sure, why don't you go and get your siblings to go get ready and we can meet for breakfast in 30 minutes?" I suggest, Mara nods and wiggles from my grasp until I place her on the ground and allow her to walk to Damien and Phoenix's small conversation.

"She was shaking." I tell Tobias nervously, the quiver of her body still vibrating through my arms.

"Her blood sugar must be low. That's why she must want breakfast. I'll giver her a piece of chocolate after her shower." Tobias says, grasping my arms and reliving the shake.

"Alright well I'll go get her bath running, mind bringing her to me once everyone leaves?"

"Sure thing, Sweetheart." Tobias kisses me, both of his hands cupping my cheeks and holding me close to him.

I head over to the bathroom and begin the bath as I hear the door to the hallway open for everyone to leave.

"It's freezing!" Someone, possibly Uriah, exasperated.

"Four, why the hell is the system not on? It's a freeze over out there." Lynn speaks this time.

"I told Danny to put the heat before leaving yesterday. The system must have freezed over again. Sorry guys, just bundle up and you should be fine." Tobias says, Thalia crying out "Cold" between his words.

"Yes Tali, it's cold." Will agrees.

"Well let's go get ready for breakfast. No one go with wet hair, otherwise that will freeze as well." Ronnie says receiving a few laughs.

Few byes are now said and the door shuts.

"I'm going for a shower." Ezra says, Tobias must have nodded to allow him to go.

"Daddy my tummy hurts." Mara begins to explain as her and Tobias' voices get louder.

"It's probably because you're hungry, sweetie. Don't worry, we'll get breakfast soon." He promises, opening the bathroom door all the way and placing Mara next to me.

"Arms up, pumpkin." Tobias says, grabbing the hem of Mara's shirt and beginning to pull up. She raises her arms and he swiftly removes the top from over her head.

"It's cold." Mara shivers, wrapping her arms around herself and bouncing on her toes.

"The bath is nice and hot, just the way you like it." I say tossing her pants next to her shirt and releasing the messy braid in her hair.

"Thank you." She whispers, my finger combing through the three strands of hair until it was hanging mid-back once again.

"Here we go." Tobias swings her up and places her in the tub. I watch as she relaxes in the water and swishes the liquid as usual. I've come to see this habit as a comfort, or a distraction. As much as I'd like to deny it, Mara is uncomfortable with being naked in front of Tobias and I. Most kids her age would be fine with exposing themselves, especially since being a parent gives you that obligation. Mara on the other hand tends to shy away from being around Tobias and I like this. It's traumatic for her but she's to weak to bathe alone at the moment so the least I can do is give her modesty and not ask for the reasons why she doesn't like to be naked in front of me.

I clean her hair and wash her body with a washcloth as quickly as possible to avoid the water from getting cold and by the time she is wrapped in a large towel, Tobias is done making the bed and doing the laundry.

"I picked out some clothes for the little Princess." Tobias says, taking Mara from me and placing her on the ground, kneeling in front of her in the process. "Let's not allow that hair of yours to freeze." He suggests, rubbing the towel over her body and wrapping it around her hair so it dries.

"Step into your underwear." He instructs, opening the small underwear slightly and allowing Mara to use his shoulder as she steps in to each leg hole and wiggles them up to her hips. From there leggings and a thermal long sleeve is added along with fluffy socks.

"Let me do your hair, sweetie." I suggest, motioning for her to come to where I sit at the bed and to begin the brushing over her semi-dry ringlets. Tobias leaves and returns a minute later with Ezra trailing behind him.

"Still shaky?" Tobias asks Mara, Ezra is already eating his bit of chocolate.

"Yeah." Mara nods weakly, her eyes closing for a moment.

"Here, eat this. Deep breathes sweetie. Try to relax your heart beat." Tobias explains, crouching in front of Mara and offering her the chocolate piece. She accepts it and nibbles and the light brown block.

"Thanks daddy." She quickly glances up at him but throws her eyes back down to her necklace.

"Come on, let's go get some real food in you." I say, placing the brush down on the dresser and rising, pressing my hand into the back of Mara's head to urge her forward gently. Tobias slides a large sweatshirt on her and helps get some boots on before allowing her out of the room.

"Give us 10 minutes to get ready." I say to the two while Ezra urges Mara to follow him into the living room. They turn on the TV so Tobias and I quickly shower and dress ourselves warmly before exiting the room again.

"Okay now we can go." Tobias announces, Ezra turns off the TV and jumps from the couch with large movements.

"How about not breaking the couch today?" I suggest making him laugh and readjust the cushion.

"Want a piggy back Ari?" Ezra asks, crouching down so she can jump on. She climbs on and he shakes her into the right position. "Alright, let's go."

We all leave, shivering slightly from the cool air in the hallways.

"If only someone worked on the holidays." Tobias exasperated, rubbing his hands together in an attempt to preserve their warmth.

"My fingers are cold." Mara whispers to Ezra, he looks to me in fear.

"It's okay." I promise Ezra, taking Mara from his back and having Tobias hold her while I puff hot air onto each ice old finger.

"Better?" I ask, wrapping her sleeve around her now warmed hand like her other one.

"Yeah, thanks momma." She tucks her hands under her stomach and lays her head on Tobias' shoulder, falling asleep quickly.

"How you holding up Ezra?" I ask, taking one of his hands and puffing air like I did with Mara's. He laughs and moves closer to me.

"Fine, it's just cold." He says, taking his hand back and readjusting his toque so his pink ears are covered.

"Did you even shower?" I ask.

"No, I'll do it tonight." He dismisses.

"When was the last time you cleaned yourself up?" I ask, flipping the toque off and looking at his brown nest of un-brushed, long hair. "Ezra!" I say in anguish, Tobias chuckles next to me and I toss him a glare.

"That's it. Once we get home I'm having you put your head under the sink and I'm scrubbing your hair myself. No buts- you're filthy." I say, handing the toque back. He slips it on and snickers.

"I missed you too." He says, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and kissing my cheek. "Your nagging is vital to my survival." He adds, releasing me. I shove his shoulder and he laughs even more.

"Go, get some breakfast before it's all gone." I say, nudging him forward and watching as he runs to the cafeteria doors.

We're close behind and can already spot our table is full of our friends.

"Did the excitement knock her out?" Uriah asks once Tobias sits at the table.

"She's having low blood sugar problems Uriah." Tobias snaps back a little to harshly. "Sorry, I'm worried for her." He apologizes Uriah's smile grows large again.

"It's cool man. I now can totally understand how it feels to be protective over your kids. My bad."

"Tris maybe ask for some sugar in the porridge. That's all they're serving today for breakfast. Apparently supplies is running low because of the freeze over." Chris distastefully lifts her spoon and allows the porridge to drip from the tilted end.

"Alright." I quickly stop at the kids table and wrap my arms around Phoenix.

"Having a good breakfast?" I ask, kissing her head and swaying slightly.

"It's okay, not my favorite." She says, mimicking Chris' moves and receiving a laugh from Alex.

"Yeah well you better eat all of it okay, baby?" I ask, she nods with a laugh.

"Okay mom."

"Good girl." I kiss her head once more and go to Damien and Ezra. Piper sat between him and Phoe.

"You boys make sure to eat all your food." I say, kissing their heads and rubbing their hats.

"Okay mom." They say in unison, adjusting their toques and continuing to eat their food.

I go get some porridge for Tobias, Mara and I, making sure to ask for sugar in the one for Mara.

"Here you go miss." The man hands me a tray and I take it, careful not to jostle the water. When I get near the table Mara is crying on Tobias' lap as everyone tries to calm her, saying that I was coming with pointed fingers to me.

"Momma." Mara croaks, I place the tray down and sit next to her, cupping her face and wiping her eyes with my thumbs.

"What's wrong baby?" I ask, scooting closer and holding her eyes with mine.

"That man looked like him." She says, pointing discreetly to a man with a rough face and red hair. She must have thought it was Drew. She cried harder and I pulled her onto my lap.

"Shh, it's okay. You're safe, we're all going to protect you. No one is going to harm you with your family around." I promise, kissing her head profusely and rubbing her back.

"I want to go home." She says, her words muffled by my shoulder.

"You have to eat first." I say, stroking the hair behind her ear, just the way she likes it.

"No momma, please don't make me eat." She begged, shaking her head lightly.

"Baby I can't force you to eat but I'm please asking you to eat just a little so you won't be shaky anymore." I coo gently into her ear afterwards and she finally gives in, sitting up and grabbing a spoon. She eats a few bites, glancing at Tobias and I before putting the spoonful in and swallowing as promised. She amazingly eats all her food and I can't help but wrap my arms around her and kiss her head multiple times. She was committing herself to getting better, that's all I ever wanted.

* * *

**First things first:**

**What did you think?!  
**

**Second:**

**Will you read a Percy Jackson fanfic let's say one week after blood of olympus comes out (october 7th) ? **

**And Finally: **

**Sorry for the late update. I was busy school shopping for my uniform and ****bleh!  
**

**Comment what you thought :)**

**-Valentina **


	66. Chapter 66- She Needs Pain to Forget

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 66  
She Needs Pain To Forget

|2 weeks later|

_**Third Person POV**_

Mara sat in the waiting room with Tris, holding onto Cloud and wiggling her feet absent-mindedly. The girl would glance around the small office, looking at the slowly ticking clock and the receptionist and the door that she'd soon have to enter. Tris kept her eyes on Mara the entire time.

"Great session Henry. I'll see you next week." Ms. Shirley waved off a young boy, possibly Ezra's age with pale blonde hair and green eyes. He'd been crying and had plenty evidence to prove it. Where on earth was Tris sending her daughter to?!

"Hi Mara." Ms. Shirley approached, crouching in front of the girl and offering a hand. Mara shook it but instantly buried her hand behind Cloud afterwards. "So Tris, I'd like to talk with Mara privately and then we'll bring you in to speak with us afterwards. Is that alright with you Mara?" The petit raven haired girl nodded and Tris gave her a kiss on the head before sending her off. Mara walked two steps behind Ms. Shirley and hesitantly entered the office, glancing to Tris timidly before the door shut.

"I'm Ms. Shirley and I just want to talk with you for a little bit." The woman introduced herself, offering Mara to sit on the couch next to her single person chair. "Can I get you anything? Water or some cookies?"

"No thank you." Mara says, sitting down and eyeing the yellow pad Ms. Shirley held with a pen hooked on.

"Who's that?" Ms. Shirley pointed to the bunny that Mara grasped with white knuckles. She released the toy slightly and straightened up in posture just like Tobias and Tris taught all their children.

"Cloud. My Auntie Marlene fixed his foot with some grey fabric." Mara explains, lifting the different leg and running a finger over the small stitches.

"Well she did a lovely job." Ms. Shirley nodded, Mara smiled and gave a slight blush.

"You want me to talk to you about what happened." Mara says knowingly, her inquisitive side showing immensely. Ms. Shirley gave a slight laugh and relaxed against the chair.

"We can talk about whatever you'd like. I'm here to help you with whatever you need."

"But my mommy and daddy help me." Mara says with confusion.

"And I'm sure they do an amazing job. I'm just trying to help you cope with the deep stuff." The ginger woman replied.

"Deep stuff? So you want to hear what happened, like I said?" This girl was obviously years older at mind then her body perceived. Ms. Shirley was baffled at this girl's wisdom.

"Let's play a game." She suggested, fixing her pen and speaking again, "I'm going to say a word and you are going to say the first thing that comes to mind, okay?" Mara nodded and grabbed her wrist with her right hand, waiting for the words.

Ms. Shirley= "Happiness."

Mara= "My family."

Ms. Shirley= "Sadness."

Mara= "Losing someone that you loved a lot."

Ms. Shirley= "Ravens."

Mara= "My mommy."

Ms. Shirley= "Girls."

Mara= "My sister."

Ms. Shirley= "Boys."

Mara= "My brothers."

Ms. Shirley= "Women."

Mara= "My Aunties."

Ms. Shirley= "Men."

Mara= "Danger."

Ms. Shirley= "Danger."

Mara= "Strangers you don't know."

Ms. Shirley= "Strangers."

Mara= "Someone who can take you away."

Ms. Shirley= "Nightmares."

Mara= "Not having my mommy and daddy."

Ms. Shirley= "Trapped."

Mara= "Being stuck in a place you don't want to be."

Ms. Shirley= "Scared."

Mara= "How I felt when I was put to sleep when I wasn't tired."

Ms. Shirley= "Safety."

Mara= "Having my family around me, protecting me."

Mara already had bad images running through her mind from the past words, she felt tears ready to spill from her eyes.

"Alright last one: Family." Mara pensively thought this over, her mind unsure of what words could describe her broken world of not having something permanent.

"Something that doesn't last forever in the real world but stay forever in my heart."

"Thank you Mara for telling me those things. Now, what's running through your mind?"

"I keep thinking about those nights. I remember I was never sleepy but they would put me to sleep and I kept waking up in between thinking about how much I wanted my mommy. She makes me feel safe and daddy is always so protective. His big arms are like bars that keep me in and make me feel like nothing can touch me. I thought they were gone forever, that I'd lost the last people that loved me."

"What does it feel like knowing that they are here with you now?" Ms. Shirley asked, taking little notes and eyeing the wrist that Mara now, opposed to just holding it, picked at and pinched.

"I'm afraid to lose them again." She admits, running light finger over her bruising wrist because of the topic change.

"When do you feel safest?"

"When I'm asleep in their bed. They both wrap an arm around me and mommy always does this thing where she taps her fingers up a down my back like something crawling quickly. Sometimes I like to sleep on top of daddy because I can hear his heartbeat. I feel safer knowing that he can't leave without me moving."

"How about your siblings?"

"Damien is really funny. He does magic tricks for me and runs with me on his back so I can be a bird. Phoenix does my hair and likes to hold me when we watch a movie. Sometimes she comes over and I sleep with her in my bed and she always hugs me. Ezra shares his stickers with me and we always play card games. He's better than me but he teaches me all his tricks and he wants to teach me how to play chess."

"They sound like great siblings."

"They love me and I love them. I can always trust them." Mara replies quickly, nodding with determination to get her point straight.

"Well what do you think about bringing your mom in?" Ms. Shirley ask, she nods and blinks quickly to remove the tears in her eyes.

Ms. Shirley rose and went to the door, motioning for Tris to come on in. Tris enters and sits next to her daughter, running a careful hand over her head and asking if she was okay.

"Mara dear, do you mind going over there and playing with those toys? I'd like to have a private discussion with your mom." Mara gave a quaint nod and nervously glanced at Tris.

"It's okay. I'll be here. Go on now." Tris patted her daughter's behind and sent her off with a small giggle.

"So Tris, Mara seems to be very satisfied with the degree in which you and Four care for her. She's comfortable, she loves her siblings and extended family that you said before are Four and yours friends and their kids."

"Yeah, we've got a really close family like relationship." Tris agrees, smiling at Mara and enjoying her acceptance.

"It also seems that Mara suffers from anxiety over losing her family. When the discussion was brought up I noticed this habit of her's to pinch her wrist. In fact the bruises were slightly noticeable before hand and I think she's done it before. If a situation doesn't fit to her liking then she gets anxious and does something to occupy herself. Pain being inflicted can be a well known distraction. When talking about nightmares, her fears, her family leaving, all of it made her fidget. If she liked the topic she'd run her fingers over the bruises almost soothingly."

"What can we do? How do we stop her?" Tris asks frantically, her eyes searching for the bruises on Mara's distant wrist.

"This isn't a simple habit like biting your nails or twirling your hair. This is bigger, with more background and meaning. She needs time, and hopefully the need to feel this pain will go away. Also with basic discussions that do not direct themselves to her pinching like how hurting yourself is bad can be a good way to help. I've read your daughter's Phoenix's file, she has schizophrenia, yeah?"

"Yes." Tris agrees, a slight discomfort in the knowledge someone was reading the whole family's file.

"Did Phoenix ever use pain as a coping mechanism?"

"No, she had medication and she was always very good when reacting to it."

"No episodes of any sort?" Ms. Shirley ventured.

"Once Phoenix forgot to take her medicine. She was 14, and I wasn't present for her reaction but she was said to have been screaming and clawing at herself."

"Exactly." Ms. Shirley said with satisfaction, that was what she wanted to hear.

"Excuse me?" This confused Tris.

"That's exactly what I mean. Phoenix used pain to draw herself away from what she didn't like. Mara is doing just that only this isn't a figment of her imagination, these are real memories that can't be blocked. No medicine will erase those from her thoughts-"

"Tobias said that Candor has Memory Serum." Tris interrupts abruptly.

"Tris, don't you think that was taken into consideration for a case like your daughters?" Ms. Shirley accused.

"Ms. Shirl- god damn it woman, were old enough to use each others real name." Tris said with distastefulness to the formal name.

"It's Cameron."

"Cameron- no one had the decency to discuss this with my husband or I. I'll inform him later of what I've hear but please let me know- what's so bad about using this serum?"

"All her memories will disappear." Cameron states plainly.

"That serum is to pin-point the memories you want erased, Erudite improved it." Tris says back.

"And why do you think it won't work? Her captors were always two steps ahead of us." Cameron fires back in a whisper.

Tris gave a saddened look to a preoccupied Mara. 3 of the people that kept her were Erudite, one being her brother who is thankfully behind closed doors in the city jail. They knew what to do to make her life hell.

"What did they do?" Tris seethes.

"Brain shocks. They soaked her head, wired her skull where those two black marks are and shocked her. This procedure was developed as a reverse for the serum and it goes for 5 minutes, between the intervals of 4 hours for a whole 24 hours. The way the water and electricity burn the brain causes memories to be a whole. To erase a single memory would be to erase all." Both women look to Mara and back towards one another.

"My fucking brother." Tris says in a whisper, anger coating her words as tears welled in her eyes. Cameron offered the tissue box and sympathetically stared at the crying woman.

"What Caleb did was unforgivable." Cameron said, her voice firm.

"I thought he had sympathy, but all he wanted was a test subject. It's sick."

"And that's why Mara is with you. You were lucky enough that Caleb refused to house the girl otherwise she'd been tested daily. She has a great mom and dad. Don't forget that." This made Tris smile lightly, Mara has now looked up to see the tear-streaked face of her mom.

"Momma." Mara approached rapidly, stopping in front of her mom and frowning. "No tears." Mara reminds her, wiping a small hand over Tris' cheek and kissing where they once ran, just the way Tris would do to comfort her.

"No tears, baby." Tris promises, lifting her little girl into an embrace and indulging in the beautiful child in her arms.

* * *

**SORRY SORRY SORRY!**

**Seriously to everyone that I've let down with a late update I apologize. I've been busy with starting school and dealing with past problems. I haven't checked my email or any social media for that matter and have been trying my best to find my way back to this solid state of ability to write and communicate with others.**

**Chapter 66, what did you think? I hope you liked it! **

**-Valentina **


	67. Chapter 67- Patience Gets Us Through

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 67  
Patience Gets Us Through

|1 month later|

_**Tris' POV**_

"Mara your daddy and I have a very important question to ask you." I start, sitting on the couch next to Mara while Tobias takes her other side.

"Yes mommy?" She asks, turning off the volume of her movie and looking at us.

"The school has spring break very soon and we were wondering if you'd like to go back afterwards?" Tobias says, Mara shakes her head instantly.

"I want to do my school work at home, the way you and mommy do it now." Mara says, I can see the faint grasp her fingers do to her left wrist, invoking slight pain in her face.

"Mara please don't get worked up about this." I say, unlatching her fingers from her wrist and watching her eyes fiercely. "We want to make sure that you know that you can always go back to school. If you ever feel like the time is right then you can attend once again. For now you aren't ready so we'll continue with the online homework." I say, she nods and relaxes immensely.

"So what are we watching?" Tobias asks, Mara looks at him happily.

"Aladdin." She responds.

"Is your homework done?" He asks, Mara once again nods fiercely.

"Yes sir." We laugh at her sweetness and she hits play on the remote, the movie starts again and we watch as she sings along with the songs.

~.~.~

|1 Month Later|

_**Tobias' POV**_

Phoenix came by today, she was all smiles as she crouched in front of Mara and offered an all girls day with Piper, and Izabel. Mara was her usual cautious self and asked both Tris and I if she'd be okay. Tris encouraged her, saying Mara needed the time to be with her sister and friends. So Mara left and Tris wasn't due to leave for a on-call shift in 2 hours.

"She'll be fine." I calm my wife, she seemed to lack confidence in Mara's safety the moment the door shut.

"I know that. I just hope she doesn't get worked up or-"

"Tris, love, that's called worrying and I already promised you she'd be safe." I say with a laugh, she smirks herself and runs two hands over her face.

"Sorry," She says with a slight laugh. "Sorry, I worry that's all."

"It's in your nature." I say knowingly. Pressing her closer to me and prying her hands from her face. "Now let me see your gorgeous eyes." I say, kissing her nose and staring at her beautiful blue and grey orbs. "Just as mystical as ever." I comment in a sigh, she blushes slightly and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Yours aren't half bad either, Eaton." She giggles, kissing the hollow off my neck and resting her cheek on my chest. I feel her finger tap the end of my neck in the rhythm of my heartbeat. "I miss you." She whispers, I can't help the coy smile working on my lips as I rest my hands on his hips and sway her back and forth.

"Patience Love, it's what gets us through it." I say, leaning my head forward and trailing my lips down her neck, making her shiver as usual.

"Tobias, I need this. I need you to distract myself from the worry and everything else that comes with past events." She says in a whimper, I could imagine the tears building behind her lashes.

"Shh, no tears." I whisper after pressing her back slightly and seeing the dam of tears that have built. I kiss each of her eyes and wipe away the drips with my thumbs. "I love you, no event in our life, no person who comes between, will be able to change that. You are my wife, my best friend, and the only person that matters right here, right now. You're my Tris." I say, her smile returns and she gives a small nod indicating she's okay. "Only mine." I say before pressing my lips on hers and lifting her waist so she can wrap her legs around me. With the even height now she is able to run her fingers through my curls while I kiss her with even greater passion and walk towards our room.

It's been a long time since we could be intimate like this. Her petit body is still fragile like I always remember and her hair is short again, shoulder length like Chris'.

I took my time in remembering all of her perfect body as my hands gently removed her top and wrapped around her back to unhook her bra. She was still perfect, always has and always will be. Her eyes didn't look at mine for she was busy running her fingers over my chest muscles and down the center of my abs.

"Beautiful." I whisper, mystified by this gorgeous woman in front me whom I've been deprived of for months. She catches my eyes and smiles, scrunching her nose in that cute way in the process. She tugs me forward once again and I press myself over her, pressing my lips onto hers and relishing in the way they move in synchronization.

"Did I forget to mention," Tris begins as I kiss along her neck and chest line. "That you are mine as well. My Tobias Eaton." I look to her and wink before wrapping a hand around the back of her neck and resting my forehead on hers.

"I love you." Was all I could manage.

"I love you too." And then we were goners.

~.~.~

_**Tris' POV**_

"Tris, my office." Joy the boss wants to talk to me and I've only arrived.

"Certainly Claire." I say, taking in a strong inhale of air and blowing it out in absolute defeat. We enter the simple office with a very shiny black desk and close to 500 books covering the tall shelves plus the many files that have yet to be completed about the faction distribution and what not.

"Take a seat." She motioned and I did, raising an eyebrow when she wasn't looking.

"What can I do for you?" I ask kindly, thank God she didn't read minds.

"I need you to go to Erudite for a few days. No one seems to be able to take the job up and we need count on the different supplies leaving the headquarters. It would take quiet some time-"

"How much time?" I ask, cutting her off but offering an apologetic glance.

"About 5 days, give or take more. It depends on how fast you take numbers down and acquire the different types of medication supplies." Claire says, crossing her thin legs and resting both elbows on the arm rests of her swivel chair. "Well?" She asks.

"Claire you know my situation." I tell her with a slight warning in my voice.

"I do know. Your daughter was kidnapped, taken for the wrong reasons and found: 6 months ago. It's February Tris, not September. I'd expect Mara to be able to handle a few days away from either you or Four by now." She says, I chew the inside of my mouth to keep from screaming profanities at her.

"She's not even 7 yet, she went through probably one of the most traumatic experiences any person can experience and you expect her to be alright?" I ask calmly, counting to ten over and over. Damn it, I must have been at 100 but that couldn't calm my nerves.

"I don't expect her to be alright. I expect her to be able to have Four and Four alone for 5 days. You both won't be there all the time, this is a good time to start weaning her off of that clinging behavior."

"Weaning?" I ask, well now I was gripping the chair in absolute anger. "Claire this isn't a baby changing from breast-milk to regular food! This is a little girl who was tortured and fears for losing her family AGAIN!"

"You'll go back home though, it's not like you're staying in Erudite forever!" Claire throws back.

"Well, if I have to go I will but you better pray that Mara doesn't lose herself after all the progress she made with her confidence and trust." I warn with a slight fierceness in my tone.

"She won't lose herself after five days." Claire scoffs.

"Well she lost everything when she was 2 in a few minutes. She lost everything she had after that in an hour when she was 5. She lost her only control over one thing when she was 6. I'd be surprised if she doesn't lose just a little of that reassurance she felt when I'd promise to never leave her." I say, rising from my seat. "When do I have to leave?" I ask bitterly.

"This Monday. You may go home now, enjoy a Saturday with the-"

"Don't finish that sentence." I snap, grabbing my bag and leaving the office.

I hurry home and rummage through my leather jacket pockets in search for my damn apartment key. Finally I draw out the sliver key from the inside, left breast pocket.

I shove it into the lock and walk inside, throwing my bag on the ground and dropping my key with it.

"Hey sweetie, why are you home so soon?" Tobias asks, drying his hands with a cloth and dropping his smile at the sight of me. "What happened?" He asks, so I tell him the whole story. How my boss was a cold-hearted woman that doesn't understand the pain Mara goes through. "She doesn't understand the severity of things. I'm sure if she did she'd have never asked." Tobias says, tucking my hair behind my ears and kissing my cheekbones.

"Sorry if my mood is a little much, I just don't like it when people attempt to understand what our family goes through. I mean you should have heard her: "Maybe you should start weaning her off of that clinging behavior." Mara isn't clingy, she's getting very good at doing things for herself. She's taking showers, getting dressed, and doing her homework. She's a very good girl at being independent when needed." I nod confidently.

"She didn't know." Tobias repeats.

"Okay." I say, wrapping my arms around him and closing my eyes. "When I'm gone make sure she eats all her food, and make sure to help her get ready in the morning, usually the lack off food makes her dizzy and she sometimes throws up or nearly faints. Try to keep the food sim-"

"Simple or else she'll throw up and that's won't help her gain the weight she needs. I know Tris, I'm there." Tobias laughs, kissing me quickly and lifting me up causing me to squeal.

"So what do we do?" I ask him as my fingers run over each curl.

"Well we've got some time before dinner." Tobias winks, I giggle as he runs for the room and begins to kiss me.

* * *

**Homework is a pain in my ass.**

**Seriously though, I apology for not updating sooner, I actually planned to post this last friday but something came up so I was unable to. Actually I guess f you do read these author notes I might as well tell you what happened:**

**My dog had a seizure. Now I don't want to hear: "But it's JUST a dog." Seriously I've got enough of that at school. He's not JUST a dog. He's my dog, my baby, and the reason I can hardly do anything this week without worrying about his well-being. See after the seizure his muscles went pretty much stupid so he limps and can hardly jump on and off the beds like he used to. I sit in class and text my mom every hour just asking how he is. The vet said he should be fine but I've been freaking out. I think the worst part was when I learnt about the seizure it was during a play I had to attend with my class. My mom calls saying how Baloo was dying and he was bleeding from his nose and mouth. I had a panic attack because I wasn't ****allowed to leave and couldn't help but wonder: What happens if he dies and my family gets to say goodbye while I'm stuck in some good for nothing play?**

**Rants over but I'm sorry for the late updates. Stress is a b**** I guess.**

**Comment what you thought about the chapter.**

**-Valentina **


	68. Chapter 68- Always There

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 68  
Always There

My phone began to buzz on the nightstand, a light emanating from it causing me to squint from its harsh brightness. I grab the phone and pull the charger off, opening a single eye to read the contact name: Phoenix Eaton.

I glance at the clock and can read it's ten to four.

"Phoenix." I say into the phone after pressing the answer button. I nervously glance at Mara who stirs at the sounds but stays in her rest, holding onto the back of Tobias' shirt while he faces away from us.

"Mommy, I need help." Phoenix sobbed into the phone.

"Baby, what's wrong?!" I ask frantically, standing from the bed and flicking on the dim lamp. This makes Mara and Tobias awaken with confused glares.

"I was hanging out at Shauna's and I fell asleep here as an accident and Zeke's working at Amity for who knows what reasons and Shauna woke up a few minutes ago throwing up and she bleeding and I called the infirmary but I'm scared because she passed out and Izzy won't stop crying and MOMMY HELP ME!" She pleaded; I throw my hoodie on and kick my shoes on as well.

"Stay with Mara. Shauna's hurt." I tell Tobias rapidly, he nods and comforts our sleepy daughter.

"Phoenix listen to me." I say sternly to the sobbing girl. "Make sure Shauna's head is upright, check her pulse, and tap her cheek a couple of times. If she wakes up ask her questions and make sure she answers." I say, Phoenix is rapidly huffing on the other end trying to keep up with my words.

"She's breathing but it's slow!" Phoenix panics.

"I'm running right now. The infirmary usually takes longer to get their gear so I want you to now tell me how she passed out." I say.

"She was throwing up and then just passed out. I was holding her hair and she slumped forward. I placed her on her back but-"

"Phoenix breathe." I command, she takes in a few shaky breaths.

"I'm coming around the corner, is the door unlocked?"

"Yeah." She croaks.

"Okay, good. I'm here." I say, snapping my phone off and throwing it on the entrance table.

"Auntie Tris!" Izzy sobs, reaching for me. I quickly wrap her into a hug but press her back almost as fast.

"Shh, where's Phoe?" I ask, she points to the hallway bathroom.

"Phoenix!" I call, my daughter rushes from the bathroom and I see her dread. "Go comfort Izzy." I instruct, she does as told and I enter the bathroom.

"Shauna, Shauna wake up." I say, tapping her cheek and holding her wrist with two fingers. I rise when she doesn't budge and grab a cloth, soaking it in cold water and covering her hot head.

"Where is she?" A person asks, probably from the infirmary.

"Over here!" I call, wiping my friends face and looking at her pale features.

"We've got it miss." A man says, I step away and allow them to set her up on the stretcher.

I walk over to the two crying girls and both run into my embrace.

"Shh, she's going to be alright." I promise, kissing both heads and looking over my shoulder as Shauna is rushed out of the apartment.

"You girls did good calling the infirmary." I say, looking over both their frightened expressions.

"I'm scared of what will happen to mommy." Izabel says as though she were talking to herself. Her words a whisper and she watched the floor.

"She'll get some medicine and be as good as new." I promise the small girl, wrapping her in a new hug and kissing the 13-year-old girl's hair. She barely met my height and I knew she'd be short from the start.

"Now, you two go and calm down a little. I'm going to clean up and then make you some tea, yeah?" They nod and head for the living room while I go to the bathroom first. I toss in the many tissues surrounding the sink, most blood covered, into the vomit filled toilet. I flush it and work on wiping down the toilet and sink edge with disinfected wipes.

I grab the small cloth I used on Shauna and the large towel that Phoenix used to clean and head for the washing machine. I toss them in and head for Zeke and Shauna's room. I now realize Phoenix's freak out. Blood stained the bed cover and the floor, it almost looked like a massacre scene. I get to work using the wipes to clean the floor and striping the bed, throwing them in the wash as well and using the back up sheets I know Shauna keeps in the bottom drawer of her and Zeke's dresser to cover the bed. Everything was well cleaned so I grab her some new clothes and head to the kitchen where I begin to make tea while the laundry works.

"You guys should sleep after this. Phoe maybe stay with Izzy tonight while I go and check on Shauna." I suggest as water boils.

"I want to go too." Izabel demands, I give a gentle smile.

"Sweetie it's far too late. You need to rest and your mom wouldn't be pleased to know that I was keeping you at an infirmary at 5 in the morning. I promise to call the moment anything happens." I say, Izabel nods in defeat and plays with the end of her long blonde braid.

"Daddy isn't here. He should have been here."

"Sweetie he had work, I'll be sure to call him and tell him about what happens. By tomorrow he will be home. I promise."

"Don't worry, I called while you cleaned and he said he was taking the train as soon as they turn back on at 5:30. He should be here around 6ish." Phoenix says, I smile at her and grab the boiled water.

"Good girl." I say, pouring the mugs and grabbing what I needed. I add two mint leaves per mug and squirt a little honey in.

"This should help you both sleep." I say, handing them a mug and cleaning up the pot. Both girls sip on the water with sleepy eyes, the mint and honey concoction obviously lulling them into a calmer serenity.

"Thanks Auntie Tris." Izabel says, handing me her mug and giving me a hug before heading to her room.

"Thanks for coming mom." Phoenix says as I clean the mug.

"That's my job. You called so I came." I say with a small wink.

"I should have handled that better. I scared Izzy in the process and it just got crazy."

"You did just fine, baby. I'm glad you called." I say, kissing her forehead and running my fingers over her red hair.

"It's good that you were here when this happened to Shauna. I can't imagine what little Izzy would do all alone as her mom threw up." I say, shaking my head at the thought. "Thank you for being so brave."

"I wasn't brave." Phoenix says shamefully.

"You were very brave." I say back quickly, taking her chin in my hand and making her look at me. "All my kids are brave but you were especially so today. You practically saved Shauna's life. That's a lot of bravery for someone in this situation." I say.

She smiles a gentle grin and says, "Thanks mom." I kiss her forehead and usher her towards the room where Izabel sleeps.

"Good night my beauties." I say before shutting the door and grabbing Shauna's clothing from the counter. I shut the lights off and leave the apartment, locking it with Shauna's key and heading straight to the infirmary.

"Shauna Pedrad." I say, tapping my fingers on the receptionist desk.

"Room 2 dear." The lady replies, I smile and head for the appropriate room.

When I enter Shauna is sleepily listening to a nurse talk about something involving trains as she sets up an IV bag.

"Well I'll let you two talk. I'll be back soon to check on you Shauna." The nurse leaves and Shauna looks at me sadly.

"Hey Hot Pants." I say, using the nickname we use towards one another.

"Hey Sweet Cheeks." Shauna weakly smiles, a small laugh emanating from her.

"Want to tell me what happened?" I ask her, laying next to her on the bed and looking at the ceiling like my friend.

"I got sick, something went wrong and…" She takes in a long breath and turns to look at me. I stare back and nod slightly. "I had a miscarriage Tris." She says, my heart clenches.

"Oh Shauna…" I say but I know no words can fix that feeling. Her eyes fill with tears and she swallows hard to suppress them.

"It was my fault, I didn't even know I was expecting and-"

"You don't have to explain. These things happen even if we do everything right." I promise, her tears fall and I can only do one thing that I know would comfort her. I wrap and arms around her back and hug her close so she can sob and release all her sadness.

"I've wanted another baby-" She says, gulping her sobs and choking on them.

"I know." I say, stroking her hair and rubbing her back.

"What will Zeke say?" She asks in horror.

"He'll understand. He's a good guy." I remind her.

"A good guy who lost the baby that we've worked 10 years for. It's never going to happen, is it?" She asks, sadly.

"You don't know that. Look at Mar, she was declared infertile and is now expecting her second child. That's called hope." I say, Shauna nods and returns to sobbing.

An hour later a knock on the door indicates the arrival of Zeke.

"Hey babe." Zeke says, I slide away, squeezing Shauna's hand one last time before she wraps herself into Zeke. "Everything will be alright. Shh, I love you. I'm so glad you're alright." I slip from the room and hug the man waiting to comfort me at the entrance. My Tobias is always there.

* * *

**GUYS GUYS GUYS BIG NEWS:**

**1) I will be racing in a quad (Boat of 4) In the 5K at the rowing regatta two weeks from now**

**2) My amazing mother has managed to find all PLL books for only $50.00 when they really should be $192.00  
Like what?  
And as an additional offer I'm getting two collectors books **

**3) I have a huge map of Canada due in Social Studies but I love it **

**4) My brother is giving me his record player  
**

**5) I have no school Friday (It's my schools Walkathon) **

**6) I noticed my 6 pack becoming more prominent  
I've been working for abs ever since I was 12 and began rowing. All varsity women have it and I've been wanting to have that kind of body**

**7) My mom is getting a job after years of being a stay at home mom (I'm SOOOOO Proud of her!)**

**That's it, but I'm happy. I haven't felt this happy in a long time. My dog made me sad but I've found ways to help him when he needs it and make sure he's safe at all times without the stress on myself.**

**Comment what you've thought of this chapter :)**

**-Valentina **


	69. Chapter 69- That's Life

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 69  
That's Life

"Morning sweetheart." I say as my red-haired daughter enters the kitchen that I currently make coffee in. Mara was sitting on the counter, one leg hanging over while the other sat neatly in a half cross-legged position.

Phoenix wore a pair of leggings and a large sweatshirt, one I was sure belonged to Alex.

"Morning." Phoenix replied sleepily, resting both elbows on the counter and smiling at Mara. She ran two sleeve covered hands over her face but looked up at me with great speed. "How's Shauna today?" She asked pensively.

"Fine, Izabel is staying with Lynn and Ronnie until she is well enough to go home." After Shauna's miscarriage the previous night Phoenix worried herself to the point of getting sick after staying the night with Izabel and leaving her with Lynn yesterday. She then came to the apartment and I knew she was ill. Her face was pale and she shook almost as bad as Mara did. So I insisted my daughter stay and sleep in her bed while Tobias and I kept Mara with us so her nightmares won't wake her and Mara won't catch whatever Phoenix has.

"How do you feel?" I ask, walking around the counter and placing my hand over her forehead and cheek. They were warm but not hot.

"Fine." Phoenix forces a fake smile and drops it immediately. I stare at her with knowing eyes and she snaps. "It's just a little scary still." She admits, I wrap my arms around her and give a gentle squeeze.

"You love Shauna very much, only a person as kindhearted as you would be this way." I say, stroking her hair and watching her eyes again. She still has the same eyes as Tobias: dark blue, with a depth that makes it seem like the deepest ocean or widest galaxy.

"Thanks." She smiles a small grin and I kiss her forehead before returning to the coffee.

"Want a cup? Your dad is showering and God knows what Ezra is doing so we might not leave for breakfast for a while."

"Okay." I pour three mugs and set Tobias' aside. Before taking the mug to Phoenix I open the cabinet and draw out the chocolate.

"Here we go." I say, placing down the mug and offering the chocolate to the girls.

"Thank you." Mara chirps, I squeeze her toes making her giggle.

"Hey Ari, do you know how chocolate is made?" Phoenix asks, breaking off a piece and placing the tip of it in her mouth so it hangs by her teeth.

"Daddy said that it's milk with cocoa and it's left to harden in a freezer." Mara says with a slight furrow of her eyebrows. She was questioning her own thoughts now.

"Did you know that the milk was already chocolate though?" Phoenix says past the chocolate piece.

"That's not possible." Mara laughs.

"Yes it is!" Phoenix contradicts. "Those black and white cows make white milk and the brown ones make chocolate." I can see the sly grin that all my kids inherited.

"Nu-uh!" Mara says, shaking her head.

"Uh-hu!" Phoenix fights back making the two laugh.

"Then how is strawberry milk made?" Mara asks, she's to damn good sometimes.

"Pink cows of course." Phoenix says, with a wave of dismissiveness and sly wink.

"That's just silly." Mara shakes her head in displeasure, tossing her hands in defeat.

"Enough taunting your sister with pink cows. Go shower." I say with a laugh, taking Mara from the counter and placing her on the floor.

"Fine. Hey Ari, did you also know that horses poop rainbows?" I'm about to say something but Phoenix is off, running with giggles escaping her as she takes refuge in the bathroom.

"Is that true momma?" Mara asks, crossing her arms in confusion.

"Phoenix is just pulling your tail. Non of that is true except for black and white cows making white milk." I promise her, kissing her forehead and hopefully relieving her frustration. "Why don't you go read for a little?" I suggest, holding the back of her head as she walks for the living room.

"Okay." She agrees, kneeling by the bookshelf and picking out a book to read. I head for my room once she's settled on the couch and open the door with great hope to see my husband.

"Hey Lovely." He is dressed in jeans a shirt yet to be put on.

"Hi." I smile, going next to him and leaning on the side of the dresser. He opens a drawer and extracts a black v-neck. My fingers play with the necklace around my neck from Christmas as I watch his perfect arms flex.

"What time are you done work today?" I ask, straightening up when he's dressed and walking up to him, her wraps his arms over my hips.

"It might be a late shift." He says, I frown in displeasure. Late shift can mean times past 10pm and I always feel bad for him because then we get up at 6am the next day and do it all again.

"How late might you have to go tonight?" I ask worriedly, my fingers trace the muscles in his back.

"Maybe 2am at the latest. I can't be sure. How about you call me before Mara goes to sleep so I can say goodnight to her and Ezra and possibly Phoenix if she stays another night."

"Okay." I agree.

"I should know by then an accurate time, but you can always call me at any time." He adds.

"I know, and believe me, I will bombarded you with phone-calls if you work later than he future time you give me." I warn him.

"I expect nothing less." He grins, leaning forward and kissing me.

"I love you." I say as our foreheads press against one another's.

"I love you too." He says causing us to snicker and straighten up.

"Breakfast time." I say as two doors open and the bickering of Ezra and Phoenix begin.

"You snore like a pig." Phoenix says to Ezra.

"You are a pig." Ezra retorts.

"Hey, no calling one another a pig." Tobias scolds while helping Mara put away the book she was reading.

"Ezra brush your hair." I say, noticing the bed-head he wears.

"I'm fine thanks." He says with a grin.

"That wasn't an offer, that was a command. I didn't get your hair cut for you to leave it messy and go to school looking like that." I say, motioning to the amuck hair.

"Fine." He groans, turning on his heel and marching to the bathroom. When he returns his hair is brushed by his fingers but looking better.

"Alright now we can go." I say, nodding for the door. Tobias grabs his coffee before we go.

We venture down the hallway and I notice the way Mara runs her fingers in a wave up and down the walls. I heard her talking, at first I thought it was plain words but after pulling Tobias along side me a little more I could hear her joyful song.

"I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,

A poet, a pawn and a king.

I've been up and down and over and out

And I know one thing:

Each time I find myself laying flat on my face,

I just pick myself up and get back in the race

That's life

That's life and I can't deny it

Many times I thought of cutting out

But my heart won't buy it

But if there's nothing shakin' come this here july

I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die

My, My."

"I swear I never sang that one to her before." I whisper to Tobias as we both joyfully laugh at her lyrics.

"It's a Sinatra song. She probably found the record player in the closet one night." Tobias admits. The ancient music player still held a single large disk and it managed to play every so often. It surprises me that Mara got it to work and managed to remember that one song.

"Silly girl." I whisper, she continues to hum and repeats the lines, stepping just a little more pronouncedly as she says "A puppet, a pauper, a pirate, and poet, a pawn, and a king."

"I'm glad she's singing again." Tobias says.

"That's because there isn't anyone around except for us and her sister and bother. Had there been other people she'd be quiet." I say knowingly.

"I know, but it's good to hear her voice."

"Yeah." I agree, leaning into his arm and intertwining my fingers with his.

"A little more time and she'll be dancing with you and singing that very song."

"I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,

A poet, a pawn and a king.

I've been up and down and over and out

And I know one thing:

Each time I find myself laying flat on my face,

I just pick myself up and get back in the race."

I sing, shaking my hands in a jazz style to make Tobias laugh. "I'm practicing." I say, he presses his lips onto my forehead and leans to my ear.

"My little Pirate."

* * *

**Comment what you think :)**

**-Valentina **


	70. Chapter 70- Coffee, Nightmares, Reality

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 70  
Coffee, Nightmares, Reality

Mara was making progress. Her spirit rose with the days and despite slow mornings bringing her down she tends to become more lively with the passing hours. Being nearly 3 months free after the hospital obviously did some good. I took her to the weekly sessions and Tobias was always there to pick us up at 6. We went to dinner from there and afterwards we'd give Mara her 5 different medicines and put her to sleep. Just recently Claire gave us a night light for the hallway because Mara comes to our room so often.

Her health was still shaky, she was skinny and if my eyes deceived me I felt like she still loses weight opposed to gains. Chris does a check up every 2 weeks and always uses the ultra sound machine to check her vitals that managed to get an infection from the stab in her side. Her uterus was still mangled and probably of no use, Chris even began to doubt Mara being able to get her period, the damage was far too empowering. Lucky her bladder was salvaged; I would hate having to watch my daughter suffer with a bag for the rest of her life because she couldn't urinate on her own.

For now I slept, my night only disturbed once by Mara's screams. Tobias and I comforted her at 1 in the morning and she decided to sleep in her room still.

"Wake up beautiful." Tobias whispers, his hand running over my thigh while he rests on his elbow with the other.

"How much longer must we wake up early?" I ask grudgingly, flipping over and smothering my face into my pillow.

"Two more months and then school is out, work starts later." His fingers begin to crawl up my leg. "We sleep in." He entices me, tapping between each word. I sigh at these words and roll over once more, my back hitting Tobias' chest.

"That sounds nice." I say, rubbing circles over the top of his hand, watching as they do so.

"For now my love, we must wake up. Come on." He kisses me behind the ear and I giggle from the feeling.

"Okay." I sigh, rising from the bed and walking to the bathroom. Tobias gets to work making the bed and calling for Ezra to move it.

I shower quickly, running my fingers through my short blonde locks of hair with conditioner.

As I exit the bathroom I feel the scent of coffee hit, Tobias must have been really tired to want it immediately.

"Tobias make the coffee strong." I call, he laughs from the kitchen and I close the door in the room to change. I dress in a simple pair of skinny jeans and a short-sleeve.

"Couldn't wait for me?" I ask him as I enter the kitchen.

"Sorry, long night and if I had to wait for both of us to shower in order to get some caffeine in me I think I'd die."

"Please don't die on me." I exasperate, taking his cup of coffee, which he has prepared to his liking. I sip it and make a contorted face. "Way too much milk." I say, handing the cup back as he laughs. He hands me a clean mug and I fill it to the top.

"Much better." I say, sipping the plain black beverage.

"That is very gross." Tobias says in disgust, standing up straight from the counter he leant on.

"But it wakes me up." I sigh happily, setting down my mug and sitting on the counter edge.

"Phoenix got your coffee ways, I swear that girl manages the most bitter of things."

"I train my children well." I wink, Tobias just shakes his head with a smile playing on his lips.

"Well I'm going to shower. Can you manage not to ruin Ezra's drinking habits in the mean time?"

"I can only try." I say, waving my mug. Tobias laughs and presses his lips onto mine, our heights made more reasonable by my sitting on the counter. He walks off and I notice the dim light of the bathroom of the kids illuminate the hallway slightly.

Ezra enters the kitchen and gives me his lop-sided grin.

"Good morning."

"Morning mom." Ezra replies, opening the cabinet and taking his mug.

"You drink coffee now?" I ask him as he pours himself a mug.

"Umm not really. I just need something to wake me up. We have a Math exam." He explains, blowing a small stream of air into his hot mug.

"Good luck with that." I say, raising my mug causing a snicker from my son. "I'm going to check on your sister, she's usually awake by now." I say with a shake of my head, Ezra is tipping the mug up into his mouth and as I turn the corner I hear his repugnance to the bitter coffee.

"Bleh! What the hell? This is the worst thing I've ever had!" Ezra says in a sharp tone.

"You are your dad's son!" I call to him, entering the room farthest on the right.

As soon as I enter the room a scent assaulted my nose, urine was the first thought. Rapidly I place my mug on the dresser and run to my daughter's side. Had the smell not existed I would've thought she was perfectly normal in the way she slept. One arm clutching her bunny in a fist, the other hanging freely. Her body half twisted and her lips slightly parted as her dark eyelashes casted heavy shadows.

"Mara." I whisper, moving her hair aside and touching her hot forehead. "Mara, sweetie wake up." I say frantically, shaking her upper arm. "TOBIAS!" I call hysterically, flipping over our daughter and revealing her half bruised cheek with four claw marks near her eye that were about 4 centimeters long. Blood marked her once white pillowcase and it smudged in a disturbing way along her fair skinned face. The door swung open and Ezra stood at the entry, shock unraveling in his features at the sight.

"Go get your dad." I instruct, shaking Mara's arm again and repeating her name.

"Get OFF!" Mara suddenly screeches, shoving my arm away. "Leave me alone." She sobbed, throwing her arms around in fear, I have already backed away in surprise.

"You're hurting me. Stop! Get it out!" She screamed louder, kicking her legs and shoving the blanket to the ground. Tobias enters now in a pair of jeans and still wet hair and skin. He sees the astonishingly crazy situation unravel.

"Mara, wake up!" I cry helplessly, afraid to touch her again. Tobias immediately goes to her side.

"Princess, it's me, daddy. Shh you're okay. It's just a dream. It's just a dream." He wraps his large arms around her and prevents her flailing to go on.

"No-" She sobbed, shaking her head. "No more-" She choked, Tobias smushed her and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"Wake up, open your eyes and they'll disappear." Tobias coaxed, Mara began to blink.

"Daddy?" She whimpered, Tobias nodded and held her closer.

"Yeah baby, you're alright." He promised her, she cuddled into his familiar embrace.

"I was scared." She tells him, her breathing still rigid as she sobbed and choked on her own words.

"It's gone. No one will hurt you anymore." He calms her, Mara nods along to his words.

For 10 minutes Tobias and I sat on the end of her bed, my hand being in her grip while Tobias holds the same tight squeeze on her to remind her that she is safe in his arms.

"Momma my face burns." She tells me, her fingers reaching to touch the scratches.

"Don't touch, it will hurt more." I tell her as I rise to strip the bloody pillow and the wet under sheet from the bed.

"I saw them," Mara begins, everyone looks to her expectantly. Never once had she truly explained these type of nightmares that make her have a panic attack. Even Ezra stops from leaving and listens to his sister. "Drew, Peter, Antony, Rick, Caleb. They're coming back for me." She insists. My heart clenches at Caleb's name. He's in jail for 50 years for the torture of a child, but he never raped her so his sentence was lightened.

"Sweetie they're in jail. They will never be able to get out." Tobias insists

"But they are out. My mind doesn't put them in jail." She replies, her words not corresponding with her real age.

"How can we put them away from your memories?" I ask, sitting back down with the pillowcase on my lap.

"I don't know." She shrugs, I watch as her hand reaches for her left wrist. Her wrist is as bruised as her cheek.

"Sweetie, if you think there's a way you should tell us. Don't hurt yourself because you're afraid to say what might work." Tobias reminds her, covering her wrist with his hand before she can grasp it.

"I don't know." She says again, looking at Tobias this time but withdrawing her hand.

"Okay, come on. Let's go get that cheek cleaned up." I say, noticing her pensive behavior towards the topic. She reaches for me and I pull her from Tobias' lap. Her feet meet the ground and she walks with me to her washroom where I flip on the tap in the shower and strip her of her wet clothes.

"Sorry I wet the bed." She whispers, looking to her pants.

"That's alright. Nothing a little wash can't fix." I say, poking her belly button and making her giggle.

"Okay into the shower little girl." I say, nodding for her to get in. Every now and then on those late mornings when Tobias needs to shower I allow Mara to shower on her own while standing by in case she gets too dizzy.

"Is the temperature good?" I ask her once she begins to stand under the steaming liquid.

"Yup." She nods, running her fingers over her hair and turning around to wet her face.

"Alright I'm going to go throw in your bedding and pajamas into the wash, can you handle yourself for a few minutes?" I ask, she nods confidently and I leave, moving as fast as possible to clean up her room and set the wash up with everyone's pajamas and her bedding. Right before returning I grab her a pair of skinny jeans and a black tank top.

"All done in here?" I ask, peaking in and watching as she wraps the towel over her shoulders.

"All done." She announces proudly, stepping out and turning her head to see her reflection. Her faint smile drops and she touches tentative fingers to her cheek.

"Did I do it?" She asks me.

"Yeah. You were scared though."

"It makes me ugly." She says in a whisper.

"No it doesn't. Nothing could ever make you ugly." I say sternly, going on my knees and grabbing her shoulders. "When I look at you I see my beautiful blue eyed baby girl that has a smile that can light up this whole world. I see a brave raven that flies higher with every passing day. I see a great sister to her siblings, and little girl to her daddy. Someone who forgives when they don't have too, and someone with compassion and honesty well past her years. You are wise and loving and a gift to this earth. In no way can you be ugly!" She gives a small smile to me and I melt slightly. "I love you little raven. Nothing can change that." I remind her, she cuddled into my embrace and allows me to lift her off the ground.

"I love you too momma." She whispers, I kiss her head and place her on the sink edge.

"Time to get dressed." I chime, helping her into her clothes and brushing out her long hair.

"I want my hair to be like yours and Phoe's." Mara informs me as she touches a strand of my short hair.

"No you don't. You have beautiful long hair." I say, turning her around so I can get the back.

"Yeah but you and Phoe are so pretty."

"And so are you." I add, she blushes and touches her curl.

"Besides, it's not everyday that you see someone with such soft lavender smelling hair." I add.

"Okay." She smiles proudly.

"Hey ladies." Tobias knocks on the door, I open it so he can peek in. "I've got some medicine for Mara." He says, opening his hand and revealing the 5 assorted pills. I take them and open the door the rest of the way. He holds a glass of water for her and awaits for the first pill to go in her mouth.

"One at a time. Good girl." I say, she sips water and swallows the first of five down. The same is done for the last four and then I open the first aid kit.

"Are you hungry?" I ask her, tearing an alcohol swab pack open.

"Kind of. My tummy doesn't feel too good though." She admits, I begin to blow air onto her cheek as I run the small soaked cloth over her cuts.

"Is it because of your nightmare?" I ask her, she nods in confirmation to my question and cringes away from the swab. "Almost done." I dab her cheek twice more and then toss it away, smiling at the now clean wounds.

"All done. Go ask daddy for an ice pack while I make sure your brother is okay." I usher her from the room and head for the still closed door of my son. He darted into his room after Mara woke up; he seemed rather shaken by her screams.

"Ezra?" I question his presence in the room as I press open the door and look to his desk. He sat in the swivel chair with a pencil tapping the wood as he turned back and forth.

"Is she okay now?" He asks tightly, not even glancing at me.

"Yeah. Just a little tired and scared. Are you alright?" I ask, he smirks at the question and stops the turning of his chair.

"Am I okay? Mara just had a huge panic attack and you're asking if I'm okay?" He asks in disbelief.

"Well yeah, you're my son and I had to make sure that you felt okay."

"Please mom, no one has asked if I've been okay for months. I wake up, eat with my siblings, go to school, come home, do my homework, go to the pit until dinner, eat dinner with my siblings, go to the pit until curfew and then go to bed. Occasionally you come by to the table and ask if I'm eating my food. This morning was the closest thing I got to telling you what's going on in my life! You won't care that I almost fell off the train a week ago or had an older kid shove me against a locker and I beat the shit out of him. Or that I had to find Izable outside of school crying because Zeke and Shauna got in another fight AGAIN! Damn it mom, where were you when I threw my book into that wall, or failed three tests but got perfects on all my English papers? Don't ever waltz into my room and ask if I'm "okay" because I'm not! I'm far from okay, I feel like hell but I go to school everyday, I stay out of trouble and work my ass off to make you and dad proud! I will be forever grateful to the fact my little sister is alive and healthy but I will always wonder where was my mom and dad when I needed them most. I will always wonder why they say "I love you" when it never shows."

"Ezra, you can't honestly believe that I lie when I say I love you!" I demand as I snatch that damn annoying pencil from his hand.

"I know you do." He sneers.

"What do you want from me Ezra!? You don't think I'm tired too? Or sad? Or scared? Or wondering why the hell I can't be there for all my kids because I'm always on my toes that my youngest one is at the doorstep of death and is lucky to be outside the hospital. Damn it Ezra I want to be there for you! It kills me to hear you cry at night and to lose your head over your homework. But I can't be there because I feel that taking my sights off Mara for a few minutes could be those last moments I got to be with her before she shuts her eyes and stops living. The doctors say everything is good to not scare her but she's sick and she's still dying. I don't want to scare you but imagine if you were dying and had to be alone those last few breathes. If you were at the brink of death I'd be hovering over you because I love the hell out of all four of my kids but you know what? I know you will wake up tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. I know that I will see yours and Phoenix's and Damien's beautiful smiles every morning and every night but I can't say the same for Mara. It's only been 3 months and she is still broken. She won't be fixed, it's near impossible. One morning she'll stay sleeping and then you will get all the bloody attention you want Ezra but for now let me love her because she's-" I break down into sobs and fall on my knees. "She's- she'll leave me and I'll be lost without my little raven."

* * *

**I am not going to make excuses for the lack of updating except for the fact that school is a b****! So much homework and my Social Studies teacher literally has NO mercy. I've have 3 PROJECTS IN 3 weeks! Like seriously woman whatever happened to simple quizzes and tests?  
**

**I love you all! Please forgive my failed attempt at being a good fandom member, I think Im flunking at the moment. **

**Anyways here's chapter 70. A little drama, a little cuteness. Comment about it, I seriously LOVE all of your kind words. **

**-Valentina **


	71. Chapter 71- Even When We Try We May Fail

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 71  
Even When We Try, We May Fail

After my melt down in front of Ezra he became more considerate. He'd pitch in with Mara a lot more and did everything he'd do on his part to talk with me about his life between the moments Mara was napping or watching a movie.

"Mom, Mara doesn't understand her math homework. I can hardly explain it to her without my head spinning. Can you help her and I'll finish the laundry?"

"Sure buddy. Mind calling your dad? He said he'd check on Phoenix since she wasn't at breakfast."

"Alright." Ezra entered the room the rest of the way and drew his phone from his pocket while throwing himself down on the bed and dialing Tobias' number. He waves me off as I head over to Mara and stroke her braid.

"How's the homework going lady bug?" I ask her, she sighs in dismay and points to the number seven.

"I don't get it, how do you subtract seven from ten?"

"Here use your fingers." I instruct, lifting ten of her fingers and counting together as I press seven of them down.

"So it's three?" She questions.

"Yes, it's really easy if you use your fingers and if you don't have enough then draw light lines on the paper and put an x over them." I say, taking a seat next to her and beginning on the next question.

"Mom, dad said that Phoenix didn't go to work this morning and she's not picking up so…" Ezra trailed with his speech and I knew he had no clue what to do next.

"Alright thanks Ezra. Do you mind staying with Mara for a while? Mara you don't have to finish the homework yet, I'll be back to help you in a minute." I reassure her, pecking both their forehead before leaving the apartment and jogging to the stairs.

"Phoenix, open the door." I say, knocking on the apartment and tapping my foot in both concern and annoyance. She knows better than to scare us like this. I knock once more and try the knob, luckily she learned to keep it unlocked. I should really talk to her about that.

"Phoenix." I call again, entering the dark place with careful steps. I eye the living room and kitchen as I walk past to her room. Her bed was unmade and clothes scattered the floor, which certainly wasn't new. But then I noticed the gentle stream of light entering from the bathroom.

"Phoenix?" I now question, nudging the door open lightly and recoiling at the horrid scent. "Honey, what happened?" I asked, running to her side and kneeling by her sweat-covered head.

"I drank too much." She admits weakly, trembling in her hot body.

"Phoenix," I say in a reprimanding tone. She knew better than to over drink on a work night.

"Alex and I were fighting so I just went to party in the pit to take my mind off things." She quickly explains, her eyes not shifting once from the door she's been watching. I noticed her red puffy eyes fill with tears again and instantly rose from the ground. I flushed the toilet and soaked a towel in cold water before stepping over her body and sitting against the tub with my legs crossed.

"Come here baby." I whisper, patting my legs as she scoots her head over and lays it back down on my lap.

"I saw him with another girl after work yesterday and when I confronted him-we, we got in this big fight-a-and he thought I was cheating and we were screaming..." Phoenix sobbed, I simply hushed her and began to run the towel under her eyes and over her forehead.

I continue the soothing motion with the towel, stroking it over her hairline, as she cries and shakes with every sob.

"Why didn't you come home if you were upset?" I finally question, despair working into my tone as I try to calm my hurt daughter.

"I just wanted to forget. I didn't want it to be real so I went out to have fun." She whispers, inhaling sharply and flipping on her side. I notice how she curls into herself with her head still on my lap.

"Are you still sick or do you think you can walk back to the apartment?" I ask, placing down the towel and tucking her red curls behind her ear.

"Can we stay for a minute?" She asks me, I nod at her request and comb through her hair with my fingers, humming the gentle tune of a lullaby in the mean time.

"Mom?" Her whisper of my name cuts off the tune.

"Yes baby?"

"Mommy I want to come home. I don't want to be alone anymore." She chokes out, sitting up with pain etched on her features. "I need you and dad."

"Our door has always been open. You can come and stay for as long as you'd like." I wrap her into an embrace and kiss her sweet smelling hair.

"Thank you."

~.~.~

"Slowly now, don't move to fast." I say as I hold the elbows of Phoenix and carefully walk her into the apartment. She cringed with each step, her queasy stomach not managing the leftover alcohol so well.

"Momma, what's wrong with Phoe?" Mara asks from the couch, she had turned around to face her sister and was nearly standing up in concern.

"She's sick sweetie. She's going to be staying here for a little while." I assure her, hugging Phoenix's waist as she swayed.

"Bucket." Phoenix managed to croak, I immediately de-toured for the kitchen and stopped her in front of the sink.

"I'm going to read in your room." Mara decides, covering her eyes with a hand as she quickly picks a book and runs away from the retched scene.

"Shh, good girl. You're almost done." I whisper to my vomiting daughter as I rub her back and hold back her curls. While the vomiting continues I pull up my phone and press Tobias' contact.

"Hey Sweetie." His voice says after two rings.

"Hi, Phoe's here and she's sick. Can you get Danny to cover the rest of your shift?" I ask quickly as I attempt to hold Phoenix's hair, press my phone to my ear with my shoulder and reach for the paper towels.

"Yeah, is she okay?" Tobias asks with worry as I hear him puffing around the control room.

"She's throwing up. I'll explain later. Just come here as soon as you can." I say, tearing a paper towel piece and wiping Phoenix's mouth.

"Okay, love you."

"Love you too." I say, releasing the phone from my shoulder and allowing it to clatter to the counter. "Come on sweetie, let's get you to bed." I say, promptly pulling her warm body after me.

"I'm sorry." She whimpers as we manage to walk down the hallway.

"It's okay, just try to calm down." I stroke her arm and lead her into the sun lit room.

"It's too bright."

"I'll close the curtains in a moment." I promise, laying her down carefully and pulling a light blanket up to her ribs. Once she's rested on the bed I rush to close the curtains and grab a wet cloth from the bathroom. "Call if you need anything." I kiss her cheek and leave the room, heading next door to Ezra's room.

"Hey bud, I was going to put a movie. Want to come watch?" I ask as he looks up from his phone.

"Sure." He nods, rising from his bed and shoving his phone into his pocket.

"Who were you texting?" I ask, he smirks at my nosiness.

"Izzy." He says with a small laugh.

"Really? How was she?" I ask, knocking him with my hip.

"Fine, she's with Piper right now babysitting Thalia."

"You can join them if you want. Mara and I will be fine until your dad can come home and check on Phoe." I offer, he contemplates my words and looks back to me.

"Are you sure?" He questions, stopping at the kitchen.

"Why not? Chris wouldn't mind and Mara's got a check up before dinner so you wouldn't have to be alone with Phoe sick like this. Go, have fun." I say, pressing him out the door as he gives me a quick hug.

"Bye. Thanks." He waves and runs down the hall, I giggle and close the door, heading back to my room.

"Hey Raven." I open the door and Mara looks up from her book with a small worried smile.

"Is Phoe okay?" She asks, placing her book down on her lap and sitting up from the pillows.

"She will be. What you reading?" I ask, plopping down next to her and lifting the book up.

"The Warlock of Utopia." I say out loud, scanning the words. "Is it good?" She crinkles her nose.

"Not really, but I never leave a book half read."

"Well what do you say to a movie before your check up?" I suggest, handing her the book and watching her shaky grip take it and place the bookmark back into place.

"Okay." She nods, tossing her braid behind her back and climbing off the bed. I rise after her and we both leave for the living room, she jumps back when the apartment door opens suddenly.

"Hi, is she okay?" Tobias asks quickly, kissing me and then Mara on the forehead.

"She's asleep. Mara why don't you pick a movie while I talk to your dad about Phoe?" I suggest, she nods and heads off to the living room while I half drag Tobias to our room.

"Something is wrong." I say with a shake of my head.

"What's wrong? Did she say anything?" Tobias questions, glancing to the door.

"When I found Phoenix she was shaking and crying and saying how she saw Alex with another girl and that she went out to party to forget about what happened. She drank a lot of alcohol and so that's possibly why she's throwing up this much."

"Possibly?" Tobias repeats.

"Possibly as in it could be alcohol or it could be…."

"It could be what Tris?" Tobias urges angrily. I knew this anger was directed to Alex, not me. He was worried, and being the classic over protective father.

"Look I noticed her calendar."

"Geez Tris. Screw the calendar! Tell me what's wrong." He demands.

"Phoenix always put a small red dot on the days she had her period. I remember that because she's been doing it since she got her period at the age of 13. It's always started on the Wednesday of the third week of every month. Her calendar was clear when I saw it today."

"Meaning?" Tobias asks skeptically.

"Meaning that we are almost into April Tobias and she still hasn't gotten her period."

"Wait. Do you think she's pregnant?" Tobias whispers, crossing his arms over his chest and stepping forward.

"Yes, but I need to ask Chris when I take Mara for her appointment. She'll know what else could cause late periods and throwing up." I say, approaching my husband the rest of the way and placing my hand on his face. "If she is please don't take it out on her. I can still remember being scared and frightened when I learnt about the twins. I know you're angry but be gentle." I say, wiping the tear that began to trickle down his face.

"I promise. But Tris, she's still so young. We had to protect her from things like this and we failed."

"We also had to protect Damien from his lungs and that's out of control. We had to protect Ezra from his dyslexia but we failed to do that as well. We had to protect Mara from those men but we failed in doing that as well. Yes, we failed but all of those situations are and forever will be out of our control. Phoenix is almost 18, she can make her own decisions and knew the consequences of doing certain things. We couldn't protect her forever Tobias, we can't beat ourselves up because of that." I say, a single tear rolling down my cheek as well as Tobias saddens even more.

"I want to kill him." He seethes slightly, I simply remove my hand from his cheek and slip it into his hand. I can feel the rough skin beneath mine and enjoy the smooth edges of each finger.

"Think about her before you doing something drastic." I warn, stepping even closer so then my body is against his.

"I've made mistakes Tris, but you've managed to know whether it was a good or bad one." He whispers, wrapping his arms around me and pressing his lips onto my head.

"I love you." I mumble into his chest.

"I love you too." He replies, running a hand over my hair and swaying us slowly.

"Daddy, Phoe is throwing up." A voice peeps from the door. We both look to see Mara standing with the door opened slightly and her little head peaking in.

"Maybe we should skip out on the movie today, Pumpkin. What if your mom takes you to the doctor early while I deal with Phoe?" Tobias suggests, walking with me to the door and scooping Mara into his arms.

"Okay, but I don't like the doctors. They always poke me with needles." She wrinkles her forehead in despair causing Tobias to chuckle.

"Your mom will hold your hand. Be brave, everything seems better when you are." He places her down again and turns to me.

"See you later." He kisses me quickly and heads to the bathroom where a very unpleasant retching continues.

"Come on, sweetie. Let's go see Chris." I offer my hand and she takes it, walking with me to the door and down the hallway to the infirmary.

* * *

**Hello my lovely readers,**

**I would like to address this message to a recent reviewer who has left 3 long reviews on my story with the untitled name: Guest. **

**Well guest let me start off by saying I respect everyones opinions, we are all free to have them and I'm not going to be a martyr to you or anyone else for that matter. I simply want to clear certain things up and go on with my life because yes, this was a very un-fair review, but no, I will not react like this every time someones comment upsets me. **

**First of all, I'd like to say that had it be me leaving someone else constructive criticism on a story they've slaved over for quite some time (28 weeks and 4 days, or 400 days) I would've had the decency to add my name. So maybe you don't have an account but I'm sure that box asking for your name gives you an opportunity to address yourself and who is offering an opinion. To me, you are just another "Guest" the name is no existent to the world.  
Second, you should recognize that you've read only 16 chapters of a now 71 chapter fanfic. I understand they are long and you have better things to do but you obviously seem to have a lot of time on your hands if you can read and then comment so much of what you think I'm doing wrong.  
Third, I'm 15. I'm in Chemistry 10 and have not been taught the exact biology of a fetus and it's development. I did little research here and there but was not willing to dedicate myself to a full blown out science lesson. I apologize for that. I got the basics down however and might I add this is in the FUTURE. How do you know they can't predict the sex of a fetus 1000 years from now? I didn't know you were psychic.  
****Fourthly, I am in AP English, so please do not go off on me how I am using the wrong term of to and too in a sentence. At the time I was writing this I was dealing with a lot of school work, and an abusive friend that caused me to hold secrets from everyone I loved. I wasn't going to sit for an hour and edit every dam TO and TOO in the story. I sat, wrote, published, and went on with my life.  
I'm done with numbering off what I had to say but now it's my turn to give a must needed opinion:**

**Veronica Roth made most of the characters in this story, she developed them through three books and we learned a lot about each and every one of them. I began my story before the war and developed these characters to have what I believe would develop my story! MY STORY! My words, my thoughts, only they weren't from my initial plot. Veronica Roth gave me a platform and I built up from it and created a sky scraper of what I thought was pretty damn relatable. I wasn't going for a typical teenage drama story because this isn't what a typical teenager goes through. These aren't typical teenagers. These are young adults dealing with love, and happiness, and hard ache, and reality. Besides, had these been high school teenagers they would have to be in high school and they'd have to be as blind as you are to the story line. I made 375 people like this story and over 900 comments of only positive reviews. What have you done? Pointed out my story's flaws after you read 16 chapters and had to stop because the story was a typical teenage drama? Wrote three long review on everything that I did wrong when I only intended on doing something right? Good for you, I applaud you and all you've done. You proved that people can be mean and leave reviews that others will read and judge my story on. I can't delete them, and even if I could what would it make me if I did? A person who can't take constructive ****criticism? Those comments stay up and I can only tell you one last thing even if you never read this and go on with your life like you've done nothing:**

**I write because there are days when I feel like words are the only things that can get me through. I don't write for you, or my family, or my friends, or to get attention. I write for people who wanted a different Divergent where they didn't lose Tris, and got a whole new world of happiness. I write because I know that the mistakes I make now only help me develop my skills for the future. I know that one day I will do something great enough to show I am more that just someone to take everything out on. I will continue to write my emotions out through these characters that I've developed and I will continue to share a story with laughter, and tears, and love, and passion because I know that the 191,592 views that have read this will have this moment of feeling alive and free if only for a scentence or two because like it or not words do that. They help people feel good and you may not have enjoyed what I've written but you can't say you didn't read at least one line from those first 16 chapters and smiled because you knew that it was a good moment for that character. Thank you for your honesty, but remember that a judgement of that size that can cause an explosion that will never bother you again but can stick with someone who worked so hard forever.**

**-Valentina **


	72. Chapter 72- Sensitive Subject Matter

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 72  
Sensitive Subject Matter

"And how are her urination patterns?"

"Fine, she goes appropriately. At least that's what I think." I answer, tapping my foot in utter annoyance. Chris had an emergency surgery to deal with so we got stuck with Doctor Who-Ha over here. Okay so his real name is Doctor Belanger but the name I've given him seems rather fitting for the way he's taking care of this appointment.

"How'd this happen?" He questions, taking Mara's chin and tilting her head to the light slightly.

"She had a very vivid nightmare almost a week ago and scratched her face. Look I'm going to be honest right now. My daughter is looking uncomfortable and I would really appreciate it if you had little physical contact with her."

"I'm just doing my job Mrs. Eaton."

"Yes, but she has a fear towards assertive touching especially when men do it. So I please ask you again to release her chin and let her have a little space." I say, glancing at my daughter's fear filled eyes.

"If the way I am doing my job is not comforting for either one of you then you can wait for Dr. Draho to return from the surgery room." He says with anger leaching into every word.

"Gladly." I retort, taking Mara into my arms and leaving the room faster than light itself with her clothes in my hand.

_**Tobias' POV**_

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask Phoenix as she hugs a blanket around her shoulders and sits next to me on the couch. Her hands grasp the mug I gave her with tea.

"Umm… I don't know if I can." She manages to say with tears flooding her eyes, she blinks to fight them back and swallows hard.

"Why not Sweetie?" My hand rises and I tuck a strand of hair that was forgotten from her ponytail behind her ear.

"I'm scared." She admits, turning her head to face me. "I don't know how to explain everything to you and mom. I'm afraid you'll be disappointed in me." She admits, dropping her eyes to her tea and back up to me again.

"Phoenix," I say with a slight desperation in my tone. "you didn't really go to a party did you?" I ask knowingly.

"No, I lied to mom about that. I really did see Alex with another girl though, so I ran home and just wallowed with sadness. He came over thinking I didn't see anything and acted normal. I got mad and we yelled aw-awful things at each other. Ho-How can I ever forgive him for calling me a whore?" She asks in a choking sob.

"Princess," I begin, taking her into my arms and holding her head to my chest.

"How can he forgive me for saying he had no family?" She asks painfully, clutching my shirt in her hand.

"Honey, those are things that you can only forgive one another for. Those words are out there but-"

"But they were lies!" She demands, shaking with another sob. "I was his family. I promised to be his family."

"And some promises will be broken in life. Did you guys even try to talk?" I ask, not wanting to but probably giving Alex the benefit of the doubt.

"No, we just screamed." She says in despair, sitting up once again and wiping her fingers under her eyes.

"Take some time and then talk to him. For now you need to get over whatever this thing is that is making you throw up."

"I wish I knew what it was. I've been like this for two weeks now." She says with a scoff, lifting her knees to her chest and nestling her chin between her knees.

"Phoenix I was going to wait for your mom to get back but this is a really important question that can possibly explain what you're going through." My words are skeptical and Phoenix slowly does the same eyebrow lift that Tris has passed on to her.

"Dad, I don't know where-"

"Have you and Alex been intimate?" I spit out a little to quickly and possibly loudly. We both jolt at the sound of the front door opening.

"Hey I just forgot someth-"  
"Ezra go back to Piper's please." I say, shooting him a not so pleasant glance that hopefully sent the message that he should forget what he just heard.

We wait until the door shuts, then Phoenix lifts a smirk.

"You and mom think I'm having sex?" She asks, giggling softly. "Dad it's me, Phoenix, the girl who couldn't decide which toy she wanted for her birthday so she waited months after to finally decide. I can't choose something or do something without thinking it through and intimacy takes a long time to consider despite Alex and I being together for over a year. I wanted to make sure that I was happy with doing something of that scale before actually committing to my first boyfriend like that." In that moment I could finally breathe. All the pressure in my chest dissolved and I did the first thing my mind suggested. I wrapped my arms around my wise little girl and kissed her beautiful head until I knew she understood how proud I was of her.

"Besides, if I thought I was pregnant mom would be the first to hear of it." She added.

"Well we're still worried about you. At least see a doctor, I don't want to hear something bad happens because you didn't." I reason with her, she nods and curls into a ball, placing her head onto my lap and closing her eyes.

"Thank you for being such a good dad." She says, yawning at this and falling asleep almost instantaneously.

_**Tris' POV**_

"Why do infirmaries smell yucky?" Mara asks as we sit together in a plastic chair.

"Mara." I warn with a gentle laugh, indicating it wasn't polite to express such disgust to a place like this.

"It's true. They smell really bad." She says, turning her head to face me with her winning grin. "Don't tell me you've never felt the same way about it." She says with a laugh.

"Fine, I'll admit they don't smell all to great but if we have to come here to make you better than we will just have to do it." I say, she giggles and wrinkles her nose.

"Tris," The receptionist gains my attention.

"Yeah?" I ask, looking her way.

"Chris just completed with the surgery and should be out in a minute." She reminds me, I thank her and pull up my phone.

"Whatcha doing?" Mara asks, moving her hand with mine due to the fact she was fiddling with my wedding ring just a few seconds ago.

"Calling your dad to let him know that we're about to get you checked and should be home in a little bit." I reply, taping Tobias' name and lifting the phone to my ear. Mara lays the side of her forehead against mine and sighs in boredom, swinging her leg causing my knee to shift with every move.

"Hey Sweetheart." Tobias says in a hushed tone.

"Hi, Chris is about to come check Mara so we should be home in about 20 minutes. How's Phoenix?" I ask, moving my hand up and down Mara's arm to heat up the cool skin.

"I asked her." He says warily.

"Tobias, you didn't." I say with displeasure.

"Tris she's never done it. She can't be pregnant. I think something is wrong with her. Can you ask Chris about what it might be to see if she needs to see a doctor because I'm worried about her."

"Yeah, sure. Just keep her drinking water and keep her close to a bucket or toilet." I suggest, I can tell he's nodding to my suggestions.

"Okay."

"I should go, Chris is coming out. Love you." I say quickly.

"Love you too." He hangs up so I shove my phone back in my pocket and lift Mara off my lap.

"Hi Chris." Mara slowly runs towards her and wraps her in a hug.

"Hey Munchkin. Ready for a check up?" Chris asks, Mara shakes her head 'no'. "Why not?" Chris asks with her eyebrows furrowed.

"Because I don't like doing some things in the exam." Mara says silently.

"Well what don't you like?" Chris asks, kneeling down and adjusting Mara's shifted hospital gown.

"I don't like the cooled gel or when you have to look at my privates." She admits, my stomach clenches when she says this. Chris glances up at me with uncertainty but then quickly returns to Mara.

"But if I don't do those things then I can't help you get better." Chris says, tucking some of Mara's hair behind her ear.

"I know, but I still don't like it."

"Okay, well let's go get it over with quickly so we don't have to do it for too long." Chris suggests, offering her hand, which Mara takes slowly.

We all enter the examination room and Mara knowingly seats herself on the slightly propped up table.

"Well it looks like you're already dressed." Chris jokes making Mara smile. "Now, let's see. Dr. Belanger got the simple things out of the way. Let's just get straight to the hard things." Chris decides, standing in front of Mara and pulling up a mini flashlight.

"How's the infamous tiger scratch healing?" She asks, placing the light on her cheek so she can inspect the four red claw marks.

"Good, she's been washing them in the tub every day so there doesn't seem to be any noticeable infection." I say.

"Exactly what I think." Chris agrees, removing the light and writing down a little note on the page for Mara.

"Okay Mara, lay back." Chris instructs, Mara flips her feet up and lies against the slightly propped up bed. "Do you feel any pain when I press?" Chris asks as she prods two careful fingers against certain areas around Mara's abdomen and stomach.

"No." Mara shakes her head, watching Chris' fingers.

"Good, how about here?" Chris runs four fingers over her ribs.

"Nope." Mara shakes her head once again.

"Alright, Mara can you come with me to the scales?" The two walk to the closed door and Mara steps up on the scale for her weight check.

"43.7 pounds. You've lost 3 pounds since last time." Chris sighs, writing down on the clipboard her findings. "And you've grown 1 inch." She adds with a smile, ushering Mara back to the bed.

"I'm getting taller mommy." Mara says proudly.

"That's great baby." I say, kissing her forehead and glancing at Chris' apprehensive facial expression.

"Okay so two more tests. Do you want the ultra sound first or the tissue exam?" Chris asks, Mara tucks her legs up to her chest and shrugs. "Well let's do the tissue first since the equipment is here and then I can go and grab the machine for the ultra sounds. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good girl. Lay back, legs up. That's it." Chris praises Mara for following instructions and quickly gathers new gloves and her flashlight.

"Just focus on me." I whisper next to Mara's ear knowing how uncomfortable this is for her. She turns her head and we hold one another's eyes as Chris sits on the rolling chair and gets to work.

"So any change in her urine or her urinary patterns?" Chris asks, I notice Mara's lip tremble, her eyes falter as she tries to glance down at Chris. I squeeze her hand to grab her attention and kiss her nose.

"No, all seems normal. Dr. Belanger got the urine test already so you should have that." I say, stroking my fingers over each of her eyebrows and kissing her nose again.

"Just a little prodding Mara. Nothing to worry about." Chris warns as she grabs her little inspection tool. Mara flinches at the contact and her eyes fill with fast tears.

"Almost done." I promise her, drawing circles on her hand with my thumb. Finally Chris clicks off the flashlight and pushes the chair away.

"All done." She announces, Mara quickly drops her legs down and sits up, scooping them into her chest for comfort. "You did so good Ari." Chris says, covering her left wrist with her hand before Mara can pinch at it. All our friends have gotten used to doing that when they notice her behavior changing.

Chris leaves and returns with the ultra sound machine.

"Gown up little girl." She says, draping a blanket over her lower half while Mara reveals her tummy. Chris applies the gel and looks around, changing visual aspects and revealing the 3D versions of specific organs. I notice the mangled uterus that is obviously destroyed. It breaks my heart.

* * *

**My heart is filled with the happiness of being able to write for all of you. Passion comes with love and dedication, you all have a passion for Divergent and a passion for this fanfic. It's as though writing is a sustenance for myself and based off the way many of you read it makes me feel even better about doing it. **

**November 1st! Christmas is here, YAY! I'm going to put up the christmas tree and get out the count down calendar and grab the stockings :) Christmas is my favourite time of year!**

**Comment :)**

**-Valentina **


	73. Chapter 73- Exhibit A

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 73  
Exhibit A

|After the appointment|

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I ask Tobias as we find him seated in the waiting room.

"Just wanted to check on my little pumpkin and give you time to talk to Chris about Phoe. How are you baby?" He asks Mara, scooping her into his arms and hugging her tightly.

"I'm going to go talk to her now. See you at dinner. Make sure she eats." I say sternly, kissing him on the lips and Mara on her forehead.

"Love you." He says, waving one hand as he leaves the infirmary.

"Are they going to dinner?" Chris asks, coming to stand next to me in her regular clothes.

"Yeah. I need to talk to you about something."

"Yeah so do I." Chris says warily, taking my arm and walking me into a private room.

"You go first." I say, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Mara has a possible kidney infection. I'm ordering some antibiotics from Erudite for her and we should be able to give them to her by the next appointment. Problem is, is that the infection if I am correct, can spread quickly and cause kidney failure. That's only going to put her back in the hospital. I was all for releasing her early so she could spend Christmas at home but she's too sick to be out here. She needs to come back for tests and medical care. We'll try the pills but if they don't work by the end of summer break I want her here where we can monitor all of her system."

I honestly wish at this point I'd gone first. Tears were streaming down my face as I felt my knees buckle. Chris walked me over to the chairs and we sat, her hand stroked my hair as I quivered with sobs.

"Tris she's going to make it. This is simply a precaution." She reminds me, I nod along to her words.

"I'm just worried because she's sick and Phoe is sick and Ezra is mad at Tobias and I and Damien is dealing with his own baggage. And I just want it to be easy for once. No one sick, no one hurt, no one ready to collapse at any minute. I'm at my breaking point Chris." I sob heavily as she tries to back up the conversation.

"Whoa, back it up a notch Tris. What's wrong with Phoe?" She asks me, grabbing my shoulders.

"I don't know. She's throwing up and her period is late-"

"Is she pregnant?" Chris suddenly questions.

"That's the problem. She can't be because she's never had intercourse. I think something really bad is going on with her."

"Well multiple things no and days can be caused by multiple diseases or infections.

She can have something as simple as the stomach flu or it can be as sever as… maybe cancer. But it's so rare to find cancer today that it's a one in a million chance she'd have it."

My heart pace quickens and I begin to shake.

"Ca-cancer?" I choke out.

"No Tris. Highly unlikely." Chris attempts to comfort me, her arms wrap around my shoulders and she presses my head into her neck. "She's probably under a lot of stress. It can be an ulcer. Just bring her in and I can tell you exactly what's wrong. Don't worry Tris. Everything will be okay."

|Everyone is at the Eaton apartment enjoying some family time after dinner|

"Hey Tris. Look at this." Marlene grasps my hand and pulls it to her petit stomach. "He's moving." She coos, I feel the instantaneous hit to my hand from her baby.

"That's amazing Mar." I say, placing my other hand on and laughing.

"Mommy what are you doing?" Mara asks, peeking at me.

"Little girl, come here." Marlene says, offering her hand out to the girl behind me. Mara places her hand in Mar's and steps over my lap as she sits down next to me and allows Marlene to place her hand on her stomach.

"Is it the baby?" Mara asks excitedly.

"Mh'hm. He likes to move a lot." Marlene says, glancing at Uriah who blows up his cheeks with air and blows a stream of cool air at Sam. She gurgles and rocks in her daddy's arms.

"Is it cool?" I ask Mara as she glances at me.

"Yeah. Chris, did Thalia do that?" She asks, pointing to the little girl grabbing Will's lip and stepping on Tobias' lap for leverage.

"Yup, and so did Piper." She says, looking to the kitchen table where two significant others were missing. Phoenix decided to go and talk to Alex, she wasn't too pleased with the thought but went anyways.

"Izzy moved like she was in a tornado." Shauna remembers, lifting her head from where it rested on Zeke's chest. "Kicked me every chance she got. Especially at night." She said, smirking at the memory. I noticed the slightly pained expression she got underneath the forced smile. It still hurt her that she didn't have her baby that miscarried. It's almost been a month since it happened.

"Well I had two at one time and I'm not the biggest person ever." I say quickly, trying to distract her with some energy based competition.

"Not my fault you were born the size of a peanut." She contradicts, I laugh and throw one of the throw pillows I have behind me at her head.

"Well I think I win." Chris says, taking Thalia from Tobias' lap.

"Exhibit A." She says, holding the chubby baby. "Phoe and Damien were tiny! This girl was nearly 12 pounds!"

"I agree, the twins didn't even amount to the size of this chubby bunny." Will states.

"I love every part of her though." Chris says, pressing the baby to her chest and kissing her head profusely.

"Fair enough." I sigh, leaning against the couch and playing with one of Mara's curls.

"I wish I was your baby." Mara says to me, extracting her hand from Marlene's stomach and curling up by my side.

"Sweetheart, you are my baby." I say, kissing her forehead.

"I'm not like Damien or Phoenix or Ezra." She sighs, folding her arms over her chest. Everyone seemed to watch her warily.

"No, but it doesn't matter whether or not a mommy holds her baby in her. You're in my heart, that's the most important place anyone can be." I say, she nods and lays her head on my lap.

"We should tell-"

"No not yet." I hear the all too loud teens talk in the kitchen. My head turns around and I see Damien sitting on the stool with Piper on his lap and Ezra and Izzy sitting on the counter top playing a hand slapping game.

"They're cute together." Chris giggles, leaning against Will. Tobias rises from their end and comes to me, his arms encase my body and he presses his nose into my hair.

"Anyone need more tea?" Damien calls to us, everyone looks at him and say subtle no's and thanks.

"So Shauna, are you going to train the initiates again this year. Tobias and I signed up already and we noticed Zeke's name but not yours." I mention, she gives a gentle smile.

"I'm thinking about it. After the doctor told us about the miscarriage he said I was entirely infertile. I mean, maybe over the summer break Zeke and I will be lucky and actually have a successful pregnancy."

"That's great." Izabel chirps from the kitchen. She is giddy with joy causing her to lose focus on Ezra and allowing him to slap her hands. "Ouch." She squeaks, withdrawing her hands and blowing cool air on the red skin.

"Sorry." Ezra laughs, she shoves him and he falls from the counter, still laughing as hard as before.

"Hey, no roughhousing you two." Zeke reprimands but laughs at their hunched over, breathless figures.

"Sorry Dad." Izabel giggles, helping Ezra up and situating herself on the counter again.

"I'm worried about Phoe." Tobias says, looking to the door expectantly.

"Tobias you can't worry about her all the time. She's a young lady, she can handle herself."

"If she comes back crying I'm hunting down that bast-" Before Uriah can finish that thought I shot him a glare and he fixes his words, "I'll find him and I'll punch him." He settles with.

"Allow me a few punches." Zeke says, Will nods along.

"If anyone gets to beat him up, it's me. I'm her dad."

"Yeah but dude, we're like her honorary dads." Will says, we all laugh at the truth.

"Still, I get the most punches." Tobias puffs, glancing at the door again.

"You know the more you watch it, the slower things will begin to happen." I whisper into his ear, giving him a small kiss on it.

"I know, I just don't like to know that a kid like him is with her right now."

"Tobias, he was a good kid. He mad a mistake, he didn't harm her physically. Just remember that." I say softly.

"Tris is right, don't go beating the life out of the kid before Phoenix can get you to." Lynn says, readjusting her position and laying her legs on top of Ronnie's.

"Exactly. Thank you Lynn." I place a hand on Tobias' knee and trace his kneecap.

Few minutes went by and then the door was banged on loudly. Mara jerked up off my lap in fear and the rest of us stared at the door in question.

"It's open." Uriah calls, adjusting Sam on his lap and wrapping a protective around her.

"Four, Tris. I need help!" Alex comes bursting in, his face fear-stricken and features quivering with adrenaline. Tobias is first to rise, soon after the rest of the guys do, including Damien.

"Where's Phoenix, Alex?" Tobias says between clenched teeth, approaching the boy with clenched fists.

"Tobias." I warn, knowing that's his pose for punching someone.

"Alexander, I swear to god, if my daughter is hurt because of you I'll knock the living daylights out of you." He threatens, getting exponentially close to Alex now.

"Tobias stop." I say with more authority, rising from the couch and pressing myself between the two. I turn with a hard glare to Alex and wait for him to explain.

"What do you need Alex? Where's Phoe?" I ask in a reasonable tone.

"She's at my place. She can not stop throwing up so I ran here to get you guys." He explains, Chris rises at these words.

"Let's go Tris." Chris demands, tugging my elbow and pulling me out the door. We run to the stairs and up to Alex's apartment.

"Phoenix." Chris calls, hurrying to the bathroom right as Tobias and Alex enter. Alex was holding his jaw in discomfort.

"Did you hit him?" I ask Tobias in shock.

"No, Ezra did." Alex states, opening his mouth to pop his jaw around. "He's got a good right hook." He says with a snicker.

"Ezra thought Alex hurt Phoe."

"That reminds me." Alex hurries off to be with Phoenix while Tobias and I wait due to small bathroom accessibility.

Moments later Phoenix is being walked out of the bathroom with Alex holding her elbows. I rush to her and hold her in a hug.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"She has an ulcer. I'll get her some medicine but she should stay home for a while. Rest up and allow her stomach to heal. She's over-stressed." Chris explains quickly, drawing her hand over Phoenix's shoulder and giving a quick smile before leaving the room.

"Do you want to come back home?" Tobias asks, stroking her hair.

"I think I'll stay with Alex tonight. Less people to awaken incase I need to throw up again." She says, leaning back into his side and closing her eyes in satisfaction.

"Okay. Take care of her Alex. Love you both." I say, kissing her forehead and allowing Tobias to say goodbye as well. We head back to the apartment and rejoin or friends. Alex and Phoenix will be just fine.

* * *

**Our Christmas tree is up! Guys it's so ****beautiful, and I have all my Christmas music on my phone and laptop and omigosh it's the greatest time of the year! Who's excited for Christmas and 2015 cause I know I am!**

**Alright, I have a new fanfic up. It's Vampire Diaries based and called The Weight of Us. **

**Comment what you like :)**

**-Valentina**


	74. Chapter 74- Magnificent

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 74  
Magnificent

**_Phoenix's POV_**

"Can I get you anything?" Alex asks once my parents shut the door.

"No thanks. Can I borrow one of your shirts to sleep in?" I ask sleepily, Alex smiles brightly and carefully lifts me up bridal style.

"Of course." He replies, walking to his room and placing me on the bed, refusing to allow me to stand up. "Don't move." He says softly, leaving my side and heading for his closet. He draws the door open and moves around his tops until pulling a dark red one from a hanger.

"Arms up." He says with a boyish smile. I lift them up and he slips my tank top off leaving me in my bra and jeans. "Here we go." He slides the new shirt on and helps me stand up. "You know I can move right." I ask with a giggle.

"Yes, but you have an ulcer. Not a big one but still, it's an ulcer." He unzips my jeans and begins to help me out of them.

"It will heal." I promise him, lifting my foot slightly so the jeans can come off.

"I know, but I don't want you getting more hurt than you already are." He fussed, folding my top and jeans while I begin to gather my hair in a ponytail. "Stop, Phoe, let me do it." He says quickly, rushing to put down the clothes.

"Alex, I can do my own hair." I whine.

"Phoenix I can't allow you to hurt yourself anymore." He says in argument.

"I'll be fine putting my hair in a ponytail." I retort.

"Please, just let me help you."

"Alex."

"Phoenix."

"Why are you so stubborn?" I say angrily.

"Because I feel like I hurt you enough and don't want to make your stress level worse." He demands back, watching my eyes with ferocity and then sadness.

"Alex," I say carefully, lifting my hand to hold his face. "What happened between us was a bump in the road. We'll experience those in this relationship. Sure it was stressful but there are other things that had me worrying. I think the worst part was not having you. I didn't think what we fought about, I just thought about what we had and how much I needed you."

"I love you Phoenix Eaton." He whispers, grabbing my hips and pulling me close.

"And I love you Alex Keenan." I say, pressing my face into his chest and inhaling his scent.

"Now come on. It's time for sleep." He whispers, backing us up into the bed and falling back, pulling me down with him. We hit the bed and I giggle as my body rests over his, his hands holding my hips securely as he holds the too big t-shirt down so it doesn't ride up.

"Kiss me." I whisper, and he does so, pressing him lips into mine and moving a hand up to hold my head. He carefully tips me off as we continue to kiss until I'm under him and he is perched over me. His lips leave mine as he trails them down my jawline and over my neck.

"How much does it hurt?" He asks, kissing down my chest and toward my stomach, lightly lifting my shirt to inspect the slightly scarred skin.

"Not too much." I promise him, he quickly glances up at me with those gorgeous eyes but then looks back to my stomach.

"I've never seen your appendicitis scar."

"Does it look good?" I ask jokingly.

"It makes you look beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful." He kisses every inch of my scar. I run my fingers through his hair and shudder at the feeling. He, however, stops suddenly and glances down at the old scar again. "I don't want to hurt you though." He finally decides, sliding the top back down and moving up the bed again.

"Alex," I begin to say.

"Phoe." He interjects. "I understand if you're ready but I don't want to do this until you are healthy again."

"Alright." I say a little sadly, grabbing the necklace around my neck and rolling the little charm between my fingers.

"How did I get so lucky?" He asks, his arms wrapping around my waist as he hugs my hips close to his and touches his nose with mine.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I tease, turning my head back and forth, tickling our noses.

"I'm talking about my luck in getting you as my girlfriend."

"Well let's be grateful it was you who got to beat me up that day in initiation." I laugh; he joins in and stops once my cheek rests on his shoulder.

"What do you think our baby would look like one day?" He asks, glancing down at me.

"I'd say a newborn with blue eyes and a six-pack." I giggle, drawing the shape of each ab on his stomach.

"What a child." He beams, lifting a hand and stroking my hair. "As long as it has your red hair."

"And your eyes."

"Then it will be a perfect child."

"One for every person to admire." I finish; he nods in agreement and kisses me softly.

"One day." He says in satisfaction, I nod this time.

_**Damien's POV**_

"Come on Piper, time to go." Chris says, following the final group of people ready to exit the apartment.

"Actually, Chris, Will, do you mind staying for a minute?" I ask, rising quickly causing Piper to slide from my lap.

"Sure, is everything alright?" Will asks, looking at mom and dad skeptically.

"Yeah, Pipe's and I just need to tell you something." I say, quickly glancing at the closed door.

"Go ahead." Mom urges, fixing the final cushion on the couch while dad lifts Mara into his arms so she sleeps on his shoulder.

"Well as you know Piper will be going through initiation this year. Since there are no more cuts we know that apartment space is getting smaller. Instead of her getting her own place right away we were wondering if she could just move in with me right away." I say, taking Piper's hand as she tucks her hair behind her eyes and smiles brightly at her parents.

"I mean think about it. Damien will be 18 in about a month; I'll 16 this summer. It will be perfect. And I'm safest with him then with anyone else." She reasons, our moms smirk at one another before finally speaking in unison.

"No babies." The both say.

"Not yet!" Piper quickly says, eyes wide.

"Of course not." I say as well to dispel their worry.

"I don't see why not. As long as both of you are happy with the idea." Chris laughs, adjusting Thalia on her hip.

"Dad?" Piper asks warily.

"I like you Damien. I trust you as well. Enjoy the privilege to share an apartment." He says, clapping me on the shoulder, I smile brighter than ever before.

"Thank you!" We both say happily, I press Piper into my hip and kiss her head.

"Now can we go home? Thalia is a heavy load." Chris says in discomfort, Will instantly takes the baby from her and kisses Chris' forehead.

"Of course we can go." He says, heading for the door while Chris says bye to mom and dad and Mara.

"Bye mom and dad." I hug both of them and kiss Mara's forehead before following Piper out the door and parting at the stairs.

_**Tobias' POV**_

"Well, that was an… eventful night." I say while resting Mara down in her bed. Tris lifts Mara's blankets onto her and pecks her forehead. I follow and then we both exit the room, Tris finally responding.

"Is it possible to actually worry about all your kids at once?" She asks with a heavy sigh.

"One of the many perks of being a parent." I say, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and walking towards our room.

"I mean come on, there has to be some way for all of them to be fine for one day." She says, I laugh and kick the door shut with my foot while turning Tris in my arms and holding her face with my hands.

"I love you so much." I whisper, pecking her nose and pressing my forehead against hers.

"I miss you." She whispers, her hands sliding under my shirt and running up to my chest.

"I miss you more." I mumble, kissing her lips with gentle pressure and then more severity. She presses my shirt higher and forces it off me while I walk her backwards and push us both back onto the bed. I lift her shirt and bring my hands down to her pants.

"Wait, wait, wait." She says quickly, I look at her with suspicion. "The door." She explains, slipping from under me and running to the door. I watch as she goes, lifting myself up to sit against the headboard as she locks the door and turns to look at me.

"You're over dressed." I say, pointing to her jeans.

"Look who's talking." She reprimands. I laugh and slip my jeans off, throwing my belt at the wall and once again turning my attention to my beautiful wife. She winks as she slips her skinny jeans off and does a little twirl in her lingerie.

"Beautiful." I say as she tucks her hair behind her ears and skips to me. She giggles as she jumps onto the bed and lies on top of me. I kiss her nose and hold her hips as she smiles at me that glorious smile.

"You're magnificent." She whispers, kissing me down my neck and on my chest.

"Now who's talking?" I mimic. Flipping us over and caressing her pink cheek with my free hand, I watch her beautiful face for a moment and let out a sigh of pure blissful relief. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, no matter how much bad occurs in our lives." I whisper to her, kissing the small tear that falls from her eye.

"I love you so much, Tobias."

"I love you too sweetheart." I kiss her one last time.

* * *

**So I forgot the password to this account and was freaking out for a week. Finally got it though and am updating!**

**Here's chapter 74, I hope you like it. **

**If you are a fan of Vampire Diaries please go and check out The Weight of Us fanfic I've written.**

**Like, Comment, Follow**

**-Valentina **


	75. Chapter 75- Morning Worries

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth**

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Chapter 75  
Morning Worries

**_Tris' POV_**

Summer came quickly, and went just as fast. Phoenix got better and Mara seemed to improve, only not as much as Chris wanted. It was up to Tobias and I now to decide how we wanted Mara to get better.

"Mom?" Damien came into Tobias' and my room early one morning, peaking in at first to address our still sleeping states.

"Hey bud, why are you up so early?" Tobias asks, sitting up in bed. I sleepily press him against the headboard so I can lay my head on his chest. I yawn and rub my eyes before offering a weak smile to Damien. Mara slept curled up on my side, last nights events still being noticed by her tear-stained cheeks and red nose.

"More importantly, why are you here?" I ask him, realizing that he has his own home and is oddly seen here at nearly 7am. Nothing looked panic worthy, he dressed for any warm Chicago day, shorts and a black v-neck with convers. His hair was still wet from a shower, obviously meaning he woke up and chose to come here before the day began.

"I needed to talk to you guys. It's sort of important." He says, sitting on the edge of our bed and running his fingers through his hair. It was in this moment that I noticed his distressed features. His small scowl and red eyes proving lack of sleep. He had bags under his eyes and his fingers tapped his knees with anxious thoughts.

"What is it?" I ask with more worry, sitting upright and reaching to run a hand over his cheek. He gave a small snicker but returned to his frown, looking at Tobias and I sadly.

"I'm worried about Piper." He admits.

"Why?" Tobias asks; I take Mara onto my lap when she stirs. My hands stroke her hair to keep her asleep so Damien can continue.

"Because she's starving herself. She hardly eats anymore and I'm beginning to notice how her bones protrude more. It's like Mara!" He says in despair, motioning to the thin child in my arms.

"That bad?" Tobias asks, rubbing his face with his hands. "Have you asked her about it?"

"No, I'm worried to offend her but I can't watch her hurt herself anymore."

"Do you want me to talk to Chris?" I ask him, rubbing his hand.

"Yes, please! Anything to get someone to address what she's doing. She's already small enough; I don't think she can afford to stop eating. Especially with initiation in a week." He says. "Maybe if you guys agree to train the initiates then you can keep an eye on her for me." Damien suggests.

"Damien, we don't know if we can this year. Mara might need to go to the hospital again and we shouldn't leave her."

"Well I can't do it. My job doesn't allow me too." He says in a sad tone.

"You're scared, aren't you?" I ask him, watching as tears fill up his eyes.

"Of course I'm scared! Why is it that the people we love try to hurt themselves?" He asks as tears fall from his eyes.

"Because no matter how much love you receive in your life you sometimes feel the need to be better, for yourself. To you she looked like the most beautiful person in the world but in her eyes she might have felt otherwise." Tobias explains, wrapping an arm around me.

"She's going to get mad at me for getting Chris involved. Can one of you talk to her?" He asks, I look to the Tobias instinctively and he shakes his head.

"I can't do that, your mom on the other hand…." He trails.

"Tobias," I scold before looking back at my desperate boy.

"Please mom! I'll never forgive myself if she gets hurt."

"Fine, I'll talk to her. But you have to be there for her, Damien. She's obviously struggling and can't afford a lack of support from her boyfriend." I say, raising an eyebrow. "She needs you the most, you know that right?" I ask.

"Why me, though?" He asks.

"Because you are the only person who takes her beauty and looks at it with more than just love. A parent thinks their child is beautiful no matter what but a lover sees a partner as the most wonderful, magnificent person on the planet. You need to tell her that she doesn't need to change for you or for anyone else. She'll rely on you for her confidence." I explain, he nods and rubs his face much like Tobias does.

"Thank you." He says softly, I smile and run my fingers over his cheek.

"Anytime." I say, Tobias smiles as well as we watch our boy leave the room.

"So how are you going to confront Piper?" Tobias asks, I smack his chest.

"Thanks to you I'm going to have to figure out what to say and do with this situation."

"You're welcome. Now wakie wakie!" Tobias demands, tickling Mara until she woke up in a fit of laughter.

"Da-ddy, stop!" Mara giggled, rolling off my lap and crawling under the covers for refuge.

"Great, now you lost the little one." I joke, pretending to argue with Tobias.

"I didn't lose her, she disappeared!" Tobias replies, pressing me down and kissing my face all over. He tickled my sides as I squirmed and called Mara for help. She crawled from her hiding place and tackled Tobias causing him to burst into a fit of laughter from his daughter.

"Daddy?" Mara asks, stopping the tickles and resting her head on Tobias' chest.

"Yes, Princess?" He asks, pulling a small curl and watching it bounce back into place.

"Can we see Jackson today?" She asks looking at Tobias and I.

"Well we've got to get to breakfast if you don't want to miss him." I say, rising from the bed and adjusting my shorts.

"Surprise attack!" Mara cried, jumping from the bed and onto my back. I caught her with great speed however and laughed with her. "First rule of attacking someone," I begin to say, placing her in front of me, "never announce your attack." She giggles and runs out of the room, squealing in delight as Tobias rose from the bed, thinking he would chase her."

Pick out your outfit!" Tobias called, coming towards me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Good morning." He whispers.

"Good morning." I reply, tiptoeing to kiss him in our few seconds of alone time.

"You're pretty." He mumbles.

"You're lying." I laugh into his mouth, he just presses his lips harder onto mine and then pulls away.

"I don't lie to you." He reminds me, kissing the tip of my nose.

"How do I turn on the tub!?" Mara stresses from the washroom, making my giggle.

"Coming, baby!" I reply, wiggling from Tobias' hold and walking to the hallway bathroom.

I enter and see Mara attempting to raise the faucet with no use.

"Let me help you." I say, she steps back and I do it with ease, sitting on the covered toilet seat to get her undressed.

"I thought about what we talked about last night." She says as I pull her gown off.

"And?" I persuade.

"I don't want to go back to the hospital. But maybe you and daddy can teach me how to work out like the big kids." She suggests, smiling her killer grin.

"I don't know raven, if you're weak then it can be dangerous." I say, helping her into the shower.

"But maybe I can get stronger if I workout." She contradicts.

"I'll talk to your dad and we will hear what Chris says okay?"

"Alright." She says perkily. Leave it to Mara to see the glass of water half full in any situation.

Dedicated to: AJA

* * *

**Note to Guest reviewer:**

**-AJA (Here's your requested initial at the end of chapter 75. Thank you so much for acknowledging my story!)**

**Sorry for the lack of updating. School has gotten messy so to speak. I feel the need to rant, I've written page after page of it in a diary but it hasn't answered any of my questions.**

**-Valentina **


	76. Chapter 76- A Girl Called Beautiful

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 76  
A Girl Called Beautiful

"Why does he have a clip on his belly button?" Mara asks Marlene as they two play with the 1-week-old baby who watches with his tentative hazel eyes.

"Because that was where his umbilical cord was." Marlene explains, cooing at her son.

"What's an umbi-bilical cord?" Mara questions, stroking the dark curls on the head of Jackson.

"It's what kept him alive when he was inside me. We were connected through that and he was able to grow."

"Ohh." Mara says, nodding and kissing the exposed forehead. "I promise to protect him." She whispers, Marlene catches my eyes and smiles warmly.

"Thank you, Ari."

"Mom," Damien comes behind me, sitting on my free side and smiling to Tobias quickly. "Can you speak with her? She sort of got mad at me when I asked her why she wouldn't eat." He says sheepishly.

"Leave it to the Eaton men to screw up." I sigh, rising from the bench and walking to the exit where Damien pointed Piper's path.

I turn to the chasm first and thank god for my good assumptions for there sat a small, dark skinned girl with her skinny arms hanging over the railing.

"Hey Pipes." I greet with a smile, taking a seat next to her and grasping her hand.

"Hi Tris." She mumbles disgruntled.

"What's the matter?" I ask, swinging my legs over the black pit of running water. The girl smirks and shakes her head to avoid tears.

"I don't know anymore." She whispers, resting her chin on the railing and wiping her eyes with her free hand.

"We all know what bothers us." I tell her.

"I don't feel pretty anymore." She admits silently.

"And why not?"

"Because Damien is two years older. There are a ton of beautiful girls his age that he would like more than me."

"Then why hasn't he gone to them?" I ask her, stroking her long hair. She shrugs. "I know why. It's because you are the most beautiful girl in his eyes. Everyone sees it sweetie, the way he lights up when he sees you, the way he always wants to have contact with you, even if it means holding your pinky in his. You're all he can think about so that's why he is worrying about you."

"I'm doing this for him." She says, glancing down to her slim body with protruding ribs.

"He just wants you to be healthy. But baby, you need to talk to your mom about this, she can help you." I say firmly, her eyes snap to mine as they run with tears.

"No, please no! She'll hate me for it. I promised her to never ruin my health for someone." She sobs.

"Shh," I whisper, pulling her into my arms and rubbing her back. "Piper, she's a doctor, she can help you." I remind her.

"After she disowns me."

"She loves you. We all love you."

"I just wanted to look pretty." She sobs.

"You ARE beautiful." I say firmly, kissing her forehead. "You're an amazing looking girl with an amazing boyfriend, and an amazing family to support you."

"Thanks Tris." She wraps herself in a hug again and I hold her, listening to the simple sound of running water.

|1 Week Later|

_**Tobias' POV **_

"Ten Laps!" I call to the new initiates, heading over the small girl sitting with Tris on the ground. Tris was pressing her hand down on the Mara's feet and counting for each slowly attempted sit up.

"Fifteen. Good girl, aim for twenty." Tris whispers, Mara falling back down and sitting back up in a shaky fit of exhaustion.

"Keep at it baby girl." I encourage her, looking to the tired initiates who continue the circle of laps. This was their first day, my eyes stayed on Piper specifically as her tired body fell behind the group.

"Momma I'm tired." Mara explains, sitting up at 20 and sliding her feet free.

"You did good today raven, drink some water." Tris says, handing her the clear bottle, which she chugs greedily.

"Thank you." She says, handing me the water bottle and standing up.

"Let me see those guns." I say, going down to her level and showing her my arm muscle. She flexes her's and giggles in the comparison.

"Almost there." She grunts, hitting her arm in satisfaction.

"Six, Four!" I turn suddenly and notice the frantic initiate, Elizabeth, leaning over Piper.

"Piper!" I say, running quickly to the fallen girl and sliding by her body.

"She just passed out." Elizabeth says, unsure about what to do or where to go for that matter.

"Get her some water." I tell her calmly, helping Piper sit up and groggily look around the room.

"Hey, you're alright." I say soothingly, stroking her hair and reaching to remove her sweater. She was overheating.

"No, you can't." She mumbled, stopping my hand and shaking her head. Her eyes drooped even more as her body swayed in protest of her sudden movements.

"Pipe's you've got to take the sweater off." I say rather impatiently, watching as Tris dismisses the initiates and pulls up her phone. I accept the water from Elizabeth and send her on her way while I work to get the water into her mouth.

"Why aren't you taking the sweater off?" I ask her as I tip water into her mouth and place it by her side once again.

She doesn't answer; all she does is take deep breaths and lets out shuddered puffs of air.

"I… just can't." She whispers, I offer more water and help her drink it, watching as Tris paces with Mara grabbing her shirt and following in her path. After dialing a new number and talking to another person she is at Piper's side and is stroking back her sweat coated hair.

"I called your mom and Damien. They'll be here as quick as possible." She says, easing Piper to lie back on my lap and coaching her to breath. Piper drowsily stays awake and I try to keep small talk with her but she fails to fully respond.

"I'm sorry." She mumbles to Tris, her eyes glistening with tears.

"What for?" Tris asks, blowing a small stream of cool air onto her forehead.

"For not listening to you." She gulps uncomfortable and glances at the ceiling for a moment. "I didn't do anything to help myself, and I never talked to my mom."

"Why won't you take the sweater off?" I ask her, catching her eyes.

"Because I passed out in the shower three days in a row and have large bruises." She admits, closing her eyes quickly before Tris squeezes her hand and she pops them open.

"I'm here, Piper baby, I'm here!" Damien yelled frantically, running full speed from the other side of the room toward us. He was dressed in his patrol gear and looked slightly winded seeing as he ran all the way from the station to the training room in a mere 2 minutes. "What happened? Why are you hurt?" He asks, falling next to her head and easing her to lie on his lap, relieving me from the task.

"I'm sorry, Damien." She whispers, laughing lightly.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. I'll help you through this."

"Thank you." She mumbles.

"Anything for my kitten." He pecks the end of her nose and engages her into a few of his jokes while the two laugh, their faces on inches apart.

I take Tris into my arms, seeing as Damien has Piper, and Chris would be there shortly. Mara sits on the bench and looks at a list of names, smiling when she finds her name worked into it. The real one was in the back but I knew Mara wanted to know that she was being treated like the others. Tris and I ranked her 12 of 34 initiates, seeing as she worked exponentially hard for her first day.

"I'm doing good momma and daddy!" She exclaimed, Tris giggling at her excitement.

"You are doing very well princess." I promise her, releasing Tris and scooping Mara up. She loses control with her giggles as Tris heads back to watch over Piper.

"Will Piper be okay?" Mara asks me while running her small hand over my cheek to get my attention.

"I think so, you just need to be extra nice about how she looks." I whisper.

"Why?"

"Because she doesn't feel to pretty right now." I explain, placing the petit girl down my legs. Mara runs over to Piper and sits by her side, taking the pale hand into her own.

"It's okay Piper, I think you're the prettiest girl in the world."

* * *

**Thank you all so much for your supportive messages on bullying and your personal experience on it. It means a bunch to know that so many people are here and they care for me. This is my fanfic family, probably one that has impacted me the most. It's amazing to know that a story (divergent) can bring people from across the globe together to enjoy a teenage girl's take on a different ending(Innocent Love). I mean you all support me so much and before doing this I felt like I had no future in writing but your kind words and encouraging feed back have given me a push toward my dreams.**

**I believe there was a comment a few days back asking how long this story will go: Comment how many chapters I should aim for!**

**-Valentina **


	77. Chapter 77- Screams and Tears

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 77  
Tears and Screams

_**Tris' POV**_

There was a light rapping at the door, the time must have been at least 3am. Mara wasn't in our bed like I thought she was. She only came to cuddle with Tobias and I when she had a very vivid dream; the kind that she wakes up screaming, and Ezra needs to send her to us.

"Tobias, get the door." I murmur, shoving my face into the pillows and shoving a fist into his shoulder weakly. His light snoring cut off and he sat up grudgingly. Instead of leaving our room though he goes to the washroom. First prize for doing opposite of my requests goes to Tobias Eaton!

"Tobias." I groan, the knocking growing more rapid and urgent. I get up from the warmth of our bed and slip on Tobias' top over my tanktop because of the cold chill in the room; the temperature was dropping faster as we neared fall and it was offering no mercy to the weather. I sleepily leave our room and flip on the dim light in the kitchen that gives little light to the entrance. I open the door and instantly wake up at the sight.

"Auntie Tris." Izabel whimpers, intense tears falling down her face and soaking her red shirt.

"Izzy, what's wrong sweetie?" I ask pulling her inside and shutting the door.

"Mom and daddy are fighting again. Mommy packed her things and kept screaming. I ran away because I'm scared and they keep getting mad- and- I don't know-" she sobbed intensely and I instinctively wrapped my arms around her and cooed into her ear.

"Shh, Izzy calm down. Sweetie, tell me what they were mad about." I beg her, pressing the petit girl back slightly and tucking a strand of her straight, long blonde hair behind her ear.

She gulped some air in and breathed pensively. Tobias came to the entrance at this time and furrowed his eyebrows at Izabel. He must be thinking about Zeke or Shauna being injured just like I thought.

"Izabel, is everything okay?" Tobias asks, running a comforting hand over her back.

"Daddy's cousin from Amity died. They were good friends as kids and once he turned sixteen he changed factions. Daddy wants to go to the funeral but mom got mad saying how he knew why she couldn't go. They got in a big fight, mom threw things, dad kept pointing to the door. Then mom was crying, I asked what's wrong and she said for me to go to bed. She grabbed a bag, went into her room, screamed at dad and I ran. I thought that if maybe I wasn't there they'd stop fighting!" She broke down once again and Tobias pulled her into his grasp, rocking her like her does with our kids.

"Izzy you shouldn't have left, imagine how they feel now that you aren't home." Tobias reprimands, Izabel just cries harder.

"They won't- they just fight- why would they care?"

"Because you're their little girl, their only daughter and child." I remind her, running my fingers up and down her back like I do with Mara because it feels like something crawling.

"Please don't send me home. At least let me stay the weekend. Please, I'm begging you." She pleads, frantic eyes watching both Tobias and I pensively.

"Okay, I'm going to head over there and explain to them that you're safe though. Tobias, can you get her one of my shirts and something to drink? Put her in Mara's room on Phoe's old bed." He nods and walks her to our room, hugging her close to his side. I slip on my shoes and leave the apartment, running for the stairs and running down to floor A. I go to A228 and knock on the door, the voices inside stop and Shauna throws open the door, her face messy with tears.

"Please tell me Izzy's with you?" She demands, I can see Zeke pacing behind her with tears brimming his eyes

"Izzy came to the apartment. She's sleeping with Mara." I say stepping inside and waiting for the door to close.

"I'll send Zeke to go get her, he can carry her back home." Shauna nods profusely and Zeke looks up.

"Guys she doesn't want to go home. She begged Tobias and I to stay for the weekend. That's all she asks." I reason, Shauna widens her eyes at my words.

"Why! Why doesn't she want to come home!?"

"You guys are fighting, everyone sees it and she's tired of the screaming. Be grateful that you missed her while throwing things around." I say, motioning to the destroyed living room.

"Damn it Tris just send her home!" Zeke demands, frustration making all his features rigid.

"Look she's not feeling very safe here. The weekend, that's all she wants. You two need to work out your problems anyways."

"How!? That jack ass doesn't even care for how I'm feeling!" Shauna points to Zeke accusingly and he scowls at her darkly.

"I'm the jack ass!? My cousin is DEAD-"

"Zeke leave." I say, cutting off the large man. I noticed the frighten look of Shauna. "Go and get some air. I don't care if you take a train ride or go sit by the chasm. Just leave for a few hours, okay?"

"Fine." He spits, throwing on his sweater and kicking on some shoes. He doesn't forget to slam the door for the dramatic effect.

Shauna starts to cry and I ache for the sadness my friend feels.

"Come on, let's talk, yeah?" I offer her my arm and she takes it, allowing me to walk her towards the couch.

"Do you want to tell me what's happening with you and Zeke?" She nods stiffly and curls up on the corner of the couch, I sit next to her and offer my hand, she grasps it and wipes her eyes with the other.

"Zeke's cousin died, he wanted to go to the funeral in Amity, he also wants Izzy and I to go as well."

"Okay and what's so wrong with that?" I ask.

"I don't want to go and offer my sympathies to someone I hate." She says simply, I have a feeling there's a large story to this. I arch an eyebrow in question and she breathes sullenly before continuing.

**|| AGE UPDATE ||  
Character - Actor Representing Character (All Adult Age Based) - Birthday(Kids only) || Age in Chapter**

_**ADULTS**_

Tobias Eaton – Theo James – 38 years old

Tris Eaton – Shailene Woodley – 36 years old

Will Balgrove – Ben Llyod-Hughes – 36 years old

Chris Balgrove – Zoe Kravitz - 36 years old

Zeke Pedrad – Jesse Williams - 38 years old

Shauna Pedrad – Nikki Yanofsky - 38 years old

Uriah Pedrad – Keiynan Lonsdale - 36 years old

Marlene Pedrad – Suki Waterhouse - 36 years old

Lynn Riley – Rosa Salazar - 36 years old

Ronnie Stewart – Kacey Rohl - 36 years old

_**CHILDREN**_

Damien James Eaton – Zach Roerig - March 29th 3014 || 18 years old

Phoenix Emma Eaton – Sasha Pieterse - March 29th 3014 || 18 years old

Ezra Andrew Eaton – Chase Crawford - September 9th 3019 || 13 years old

Mara Rose Eaton - Emilia Clarke - November 21st 3026 || 5 years old

Piper Willow Balgrove - Sarah Hyland - January 3rd 3016 || 16 years old

Thalia Balgrove - Lucy Hale -May 1st 3029 || 3 years old

Izabel Pedrad - Nina Dobrev - April 28th 3018 || 14 years old

Samantha Pedrad - Rachel Bilson - March 15th 3031 || 1 years old

Jackson Pedrad - Brant Daughtery - August 4th 3032 || New Born

Alexander Keenan – Keegan Allen (Phoenix Boyfriend) - June 11th 3014 || 18 years old

* * *

**Hello Readers,**

**I am so sorry for this late update! I was planning to update this on Thursday (my last day of school before break) but then my dad got sick and went to the hospital. He has a colon infection, a minor one but he's in the hospital non the less. I wish I had more time to share the chapters I've written but I'm stuck between going to the hospital and figuring out if my family can still go to Florida. My dad may be able to fly in 10 days. We'll see.**

**Comment, Like, Follow**

**-Valentina **


	78. Chapter 78- Everything Comes Out

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 78  
Everything Comes Out

"I told Zeke when we started dating that I wasn't sure if I could ever tell someone I loved them. He asked why and I told him that I loved someone but they used me. He asked no more questions but said he loved me despite someone taking away everything I had." Her eyes were stuck on the fire and she blinked back tears.

"Shauna-" I begin but she puts up a hand.

"Can I tell you the whole story? I never told Zeke everything, he knows as much as Hector does. That I was raped by someone I loved. Lynn knows everything."

"Tell me Shauna." I say, she nods and begins the story.

"I dated this guy when I was 14. Him name was Derrick Martin. He was 16. I was stupid and in love and have been friends with him ever since I was 10 and he was 12. He was about to switch factions, he never felt dauntless enough. He asked me if I'll sneak over to Amity after school everyday to see him. I agreed and we went on like this for about a year. I was now 15 and promised Derrick that I'd switch to Amity even though it meant leaving my parents and brother and sister. He began kissing me, asking me if we should- do it. I refused, saying I wasn't ready but will be once I was older. That's when he covered my mouth, removed my clothes and- r- ra- raped me. I never talked to him again, I only told Lynn about it but that was after she turned 16 and was wondering why I didn't want to tell Zeke I loved him. She cried with me all night and then helped me to figure out what to do. Three years I kept quiet and by then I knew it was to late to press charges. She helped me to love Zeke and you know I thought it was going to be good. Zeke received a call today that his cousin died, it crushed him. I agreed that we could all go out to Amity and then I asked what his name was because Zeke rarely spoke of this guy, I only knew that he would call him Danner. Zeke said that it was his dad's sister's son- his cousin. He liked being called Derrick Pedrad like Zeke but really was filed as Derrick Martin. I had the most vivd flashbacks ever. I saw Derrick forcing himself into me, smacking me, punching me, demanding my return for another "session". It made me sick. I told Zeke how I couldn't go and he accused me for not caring about the people he loved. And then I told him that Derrick was a douche and deserved to die. Zeke got mad and said that we were over, that I was a heartless bitch. I snapped and began sobbing saying how Derrick was my rapist. Zeke refused to believe me and then I began to throw things in anger. Anger at Derrick for destroying me, anger at Zeke for not trusting his wife. Anger at myself for saying that someone deserved to die when my husband loved them. After my rampage I packed a bag saying how I wasn't willing to stay with someone who doesn't trust me and love me enough to hear my story. That's when I went to go and explain to Izzy that I was leaving for a few days and found her room empty. We tried calling her cell but it went to voice mail, we called Ezra and your house and Chris' and Lynn's, and Mar's. No one answered and then you came."

"Shauna, this is something you need to tell Zeke." I warn her, rubbing circles on the top of her hand with my thumb.

"No, he's too mad and I can't tell him what his cousin did, especially after the way I said he deserved to die." Her tears fell faster and I could feel the way she shook.

"Shh, it's okay." I say, wrapping my arms around her and allowing my friend to cry. After a while she rests her head on my lap and falls asleep, exhaustion getting the better of her. I reach for the nearby phone that was obviously thrown from the coffee table and dial home. After 2 rings Tobias picks up.

"Hey," Tobias says I smile at his voice.

"Hey," I whisper back, stroking Shauna's hair. "I'm staying with Shauna tonight. She shouldn't be alone. Do you mind going and finding Zeke? Tell him that Shauna is asleep and needs to talk to him later."

"Okay, love you sweetheart."

"Love you too." I smile again and offer an audible light laugh. He has an effect on me that I swear is toxic.

"Sleep if you can, remember you're-"

"Going to Erudite for a faction leadership meeting in a week and don't need a messed up sleep schedule. I know Tobias. I'm worried about leaving Mara though."

"She'll be fine. I'm here, remember?"

"Of course I do." I reply, yawning at the heaviness in my eyes.

"Sleep love, I'll see you in the morning." He hangs up and I put down the phone.

"Tris..." Shauna mumbles, I stroke her hair again.

"I'm here. Go back to sleep." I say in a whisper. She tucks her knees into herself and closes her eyes again. I myself follow in suit and am soon fast asleep against the couch.

* * *

**Here's an update :) Sorry for not getting much up lately, I'm in Florida and the wifi is really hard to come by, not to mention writing is not an easy thing to do when I leave at 10am and get back to the hotel at 1am. Activities to do all day, it's absolutely wonderful!  
**

**So what have I got to say to you all? MERRY CHRISTMAS! And if you don't celebrate christmas then *insert proper saying for your culture*. **

**NEW YEAR'S EVE TOMORROW! Thank god 2014 is almost done. I can almost taste 2015, it's going to be better than ever. 2014 was an awful year for me and this fanfic was one of the only things that I can truly say have made me happy. So thank you to all my amazing readers and fans who have encouraged me to continue this fanfic.**

**Comment, Like, Follow :)**

**-Valentina **


	79. Chapter 79- Pain and Secrets

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 79  
Pain and Secrets

"Hey," the door creaked open causing me to wake up with a jump. Tobias entered and smiles weakly as I carefully left Shauna and ran into his embrace. Tears instantly began coursing down my cheeks as I cried into his chest and clung to him for dear life.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He whispers, glancing to see if Shauna still slept.

"She was hurt Tobias, the same way Mara was. Someone practically destroyed her, and Zeke doesn't even know!" I say in astonishment, feeling his thumbs press under my eyes and wipe away the still falling tears.

"Where is he? Should I go talk to him?" He asks, cocking his head down slightly to watch my eyes.

"No, stay with me for a minute." I plead in a whisper. "I can't deal with this anymore. People getting hurt and keeping secrets."

"No one keeping secrets from you, baby."

"How do we know?" I croak out, in a slightly louder tone. Tobias looked past me at Shauna and then walked me to the separate kitchen.

"Calm down." He whispers, I begin to breathe heavily as everything sets in.

"I… can't." I say between gulps of air.

"Shh. Try." He eases, I only shake my head in refusal.

"The… um… the room-" I could hardly compose a sentence before my brain spun and I had to re-say what I wanted.

"Tris?" Tobias says trying to catch my attention. My knees lock and I begin to fall to the ground, feeling his hands as they slip under my arms and stop my free fall. "Easy does it." He says close to my ear while placing me with my back to the fridge. "Deep breaths."

"No, no, no!" I sob into my knees, shaking my head in refusal to believe all that has occurred in my life. "I can't. Tobias, I can't." I say.

"You can't do what?"

"Deal with all of this. How can good people have all these bad things happen to them?"

"I know you don't like this answer, but they just do, baby." He tucks my hair behind my ears and begins rubbing my knee in a circular motion.

"I just want it to be good again."

"It will be." He promises, kissing my cheek and rubbing his thumb over the spot where his lips were. "You need rest, stay here with Shauna and sleep while I go talk to Zeke. Okay?"

"Okay." I agree, wrapping my arms around his neck and allowing him to carry me to Zeke and Shauna's room. He leaves me I their bed and returns a minute later with Shauna in his arms. He places her down next to me and I help cover her with the blankets before giving him a kiss goodbye.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He wipes my tears once again and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

_**Tobias' POV**_

I found Zeke sitting at the chasm, his usual drinking and dwelling location after a "discussion" with Shauna.

"Hey man," He says, glancing towards me with a very pathetic sadness and anger in his eyes.

"Hey," I reply, taking a seat next to him and not glancing down. The height is sickening in itself, no need to egg it on by looking.

"So I guess my daughter is afraid of me now?" He asks.

"What do you expect Zeke, she was practically shaking when she came to our door at three in the morning. She said you and Shauna were throwing things and screaming and that it has never been that bad."

"She's exaggerating. It's not like I hit Shauna." He spits venomously.

"Zeke, she is 14 man! You and Shauna can't argue like this every time something doesn't go your way. And you can't accuse her of exaggerating things when she doesn't want it to be true." I say, noticing his slight change in demeanor.

"What else did she say?" He asks.

"Nothing else except for you two arguing and it scaring her."

"So she didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I ask.

"When we were throwing things I…. The phone slipped and it hit her arm by mistake."

"Zeke," I moan as I hit my forehead with my hand.

"I swear I had no intention on hitting anyone! I would never hurt them! I was angry."

"That's still not an excuse. She's petrified and now I know why." I say; he seems to grow smaller at my harsh words. "As for Shauna-"

"Don't get me started." He nearly barked back.

"And why not?" I ask just as angrily.

"Because she is heartless!"

"She is hurt!" I demand just as fast as he can reply.

"Oh so my cousins death bothers her?" He mocks, rolling his eyes.

"No, in fact it relieves her from that damn burden she's lugged around for years."

"What burden?" He raises an eyebrow in suspicion.

"He did things to her, Zeke! Bad things." I say, not giving away her secret entirely. I knew it wasn't for me to share but Zeke needed to understand that she is acting the way she is for valid reasons.

"You mean… oh god." He blinks hard a few times and then throws up over the railing, straight into the chasm. The thought was sickening, he knew very well that he was wrong and it was enough punishment.

"Tris is staying with her the night. Give her some space. Go to Amity for the-"

"I refuse to attend that service." Zeke demands between heaves.

"He's still family." I reason.

"Shauna is my wife. I love her more." He says, wiping his mouth and sitting up.

"At least wait for her to call you. She will eventually. Maybe stay at Uriah's for a little." I suggest.

"Can I go see Izzy. Please man, she needs to know that I'm sorry." He pleads, I nod and rise, indicating him to follow me.

We walk back to my apartment, Zeke not saying a word at we watches the floor in shock.

When we enter the door I go to the girls room and fetch Izzy who hazily wakes up with wet tears soaking her cheeks.

"It's okay. You're dad just wants to see you real quick." I say, wiping her cheeks and stroking back her hair.

"Okay." She agrees reluctantly, rising from the bed and following me out of the room so we wouldn't disturb Mara.

"Iz, baby I'm sorry." Zeke says the minute her sees her. She says behind me slightly and glances away from him to blink the tears from her eyes.

"You and mom wouldn't stop screaming." She accuses, finally looking at his eyes.

"And we'll work that out but I'm sorry that I hurt you." He says reaching for her hand. She hides that behind her back and speaks,

"I'm fine." She says, her words cracking as tears force themselves through her speech.

"Let me see, I promise to be gentle." He begs, beckoning her forward. She finally walks up to him and lifts her sleeve where the phone hit. More tears fills his eyes as hers spill over and she looks away. "I never meant to hit you or your mom." He says quickly, kissing her large bruise.

"I want to stay with Tris and Four for the weekend please." She whispers, forcing her sleeve down and pulling her hand back.

"Sure, whatever you want." Zeke says, not wanting to make her angrier.

"Thank you." She wipes her tears and looks to her feet.

"I love you." He says desperately, rising from his crouched position. Izzy only nods her head in response, and keeps her head down.

"See you later. Thanks for taking care of her." He says to me, I nod and give a weak smile.

"Bye." I say waving him out the door and looking to the crying girl.

"I don't want to be mad at him." She says as her tears fall to her bare feet.

"I know." I say, approaching her taking her under her arms. I lift her into my arms and carry her back to Mara's room. "He really does love you." I promise her, tucking her back into bed and tucking her blonde hair behind her ear

"I know." She says, chewing her lip.

"Go to sleep." I say softly, kissing her forehead and heading over to Mara's bed. I noticed the way her grip was slightly harsher on the bunny indicating a nightmare that's soon to arrive.

"Come on sweetheart." I say, lifting her into my arms and carrying her to Tris' and my room. She awoken, hopefully dismissing her nightmare.

"Where's Momma?" She asks, slightly dazed.

"With Shauna, bug. But she'll be back soon." I promise her, kissing her nose and laying us in bed. She lies on my chest, going to sleep with the rhythm of each rise and fall of my breathing.

* * *

**Hey guys, **

**Sorry for the delay. I got back from my vacation about 3 days ago and went to school yesterday. It wasn't easy, I can hardly convince myself to go on monday but I'm also done with all my school issues. You see everything that has occurred at school is like wrecking balls inside my brain. They keep pushing to be heard and to bother me but how can I allow something that takes up 35 hours in a 168 hour week rule my life? It's MY life, not past friends or current bullies. I've been listening to Fight Song by Rachel Platten (it was on the Pretty Little Liars Christmas Special) and the lyrics have seemed to awaken this desire inside me to take back my happiness and make my 2015 better. **

This is **my fight song**  
**Take back my life song**  
**Prove I'm alright** song  
**My power's turned on**  
Starting right now **I'll be strong**  
**I'll play my fight song**  
And I don't really care if nobody else believes  
Cause **I've still got a lot of fight left in me**

**Losing friends and I'm chasing sleep**  
**Everybody's worried** about me  
**In too deep**  
Say **I'm in too deep**  
And **it's been two years**  
I miss my home  
But there's **a fire burning in my bones**  
And **I still believe**  
Yeah **I still believe**

**-Valentina **


	80. Chapter 80- My Little Girl

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 80  
My Little Girl

_**Tris' POV**_

When I awoken I stared at Shauna. She still slept thankfully but I knew jostling the bed would cause her to snap out of her rest. So I settled for laying very still and analyzing her distressed features. She lightly scowled and had tear soaked cheeks from crying in her sleep. She so desperately needed help but she never asked for it.

"You're really creepy if you watch everyone sleep." Shauna says, spooking the living day lights out of me.

"I didn't want to wake you." I said, noticing how red her eyes were when she opened them.

"I've been awake for hours. How could I sleep when my husband is out there and daughter is too scared to even come home?" I shrug in response and reach my hand up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "Thanks for listening to me last night. I really needed to tell someone about what Derrick did and I'm glad it was you who was able to hear my story." She shamefully looks to her sheets. I sit up in the bed and rest myself against the headboard.

"I may not have been through what happened to you but Mara has and I can tell you first hand just how brave you must be to be able to move on with your life the way that you have after something like that."

"It was never easy. I spent nights just without sleep. I didn't eat for days and I even shaved my head. I hoped that if I wasn't pretty then he or any other guy for that matter wouldn't come after me again." She absentmindedly runs her hand through her shaved left side of hair.

"You deserve so much more Shauna. The fact that he is dead just doesn't seem like enough. He was over 17, an adult, and you were just a kid. I know it wouldn't matter now but he deserved to be behind bars." I say, she smiles at me weakly as tears work down her cheeks.

"I wish he was." She chews her bottom lip and shakes her head in refusal to cry anymore. "When Mara was found I remember how sick I got. I threw up for days and Zeke said it was the flu but I knew it was because I was so disgusted that someone hurt her the same way they hurt me. Only difference is that they are behind bars. One day she will be grateful to know that she is not at risk anymore because those men are put away forever."

"Caleb is in for only 50 though."

"Still, she will know how to protect herself by then." She says, picking at her dark nail polish.

"Can I do anything for you?" I ask, blinking my tears back.

"No. I just want to... I don't know what I want to do." She says in despair.

"If you still need to cry, I'm here. You don't need to hide this anymore. All this hurt and sadness that has been cooped up in you needs to be released."

"I didn't think anyone would care." She whispers.

"I care." I say hugging her close as her body racks with sobs.

_**Tobias' POV**_

"Daddy why didn't mommy come home?" Mara asks me as I scrub her hair.

"Well, she was helping a friend." I explain simply, watching as she sinks her washcloth into the tub and pulls it up, repeating the action as a pass-by.

"Do I have to do my homework since she isn't here?" She asks slyly, giving me her stellar grin.

"How do those two things even connect?" I ask her, rubbing a group of bubbles onto her little nose. She giggles and paws away the suds.

"I don't know. It was worth a shot." She shrugs and braces herself for the downpour of water as I raise the cup to clear away her shampoo. "Am I clean yet?" She asks me through a waterfall of soap and water.

"You just got in the tub." I point out.

"Yeah but I'm hungry." She explains.

"I promise to take you out to breakfast as soon as we condition your hair and wash your dirty body."

"I'm not dirty!"

"Oh really?" I questions, grabbing a tissue and wiping away some stuck on dirt that coated her knee.

"I don't know how that got there." She raises her hands in surrender and shakes her head.

"Silly bean." I laugh, continuing on her hair and glancing at my phone every so often.

"Hey dad, Iz and I are heading out to breakfast now." Ezra calls from the other side of the door.

"Alright buddy. Izzy are you sure you want to go to school today?" I ask once more, wiping the soap from my hands as I rose from the floor and opened the door a crack. Izzy looked at me with sleepy eyes but nodded despite her exhausted form. "Sweetheart it's Friday, you can just stay here with Ezra all day and through the weekend. We have movies and I'm sure you can sleep a while longer." I suggest, Ezra nods in agreement with me and she shrugs slightly.

"I just don't know what to do right now." She whispers sadly.

"Well I'm in charge and I don't want you going to school like that. Especially if you have to train jump. Why don't you head back to bed for a while? Ezra will stay here and you guys can call me at the training room at any time." I say, she nods and Ezra thanks me before taking her back to Mara's room.

"I guess it's just us for breakfast, beanie." I say walking back to the tub and unplugging the drain. Mara had already cleared away all the soap from her body and scrubbed her knees while I was talking to Ezra and Izzy.

"Since momma isn't here, do I still get to train?" She asks.

"Of course, maybe you can take a few swings at the punching bags and I can teach you how to spin your knife." I say, lifting her from the tub and sitting her on the toilet. I grab her tooth brush and do a basic knife spin with it, making her giggle.

"I want to learn that." She gushes, taking the brush from my out stretched hand and awaiting the toothpaste.

"You will." I promise her, adding some toothpaste and putting some on my own before we both begin to brush our teeth. She copies my movements and glances at my reflection for advice on how to clean her teeth right. I rinse out my mouth and look to my bubbly mouthed child.

"Are they clean?" She asks through the foam, some of it dripping from the side of her lip.

"Sure are. Look at those pearly whites." I say, making way so she can pull herself up on the counter and rinse out her mouth. She growls at the mirror and laughs afterwards.

"I'm scary." She tells me, giving me her growl.

"Sure are." I say, scooping her over my shoulder and listening for the squeal to erupt from her.

I help her dress in a pair of black leggings and a black tank top. She laces up her combat boots and waits for me to brush her hair into a ponytail.

"Thanks daddy. Now let's go train!" She jumps, running for the door with me close behind. I grab our hoodies and the cooler full of ice packs and water bottles.

"I have my water bottle." She tells me as we walk to the cafeteria. She shakes her half full bottle of water, causing its contents to swim around.

"Do you think we will run into our friends?" I ask, as I plop her hoodie into her arms and swing mine over my shoulder so I can carry the cooler better.

"I don't know. I hope Marlene is there with Jackson. And Chrisy, cause she promised to let me carry the first aid kit to the training room."

"That's a big task." I tell her.

"I know, but I can handle it. I know what to do with the kit." She nods proudly; I smile to myself and hug her close to my side.

"My little girl."

* * *

**So here's some fluff of Tobias being a dad since I hardly do any of that. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Comment, Like, Follow for more updates coming your way. **

**Also I apologize to anyone expecting a reply in private messages. I've been super busy lately and haven't found the time to throughly reply to anything. By Friday I should be done my science, socials, french, math, english, and CE tests so no more studying and I can relax and take time to say hi to you all. And yes, I literaly have all those tests this week, YAY :|**

**Thanks for your support and kind words on the last chapter :) I'll try to update as soon as possible! **

**-Valentina **


	81. Chapter 81- The Truth

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 81  
The Truth

_**Tris' POV**_

|1 week later|

I rode the train for a long while, waiting to find the end of the northern tracks, which would lead me to the faction prison. It's one thing to be locked up, but it's another to be locked up and feel guilty. Caleb needed to hear just how wrong he was for doing what he did. How he destroyed my daughter and for his own reasons alone. It took days of self-convincing and speaking with Shauna about the benefits of speaking with him for me to finally get on the train but now I'm on a set mission. I was going to see my brother and I was going to make sure his next 50 years in prison destroyed him from the guilt I was about to bestow on him.

"Hi, I'm here to visit Caleb Prior." I say to the prison guard at a desk once I enter the rather dark building.

"What's your relation to the prisoner?" He asks, typing on the computer in front of him.

"He's my brother." I say with disgust, losing immediate eye contact in shame.

"You're the first family to ever visit him." He points out.

"Our parents are dead and I'm his only sibling. I had my reasons to stay away." My feet tap the floor in pain. "Can I see him or not?" I ask, making a faint smile appear on his lips.

"He's not supposed to have contact with others but I'll let it slide this time. Follow me." He rises from the desk and leads me to the elevator. The only elevator in the whole building placed smack in the center. As we ride I count how many floors we pass. 18...19...20...

"Based off the severity of crime we place the prisoners on certain floors. If it was minor they get bottom floors, higher up means greater crimes. This is our only entrance and exit route, three guards watch the elevator doors 24/7 and we have the gate surrounding the building." He explains, I nod in understanding.

40...41...42...

"So why do you put the dangerous higher up?" I ask.

"In case they jump. If they manage to escape from their cell and head for a hallway window then it's a life or death penalty. If you get a bottom floor cell then escape can be easy, if you're cunning enough to do it."

75...76...77...

"What's the worst crime committed?"

82...83...84...

"Anything that involves the torcher of a person. Children especially. If someone with a mind as corrupt as that is running around society then we need to deal with them. Factions only go so far, there are still criminals out there."

99...

"Here we are." The doors slide open and, just as promised, three guards stood there waiting with heavy guns strapped on their sides.

"Wesley, Savannah, Conrad. I have a visitor for prisoner AD747, Caleb Prior. Please be sure that his sister sees him and returns back down safely."

"Will do Sir." The lady, Savannah, replied. I stepped out of the elevator and watched as the doors shut and the elevator creaked indicating its descent.

"Alright Ma'am, just follow Savannah and she'll explain the basic visiting rules." One of the men told me. I nod and follow the well-built woman.

"So what's your name?" She asks me, leading me through a hallway.

"Tris." I reply, feeling as my cool pocketknife presses against my hip.

"Alright Tris, our only rule is no touching. Even if he attacks you, do not fight back; I'll take care of him for you. Other than that you get one hour, so keep it brief. That hour goes by faster than you think. I'll have to lock you in with him but if you want out just tell me, I'll be right by the door." We stop at a cell and I watch as she pulls out a card. It's the access to the cell. She slides it through a slot and then opens the bars. I noticed Caleb sitting in an upper bunk, reading a book, not even caring that someone opened his cell.

"You have a visitor." Savannah says, this catches his attention. "It's your sister." She concludes, he glances from the book and speaks,

"Beatrice?"

~.~.~

"No touching." Savannah tells him as she pulls down the in wall table and pulls two chairs up to it.

"Call me when you want out." She says.

"Thank you." I take a seat and watch my jittery brother take the opposite one.

"Why are you here?" He asks once we are both locked in.

"You know I had a whole speech ready? I was going to make you feel so guilty that it'd be hard for you to live each day. I was going to-"

"Tris," he attempts to cut me off.

"No Caleb! You don't get to explain what you did. It was wrong and awful and you destroyed Mara!"

"I know,"

"You don't though, that's the problem. You lied to me for 16 years about whom I grew up around." I scream, burning my eyes through his.

"No Beatrice, I lied to myself!" He screams back just as fast. "The world can't conform to the needs of a child. I did what I did for science, so I could find a cure for Divergents." He looks away but I slam my fist down on the table.

"So you electric shocked a 5 year old?" I question.

"That was a demand, I was the only one who could do it."

"Why did you do it though?" I seethe.

"Because it was her life or mine! I didn't want to die and I sure as hell didn't want that kid to get away with killing our parents." Just then I notice his faint lip twitch, the same one Chris noticed the first time the two met and Caleb lied about something minor. She said it was his tell tale, I now knew something was up.

"She didn't kill him, someone else did. What are you lying to me about?" I ask crossing my arms and leaning back against my chair.

"I'm not lying." Again the lip twitched.

"Caleb, I will drag you to Candor if I freaking have to. Tell me the truth." I demand. He refuses to speak so I throw accusations.

"Did you kill Mara's mother? Beat the woman down with a two year old watching helplessly? Or how about the house? Did you burn the house down, Caleb?" I spit out, he cringes slightly. "What have you done?" I ask, rising from my chair in shock.

"You didn't see them. They loved Mara more than their own children. They laughed with her and played games with her. We never got that, Beatrice. It was always faction rules for them."

"So you killed them?!" I demand, tears falling from my eyes.

"I just meant to kill her! I was going to save them but the door got jammed and that child managed to climb out her window." He cries back, rising as well and swiping at his tears.

"You killed our parents!" I accuse.

"They didn't love us! I had to get rid of Mara-"

"No! You didn't have to do anything. They loved her, and you were just too jealous to let that happen."

"I was not jealous of that little bitc-"

"Don't you dare call my daughter a bitch!" I scream out loudly, pointing my finger at him.

"Shut up Beatrice! Stop being an idiot and realize she will destroy you!"

"She's 5 years old!"

"She killed our parents."

"No Caleb," I whisper slightly breathless. "You did."

Just then Savannah opened the bars and allowed me out, shaking her head at Caleb. I begin to cry harder, recalling my conversation with Caleb. I don't know the woman, or which faction she originally came from, but Savannah showed kindness the moment she wrapped me in a hug and told me that he wasn't worth it.

* * *

**Well, Caleb is officially a murder, sorry if you likes his character.  
Alright heres the update I promised :) **

**Comment, Like, Follow :)**

**-Valentina**


	82. Chapter 82 - Only Us Darling

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 82  
Only Us Darling

"Tobias," I say into my phone, waiting for his crackled response. The train offered little reception but I needed to talk to him, I needed someone to stop me from throwing myself off this train and ending this shitty life right in that moment.

"Tris?" His voice scratched through the other end, confusion burrowed in the emotion of my name.

"He killed them, he killed my parents." I say into the phone, sobbing as I clutched the handle to the door and curled in on myself.

"Baby, what happened?" He asked a little more frantically, the signal clearing somewhat.

"Caleb killed my mom and dad." I cry out falling to my knees and screaming out in multiple sobs.

"Tris get off the train. Find the safest place to jump and leave the train. I'm going to find you." He promises, panting on the other end.

"I can't do this." I whisper, clutching my head, which throbbed from this panic.

"Listen to me, get off the train. Don't hang up, just find a safe place and get off." He demands, emphasizing the word 'Safe'.

"Okay." I agree, shakily rising from the train floor and gripping harder the door handle. I peer out the door and find an upcoming path of field that seemed suitable to land. I grip my phone and launch myself, the weakness in my knees acting up the moment I connect with the ground. I feel an uncomfortable crack and fall forward, smashing my head into something hard.

This wasn't a field; it was rocks, with long tendrils of grass growing out in between them, disguising the solid platform. I made a noise of discomfort as my body smashed against the thick stone and multiple parts of my skin teared, and bones smashed. I couldn't think, couldn't move, my body was frozen in a pained heap.

The image of Tobias came to mind and I remembered he was on the other end of the phone, probably panicking at the pained noises I was making. I shoot up and immediately regret doing so. My head spun, my back ached and when I caught sight of my right hand, my whole body went into shock all over again. Not only were my fingers broken from landing on them but the phone was smashed, glass jabbed right into my palm and tearing at my freshly bruised and bloody fist.

"Fuck." I mumble, seizing as I rolled out my neck. I slowly expand my fingers, crying out when the pain became immense. Luckily the phone fell free quickly allowing me to hold my hand in a solid position. I looked over the rest of my body, finding plenty of scrapes and bruises, my right side being a lot more beat up then my left. I found my head dripping blood from where I bashed it in with a rock, but it hurt less than my leg. I look to my right knee and cringe at what might be under my jeans.

I pull out my pocket knife, glad to find it still intact and not shoved in my side like I thought it would be. I flip the blade and use my left hand to cut my jeans mid thigh, only cutting by accident near the end. I managed to slip free the cut part and pulled it away, nearly throwing up when I say my kneecap. It sat out of place, a part of it pointing out prominently at the top, proving to be broken without any chance of being fixed on the spot. Blood covered the area, a gash on the outer side of my knee protruding more blood than my head. I slip off my jacket and wrap it as tightly as I could with one hand around the damage, hopefully slowing the flow of blood. I took several deep breathes before forcing myself to my feet and blinking away the blurry image of the distant factions. Dauntless was another 25 minute ride away, at this rate I'd be walking well into tomorrow or even the day after before getting anywhere near someone who could help me. I now depend on Tobias to find me from a 90 mph train.

I get to work, limping and holding back my screams of agony as I worked around the rocky terrain.

_**Tobias' POV**_

I heard the wind rush on the other end and then a grunt, her landing obviously, but then a cry of pain followed. Suddenly something crashed on her end and her phone went dead. My heart raced as I ran around the control room, demanding for Danny to call Will and tell him to get Mara and Ezra from the apartment and to watch them for me. It was an emergency, she was hurt, I could feel it.

I ran for the tracks, the final train heading North nearly departing the running strip before I threw myself in the last cart, narrowly missing the major drop from the tracks.

I held to the door and watched for any signs of my wife, attempting to call her every so often in case her phone didn't die but simply hung up. No response however and now I was worried that she was passed out, or worse.

No, Tris wasn't dead, she couldn't be dead. She simply hurt her ankle while jumping and lost her phone in the process.

The fear hitched in my throat as I began to shudder with light tears welling in my eyes as I covered my mouth to suppress the intense emotion trying to claw free.

"I'll find you." I say, biting back the sadness and continuing my search.

"TRIS!" I cried out, hoping she'd respond eventually. "TRIS, BABY IT'S TOBIAS!" I demand into the air, feeling the cold nip at my face. It was nearing to Fall and as night got closer the air grew colder. She was waiting for me in the cold. God, how could I have been so stupid! I should have never let her jump from the train.

"TRIS!" I cry louder, praying for the sun to not set for another few minutes.

But then I hear it. After riding for 20 minutes I heard a cry out of some form, and then I flew by her, Tris limping on the other side of the track. It was a grassy area so I jumped, rolling when I connected with the soiled earth. She was at least 200 meters away from me and for those meters I sprinted so hard that air was hardly getting into my lungs before I could puff it back out.

"Tobias." She moaned when I got close enough. Her body slumped forward and I caught her, cradling her head to my shoulder as she gripped my shirt with her left hand.

"What happened, what's hurt?" I ask, pressing her back slightly and stopping when she winced. I now notice the blood, the way she shivered, the sweat that beaded her forehead. She was badly injured, and her breathing was shallow.

"I landed in a rock patch. Knee broken, hand broken," She says between tight gasps for air. I look to her wrapped knee and mangled hand.

"Your head." I say with great worry as I notice the thick red stuff against her blonde hair. She was only wearing a tank top since her jacket was around her knee causing the cold to make her shiver. I removed my jacket and wrap her in it, making a makeshift sling with the right sleeve and zipping it up. I remove my shirt next, turning it inside out and balling the fabric up before pressing it to her head.

"Ow." She demands, moving away.

"I have to stop the bleeding." I say, holding her side against me as I put the shirt back on her head. This time she stays still and begins to cry.

"Tobias, I'm done." She slurred, shaking her head as her eyes drooped.

"Hey, stay awake baby." I say, tapping her face lightly with my free thumb and propping her head up with my shoulder.

She doesn't listen however causing her head to flop back against my arm. I ease us to the ground and wrap my shirt around her head before lifting her into my arms bridal style and looking for any signs of train.

I walk for a good ten minutes before the terrain rattled with the upcoming carts. I apologized to Tris before slugging her over my shoulder and running as fast as I could. Thankfully I catch the first cart and manage to hold her with me as I drag us into the corner.

"It's going to be okay." I tell her, holding her pale body as she convulses with small shivers.

"Caleb…" She mumbles, her dry lips sticking slightly. Tears began to fall down her face as her non-broken hand gripped my shoulder again and she smothered her face into my chest.

"Shh, it's only us Darling, no one will harm you or our family." I promise her, pecking her head again and rocking us lightly.

* * *

**Please don't hate me for hurting Tris! It just happened, I was writing one minute and then BAM she was bleeding and crying in pain the next. **

**So I am really tired of school and bullying, excuse the lack of updating. I've been a little down but writing this chapter made me feel pretty good because I could escape and so I guess I can write a bit more. **

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**-Valentina**


	83. Chapter 83- Without a Pause or Doubt

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 83  
Without a Pause or Doubt

_**Tris' POV**_

His hand cradled my left one when I awoken in a hospital bed with a persistent buzzing in my right ear. The heart monitor was on my left along with the IV drip, meaning that the buzzing was in my head. It was truly one of the most aggravating things I've ever heard.

"Tobias," I whisper to his slumped figure, squeezing his fingers lightly and blinking to focus his blurry image. It took him a moment to come to his senses but he quickly came to realize I was awake and in need of his assistance.

"Tris, hey sweetheart. How do you feel?" He asks me, rising from the chair and cupping my cheek with his free hand.

"I have a headache." I admit, blinking to ease the pressure under my eyes. Tears came to his eyes and his thumb stroked near my forehead, right where my eyebrow was.

"Do you want me to get Chris?" He asks, suppressing his emotions momentarily.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks." I say, ready to close my eyes again.

"I thought I lost you." He mumbles, a tear rolling down my cheek.

"I'm not going anywhere." I say a little unsurely, the falseness of my tone obviously hitting him harder than I wanted it to.

"I'll go get Chris." He says, pecking my forehead and wiping away the fallen tear from his face before leaving the room.

He returned with Chris behind him moments later and I weakly smile in return to her sympathetic one.

"Hey there, how are you feeling?" She asks me, coming to my bedside on the right while Tobias took my left again and sat in his chair.

"Alright, my head hurts a lot." I tell her, she nods along with my words.

"Makes sense, you hit your head pretty hard on that rock. You have a severe concussion, but there wasn't any internal bleeding of the brain or memory lose by the looks of it. You hit your right ear as well, so it was bleeding a lot when you came in."

"I keep hearing this buzzing noise." I tell her.

"Your eardrum ruptured, luckily you didn't lose permanent hearing but it may take three weeks or so before you can hear normally again. You also smashed your right knee. One reconstructive surgery later and you're here." She says, moving my blanket away and sliding my gown up carefully. She picks away the gauze and tape, tossing away the bandage before washing her hands and setting up a new one. I analyze my purple knee and grimace. Two incisions nearly connect at the top and bottom of my knee, a dozen stitches wrapping around on each side. My kneecap was back in place however and whatever bone it was that was pointing out before is now in place as well. Chris covers the area after applying a numbing agent, which I must say gave me great relief.

"Your right hand was a different story." She says, I warily move the sheets and only see white. But I knew what was different. "When you fell, you landed on your side, I'm guessing you were holding something?"

"My phone." I tell her, watching her unwrap slowly.

"Well the glass got in but we managed to pull free the pieces, and it was actually a good thing you had it in your hand, otherwise you might have lost more fingers."

More fingers...

When the bandaging was gone my stomach flipped. I leaned forward and threw up on my blanket-covered lap, Tobias quickly placed a trashcan in front of my mouth so then I'm not covered in all of my vile stomach acid.

"Deep breathes." He instructs, rubbing my back as I gagged.

"I tried to save the ends of your pinky and ring finger but we had to cut it up to the middle point. I salvaged the other halves and your other fingers are in tact but it was the only way to fix it. The bone was shattered and non-reparable."

"Can you give us a minute Chris?" Tobias asks, holding my shaking head against his chest.

"Sure, I'll be back in five minutes to re-wrap her hand." Chris leaves quickly and I finally let out a sob.

"Tris," He mumbled, moving the can away and trying to look at my face. I refuse so he carefully moves away the dirty blankets, making sure to keep the contents in the bundle. He placed a new one on my lap and dropped the vomit one in the chute to the laundry room. "Baby, talk to me." He says, sitting opposite of me and stroking a hand under my chin.

"I'm missing two fingers, Tobias!" I scream at him, hitting his hand away with my left hand and continuing. "I'm in a hospital! I can't hear a fucking thing through my right ear! My brother killed my parents!" I scream the last part loudest, not even thinking as I released my anger on him.

"It's alright." He says softly.

"It's not alright!" I scream back, shaking with anger. "Nothing has been right for the longest time! Why does my family have to suffer through all we do? Huh!? Tell me why our own kids have so many problems that we can't fix, why we can't live our lives normally for just one week without some new problem arising."

"Because life is screwing us over!" He says back with more urgency and anger in his own tone. "We have the shittest times, okay, I get that. But we have to figure out where the good comes in, that's our job."

"Well I quit! I don't give a damn about this world anymore-"

"No Tris, you have to give a damn because we have children. People who need a mother that is strong and can put on a brave face."

"I can't always be brave, Tobias!" I yell back, just as fast. Our argument was escalating but it helped me block out what was wrong with my hand.

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"SHUT UP!" I scream, slamming my left hand down and falling over my edge of depression. I began to sob again as I lent forward and placed my head on my legs.

There was shuffling and I felt the weight shift from in front of me to next to me.

Tobias wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me back up, leaning against the head of the bed and pressing me to his chest. I sob loudly into his shirt and quiver with the aggression of my sadness. If this is what madness felt like then I officially want out.

"I loved her against reason," Tobias says into my hair, stroking back a few strands that hung in my face. "Against promise," He continues, gently working kisses down the center of my head and towards my nose. "Against peace, " Another kiss. "Against hope, against happiness," He kissed the end of my nose and had me open my eyes before finishing. "Against all discouragement that could be. – Charles Dickens." I shudder another cry as he presses his nose against mine. "You are the loveliest, most beautiful woman that has ever graced this planet and the fact that you are mine means that I am the luckiest man to ever live. I choose you Tris, without a pause, without a doubt. In a single heartbeat I will always keep choosing you."

"Why?" I ask in a small whimper.

"Because you, Tris Eaton, have been mine since the moment I pulled you from that net and into my arms."

* * *

**What do you think? **

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**TELL YOUR FRIENDS!  
**

**Valentina**


	84. Chapter 84 - Surviving Dauntless

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 84  
Surviving Dauntless

"Hi Tris,"

"Hey," I say weakly to Chris when she enters early the next morning.

"How do you feel?" She asks me, Tobias now stirring and running his fingers up and down my shoulder.

"Weak, tired, sad." I tell her, my sleepy eyes blinking back a few fighting tears.

"It's not the end of the world sweetie." Chris says, taking a seat on my right side and stroking my leg carefully. "What happened to you usually leads to death for many unlucky people. You get to walk away from this in as little as two months. Most people don't get to walk away at all."

"I know that." I say, a tinge of sorrow working into my words. I was in the stage of self-pity and regret. Regret for what, I have no idea. Half of my mind is chanting that I should be dead, that I want to be dead, but the other half is chanting that I was given a second chance.

"I brought some breakfast for you, it's outside because I don't know if you feel nauseous still."

"Still?" I ask, not remembering that I threw up.

"Yeah, you threw up twice on me when we were on the train and once on the gurney to the hospital." Tobias says, a small laugh coming up.

"Sorry." I say, slightly ashamed.

"Don't worry about it, love." He kissed me behind the ear and nuzzled his nose into my hair.

"Anyways, do you think you can stomach some toast?" Chris asks, pointing behind herself to the door.

"Yeah, I think so." I agree, trying to push myself up with my left hand. Tobias stops me and lifts me up with him, pressing the button to lift the bed with us. I cuddle into his shoulder and close my eyes momentarily as his fingers run over my shoulder again. Chris enters with the cart of food and I sniff the air unsurely. It was far from good but I held back my gagging and allowed myself to have the cart in front of me.

"Eat what you can. I'm going to fetch you a new gown." Chris left Tobias and I once again, my hand curiously picking at the toast.

"I realized something." I whisper, peeling at the crust of the toast lightly.

"And what's that?" He asks me, grabbing the food off of his plate and taking a bite.

"I can't hold a gun anymore, or throw knives the same. My aim is a complete joke after losing the balance that my fingers gave."

"We can work on it, maybe even try using your left hand." He suggests.

"I can't train a group of kids if I can't demonstrate properly, I'm lucky to have a job as one of the leaders of Dauntless but those points we got from training are now gone. We are losing the points that help us keep the apartment and get Mara her therapy."

"Tris, part of training is the mentality that we have to give the kids. You are one of our top trainers and you know exactly how to teach them the essentials of surviving a world like this. Anyone can teach a kid how to shoot a gun or twirl a knife but it takes a true leader to show them how to be proper citizen. No one can replace you, I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." I say sadly, shoving the toast with my fingertip.

"I'm not, it's the truth Tris." He pushes, drawing his fingers up and down my side.

"Where are the kids?" I ask, changing the subject.

"With Marlene and Uriah for the day, but Damien is staying at the apartment with them through the night and getting Ezra to school, and Mara to whichever one of our friends can look over her during school hours. Tori is taking her to the tattoo parlor tomorrow, she promised to keep a close eye and not allow our daughter to get any piercings." This earns a small snicker from me to which Tobias beams with bright eyes.

"While you were in surgery for your knee I was in the apartment with all of the kids. We were cuddled on the bed, watching a movie like when they were little. It was the first time I've ever held Phoenix in one arm, Mara in the other and had both boys on either side of me. We were missing you, Phoenix cried the whole time but nobody could tell except for me since my shirt was practically drenched by the end of the film."

"I want to see them." I say, turning in my position to half see his face.

"I'm glad to hear that since they are all coming over here at lunch."

"Even Ezra?" I ask, knowing he has school.

"He missed school today, that's why Marlene could watch them, since he is able to help with the babies."

"Okay. I'm not too hungry, do you mind if I eat later?" I ask, motioning to my untouched plate of food. "I'm really tired and want to be able to give the kids my full attention when they get here." I add on quickly.

"Alright, I guess I'll just tell Chris you couldn't trust yourself to stomach the food." He says, unlooping his arm from around me and rising from the bed. He walked the cart to the corner of the room and came back to my side; helping me drop the bed back and lifting the blankets higher up my body.

"Thank you." I say, grasping his hand and contently snuggling into his side when he joins me back on the bed.

"I love you. Always will."

"I love you too." I say before falling asleep once again.

||Few Hours Later||

I awoken ten minutes before the kids were to arrive. My hand stung with intense pain but Chris administered some more numbing agent to the wounds along with a small injection of pain medication.

"I'm trying to ease your body off the pain medication so feeling a sting is normal, don't worry too much about it." She says, tossing the syringe into a bin with many like it that is being sent to the disposal center later.

"Let me brush your hair," Tobias suggests, grabbing a hairbrush and gently running its bristles over my blonde locks.

"Thank you," I say, relaxing at the soothing feeling and rubbing my left hand up and down his leg.

"Tris, you have some visitors." Frank opens the door, revealing my children. Tobias places the brush back on the nightstand as the four of them approach and offer gleeful grins, all except Phoenix.

"Hey Mom." Ezra says, wrapping me in a hug first and giving me his goofy grin.

"Hi Buddy," I kiss his forehead and stroke my fingers through his hair. Damien follows in suit, and laughs as I ruffle his perfect placed blonde hair. Mara begs for him to lift her so she can say hi to me. He does as requested and hands her over to Tobias' side so then she can sit on my side that is injury free.

"Hi Raven." I smile, taking the end of her braid and wiggling it playfully.

"Hi Momma," She replies, placing her hand on my shoulder. "Daddy told me that we need to take care of you. I'm gonna do the best I can." She promises, giggling when I smile and kiss her precious nose.

"Thank you, sweet girl." I say, squeezing her tiny fingers and allowing Tobias to lift her away from my side and onto his lap. The boys both took a seat in the corner of the room.

Phoenix stood with slight discomfort, her bottom lip trembling when she made eye contact with me. She looked away quickly, inhaled deeply, and looked me in the eyes once again.

"Hi baby," I whisper, stroking her forearm with my good hand and smiling weakly.

"Hi," She chokes out, taking my hand and closing her eyes when I squeeze her fingers. "How do you feel?" She asks, biting her lower lip.

"I'm alright, the pain could be worse than it is. How about you?" I ask her, she shakes her head lightly at the question as a tear falls from her eye. "C'mere." I say, letting go of her hand and offering her to sit where Mara once was.

"I'm sorry, I don't deserve to cry." She says, sitting on the bed next to me and contently resting her head on the pillow. By the looks of the bags under her eyes, she hasn't slept more than 4 hours.

"That's okay." I say, stroking her hair and giving a gentle laugh. When she sees this she begins to laugh herself, past the tears and heavy sadness. Then the boys began to laugh, followed by Mara who couldn't resist the giggles that consumed us.

"How can you be so happy?" Phoenix asks as I brush away her tears.

"Because you guys have that affect on me. How can I not smile and laugh when I see your faces?" She giggles again and nuzzles her face into the crook of my neck as I kiss the crown of her forehead.

"Lesson one of surviving Dauntless," Tobias begins to say, taking my hand in his. "Never forget that something will make you happy no matter what the circumstance."

* * *

**Okay so I've got some pretty damn good reasons why this entry is late.**

**So 1, school is sucking but I've complained enough about that.**

**2, I've started rowing again, this is actually a good thing because I love to row! **

**And finally, 3, I dumped my boyfriend Tyler a month ago because he cheated, now he wanted me back but I refused so he was angry. Not my ****fault you went after another chick, dude.**

**In other news, I have finalized the publication of my poem :) And my rowing friend has just texted me that a boy named Anton likes me. SOMEONE HAS A CRUSH ON ME, AND I LIKE HIM BACK! Marta said he was really shy but has wanted to talk to me for a while now. He friended me on Facebook and we were texting last night and just talking about the time we Learned to Row together, and funny things that have happened. My friend already has a ship name for us and demands to be Maid of Honour since she helped me finally talk to him. She's just a little Love Crazy. **

**Anyways ^^^^ that all happened last night so it was quiet the good way to end a very bad day :)**

**Comment, Like, Follow.**

**-Valentina**


	85. Chapter 85- Target Practice

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 85  
Target Practice

|| 6 Months Later ||

I held the knife blade between my index finger and middle finger. My thumb brushed over the sharp edge as I inhaled and focused on the target ahead. It was nearly 5am and I had snuck out of the apartment just to do this. Target practice.

I never hit the target straight on like I used to be able to, I spent days crying over it and cursing out the fact that I don't have two fingers to help me like before. But Tobias wouldn't let me dwell over what I don't have. He always pushed me to work harder and keep willing myself to get my knives in the bright red patches of the target man.

"Balance, breathe, aim, inhale, pull back, exhale, throw." I train myself, doing each move as I repeat it the second time. I inhale and grip the knife tighter as I toss my arm back, and then I exhale, the knife falling forward and barreling towards the target.

It fell short and missed the red by a few inches.

"Shit." I curse out loud, chucking my last knife on the ground and looking at my right hand. "Hideous." I say, noticing the scared tissue and angry scar that starts at my middle finger and circles down to my wrist. I flip over my hand and notice the countless calluses that have either ripped open from the bar I do pull ups on or scared over.

"I thought I'd find you here." A voice echoed through the training room, my head snapping around to see Tobias entering the room.

"Go home, Tobias. Mara and Ezra shouldn't be alone." I say, wiping my eyes quickly before he can see the tears. I bend down and grab my knife again, glancing at my scared knee. Everywhere I look there is something new on me that I still can't adjust to after 6 months.

"Tris," He says a little lighter, the playfulness in his voice gone.

"Please, just leave me alone." I beg, trying to run the proper movement through my mind as I prepare to throw the knife. I throw and miss the board entirely, grunting through gritted teeth and grabbing my head between my hands.

"You'll get it." Tobias promises.

"No, I won't! You saw how bad that was. No one can get from the floor to the center of the target as easily as you think, Tobias." I demand, falling to the ground by the table and placing my head on my knees.

"After your accident," He begins to say, sitting in front of me with his legs crossed. "I remember I'd stay up a while after you went to sleep. Chris wanted to leave your hand uncovered so then the skin didn't dry up and I remember I stared at it for hours. I came to terms with how your hand looked, and I knew that despite the setbacks you'd encounter I would be able to make sure you were loved just the same." He takes my right hand and holds my wrist bending over and kissing the scarred area. He then proceeds to pull my hand behind him and up his shirt, right to his hip area. "Do you feel this?" He asks, I nod in response. "We have scars baby, but I can tell that you appreciate me more because of these marks on my back. You cherish what my back looks like opposed to pitying me and not touching them at all. I want you to know that I appreciate you, and I cherish you and your hand no matter what you can do or how you look." He whispers, pulling my hand back to his mouth and kissing my knuckles.

"Nothing seems right anymore." She mumbles, looking to me with those heartbreaking eyes.

"It may seem that way, but I want you to know that every time you look at me you'll see that we're right. Team Four and Six for eternity." He pulls me forward slightly so then I'm cross legged in front of him as well. "You know, I've always wondered what it would have been like to know you as a kid?" He says, catching my attention slightly.

"I'd be the clumsy abnegation that wasn't selfless enough for the faction." I say causing him to laugh lightly.

"And I'd be the scrawny boy who climbed the roofs of the houses at night and watched the Dauntless jump the train everyday." He adds, making me laugh this time. "I'm positive you were just a beautiful as you are now." I blush at his comment as his thumbs wipe under my eyes.

"I love you." I whimper to him, fresh tears growing in my eyes.

"I love you too, Beauty." He whispers, pulling me forward and allowing me to rest in his lap, my head pressed into his chest as he gently drew his fingers up and down my back. "You will hit that target. I know because I married the most head-strong woman anyone could ever meet. It's in you Tris, you just have to dig deep down and find that part in you that would do anything to hit the target."

"I want to try again." I say, sniffling back my tears and nodding at my words. He smiled and beamed down at me.

"That's my girl." He kisses my forehead and helps us off the ground before cleaning my cheeks from the tears and turning us to the table of knives. "You were used to using the 450g throwing knives, but since the balance of two fingers is gone, I suggest trying 250g. If that still doesn't work we'll go for the 350."

"Okay." I agree, taking the lightest knife and feeling the sharp edges. I was getting familiar with my weapon, I was memorizing every curve and sharp point. When I was ready Tobias stepped away and I got into my stance.

Balance, breathe, aim, inhale, pull back, exhale, throw.

The knife flies and sticks a mere 3 inches away from the target. A bubble grows in my chest as I begin to jump with excitement and throw myself at Tobias. He laughs and spins me around as his eyes stay locked on the knife.

"Look at that!" He declares, proudness coating each word.

"It's not perfect-"

"But it's a hit non the less." He demands, kissing my forehead and pulling me into a hug again.

"It's a lightweight though, it may maim the person but that won't kill them." I point out.

"Let's try to 350. Maybe the extra weight will be familiar to you and the damage to the post will me greater." He offers me the heavier knife and once again I take time to get familiar with it.

Balance, breathe, aim, inhale, pull back, exhale, throw.

This time my head fogs when I see the knife sticking to the wall… right on the red target.

"Did you just…." Tobias trails, pointing at the knife.

"I just…" I say, not sure how to finish.

"You just hit the target." He says in a hushed tone.

"I just hit the target." I say back with a little more excitement.

"You just hit the target!" He demands, laughing as I give a small jump.

"I just hit that target!" I squeal jumping into another embrace and wrapping my legs around his waist. He holds me and whispers sweet nothings as I laugh into his shoulder.

"That's amazing." He mumbled, squeezing me a little tighter. "You're amazing!"

I laugh harder and pull my head back to see his eyes. Those enticing blue orbs that I so much adored. "I knew you had it in you." I shake my head and hold his cheek as I kiss him for what felt like eternity.

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**So I like this guy, and my friends from rowing say he likes me back. I talk to him, and I feel like a free person because he doesn't think I'm weird, he thinks I'm just like him. I feel like I would be happy with him, I wouldn't mind loving him and letting him love me.**

**Comment, Like, Follow :)**

**-Valentina**


	86. Chapter 86- I Love You

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 86  
I. Love. You.

She was starting school tomorrow. Mara wanted to give it a go but there was a catch. She would only go if we took her to the meadow with the rest of the family. Tobias went straight to work, calling up his friend at the gate and requesting that he let us through before the sunset that afternoon. Afterwards we gathered Damien and Phoenix, and Ezra, drawing them out of their work and hang out spots.

"Why the change of heart, Ari?" Damien asks as we walk to the tracks as a group. She was hanging on to his back and resting her cheek on the back of his neck.

"I don't want to be scared anymore." She says to him, smiling at from her own thoughts.

"I think that's very brave." Phoenix informs the girl, poking her tiny nose and walking towards Ezra.

"Personally, I'd rather not go back to school." Ezra admits, walking backward to look at Tobias and I. "I mean what if I do the homeschooling from now on?" He offers, giving that devil worthy grin.

"How about you go to the place where they can educate you properly?" Tobias replies.

"Ughhh… Mom please explain to dad how school is absolutely dreadful." Ezra begs.

"Ummm last I remember, he and I were both in school around the same time. Also, it wasn't that bad. You have friends that you'd miss." I remind him, nodding for him to turn around again so then he can walk through the door.

"Not helping." He groans, tugging his hat over his head once we were outside. "I can't believe spring break is over anyways. One week is a shitty amount of time to have off, especially after four months of consecutive school days."

"Language." Tobias warns, Ezra rolling his eyes at the demand. "And it's only 3 months of school between winter break and spring break."

"Same difference!" He demands, sitting on the ground and waiting for the train.

"Mara, sweetheart do you want to jump on your own or with Damien?" Tobias asks, waiting for our daughter to reply.

"On my own." She squeals, sliding off of Damien's back and running to me. She sits on my feet contently, not wanting to dirty her pants.

"We never do this." Phoenix says as she walks on the track edge.

"This as in family outings?" Tobias asks, making her nod in response.

"Yeah, I mean we always have friends or works and after mom's accident she had to get better. This is nice." She says, coming to stand between Tobias and I.

"I couldn't agree anymore baby." I say, looping my arm around her hip and kissing her forehead. She laughed and leaned against Tobias afterwards, enjoying her dad's presence.

"Train's coming." Damien says, tugging Ezra off his feet by the back of his hoodie and starting forward. I nudge Mara to go after him, Ezra going behind Mara and then Phoenix. The kids start to jump on. Ezra helps Mara get her footing and Phoenix finally climbs in. I grasp the handle and feel Tobias behind me, grabbing just above my hand and lifting us both in.

"Very smooth." I whisper into his ear as we both finally get in the cart and are leaning against the wall.

"I try." He winks and straitens up, finally catching his breath. "Alright so it's really simple with getting out. Just keep low and follow your mom and I. Once we get in the clearing you can do anything you'd like, as long as we get back to the tracks thirty minutes after dark. We have two hours."

"Okay." They all agree, returning to their light chatter while I hook my fingers in his belt loops and pull him back to me.

"I love you." I whisper, leaning my forehead against his chin.

"I love you too." He says, tilting his head down slightly and kissing my forehead.

~.~.~

We were slipped passed the gate and reminded of our time limits by Bernard. He hadn't seen our family ever since we took Ezra when he was 8. It was a pleasant meeting and introduction with Mara who blushed when he commented on her braids.

"My sister did them." Mara answered lightly, looking to Phoenix proudly.

"I met your sister and brother when they were a mere month old. Boy were they cute." Bernard laughed heavily.

"Well, I'm still cute." Damien joked, looking to Phoenix. "I can't say the same for my sister, however."

"Hey!" Phoenix cried out angrily, kicking her brother in the shin.

"You two stop it, we should get going before that sun sets." Tobias reminded them, smiling and waving to Bernard as we left his post.

The six of us walked close to the shadowed areas and managed to get to the fields eventually smiling at the fresh breeze as the long grass licked our legs. Ezra had begun to jump around, Phoenix joining him and doing all forms of crazy flips. Damien collapsed to the ground and inhaled the air, laying on his back and looking up at the pink sky. Then I looked at Mara, her face calm, her eyes shut. For once, there was absolute peace written on her features. No scrunched up nose, or furrowed eyebrows, or even tightly shuteyes. Just calmness. She was serene and that brought me comfort.

Then the tears began, she opened her eyes and allowed the tears to fall faster, walking over to Tobias and I quickly for comfort. Tobias scooped her into an embrace, moving slowly as if she was a baby that needed to be rocked.

"Why the tears, Raven?" I ask her, stroking her hair behind her ears and trying to get her to remove her face from Tobias' neck so she could face me. Luckily she got the message and turned to her other cheek so she could watch me.

"They hurt me." She mumbled, the fact that she was opening up about what happened not nearly a year ago.

"Does that make you sad?" Tobias asks, kissing the back of her head.

"No, it makes me angry."

"Why?" I ask, hoping to get her to finally tell us something.

"Because I missed school, and I got hurt real bad. I see doctors a lot and can't do a lot of stuff the other dauntless kids do."

"But you're getting stronger." Tobias points out, rubbing her back.

"I know." She whispers, taking my hand when I place it on hers. "I'm just done letting the bad guys get me."

"Daddy and I will protect you from as many bad guys as we can." I promise her, kissing the end of her nose and wiping away the tears.

"Promise?" She asks in a gentle tone.

"I promise." I reply, her head lifting to look at Tobias.

"I promise as well. No more bad guys." Tobias kisses her cheek and holds her for a while longer while I rubbed her hand.

"Phoenix, get on my back!" Damien demands, running to his siblings and crouching in front of his twin. Phoenix jumped on and laughed as they chased Ezra. The younger boy ran to Tobias and I and told Mara to hold on to him. Tobias helped Mara wrap herself on his back and they went off, running with each other as Damien and Ezra taunted one another with the girl on their back.

"Come on, Beautiful. Let's show these kids who's the boss." Tobias tells me, crouching forward. I giggle and jump on, wrapping my legs around his waist and kissing him behind the ear before we barrel towards our children.

"Momma!" Mara giggled as Tobias chased Ezra and then made a detour for Damien. Phoenix squealed as the two almost lost balance from the sudden attack.

"Damien, you'll kill me at the rate you lose your balance." Phoenix demands, knocking her twin in the head with her own to make a point.

"Don't make me drop you." Damien warned, pretending to jostle her off his back and towards the ground. "Ahh!" She laughed, clinging to her brother tighter and pointing to Ezra who was hiding with Mara on his back.

We all attacked the two and enjoyed the intense laughs and squeals that came from them both.

"I'll eat you Mara!" I warn, nearly catching the girl from where I rode.

"Too slow!" Mara demands, wiggling her nose at me and telling Ezra to run after Damien again. This time the smaller ones topple their older siblings to the ground and fall on top to them.

I drop from Tobias' back and run to the pile of kids, laying next to Phoenix who had Mara sprawled over her. Ezra was wedged between Damien and Phoenix leaving Tobias for the other end.

"We win." Mara says in her sing song tone making Phoenix laugh. The vibration from her stomach made Mara giggle as well and soon we were all laughing.

"Round two?" Ezra questioned, the four kids rising quickly at the idea.

"Fine, this time, I take Mara and you take Phoenix." Damien says, swinging the small child onto his back with ease.

"Deal." Ezra takes his older sister onto his back and begins to run. She was shorter than him now meaning she was an easier load for him to handle.

I sit up and allow Tobias to pull me up with him. He twirls me into his side and wraps his arms over my shoulders, taking both of my hands into his.

"You gave me more than any man deserves in life, Tris." His words were whispered into my ear.

"It wasn't all my work." I reply, pressing into his warm chest and feeling the vibration from his laugh.

"But it was all your love. I could never ask for a better reason to wake up each morning than those stellar eyes." I turn in his embrace and look up to him.

"And I couldn't have asked for a better reason to live each day knowing that it was you who would hold me all night."

"So cheesy." He laughs, wrinkling his nose as I do the same in response. "I. Love. You. Tris Eaton." He says with his forehead pressed against mine and his hands holding my waist securely.

"I love you too." I respond, pressing my lips to his and closing my eyes lightly, listening to the noise around us.

Wind, leaves, birds, and laughs. The laughs have to be my favourite part of all.

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**Should this be the end of the fanfic?  
Just wondering, in case there was anything you guys wanted to be added.  
Maybe I should make a second story to this? You know showing the family growth after a few years? **

**Comment, Like, Follow :)**

**-Valentina**


	87. Innocent Love Conclusion

Innocent Love has come to an end. It has been a joy to write it and I can't wait to share with you all my new story Firms of Endearment.

Firms of Endearment will be taking place 10 years after Innocent Love and you will be able to see more of the lives of Damien, Phoenix, Ezra, and Mara.

I will have the story up very soon, by tonight in fact. Check it out! Tell your friends and fellow FanFiction readers. Follow, Like, Comment on it, I want to make Firms of Endearment even larger than Innocent Love was.

I am very excited to share the second story with you :)

Thank you once again for dedicating yourselves to Innocent Love, 86 chapters later and I feel like I'm living on cloud 9.

See you in Firms of Endearment :)

-Valentina


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